Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

N evan… It was Nevan who betrayed me.

He glances up at me with pain in his eyes. A similar pain I have felt since the dark creature was released.

Pain he helped cause.

"Why?" I ask, needing an explanation of some kind. "What could you possibly have gained from releasing that dark creature?"

Nevan swallows hard. "A distraction and time. I just needed time to continue my search and the guards' attention otherwise occupied. I didn't think… I didn't realize…" He shakes his head, not saying another word.

And all I can think is how he could have come to me.

"If you had asked, I would have helped you," I tell him. "But you followed me in secret. You went behind my back, and then you…" I shake my head. "A woman is dead." Visha is…

"I know. I know ." He slams his hands into his chest. "It is my fault, and I will have to live with that."

His eyes grow vacant as he glances away. And I see the guilt and regret and remorse. I see it and I don't know if it is because I hate myself for what happened or because he also shares part of that and reminds me too much of it, but every time I look at him, all I see is Visha's face now. And it may be a selfish need, but I don't want to be reminded of it every time I see him. I will remind myself of it enough on my own.

"I played a part in this too. I also accept that responsibility. But I would advise you to stay far away from me," I warn him before moving back and stepping closer to Kestral, hoping a measure of his self-control and calmness brings some comfort to the thrum of torment rushing through me.

I feel his eyes on me but ignore them to watch Veles step forward. He whips out his blade with a smirk on his face and moves toward Nevan.

Cyra blocks him with a narrowed look. "We cannot kill him, you know that. He is one of the three that holds potential."

I frown. One of the…

"You ruin all my fun." Veles sighs, placing his blade back at his side.

Cyra gives him a pointed look. "I keep you alive."

Veles rolls his eyes at him. "Don't bring rational thought into this. You know it's hard to kill a thief."

A thief?

Kestral glares at them both. "Let's move this along. We need to?—"

"What are you doing here?" Veles asks, cutting off whatever Kestral was about to say.

I glance in Veles's direction to find Oryn rushing toward us, a sword in hand as if ready to fight.

His eyes widen on Veles. "You."

"Me." Veles smiles but it's not a nice smile meant to reassure; rather, it's one meant to frighten. " Again , I will ask. What are you doing here, and with a sword in your hand?"

"What am I doing here?" Oryn asks, looking exasperated. "I came to help, Seren." He points his sword toward me. "I overheard the guards talking and came as soon as I could. But… what are you doing here?" His question is full of ire and accusation, but Veles gives him a bland look, crossing his arms.

"How convenient of you to show up when she no longer requires any help."

Oryn opens his mouth but glances down at Nevan and does a double take. "I— Nevan ?"

Nevan doesn't answer him at first, still lost to his thoughts. "I just wanted to find my wife. I did not mean for any of this to happen."

"Any of what to happen?" Oryn asks, but Nevan remains silent.

Veles takes it upon himself to explain. "Nevan is the reason you were rushing so gallantly to save Seren."

"What?" Oryn asks with a growing frown.

"He ruined her plan and managed to get someone killed," Veles says.

I wince at his bluntness, but he doesn't notice and continues on with his little tirade.

"And all for his own selfish needs."

Oryn opens his mouth and closes it a couple of times before glancing over at me.

"He didn't mean it, I'm sure." He looks to me for understanding, but I have none for him. "We were running out of time. He prob?—"

" We? What do you mean we ?" Veles snaps, taking a step toward him.

Oryn's shoulders drop as he rubs a hand down his face. "It is the entire reason we are here in the palace for the guard's competition. Our females have been going missing."

Kestral, Cyra, and Asra freeze.

"How long?" Asra asks, his tone like ice.

"A few weeks. My sister was taken not long ago, his wife before that, and there have been many more," Oryn rushes to explain.

"We have dark creatures entering this kingdom, missing women, and more. It seems the corruption goes beyond the guard," Cyra says, sharing a look with both Asra and Kestral.

It reminds me of one of the competitors. Sloane .

"One of the competitors approached me after the last trial," I say without thought.

They all turn to look at me.

"He mentioned overhearing something one of the nights. He said it sounded like someone was being taken," I tell them.

"Where?" Kestral asks.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Oryn says, but it sounds more like an accusation than inquiry.

I narrow my eyes on him. "I've been a little busy."

"This is important!" he shouts, his eyes filled with fury.

Veles whips out his blade and has it at Oryn's throat before he can blink. "Speak to her again like that, and I will slice off your tongue."

Taken aback by Veles's warning, it takes a moment for me to reply.

"My own blade works just fine," I tell Veles before glaring at Oryn.

"Of course." Veles merely smiles at me before pulling his blade back. But not before nicking Oryn's neck, making him wince.

Oryn steps back and tightens his hand on his blade. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just… I want to find my sister. She's been gone too long as it is."

Kestral turns to me, ignoring him. "Did he tell you the location?"

"At the end of the bridge. The entrance from the Sidus side," I answer.

Once the words are out of my mouth, everyone is up and moving, heading through the corridors and halls within the palace and straight for the bridge. It's not until we're halfway there that I realize I haven't seen one guard.

"Why aren't there any guards here?" I ask, wondering if they've also noticed it.

Cyra gives me a look. "The royals needed to update them on something important."

"I guess it's lucky we have chosen to go now, then," I mumble more to myself at the strange luck we seem to have.

Veles chuckles but covers it with a cough, while Cyra gives me a patient nod and smile.

I narrow my eyes on them both but choose to ignore whatever they're hiding from me and stay focused on finding more information as we move across the bridge and down the steps to the location Sloane described.

