Chapter Sixteen: Aspen

For the first Friday night in years, I was going to spend the entire evening with Jenna. She demanded some girl time and wouldn't take no for an answer. I desperately needed some advice, so I wasn't overly upset to spend my free night away from my own couch.

On my way to pick up snacks for our girls' night, I ran into Tryston. He was busy comparing two different ice-cream brands and just happened to be standing right in front of the black cherry that was my favorite.

I waited patiently for a minute, but then the basket on my arm filled with cookies, candies, and wine started to grow heavy. Switching the shopping basket to my other hand, I took a step closer to Tryston.

"Excuse me," I said nervously, hoping he couldn't hear the tremor in my voice.

"Oh, sorry," he apologized and took a step back.

Quickly, I grabbed the carton of creamy goodness I needed and closed the freezer door.

"Thanks." Taking a deep breath, I thought back to the lessons I'd had with Owen and garnered a bit of the confidence he'd been trying to teach me. We might've decided what we had between us was real, but that didn't mean I couldn't use the new skills just to be friendly.

"Do you need any help?" I asked Tryston, who was still analyzing the nutritional information on the cartons.

He chuckled and admitted that he did. "I'm just trying to see if either of these contain Red Dye 40. I'm allergic." He held out both containers, and I noticed they were plain vanilla. Which was a little boring, though no less delicious.

Leaning forward, I glanced over the ingredients, not finding the offensive additive. While subtly leaning closer, I tried to hide the fact that I was sniffing him, just because I'd always wondered what he smelled like. His cologne was light, almost like the ocean. Nothing nearly as intoxicating as what Owen wore. I wanted to bathe in that scent.

"I think you're safe with either. Though, I particularly like the one made with vanilla bean."

Tryston met my smile and moved toward the freezer. It was when he turned back around that I saw he placed my recommendation back. He didn't seem to notice my disappointment.

"Alice, right?"

"Actually, it's Aspen. I get that a lot though," I lied as I continued to try to hold a conversation with someone I hadn't known my whole life. My frustration was growing by the second at Tryston's disinterest in anything I said.

This was why I kept to myself. Small talk was hard.

"Fun things planned tonight?" he asked, gesturing toward my basket.

"Yeah. Girls' night with my friend Jenna."

"Well, have fun," he said as he smiled and strolled away toward the registers, leaving me standing in the freezer section with mixed feelings.

Back in my car, still confused over the interaction with the guy I had crushed on for a year, I tilted my head back against the headrest. I always imagined my first real interaction with Tryston would leave me breathless, flustered. I'd been building it up like a mountain of attraction that ended up being more like an ant hill. While collecting my thoughts, I received a text from Owen asking if I wanted some company that night. He'd been at the high school gym all day, working with Kelsey. I was sure he was sore and exhausted, but I found myself tempted to cancel with Jenna.

But I needed her opinion.

Declining his invitation, I thought back to Owen's arrival in Ashfield. He'd been here for almost a month now, and I felt like I'd been exposed to all new sides of him. A caring side. A dominant side. An affectionate side. He may have had them all when he grew up here, but I'd never witnessed them. I needed to talk all this through with my best friend, since he and I were truly giving this a go instead of it being all pretend.

Starting up my car, she shuddered a couple of times before the ignition caught, and I headed toward Jenna's.

My friend didn't live far from Rory's house, where Owen was staying. By the time I arrived, I had another message from him saying he was going to hang with his high-school friend, Chris.

Chris Mathewson was the only one of his friends who had always been nice to me, never once joining in on the teasing or antics that Owen's clique partook in. His wife had been the leader of our debate team, and the two of them now had the most adorable little girl. I was glad Owen was taking some time to see his friend. As far as I knew, if he wasn't with me, Owen had mostly kept to himself since being home, besides hanging with his old coach and the neighbor's kid, Roman.

I let myself into Jenna's, carrying my bags over and setting them on her kitchen counter. We were going to order pizza from Angelo's for dinner, but that didn't stop me from pulling out a large spoon from a drawer and helping myself to a dollop of ice cream before I set the carton in the freezer.

