Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Ford

I’d made reservations for two nights later at Blue—a new, high-end restaurant overlooking Lake Montauk. The dining room had dark walls, candlelit tables, and a view that made you forget you were only a few minutes from a highway. Soft music drifted in from a piano in an adjacent room being played by a man who sounded like a young Ray Charles. I’d never taken a date to a place that had slow dancing before.

“Wow. This is really nice,” Valentina said as I pulled her seat out.

Pushing her chair in, from the angle I stood, I could see right down her sexy, red dress. I leaned down, kissed her bare shoulder, and whispered in her ear. “I really love your dress. Especially the view from right here.”

Val looked up and followed my line of sight straight down to her cleavage.

She laughed. “And here I thought you actually liked the dress.”

“I do.” I winked. “I can’t wait to see it on your floor later.”

I took my seat, and the waiter arrived to take our drink orders. We ordered a bottle of the cabernet Val loved, and I deferred to her when he offered a sample to taste before pouring. Watching her swirl the crimson liquid in her glass and raise it to her lips made me realize I probably should have taken care of business before dinner. Even the lipstick mark she left behind on the rim of the glass turned me on. I had to discreetly adjust underneath the table when I imagined what that mark might look like on my dick.

Val leaned in when the waiter disappeared. “What’s going on in that head of yours? You’re staring like you’re deep in thought.”

I swallowed and blinked a few times. “Nothing. Just thinking about a meeting I had earlier today.”

She squinted. “You’re full of shit.”

That made me smile, because I was full of shit. But what I’d been thinking wasn’t exactly appropriate first-date material.

“I was just thinking how gorgeous you look tonight.”

She lifted her wine glass and brought it to her mouth again. I couldn’t wait to taste it on her lips later.

“That’s it?” She arched a brow. “You weren’t thinking about anything else?”

“I don’t think you really want to know.”

“Of course I do. Tell me.”

“You won’t hold it against me if it’s inappropriate?”

She smiled, and a devilish gleam sparkled from her eyes. “Of course not.”

Fuck it. If you really want to know… So much for being a gentleman, then. I waited until she set her glass back down on the table and pointed my eyes to the lipstick marks on it.

I leaned in and lowered my voice. “I was imagining looking down and seeing that mark around my cock.”

Val let out a nervous laugh, and I took a drink from my own glass to cool off. After that, our always-easy conversation felt off. We talked about my week in the city and what she’d been doing while I was gone, but it felt first-date awkward now and not like me and Val. I hoped I hadn’t actually upset her with what I’d said.

By the time we’d finished our appetizers, I needed to say something.

“Did I…take it too far with what I said earlier about the lipstick? I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Val wiped the corners of her mouth with a napkin. “No. You didn’t upset me. You were being a perfect gentleman. I asked you what you’d been thinking about.”

“Then is something bothering you? It feels like something changed after I made that comment.”

Val looked back and forth between my eyes and swallowed. “It’s me. Not you.”

“What’s going on?”

“I’m…nervous…about…you know.”

My brows furrowed. “What?”

She looked around and then leaned in and lowered her voice. “Sex.”

“Why?”

“Because I haven’t…it’s been…I was married for…” She shook her head. “I’ve only ever had sex with Ryan.”

Oh wow.I had no idea. But of course that made sense. She’d been with him since high school.

I tried to make light of it, calm her nerves. “I’m sure it hasn’t changed much. Candlewax dripping, riding crops, all four holes.”

Her eyes widened. “Four? What are the four?”

I laughed. “Relax. I’m kidding.” I shook my head. “Nothing has to happen until you’re ready. So stop thinking about it. You really need to stop overthinking everything and just take things as they come.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay.”

Things felt more relaxed after that. The waiter brought our dinner, and we fell back into our usual, comfortable conversation.

“How are things going between you and Bella?”

“She wasn’t around when I got home today, so I still haven’t seen her since that night. I texted her to check in while I was gone, but I only got one-word answers in response. Fine. Yes. No. Okay. Pretty sure she wanted to add fuck you to the end of each of them, but managed to restrain herself. I don’t get it. She does something wrong, and then she acts pissed off at me, like I’m to blame.”

“She’s deflecting. If she’s pissed off at you, she doesn’t have to look inward. But Bella’s a smart girl. She knows she was wrong.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sure you were no angel in college.”

“That’s the problem. I remember what I was doing at her age.”

Valentina smiled. “I skipped over the years of partying. I pretty much went from playing with dolls to having a real live one.”