But once we get there, we find nothing. No guards. No women. And after a few minutes of searching, we find no clue left behind either.

We turn, ready to head back, when shadows start to form and someone's shadow jumps right in front of us. His back is to us, so he doesn't notice us as he bends over to catch his breath before turning.

His eyes widen as Kestral grabs him before he can disappear and drags him up the steps, assuring he is within the confinements of the shadow-jumping barrier.

"What were you doing out here?" Kestral asks him with a hint of violence in his tone. The man's eyes are as wide as his fists, and his entire body trembles in fear.

"I'm just a palace guard. I was checking the area. I thought I saw something."

"Lie," Veles shouts.

Kestral yanks him harder. "Lie to me again, and you will pay for it dearly," he growls.

"I would listen to him if I were you," Asra warns.

"Tell us what you know about the missing women," Kestral demands.

The guard's eyes widen even more as he glances between them. He must see the promise of violence in their eyes, as a glint of true fear flickers across his own.

"I don't know where they take them, just that I have to be in a certain spot for collection."

"You kidnap the women?" Asra asks before he pulls him from Kestral's grasp and grabs him by the throat.

"I was told to, or they would kill me," he splutters.

"Another lie," Veles says, narrowing his eyes on him. "Kill him."

" Don't kill him. We need him," Kestral says, giving Veles a sharp look.

"He deserves to die," Oryn agrees, making Veles narrow his eyes on him.

"I agree," Kestral tells him calmly. "But we will never find the other women if he dies."

"We need a plan," Cyra says.

"What do you want me to do?" the guard asks with complete and utter terror in his eyes. "I take females to them, and none of you are…" He glances over and finally spots me.

I guess we have a plan after all.

" T he Caligo don't disappear like the Sidus do when we leave this world," Veles says as we make our way back to the palace. The others have already left with the guard. But after they got what they needed out of him, Veles pulled me aside and asked me to go with him.

I follow him to the gardens and out past it to a little spot full of wildflowers. Every color imaginable. And with the darkness of night and the stars watching over, they seem to sparkle back at us.

It is a small haven I would like to visit again, should I get the chance.

"We bury them." Veles dips his head to the ground, where a small piece of land has been overturned, and my stomach drops.

"Your friend Visha," he says softly, and I glance over at him. "I thought you might like to say goodbye." He dips his head again and moves over to a tree nearby, giving me the space to say my piece alone but close enough should I need him.

And I don't care if it is the blood bond or the beginning of a true friendship; I'm just grateful for his presence right now.

I glance back down at the dirt, and it hits me that she is beneath it. And I don't know why it gives me a small measure of peace, but it does. To know that she is here whenever I need to see her. To plead and beg for her forgiveness.

The Sidus don't leave behind anything. They disappear and rise up. Some say they join the stars and watch over us from above.

I don't know what will happen to me when I die, but I hope wherever I go, I get to meet her again one day.

"I don't have enough words to tell you how sorry I am. You were kind to me when no one else was and found me when I wanted to give up. You renewed my hope for the Caligo and, along with Isolde, made sure I felt it. You brought me happiness in the dark and taught me that I could be who I am and that it is enough. I will be forever grateful for you, for the time I got to spend with you." I glance out around at the world she will no longer get to see, and my eyes blur and burn.

"I do not deserve your forgiveness," I tell her and then stop when a wretched sob pulls from somewhere deep within me and right into the center of my chest.

It pulls and pulls until I have nothing left and my tears have run dry.

As I'm staring out at the world and nothing at all, a hand rests on my shoulder, and I turn to find Veles there.

"Visha was a special woman."

"You knew her?" I ask.

He gives me a sad sort of smile, one that speaks of familiarity. "I have been on the far end of her wooden spoon many times for trying to"—he glances over at me with a wince—" borrow some of her cooking."

I roll my eyes at him, but he smiles with a soft look in his eyes and continues, growing serious.

"The first death is the hardest. But you cannot let it pull you down."

"It is not my first death," I tell him. Nor is it likely to be my last.

"It is the first one you've loved," he says softly, and it makes me pause.

He's right. Visha felt like home to me. Like my mother and Ryuu and Jarek. She felt warm and full of light. And now it feels like it was ripped away from me.

"Does it get any easier?" I ask.

"No," he says with a sadness that makes me turn to look at him. "It's a hole that forever stays with you. And sometimes it hits you out of nowhere and feels like it is the very same day." The grief in his eyes makes me want to reach out and protect him from the pain he must be feeling. And then his eyes brighten, and a shadow of a smile forms as if he can hear me. It grows into a real one, with a sliver of joy in it.

"But then time passes, and you find other things to fill up that hole with. So many things that bring you laughter and joy that, when it hits you again, it doesn't feel as hard. And you get through it."

"You get through it?" I ask him, and no one but he answers.

"Yes. Especially when you have new friends like me who will make sure your days are spent with laughter and games."

"We're friends now?" I ask with a small grin.

"We have a blood bond. technically we're more than friends." He gives me a mischievous smile, and I narrow my eyes on it.

"What does that mean—" I hear movement from behind me and turn around to find Nevan walking over this way.

Veles turns and glares at him and reaches for his blade as he grows closer, but I place my hand on his, stopping him. We don't get to choose who visits her. That is not our decision to make.

I may not want to see him, but he has his own piece to say.

Ignoring us completely, he drops to his knees beside her and bends his head. His shoulders start to shake as I say one last silent goodbye to her before turning around and heading back to the palace.

I still know that I am to blame for what happened to Visha and that I will carry her death with me for a long time to come—maybe always. But for now, at least, I can focus on doing something helpful and make sure another person does not lose their life.