"I saw that," Jenna claimed as she stepped from the hall with a mask of pink goop covering her face.

"Just my appetizer," I explained as the doorbell rang. Jenna yipped as she darted back down the hall, leaving me to answer her door.

Thankfully, she already paid for the pizza, and I carried it into her living room, placing it on the coffee table. By the time she joined me with a freshly cleansed face, I poured us each a glass of wine and had our favorite reality show paused on the television.

I rarely had time to watch shows, but she got me hooked on the series now on its tenth season. The show Hidden in Plain Sight followed an A or B-List celebrity as they worked like us common people undercover. Most of the time, the normal people on the show had no idea until the end, but every once in a while, someone would catch on.

This season had been my favorite so far. The celebrity was Chase Duran, one of the most famous action stars in the world and the lead of my favorite movie franchise. He was falling hard for his younger female associate at the library where they worked. She seemed to be clueless. And I was waiting for the episode where he confessed his feelings.

"Oh good, you have the show ready. It's been killing me not to watch the last episode," Jenna told me as she settled on the couch with a slice of pizza.

"I seriously hope he confesses this week. I'm dying to know if she likes him too."

"She has to. What's not to like?"

"True, but I have a feeling Zoey isn't going to care for being lied to, or that he's a celebrity. I mean, Chase has one of the most recognizable faces in the world."

"You're right. Speaking of dating a celebrity. How are things with you and Owen?"

"Good," I replied hesitantly. I'd been trying to come up with a way to ask Jenna for advice about Owen and my non-conversation with Tryston without giving away the fact that Owen and I weren't actually together—except now we were. But we still hadn't talked about what would happen when he left, so maybe we were only together for right now.

Whatever we were confused the hell out of me.

"I like you two together. And so does a lot of the U.S. population," she added as she turned toward her end table. Swiftly, she opened a drawer and pulled out a stack of magazines. As I plucked off the first one, I found my face staring back at me. Grabbing the rest from Jenna, I saw pictures of me ran across all the covers. All with Owen, all with me, but some with Vanessa included as well. It was… a lot.

"What's going on? I mean, I knew we'd probably be pictured in a magazine or two, but I didn't expect them to pit me against Vanessa. She's his ex. It's not like we dated him at the same time."

"Of course they did. Plus, she's pretty famous on her own. But from a poll I took on CelebrityBuzz.com, you are winning."

"Winning what?" I asked as I tried to calm my breathing. It was all too much, too overwhelming. I wasn't anyone important, just someone helping a friend keep his ex off his back, but now it seemed the entire world—not just Vanessa—knew we were together.

"The survey of who is best for Owen. Vanessa's affair has been all over the news, so I'm not surprised. Plus, the tale of you being from his childhood hometown makes your love sort of like a fairy tale."

"Love?"

"Oh yeah. You're totally in love with him. Anytime you speak about him, your eyes light up. And, honestly, this past month is the happiest I've ever seen you."

Am I in love with him?

I couldn't go a minute in my day without thinking about him. And even when I tried to ignore him because I was feeling too much, he was still on my mind. Every time he walked into the room or grazed a finger over my skin, the butterflies in my stomach fluttered like they were caught in a strong breeze.

"Shit," I mumbled as the realization washed over me. I couldn't be in love with him. What would happen when he left?

"What's the matter? I thought this was a good thing."

"He's leaving, Jenna. He has no intention of staying."

"So what? You can break up amicably or try long distance. People do it all the time."

She was right. They did, but I wasn't sure I was built that way. There was a bit of a fairy-tale-loving romantic behind the workhorse image I portrayed.

"Oh!" Jenna perked up and grabbed her glass of wine as she focused her attention back on the screen. "Look, he's in the confessional and is asking the producers to remove the disguise."

The part of the show I'd been waiting for was right in front of me, but my mind was still stuck on the fact that I was in love with Owen Ramsey. The kid who made my school years a nightmare and was determined to beat me at every contest we ever entered together. All those county and science fair ribbons that should have been mine, stolen, all because he knew how to sweet-talk the judges.

"Jenna," I mumbled as I prepared for my own confession.

