Chapter 28

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

CAT

B y the time I'd finished analysing and scrutinising the video call I screen recorded, I was exhausted enough to pass out hard. Virgil was alive. I told myself it didn't matter that his eyes were sunken, his bones were so pronounced he could only be called skeletal, or that his voice was a husky rasp like he'd been screaming, day after day. While I was in Death's domain last night, sleeping happily beside my men, Virgil had been screaming.

I went over every angle, every frame of the video call, zooming in on details, relentless in my search for any clue to where he was being held. I passed out some time around two a.m. with my phone on my chest, my head at an awkward angle, and my clothes unchanged from what I wore to plant the crossbow in Duncan's room.

When I woke up, it was still dark enough that I was disoriented for a few long, sticky seconds, and my legs were bare, air brushing goosebumps over them. No, that wasn't air—they were hands.

"It's just me, beautiful," Tor said in a voice as quiet as the soft wind outside.

I rubbed my eyes until I could make out the broad shape of him crouched at the bottom of my bed. I hadn't turned the lamp off before I fell asleep, so when my eyes focused there was no missing the rawness in his eyes, the desperation of his expression.

"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting up and reaching for his face, running my fingers over the sharp edge of his cheekbone.

"I need you." He met my eyes, a sharpness to the warm brown I wasn't used to seeing. "I need you, Cat."

I swallowed, guilt like a thorn in my throat. "Even after I told you I never felt anything?"

It was the closest I'd hinted at the truth. I only told him I felt nothing. It was never true.

Those light brown eyes gentled. Warm hands skimmed my shoulders, pushing me back into the pillows. "Did you mean it?"

I opened my mouth and tasted blood. If I shook my head, would it kill me?

Tor knocked my legs apart so he could settle between them, covering my body with the heat and reassurance of his, filling my lungs with amber and sandalwood.

"I know you didn't," he murmured, fingertips tracing the column of my throat. "You were hurt and grieving and in shock. But when I look in your eyes, I see the truth. So much emotion that you can't hide it. So much affection it's like a star burning in those beautiful grey eyes."

His kiss was a sudden shock, the nip of his teeth parting my lips for a fast, desperate kiss.

"And I taste blood on your tongue," he panted, "and I can't help but wonder what you're forbidden to tell me."

Panic splintered my chest, so strong Tor must have seen it because he soothed me with another kiss, this one featherlight.

"Don't tell me. I don't want you hurt, Cat."

The guilt was so fierce I couldn't look at him. I wanted to tell him everything about Nightmare. I wanted to beg for his help to find Virgil. "I—"

"I'm going to find her and rip her apart, and then you can tell me." Tor kissed the spot between my brows. "But right now, I need you so badly I can't fucking breathe."

I remembered him fucking me on the table in the castle and a shudder went through all my nerves.

"I need you to be mine. To love, to protect, to torment."

It took me a moment to realise there was no capital T on that torment, to guess at his meaning, and another chill went through me, so hard that my body shook. I was hot and cold all at once.

"Tell me to leave and I'll leave," he said, holding eye contact. I watched darkness spill through his eyes like blood in water, his need so severe that my stomach fluttered with a mix of nerves and excitement.

"Don't leave," I breathed.

"Then reach up and hold onto the headboard, beautiful. And don't move until I tell you to."

My clit pounded as he slid off my body, reaching into a pocket of shadow for a length of black rope.

"I know you like being tied up; Miz told me how perfectly you came while he bound you in his shadows."

My mouth went dry. My heart beat so hard I felt it against my skin. I reached up and wrapped my hands around the cold wood of the headboard, unable to look away as Tor removed another bundle of rope, then something small and silver I couldn't make out and—

"I borrowed this from Miz. He didn't mind," Tor said with a smile darker and far more dangerous than I'd ever seen on his face. It erased the beautiful softness of him until only harshness remained. I should have let go of the headboard and run, but I held on tighter, pressing my fingernails into the soft grain.

I looked at the wand vibrator in his hand and wondered just how badly he was going to torment me, and why that made me so wet I felt arousal trickle from my pussy. I was so fucked up for wanting this even when I didn't know his limits.

Tor's gaze poured over me in a slow assessment, something both heated and clinical in that look, as if he was assessing how to make me suffer. But then he murmured, "So fucking beautiful," and my heart remembered how to beat. "You trust me, Cat?"

I nodded. I might have been nervous, but there was no doubt I trusted him.

"I need to hear the words," he said, still watching me with that assessing stare.

"I trust you."

