Rule 2 - Lumen

FIND A GOOD HIDING SPOT.

One Year Later.

P ink. Purple. Yellow. White.

I stared at the Christmas lights flashing on my tree, mixed in with the silver and gold tinsel, and random ornaments. So bright, meant to bring holiday cheer, but all I felt was... melancholy.

Pink. Purple. Yellow. White.

I pulled my knees up, wrapping my arms around my legs. What was the point?

My doorbell rang[ZM5] , and I frowned. My heart twisted as anxiety rose. I slowed my breathing and reached for my tablet to check the camera. Relief flooded through me, as I saw Billy, the delivery man.

I dropped my feet to the floor and hurried to open the door and greet him.

"Lights are up!" Billy beamed from the porch. Despite him decked out in winter gear, his cheeks and nose were flushed.

I crossed my arms over my sweater, leaning against the doorframe. "William Watanabe, you really didn't have to do that. No one's going to see them but you."

Billy was the only real friend I had anymore. After my family's murders, I took the insurance and moved out of my city in lower Michigan, going north. Far north. I found a nice cabin in the middle of the woods, in a town with almost no people, close to the Upper Peninsula. It was perfect. [ZM6]

It was safe.

"True." Billy grinned and rubbed his thick gloves together. "But I like seeing them on my daily visit."

Visit was a hyperbole if I ever heard one. Billy had never even been inside my home. No one had.

We met the first time when he delivered my groceries I'd ordered online. And then after a month of weekly deliveries, he began to bring me my mail from my mailbox, a mile down the road. And the daily letter retrieval turned into packages or random coffee from the local bakery.

"Did you decorate your house?" I asked.

"A little. Although after getting zapped a few times from your old-as-dirt lights, I'm a little hesitant to climb a ladder to do my lights." He laughed.

"I'm sorry. They're the same ones my dad bought before I was even born."

His smile turned into one of sympathy. "Then I'll gladly put them up every year. A little electrocution never hurt anyone."

Silence fell between us, and Billy, as always, felt compelled to fill it before I thanked him politely and shut the door.

"Christmas isn't really a big deal in my family. Even though my dad has never even been to Japan, he insists on doing what they do over there, and eat fried chicken and this thing he calls Christmas cake. He claims he wants to return to our roots, but my family moved here in 1890 or something. Way before KFC ever was a thing. I like to go ice skating over at Lochary Lake sometimes. The ice is thick enough now if you want to check it out."

He was rambling.

"Billy, I adore you, but it's cold. Thank you for doing that for me. Even though I won't see them, knowing the lights are up is comforting. My dad would have liked that." I stepped back and began to close the door. "I took your advice. The tree is up. Maybe it'll help..."

I doubted it would make me feel better about being utterly alone in the world, but it was a nice idea.

"Wait!" Billy put out his hand, stopping the door. "Can I see it?"

I shook my head quickly, an electric bolt of fear flashing through my spine. "No! I mean..." My face flushed in embarrassment and guilt.

Billy was the only person I'd seen in almost eight months. The overwhelming dread that came over me every time I was in a public place sent me spiraling into panic attacks so hard I would often collapse or break into tears.

I hadn't left my house since I moved, and I hadn't let anyone inside either.

What if he had a knife?

I stepped back, far enough so that he couldn't swing a hidden weapon and hit me.

In an instant, I'd been completely orphaned by a mass murderer. There were eleven of them. All innocent mall patrons, happy to be shopping for the holidays. He killed with abandon that day, and later laughed, at the trial, when they brought out photos of his victims. The fear of it happening to me consumed me to an unhealthy level.

"Billy, I don't know if I'm ready for that," I said what I said every time he hinted that either he come in or I come out. His face fell, and I gave him a tight smile, and my gaze drifted from his friendly face to the snow-covered yard. I looked up. It was starting to snow. Everything was so... clean, so fresh, so new.

Maybe it was time for me to open myself up to new things.

Billy dropped his arm, and I opened the door a bit more.

"What if..." I paused, inhaling deeply, steeling my nerves. I closed my eyes.

You can do this. Billy is good people. Billy doesn't want to hurt you. Billy doesn't have a knife.

They found my parents and sisters only twenty feet from the photography studio. It appeared that they had been waiting for me to get done when the killer turned down and rushed them. They put up a fight, but he was fast and was able to stab them each multiple times before they could flee for help. Dad had gotten the worst of it. He had tried to cover my sisters and Mom to shield them.

I left the mall alone and hadn't been back since. It wasn't safe anymore. Nowhere was safe.[ZM7]

But Billy is safe. Inviting him in can be the first step.

I opened my eyes and stared at him. Yes. I could do this.

"Christmas is in three weeks. How about Christmas Eve, you come over, and I'll make cocoa, cookies, and we can watch Christmas movies?"

Billy's face lit up, and he thrust his hand out. "You've got a deal!"

I leaped back as instant fear hit me like a brick to the face. My face flushed with mortification as Billy stared at me in concern.

"Oh, Lumen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I was just?—"

"I know, you're fine. I-I'll see you later, Billy." I went to close the door again.

"Are we still on for Christmas Eve?" He leaned to see me.

"Yes. Let's plan for that." I bit my lower lip hard until I could taste blood.

"Great! Oh! I almost forgot; your mail. I picked it up for you."

I paused as he dug into his pockets and pulled out two letters and a folded manila envelope. I took it from him cautiously, the fear of him grabbing my wrist and pulling me outside ever prevalent in my mind. Who was sending me stuff?

"It's the season," Billy said, as if reading my mind. "Probably one of those oversized Christmas cards."

"Maybe. Thank you, Billy. I'll see you tomorrow." I shut the door quickly so I didn't have to see the deflation in his face as once again he was shut out. I spun around and rested my back against the door and then bolted away, the fear of a large knife penetrating the wood and slicing me in half forcing me to lock and flee the entryway.

I went to the kitchen to sit at the island and open my mail. The letters were junk mail. I looked at the front of the envelope. How strange. It was addressed to me, with my old address, so it must be someone I knew from my previous life.

When things were happy.

I pulled out the contents and gasped. I blinked and dropped the photos onto the countertop. I hadn't even thought about them since that day. How hopeful and happy I'd been afterward. I stared down at the photos of me and my handsome stranger, Tobias. With shaky hands, I picked them back up and began to go through them. The photos were stunning and had my heart racing. I ran my finger across his lips, and sadness overtook me as I remembered that while I was kissing this unfamiliar man, my family was being murdered.

Everything happened so fast, I'd lost his number.

Not that I would have called him anyway. My life now was depressing and embarrassing. Who would want to be with someone who couldn't leave the house without sobbing uncontrollably?

I reached for the envelope to search for the address of the studio. I would have to write her a polite thank-you letter. She probably had no clue how much it hurt to see these but was just trying to be kind.

But as I flipped the envelope over, I discovered that not only was there no address listed under my name, there wasn't a return address or stamp either.