"Mmhm?" she droned with her interest glued to the TV.

"You know how I thought I wanted Tryston to take my virginity, because he is sort of the perfect guy? He has the stable job, and he's attractive…"

"And you've had a crush on him since he moved to town. Well, when Owen leaves, you can shoot your shot with Tryston. He'd be a great rebound, actually." She rattled on about the perks of using Tryston to get over Owen. Jenna swore rebounds could become a long-lasting relationship.

"Jenna," I tried to interrupt her, and when she continued, I repeated myself until she looked my way.

"I think I want to have sex with Owen."

She stared at me, her eyes wide like a doe's, waiting for me to elaborate. When I remained silent, she asked, "You think?"

Taking a deep breath, I felt my lungs fill while my heart pumped wildly. It was like a drum being banged behind my breastbone. "I know," I decided. "I want to have sex with Owen. I want him to be my first."

With a punch-drunk smile, Jenna toppled onto me in an embrace, miraculously holding her wineglass in the air without spilling a drop as we fell back on the couch together. "Yes! I'm so happy for you!"

Trying to pry myself free from her grasp, I finally slipped out from under her body and fell onto the floor with a thud. "Jenna."

"What? Why don't you look excited? You've finally found someone to give your flower."

"Oh my gosh, could you not be so corny right now?"

She shrugged as she sat up and explained that she couldn't help it. "Anyway, why the upside-down smile?"

"What if… what if I ask him, and he turns me down?"

"Oh girl, you're crazy. Derek and I could feel the chemistry between you two when we went on that double date. He definitely wants to put his bat in your cage."

"That's a terrible image."

"It's all I could come up with."

"So, what do I do if he says no? I'll be so embarrassed, Jenna. I'd never be able to show my face around town again."

"That man is not going to turn you down. But, if you want to guarantee that he pokes you with his Johnson, show up at his place naked. He won't be able to control himself."

I sneered at the thought. Though Owen had seen me naked before, being completely clothes-free while asking him to have sex with me was a whole other ball game. I'd feel way too vulnerable… and humiliated if he said no.

"God, I'm nuts. He's not going to want to have sex with me, Jenna. Have you seen the women he's slept with before? Even when he was just in college and not famous yet, I'm sure he snagged the most beautiful girls. I'm just a way for him to pass the time right now."

All my insecurities rose to the surface, and there was nothing I could do to tamp them back down.

"Don't you dare talk yourself out of it. I believe in you. And for someone in love, you're not speaking too highly of Owen. Do you actually think he'd care one iota about your inexperience or what your body looks like?"

She was right. Owen wouldn't care at all. I wasn't giving him the credit he deserved.

I mumbled to myself that I wished I believed in myself as I got up and refilled my wineglass. Jenna was already focused on the show when I sat back down, and we finished the episode, both of us crying when Zoey turned Chase down because she felt like she'd been set up and duped. Jenna was livid at the woman, but I felt for her. I would've felt the same way.

Luckily, there was one more episode remaining, and I had a feeling the couple would work things out.

Jenna and I got into her king-size bed as she went on about her budding relationship with Derek. She was already head-over-heels in love with him, and I was afraid she'd get hurt, because Jenna always thought she was in love within a few days of a new relationship. But in the end, we fell asleep without me raining on her parade.

The next morning, I slipped out just after 5:00 a.m., because my internal alarm clock refused to let me sleep in most days. Jenna knew I'd be gone by the time she woke up, but like the best friend I was, I made sure to set her coffee pot timer and have a cup brewing for her in a couple of hours.

After cleaning up the bit of mess we left in her living room, I made my way back to the farm. Most people might assume our small town would be dead at the early hour, but it was lively with farmers starting their day. Tractors drove down the roads to get to other sections of their land. Pick-ups carried ranch hands to the market to get supplies. I passed more people at 5:00 a.m. than I would've at 5:00 p.m. as I made my way back to Sunny Brook Farms.

When I arrived at the ranch, I quickly made my way toward my house to change and get to work. Now that the harvest was mostly complete, I was due to ride along the fences surrounding the fields where the crops had been removed. These were where we'd allow Carrie and her herd mates to roam for the next month to clean up before seeding.

