Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Five Days Later

JADE

E mily walks through the living room with her latest creation on a platter. “Chocolate chip cookies, everyone. I thought maybe we could gather around and trade some stories while we wait for news.”

“Those don’t look like chocolate chip,” Ruby says, eyeing the cookies. My sister doesn’t always have tact.

“I made a few substitutions since we’re waiting for Quinnov to return from Earth with chocolate.”

“The ZDC sent him to Earth to transport the recent group of women rescued from Coalition space,” Torin says, as he pulls Ruby in against them. “Not purchase foods with no value.”

A collective gasp echoes from Emily, my sister and me. “Chocolate, Torin,” I scold, but he doesn’t understand. No zyanthan does. They don’t have chocolate on Zyan.

Ruby leans against him. “My mate doesn’t know what he’s saying. Ignore him.”

My sister looks so happy with Torin. I’m happy for her. I really am. But I’m a bit jealous her husband is here with her and mine isn’t.

I bite into the cookie, which I must admit looks more like a squishy used sponge than a chocolate chip cookie. To my surprise, yummy flavors, a combination of sweet and sour, bursts on my tongue. Far from chocolate chip, but edible.

“It’s good. Thank you, Emily,” I say in all sincerity. Even if it were as horrible as the rest of her cooking, I’d still thank her for being here. She and Makov came from Affinia during peak solcaps season.

I gaze up at the empty tree. No lights, no tinsel, not even a star on top. “Havok should have been here by now.” I’ve held off on decorating so my mate wouldn’t miss out on all the fun.

Ruby waits until Emily leaves the room and then plops next to me and loops her arm through mine. A reminder, a connection that, as long as we have family, that’s all we need. We never had Christmas celebrations growing up. We were too busy scrounging for food.

“Give Havok a chance to get here,” Torin says.

“Afraid I’ll have you climb the tree to put the star on like last year?” Ruby asks.

“I’m a warrior. There’s nothing I won’t do for you and our youngling. But this is Havok’s home. He should have the honor.”

Ruby rolls her eyes. “Translation, he got splinters last year. My big brave warrior has no trouble throwing himself on a bomb or jumping from The Relentless before it reaches the ground, but climb a tree and risk a little splinter? Forget it.”

“That was more than a little splinter.”

I laugh. I know what they’re doing. Distracting me because Havok is late. I always worry when he’s late, but usually he sends me a message.

“Are you sure he’s okay?” I ask Torin, who’s not only married to my sister, but he’s my mate’s commander .

“Do you think if he were in trouble, I’d be sitting here talking about dangerous trees and even more dangerous cooking?”

No, he wouldn’t.

I listen to the kids playing outside, running and making noise. I don’t want to ruin the holiday for them. Tell them their father might be late. They’re expecting him by Christmas tomorrow, but he’s already three days late.

Tears stream down my face and Ruby pulls me into her embrace. “He’s fine. Late, but fine. You know what this means, don’t you?”

“He better have one hell of a present for me to excuse being late?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of great make up sex, but sure, we can go with a present.”

From behind, Torin slides Ruby’s red hair to the side and whispers, “My presents are waiting for you when you’re ready.”

I turn away, not wanting to witness them flirting. I’m glad the kids are outside, at least.

But there’s something about how Torin interrupted us that’s bothering me. “Are you sure Havok’s okay?”

Ruby breaks away from him and cups my cheek. “Stop trying to be the perfect sholani and holding all those emotions in. You’re worried. I get it. We all face this every time one of our mates leaves on a mission. Why are you more on edge this time?”

“It’s our first time having everyone here. He knows how important it is to me. He would move entire planets to avoid being late.”

“Unlike me.” Torin nonchalantly rubs a dark purple voki, the closest Zyan has to an apple, against his shirt and takes a bite.

“You, my brave sholan, relish being late so you can make an entrance,” Ruby says. “That doesn’t count.”

Her words from earlier finally sink in. “Why do you think I’m hiding my emotions?”

She points to the half-eaten cookie I’m holding.

“So?”

“You ate half the cookie. You’re eating out of nerves. And I’ve been watching you all morning, rushing around, cleaning, making up the extra beds, making sure we have everything to be comfortable.”

“Someone needed to do that. And the cookie’s good. I mean, really good.” I hold it up for her to take a bite.

Torin crunches loudly on his voki. “My mate took a while to recover from the last, um, what is the word I’m looking for in Common, sholani?”

“Dessert?” Ruby offers.

“I was thinking poison, but dessert will do.”

“Poison is more accurate,” Ruby mumbles beneath her breath as Emily reappears, holding a tray of drinks, which she sets down before she returns to the kitchen.

“I thought you were giving your female cooking lessons, Mak?” Torin asks his brother. He’s so quiet, watching and listening to everyone. I nearly forgot he was sitting on the chair closest to the tree. Havok’s favorite chair.

Mak shrugs. “Cooking does not come naturally to my Em, but she is a wonderful mate and superb mother to our younglings.”

“I would never say less of your sweet mate,” Torin quips. “But I also would sooner eat dirt and meika worms than her cooking.”

“Taste it,” I order, tiring of Torin’s digs about Emily’s cooking. While he’s speaking the truth, she’s been helping out with the kids and keeping me company for the past three days since Torin informed me my mate would be late.

No explanation. Just late.

But Torin appears relaxed enough.

‘Trust in my crew.’ Those are Havok’s words that I’ve been replaying in my mind over and over. ‘Trust in me .’

I do.

