Chapter Eleven: Aspen

My entire body shook as I contemplated rushing back out to flag Owen down. I was so new to dating that I didn't know the etiquette for first dates and the bases, but I knew I wanted more from him. The kisses we shared earlier were just a taste of our chemistry, and I needed another. I was hungry for it.

I should've probably worried he'd pull some stupid prank with garlic or fish breath, but even then, his kiss would've been better than any of the ones I had before.

I'd just turned around at the entrance after depositing my bag on the small console table, when Owen stepped inside. He mumbled a few unintelligible words, and then his body was pressed against mine.

My arms instinctively wrapped around his neck as his hands came up to cup my face. His thumbs pressed against my jawline, tilting my head in whichever direction he craved.

I rocked against him as his tongue swirled with mine, feeling the bulge in his pants against my stomach.

"Owen," I whimpered, needing more of… something. Needing to be closer to him.

His lips left my mouth but trailed down toward my jaw and then neck as his hands skimmed over my body, landing on my backside. He squeezed the globes, and before I knew it, he hoisted me into the air. My back landed against the wall as I wrapped my legs around his waist.

I groaned as my center rubbed the zipper of his pants.

"Ah, fuck, cricket," he moaned as he pinned my body against the wall with his hips. One of his hands reached under my skirt and cupped my thin-cotton-clad ass, while the other slipped under my shirt and palmed my breast covered in a soft but plain bra. Even with our clothing still on, I could feel the heat from his skin penetrating the material. "Damn, you feel good."

His lips were back on mine, exactly where I needed him, as he trailed a finger just inside the elastic of my panties. He skimmed just close enough to tease my center, never giving me what I desired.

My fingers clawed at his hair, seeking a way to pull him closer. His body still felt too far away, though a piece of paper wouldn't fit between us.

"I need more, Owen. Please," I begged.

I could feel myself growing wetter with each passing second. I'd never wanted more than a kiss or some light petting with a man before. Not until now. Not until Owen.

His hips rocked into me once more before he pulled back and settled me on my feet.

"Aspen," he hissed as he reached down and adjusted the bulge in his pants. It had to be uncomfortable confined behind the zipper and waistband. "I… need to go."

"Are you sure?" I whispered, unwilling to believe there was a man alive who was willing to stop when a woman's body begged for so much more.

"Yeah. I don't think me staying here tonight is the best idea."

He was right. I knew he was, but my ego took a hit, regardless.

"Okay."

He paused at the doorway, then left without a backward glance. I didn't even care enough to turn the outside lights back on—I'd go without the motion sensor for one night. It would leave me and my scorned self hidden in the shadows, where I felt at home.

I tried not to shed a tear as I got ready for bed. They didn't need to be wasted on Owen and my inability to experience anything further than kissing tonight.

Owen was sweet and attentive the entire evening, but just like every other relationship I'd been in, we never made it farther than second base. There was one singular time I gave Tony DiComaro a blowjob the summer after high school graduation, but for me personally, I'd never felt anything past second base. Which was hilarious in my mind, since Owen played shortstop for the Coyotes. It was like he had been subliminally blocking me since childhood.

If this had been a lifelong prank, Owen definitely had the one-up. Now, I just had to figure out how to pay him back.

***

I made it five days before I saw Owen again. I tried to stay on the farm, and when I had to venture out, I did my best to steer clear of everyone.

My mom had already harassed me about the rumors involving me and Owen. Someone embellished the dating rumor so much that the town of Ashfield thought we were engaged to be married. Thankfully, that gossip hadn't made its way to the magazines… yet.

I didn't pride myself on the fact that the last time I was at Chuck's Grocery, I grabbed the few tabloids that had a grainy picture of Owen and me alongside a picture of his distraught ex-fiancée. She was playing the role of an innocent victim.

I wondered if Owen had seen the articles yet, but I didn't want to reach out to him. I couldn't. Everything that happened Tuesday night left me embarrassed. I wasn't even sure I could follow through with our charade any longer. I could hide at my farm, but Owen had to go back to that life. And if Vanessa was going to play the casualty of their botched wedding, then it was only going to get worse for him.

The magazines sat in a stack on my coffee table, staring at me every time I walked into my living room. Vanessa's watery eyes focused on me everywhere I went. It was like living in my own haunted house.