After dinner, Val excused herself to go to the ladies’ room. While she was gone, I went over to the piano player and made a request. I guess he hadn’t had many because by the time she came back, he’d started to play my song: “Lady in Red.”

I stood. “Dance with me?”

“I’d love to. But I have two left feet, so I’m not responsible for any injuries.”

Even though it felt completely foreign to take a woman out on a date and ask her to slow dance, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to hold Valentina close. We walked out to the dance floor, and I wrapped her tightly in my arms. She had one hand on my shoulder and the other clasped with mine.

“Did I mention how gorgeous you look tonight?”

“You did. I believe it was while you were looking down my dress.”

“I can’t help myself. I’m just so unbelievably attracted to you.”

She blushed. “Thank you. The feeling is mutual.”

I felt light—not just on my feet, but in my chest and in my mind. If someone had asked me a few months ago if I’d felt like I was in a dark place, I would have thought they were crazy. But we can adjust to almost anything—we start to be able to see in the darkness after a while, find comfort in it, even.

Val tucked her head into my chest, and we glided around the dance floor. It might’ve been the first time I was grateful my mother had forced me to learn how to dance. I felt content, swaying with this woman in my arms.

I knew Val needed to go slow, and even though I hadn’t had sex in a while, that was perfectly fine for me—this feeling was all I needed from her right now.

***

Bella’s car was parked in the driveway when we pulled up. She must’ve gotten off work early. “Do you mind if we check on Bella?”

“No, of course not. But…I’m dressed up. Maybe I should go change first?”

I shrugged. “It’ll just take a minute. She might not even be up.”

Val hesitated but eventually nodded. My sister was on the couch when we walked in, staring at the television. She looked back and forth between us and scowled at me.

“Hi, Val.”

“Hi.”

I shook my head. “You’re going to give me an attitude? Yeah, that makes sense. I was definitely in the wrong for driving to the Hamptons and bailing your ass out of jail. And I should never have stopped a half-a-dozen times so you could puke your brains out. Not to mention, checking in on you all night to make sure you didn’t choke on your own vomit. But sure, be pissed at me.”

Bella rolled her eyes. “Get over yourself. It was one time, and you were far worse at my age. You’re not Dad, and I’m over eighteen now, so you’re not even my legal guardian anymore. I can do what I want.” She whipped the blanket off and stomped to the bathroom. The door slam echoed through the room.

My blood was boiling. “She can’t be fucking serious. If she’s going to act like a ten-year-old and can’t even own up to her mistakes, I’m not so sure she belongs living by herself at college. I still control her finances, and I’ll drag her spoiled ass home.”

Valentina rubbed my arm. “She’s just embarrassed and lashing out.”

“She should be embarrassed.” I walked to the kitchen. “I need a beer. You want a glass of wine?”

“Sure.”

I poured her wine and motioned toward the back door. “Deck?”

She nodded, and I held the door open for her.

I drank my beer while leaning over the deck in silence, thinking.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Val eventually said.

I turned. The moonlight illuminated her face, and it hit me what an idiot I was. I’d killed the mood.

“I shouldn’t have stopped in to check on her.”

“No. You did the right thing.”

I blew out a deep breath and took Val’s hand. “Let’s go back to me telling you how gorgeous you look tonight.”

She smiled. “We can do that.”

I cupped her cheek and leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled back. “Bella’s here.”

I shrugged. “So?”

“What if she sees?”

“Who cares if she sees?” I thought she was being shy, so I reached for her. But she stepped back, out of my reach.

“I care.”

“Why?”

“I just do…”

“Well, I don’t. I’m not going to hide spending time with you all summer. You’re not a dirty little secret, Val.”

“It’s just…inappropriate.”

“Why the hell is it inappropriate?”

“It just is.”

The reason hit me. “You’re ashamed to be with me?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what the hell is it?”

She tried to come up with some bullshit reason, but couldn’t even find one.

I shook my head, pissed off. “Great. I guess you’re not my dirty little secret, but I’m yours.”

“Ford…”

I chugged the rest of my beer. “It’s fine. I’m tired anyway.”

Valentina looked surprised, but said nothing.

“Why don’t I walk you next door?”

She’d told me it wasn’t necessary, but I walked her anyway. After she unlocked the door, she opened it and turned to me. “Do you want to come in and talk?”

I shook my head. “No, thanks.”

“Ford…I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I’m sorry.”

Yeah, me, too. Me, too.

I nodded. “Goodnight, Val.”