Next month, I'd start testing the soil for acidity and pH levels to determine if I needed to swap in some soy to give the soil rest. The farm was in a constant state of rotations to keep the soil and land healthy.

I also needed to check the Ramsey property. The demolition crew informed us that the roof had completely caved in, so no one was allowed inside the building any longer. I'd broken the news to Beverly yesterday, and though I could tell it left her bereft, she said there was nothing on the property she needed.

I wasn't sure how I was going to broach the topic with Owen. I had a feeling he was still reeling a bit about everything he learned regarding the land and its sale. He told me he was thankful we were able to help my mother but that he wished she reached out to him instead. I understood his point. He wanted to help. Beverly had been ashamed though. All she ever wanted was for Owen to live his best life and forget how he'd grown up.

As he and I grew closer, I hoped one day he'd open up and disclose all he'd gone through as a child. I thought it might be a way for us to grow closer. But I wouldn't be hurt if he didn't share. That was a part of his life I was never privy to, and if reliving it hurt him, I wanted no part of it.

Thinking about Owen, I stripped out of my loungewear and quickly replaced it with a pair of overalls, a tank top, and a flannel shirt. With fall making her presence known, the mornings were often chillier than I liked. I was definitely not looking forward to the upcoming winter. My name did not reflect my feelings toward that particular season.

Outside, I headed toward the main barn to get a set of UTV keys. We had a few horses in the stables, but I knew the ranch hands preferred to ride, though I took the opportunity when I had the chance. As I grabbed the keys I needed from their hook, I was surprised to find Andrew working in the small office of the barn. I peeked my head inside and greeted him.

"Good morning."

"Morning," he replied, his voice heavy with sleep. Either he got here earlier than I did, or he'd been here all night.

"Surprised to see you here this early. You've been hanging around a lot more. I'm sure Mom is thrilled."

Andrew was born from my mother's first marriage. His dad died as a decorated soldier overseas, and Mom married my dad when they met by happenstance a couple of years later. My dad loved Andrew as if was his own blood, but sometimes I could see how Andrew held himself back, as if he didn't belong with the rest of us.

"It's nothing. Just getting bored in Knoxville. I've been considering moving back home."

"Oh." That was news. Andrew was known to speak about needing his space and wanting to make his own way. Small-town living wasn't for him. While he worked for the farm, sorting and finalizing contracts, he worked with other companies doing the same. I was secretly envious of his ability to have his hands in so many things and still make time to relax and date. Not that he dated anyone seriously, but he always had a date or a woman he was seeing.

"Any particular reason?" I prodded as I leaned my hip against the old, worn desk that once belonged to our grandfather.

"Well, with you taking over, I figure we need to hire a few other people to manage the books and operations. Inventory. Data. Things like that," he said as he typed away on a laptop and shuffled a few papers spread out on the desk.

"So, what would be my role then?" I asked, crossing my arms tersely against my chest. My words were biting. "Seems to me you'd hire people to do the things Dad does. Don't you trust me enough to do the job I've been given?"

"Aspen," Andrew said through a sigh. "That's not what I meant. The new hires would be to help you so you could focus on the overall picture. That's all."

My eyes narrowed into slits, and Andrew had the decency to look as if he'd been scolded.

"Look, it's been a record-high profit year for us, but also record-high expenses with the purchase of the Ramsey farm. You did a good job finding wiggle room in the budget and inventory to pay for the fences to mark out that property. And Dad mentioned your idea to lease the land to the local cattle farmers. It's a great plan. I just want this job to be as stress-free for you as possible."

There was something he wasn't telling me, but my anger from feeling like no one thought I could do the job made me fist the keys in my hands. The metal would leave indentations in the callused skin once I unclenched.

But he was right that I didn't want all the stresses my dad handled. Now that I had a taste of freedom, I wanted it in spades, but this job just didn't allow for that.

"I wish you talked with me about it, Andrew. I feel you're going behind my back."

My brother didn't apologize. Instead, he went back to work, ignoring me.