“You’re angry at Torin,” Ruby says. “I’ve picked up the undercurrent but haven’t said anything, but this is going too far, Jade… trying to kill him with that cookie.”

Ruby’s joking, of course. Not the part about Emily’s cooking being deadly. We all agree it is, but she worries I blame Torin for Havok not being here. Maybe if Torin had gone with Havok, given him the proper backup—I cut myself from going down that dangerous line of thinking. Torin has saved Havok countless times and would trade places with him in a heartbeat if he could. The entire crew of The Relentless would.

“I’m not mad. I’m just…” Fucking worried.

Torin takes the cookie from me and shoves the entire thing into his mouth.

“I married a masochist,” Ruby says.

Torin’s silver eyes widen and his horns bend back. “It’s good. Truly good.”

Ruby studies her mate. “He’s not faking. That’s his ‘I’m approaching orgasm’ face.”

“Drekk, this is not something I wish to hear.” Makov rises and heads into the kitchen. I laugh, not because Makov is the grump everyone believes, but because he’ll use any excuse to be with Emily.

“Maybe I should ask Havok to retire, like Makov.”

“Don’t you dare,” Torin says. “We need him.”

“I need him more.” I didn’t intend to say that, but now that it’s out there, I’m not taking it back.

“Hey, Emily,” Ruby calls into the kitchen. “Have any of those cookies left? Torin wants more.”

“Sure do!” Emily runs out and sets a tray of the horrendous looking cookies on the table. “I’m making kirkas beef for dinner, so I have to get back before it burns.”

Torin sniffs the air. “Too late.”

“Burnt kirkas it is,” Ruby says. She’s being so acerbic today to Emily. My sister may look all put together in her leathers with her knives at her side, and unlike me, she’s always been a kickass, but her anxiety comes out in other ways. Digs, usually. Thankfully, Torin can handle her.

I shove a cookie into her mouth. “Eat up or shut up.”

She looks ready to spit it out, but then her eyes widen in utter surprise and she eagerly finishes the cookie. “OMG, this is sooo good. What the hell did she do right?” Ruby throws up a hand. “No, don’t ask her. I’m afraid to find out what she put in it. I’d rather eat in blissful ignorance.”

I laugh, something I thought impossible before seeing my sister give in on her ban against eating Emily’s cooking.

“I told you it was good. You didn’t believe me. Or your mate.”

“Never would I have imagined Emily could cook something edible, let alone really good! It’s a Christmas miracle!”

“That’s not the miracle I want.” All the anxiety returns, threatening to drown me.

“He’ll be here. But I’ll say this, sis. He better have one fucking good excuse.”

“He does,” Torin says, allowing himself to grin. “Missions never go as planned. Never. But Havok finds creative solutions. He’s working on it now, I assure you.”

I relax. Torin’s truly not worried. That and the sounds of the kids playing outside lift my spirits. “Did I ever tell you how Havok finally convinced me to go with him when he came to rescue me and Clem from the warlord’s prison?”

“You said he broke you out and didn’t give you a choice,” Ruby says.

“He tried to convince me that he was your friend. Told me you had red hair and green eyes, as if that was proof. I still refused to go with him. Then he said, and this is verbatim, ‘We’re out of time, female. If I return without you, Ruby will cut off my cocks, and I’d like to keep them.’”

Ruby smiles. “I can’t believe he actually told you that.”

“Those words were all you, Ruby. It’s the only reason I went with him. I didn’t trust him. I didn’t trust anyone back then. ”

But I trust him now, with all my being. Faith. That’s what I’ve been missing.

Ruby pats my leg. “Only the best for my sister. Although I never thought he’d take to Clem the way he did.”

“I think he fell in love with her and only tolerated me when we first met.”

“Doubtful. Then again, she was a cute baby. Even cuter as a kid.”

I peer out the window. My seven-year-old is playing hide and seek with the eeshone children who live at the Center for Eeshone, a building we can see from our home. I fill in as a mom to the abandoned kids on this world. Kids born with light blue skin, white hair, and white horns, as opposed to dark blue skin, black hair, and black horns.

My Havok lived here as a child, unwanted by family and society alike until he found me. All I could see of the male rescuing me from that prison on Earth was a huge blue alien with horns. My little Clementine had seen beyond Havok’s exterior, to the male beneath, as kids tend to do. If not for the bond my baby formed with the hulking Zyanthan Warrior, I might never have given him a chance… given myself a chance, to see the wonderful man beneath.

“We need to decorate the tree,” I say decisively. “I want this place to be perfect for when he gets home.”

“And you’re okay with him missing out on the decorating?”

“Torin can put the star on.”

“Drekk.” He taps on the comm on his wrist.

“What are you doing?”

“Sending Havok a message that if he doesn’t get his ass here soon and I’m stuck doing the drekking star, I’m putting him on cleaning out the fusion lines on The Relentless for Melikk.

My heart sails with his words. Havok really is okay. Just late.

“When Havok gets home, I have other plans for him.”

Ruby bounces her eyebrows.

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” I scold, then add. “Precisely.”

I suspect Torin’s message won’t reach Havok, or we would have heard from him, but Torin would not be here if Havok were in true trouble.

I close my eyes and picture the way Havok’s face lights anytime he sees me, how the pride for me and our children makes his horns rise high. Joy and love fill me, and that tingle that I associate with him, the unseen connection, is as strong as ever. Maybe it’s the mating bond or renewed faith, but for the first time in days, I can breathe. My mate is alive.