My eyes went to the rope in his hand and Tor smiled, a dangerous thing that hooked into his cheek. "You're gonna need safe words, beautiful. If you want me to slow down, or you need me to hold you for a minute, you tell me amber."

"Amber," I repeated.

"And if you want to stop, tell me red and I'll stop immediately."

I nodded, my heart thumping harder, a quiver going through my pussy. "And what's green for?"

His eyes flashed. "Fucking the life out of you."

Oh. Right. Got it. 1

He unwound the length of coiled rope, ensnaring my gaze and never breaking eye contact as he crawled up the bed and secured my wrists to the headboard. "What's your colour now, beautiful?"

"Bright neon green," I replied breathlessly, making Tor smile so deeply I swore I saw a dimple in his cheek.

"I knew you were my kinky little whore."

My whole body flashed hot then cold at his words, at his tone. My clit swelled, desperate to be touched. A sharp throb went through it when Tor trailed a broad touch down my chest, gliding between my breasts to my stomach. My shirt disappeared, swept into a shadow so only bare skin and aching bone separated our souls.

I would never get used to that casual use of magic, or the velvety feel of it against my skin. I broke out in goosebumps as it caressed my legs, vanishing my jeans, too, and then I was groaning as Tor's mouth slammed into mine. He kissed me like an assault, like a punishment, and I knew he hadn't forgotten what I said on the moors.

I only wanted you and Misery because of the curse, but what Death and I have is real. Why would I want you when I have Death?

When he ripped himself away from me, breathing so hard his chest heaved under the tight black shirt he wore, I opened my mouth to say it was all a lie, you were never nothing to me, you were always everything. Pain sliced through my throat and blood gushed into my mouth.

"Didn't I tell you not to talk about that? Didn't I say I need you safe?"

Anger flashed in Tor's eyes and my stomach curdled. He darted forward and licked a bead of blood from the corner of my mouth, plunging his tongue back inside and groaning so loudly that it vibrated down my tongue. He kissed away my flash of hurt, my fear of rejection, and kept kissing me until I was boneless and pliant beneath him.

"Not mad at you, beautiful, just pissed at the situation," he said, breathing raggedly. I was proud of that, proud of making him as breathless as he made me. "I love the taste of your blood, but I hate seeing you bleed. But don't worry, pussy cat, I know just how to protect you."

He turned his hand over and a ball gag formed in a pool of death magic. A gasp caught in my throat, my clit throbbing like crazy.

"Mouth open, beautiful," he ordered, both soft and unyielding. I flexed my fingers where they were bound above me, the ropes secure against the headboard, and I had butterflies again as Tor reached for my face, running his thumb over my kiss-swollen bottom lip.

"That's my girl," he praised when I opened my mouth, nerves tangling up my belly when he fitted the ball in my mouth. "Tongue under the ball, that's it, now lean forward for me."

I'd never been gagged before, but I'd always thought it was hot to give up that control, to be dominated so entirely that you couldn't even speak without approval. Feeling the straps lock behind my head sent a spasm so deep through my pussy that I gasped.

Tor guided my head back onto the pillow and stroked my cheek, immense pleasure in his eyes. "What do you say if you want to stop, Cat?"

What? I couldn't talk with a huge ball between my teeth, stretching my jaw.

Tor's brows slammed down over his eyes and it said something about me that his displeasure now made me squirm, my nipples hardening, instead of the initial panic of rejection. "I can hear you even with the gag. Now tell me. What do you say to stop?"

"Red," is what I meant to say. Wed was what came out.

"Good girl," Tor praised, stroking down my face to my throat, his thumb circling my pulse. "And what do you say to slow down?"

What came out was nowhere even close to amber, but it satisfied Tor whose smile deepened, his head cocking to the side as he stared at me, bound and gagged for him.

"Good," he murmured, warm hands running down my body, intensity and obsession darkening his brown eyes until only the predator showed. "You're gonna be a good girl and take everything I give you."

He could do anything he wanted to me and I'd thank him.

"Aren't you?" he growled when I only panted, my body so hot I was surprised I didn't give off steam.

I nodded quickly, unable to trap a whimper.

"Such a sweet, submissive girl. I'll show you what it means to be loved by the embodiment of torment."

He slid down my body and off the bottom of my bed, unwinding another length of rope. I began to drool as he diligently secured my left ankle to one side of the footboard, my other tied to the opposite end. I arched against the restraints, checking how much give there was—enough for me to writhe, enough to give me an inch or two of movement, but nothing more. A deep shudder worked through me.

"I hope you can handle it," Tor said offhandedly. "My full attention, all my torment and focus trained on you. All my carnal desires taken out on this pretty little pussy."