"For what it's worth, which isn't much, I think you should move back here," I said as I moved toward the exit. "We all miss you." The door hinges squeaked as I shut the door.

With Andrew's news heavy on my mind, I made my way around the property. Thankfully, Carrie hadn't destroyed any more fence lines. She and Owen must have formed some silent truce during their moment together.

The morning sky quickly turned to afternoon, and the sun warmed up the brisk day. I returned the UTV to the barn and followed the pebbled path back to my house. I took a quick shower and changed into a pair of maroon athletic pants and a matching sports bra and crop top. I knew Owen had a thing for my boots, but I laced up a pair of sneakers. If I was going to visit him during the pop-up camp he put together with his old coach, then I wanted to at least look the part.

After I pulled my hair up into a ponytail at the top of my head, I unlocked my phone and was surprised to find a few messages from Jenna and two from numbers I didn't have saved.

Jenna: Hey, thanks for the coffee.

Jenna: What time did you leave?

Jenna: Don't go on the internet.

Jenna: Aspen, are you okay?

Jenna: Answer me.

Jenna: OMG you're freaking out, aren't you? It's not true. You know it isn't.

Jenna: I just realized you're probably working. Call me!!!!

I was concerned after the multiple exclamation points. Jenna was a little over the top when she messaged but was usually reserved with her punctuations.

Skimming through her messages again, I immediately assumed there was something on the internet pinning me against Vanessa. I remembered the gossip sites doing the same to Colton and Autumn, with whatever women he'd been seen with in the past. The longer I thought about it, the more I realized all my sisters had gone through the same situation. All three married high-profile men with exes they left scorned. It was easy news to pin the new flame against the old one.

I texted Jenna back.

Me: No worries. I'll check it out, but I remember the game these people play. And you're welcome for the coffee.

I hesitated before reading the messages I received from numbers I didn't recognize. Like a kid on the first day at a new school, my nerves were getting the best of me. With shaking hands, I pulled up the first message.

826-555-4324: Hey, it's Tryston. I got your number from the neighborhood chat. Anyway, I was wondering if you'd want to go out sometime.

The old me would have squealed like a schoolgirl if he sent that message a month or two ago. But now? Now, I was… disappointed? He asked for a date in a text. Why couldn't he call me? And to make matters worse, I didn't think I even wanted a date. Not yet, at least. And for sure not until Owen went back to California.

Plus, I had just come to terms with the fact that I was in love with him, even knowing he was leaving soon. I set myself up for heartbreak.

I left the message as Read but unanswered as I moved to the other unknown number's text.

761-555-8963: image>

There were no words but a picture of a magazine cover. In big, bold letters read the words It's back on! with a formal picture of Owen and Vanessa dressed to the nines. From the background, it looked like they were attending a sports award ceremony.

Wondering if Owen had seen the magazine, I saved it, then forwarded it to his number. I didn't expect him to reply, since he was at the camp, but not a moment later, he replied with a short video of a man rolling on the floor laughing.

Owen: GIF>

Owen: Funniest thing I've seen all week.

Owen: You know not to believe that stuff, right?

Me: Yep. Who did the message come from? 761-555-8963

Owen: That's my best friend Marc. I'm pissed someone published this.

Me: Did you give him my number?

Owen: No, but it's not hard to find on the internet, cricket.

Me: Are you ever going to tell me why you call me that?

Owen: Maybe one day. Will I see you soon?

Me: On my way.

My thumbs hesitated over the letters on my phone. I almost typed out the words "love you" but held back. What would he do if I did? Would he freak out? Return the sentiment? Run for the hills? The fear of rejection had me sliding my phone into the pocket on the side of my pantleg and grabbing my car keys. Plus, that wasn't really something I should say for the first time over a text. Like Tryston's date proposal, the thought gave me the ick.

The entire time I drove to the baseball fields, I wondered if it was better in the long run to keep my feelings for Owen to myself. Nothing good would come of it. But then I thought about how I'd feel if I were him. He'd been tricked and lied to most of his life. Other than Beverly, he had probably never experienced a real, unconditional love.

With stunned recognition, I realized I wanted to be that for him.

But I wasn't sure it was in the cards.