That pretty little pussy throbbed wildly under the thin cotton of my underwear. By now, I knew I'd soaked through the fabric; Tor's eyes kept returning to that place between my legs.

"Do you want that, beautiful?" he asked, slowly rounding the bed. To plug in the vibrator, I realised. Oh, god. I remembered what that thing had done to me last time. Euphoria, heaven, madness, and torture all at the same time. There was a reason the damn thing needed a power outlet. All the more power to ruin you with, my dear. "Do you want me unleashed, all the masks of humanity stripped away, all my wildness and brutality revealed for you and only you?"

A wave of heat spilled down my chest, desire building until I couldn't help but buck my hips. I nodded over and over, never taking my eyes off him.

"I know you do," Tor agreed in that hard voice that made me needy and lightheaded. "This desperation soaked into your underwear tells me how badly you want me. And you don't care what I do, do you?" He laughed, low and raw. "I could do whatever I wanted to you, and you'd let me, wouldn't you, my needly little slut?"

Electric charged my nerves and my clit ached, pounding, begging. My clit didn't care that the wand had the power to turn my brain to mush.

"So skittish," Tor laughed when I jumped at the feeling of the wand's head stroking up my stomach to my boobs. It wasn't even turned on. "But don't worry, my Cat, I like your fear. I want to hear your screams through the gag. I want to watch you cry even as you come for me, until your body, your soul, and every one of your emotions belongs to me."

Goosebumps covered my skin. The low tremor of nerves erupted into something visceral and sharp. I knew the word to use to make everything stop, and yet… And yet, my curiosity kept me silent. My aching, desperate pussy overrode the fear until a cocktail of arousal and panic made me tremble.

"So pretty," Tor murmured, stroking the delicate skin under my eye with a surprisingly gentle thumb. "Your fear is so pretty for me. Look in my eyes, let me see it."

He dropped his hand from my face to squeeze the bulge in his trousers, a grunt in the back of his throat that made me both shivery and hot. I wanted to hear that noise again. Wanted it in my ears over and over.

"No," Tor laughed cruelly when he saw my eyes on his cock. "I know you want my cock, but this isn't about what you want, pussy cat. This is about me, and I want to watch you break apart. I want to crack you in two and see what pours out."

His words made me pull at the ropes binding my wrists, the mix of arousal and fear so thick I could taste it. I jumped when he leaned over my body, but the hot, wet suction of his mouth around my nipple made me groan, the sound escaping around the gag. My arms were starting to hurt where they were pulled above me but with Tor sucking on my breast with hard, powerful drags, I no longer cared. When he repeated the treatment on my other nipple, my eyes went to half-mast. When his hot lips trailed wet, open-mouthed kisses up my chest to my neck, finding my weak spot unerringly, I groaned and my eyes closed, the sensation so damn good that I could stay like this forever.

My eyes flew open when blistering vibrations hit my clit at the same time loud buzzing filled my room. Oh—oh shit.

"Let me see you soak your underwear, pussy cat. I want this fabric so drenched in your need that it's three shades darker."

I whimpered, writhing at the violent stimulation that hit me like a shock to the system.

"Breathe," Tor ordered, scraping my throat with his teeth before his lips returned to the place that felt so fucking good, sucking in hypnotic pulses.

I sucked down breath after breath, and the shock of the wand mellowed into incredible vibrations that shook my whole pussy and hit me with stimulation from every angle. I groaned, sinking back into the mattress.

"That's a good girl, lay there and take it."

My hips jerked. Tor laughed.

I'd never known this side of him, never even glimpsed the cruelty in him, but it hit every dark, secret fantasy I'd nourished for years, and I wanted more. I wanted every slicing comment, every filthy name, every low laugh. I couldn't look away from him, relaxed and cocky and utterly focused on me. I couldn't breathe.

Tor's jaw clenched when he leaned back an inch, danger in the flash of his eyes. "I thought I told you to fucking breathe."

He adjusted the angle of the wand until I cried out, forced to haul in a breath, then another. The breaths turned to moans when his mouth dragged down my chest, teeth scraping around my nipples as he pressed the wand directly over my clit. Like he knew its exact placement even through my underwear. My back arched, moans pouring freely as pleasure pounded through me, building to a destructive point.

I half expected him to rip the vibrations away before I could come, but Tor just smiled as I crashed over the edge, shattering into a thousand trembling, gasping pieces. My eyes slid shut as he took the wand away, leaving me to shudder through the aftershocks. Goddamn.

I protested when his weight slid off me, but he was back only moments later so I didn't bother opening my eyes, another flash of pleasure rocking my pussy when he tugged my left nipple into a firm point.

I was too relaxed, lulled into safety by the orgasm. Cold, searing sensation bit into my nipple without warning, tearing through all my nerves. I screamed, flailing, pulling at every one of my bindings. My eyes flew open in time to watch Torment's smirk form as he watched me struggle and scream.

The flash of silver I'd glimpsed earlier was a fucking nipple clamp, and now its teeth were locked around my nipple, a chain dangling down my stomach. I'd never wished for less sensitive boobs in my life but I cursed them now. My vision wavered with tears.

"Tell me your safe word if you want to stop," he said, but like a taunt, like a dare. When I remained silent, only drooling around the ball gag, he laughed. "You like being hurt too much to stop, don't you, my sick, pretty girl?"

I panted fast, blinking back tears. "No," I said around the gag. I shook my head as he lifted another clamp.

"No?" Tor laughed, his hand skimming my thigh and making me jump. God, even his hand on my knee made my body spark and come alive, and it was insane that it felt good even as my nipple was screaming . "That's not your word, and you know it."

My back arched and I struggled against the ropes when he locked the clamp around my other nipple, my head thrashing from side to side, my whole body fighting against the assault.

"You asked for this, pretty girl," he said with obvious enjoyment as he watched me scream and writhe. "You wanted all of me unleashed."

"I hate you," I tried to say, glaring at him.

My whole body electrified when he raised an eyebrow, the expression on his face deadly. I wanted him inside me right now. I throbbed, ached, pleaded.

His warm fingers skimmed my belly and lower, brushing the edge of my underwear. "Do I strike you as a man who is finished with you, beautiful? Do you think it's smart to look at me like that when I've barely even begun to torture you?"

I bit the gag, my hips kicking, desperation a beating drum inside me.

"Do I?" he demanded, his voice rising.

The butterflies were back. 2 I shook my head, and realised the sharp slice of pain through my nipples had eased, replaced by an overload of sensation.

"No," I replied.

"No," he agreed, brushing the cotton hem of my underwear to dissolve them at the same time he reached for the wand. "You didn't manage to soak the entire fabric, so we'll have to go for soaking the whole bed."

My eyes flashed to his, panic widening them. Tor's sharpened with satisfaction. Your fear is so pretty for me. Look in my eyes, let me see it. I let even more show, let the panic become true, primal fear, and even though we both knew I was acting, Tor shuddered.

He gripped my inner thigh, pressing deep into muscle and skin, as if he needed to hold me down, as if I wasn't tied up at his mercy. The wand returned to my clit with the barrier of my underwear gone, and my gasp caught in the back of my throat. My body erupted in flames, the orgasm so close with the way he looked at me, spoke to me, handled me.

"Oh god," I slurred around the gag, my eyes wide at the sparks shooting through my nerves. So, so good. "Stop. Please."

"No," Tor replied firmly, a darkness in his eyes that pushed me so far over the edge that my whole body arched off the bed, my eyes rolling back. "I decide when to stop," he said when I crashed back to the mattress, trembling and limp. "I'm in control of every fucking part of you."

I could only whine an agreement, teeth biting into the gag when the vibrations continued. My stomach hollowed. Heat gathered, surging, violent. Tor reached up for one of the chains, lightly tugging on the clamp on my nipple, and my mouth hung open, drool sliding down my chin as I shattered for a third time.

"So fucking pretty when you come for me," Tor said, his voice a shiver-inducing blend of cold control and tenderness. He put the wand aside, the vibrations a continued threat, and stroked up and down my pussy with his thumb, making my hips buck at the slow stimulation as I came back down. "I'm gonna need a colour, Cat."

My eyes fluttered, so many sensations warring for my attention—the clamps around my nipples, tugging every time my chest rise and fell; the slow, luxurious glide of his thumb on my tingling pussy; the burning heat where his other hand had come to rest on my knee.

Any sane person would have said amber. A truly well-balanced person would have said red and called it a day. But I was neither. I was desperate for anything that felt good, desperate for Tor, for more, for the blistering pleasure that obliterated not only my anxiety and fear but any memories I had of what scared me. There was no space for real fears when my mind was full of pretend monsters. Tor didn't scare me; deep down, I knew I was safe, and with my colours, I was in complete control. But that was the only thing I wanted to control. Tor could take everything else. Erase every part of me until all that was left was relief and pleasure.

Even with the clamps and the ropes and the dark look in his brown eyes, I didn't hesitate. "Green."