A knock sounded on the door just as I stepped out of the shower. I spent the weekend mucking the cattle stalls, and surprisingly, Carrie gave me no issues. It was the first time in history.

Wrapped in a towel, I went to answer the door, surprised to find Andrew on the other side of it. A part of me wished it was Owen, but seeing my half-brother was a much-happier shock.

"Andrew! What are you doing here?" I exclaimed as I hugged him with one arm and held my towel together with the other.

"Just returned from California and Florida. Man, I'm beat," he said as he crashed onto my couch. "Maybe I'll stay here tonight. Traveling is exhausting."

Chuckling, I added, "Especially at your age." Andrew had just turned forty-two. Not old by any sense of the word, but he'd been single as far back as I could remember.

"You're hilarious. I'm thinking of cutting back. Talking to Dad about hiring someone to handle contracts. It's just… a lot."

Sighing in desolation, I shifted my towel tighter. "Yeah, I could see that." I mentally added one more thing to my massively overfilled plate.

"You want a drink while I get dressed? I have a beer or two, I think."

"Sure, that sounds good, snowflake."

Andrew called me snowflake since I was born as platinum-blonde "towhead" in the middle of a snowstorm. He was eighteen years older than me, but he was the sibling I was closest to. And probably the only one who understood the pressure of taking over the farm.

As I dashed up to the loft to change, I shouted down to him, "I wanted to talk to you about the farm, actually."

Struggling to pull my jeans up my slick legs, I hobbled around, knocking into my dresser a few times as I explained my thoughts on hiring more staff and freeing up my time. The night out with Owen and Jenna transformed something inside me. It was like I saw a movie playing in fast-forward, and it was my entire life… spent on the farm. I wanted more than that.

I wanted what everyone else in my family had. Everyone else but Andrew. I hadn't quite figured out what kept him single. He was a good-looking guy, objectively speaking.

"We can talk it over with Dad. I heard you had a proposal for the Ramsey land as well."

"Yeah, the stats came back super clean. I think just rotating the plants like we do now would be enough to keep it enriched. One season of cattle grazing, one season of soybeans, then we can plant the corn."

"And how does Owen feel about this?" he asked, as I made my way down the steps to the main floor.

"What do you mean?"

My stomach clenched at the thought of tearing up his family"s land, but it needed to be done. The soil was rich with nutrients, his father must've just mishandled everything he planted. But it wasn't my job to tell him his mother sold it to us. Not that she'd had much choice. Thank goodness my father swept in when he did, because Jim Ramsey had been close to making the entire property a nightmare for Beverly and Owen, from the grave.

"I heard you two were seeing each other."

"We're… dating, if that's what you're inquiring about."

"And does he know we own his family's land, even after he's been sending money to his mother for the last four years, ever since he went pro?"

"No. I just…. I think he needs to talk to his mom first. There's a lot he doesn't know," I said, twisting my fingers together in front of my clenching stomach.

"I agree, but don't let it get back to him that you knew all along and said nothing. He'll blame you, regardless of if you were the instigator."

Andrew was right. Biting my lip, I snatched his beer from my coffee table and took a hearty sip.

"I should tell him."

"No, you should explain to Beverly that you need her to tell him."

Nodding, I gulped down another mouthful before setting it back on the table.

"I like him for you, you know."

"Really? I thought you hate all guys we date."

"As a generality, yes, but Owen's a good kid. I can't tell you how many nights I stayed at the ballpark watching him from the bench with Coach Rudicell long after the practice ended, and then he'd practice with a few younger kids who showed interest."

In my head, I wondered if it was because he hadn't wanted to go home.

"Yeah, he loves baseball."

"Anything he sees worth in, he loves. Sad to hear about his wedding though, but in the end, everything works out, it seems."

"You're being awfully calm, knowing I have a boyfriend."

He shrugged and chugged the rest of the beer. "Mom's making chicken pot pie, and I don't want to be late. You ready?"

"Yeah."

When we arrived at the house, there was a slew of extra place settings, plus an extra table extended off our normal dining table. This wasn't completely abnormal. We always fed the workers and their families during the harvest. And as the groups started to arrive, the space in the open-concept dining and living rooms dwindled into practically nothing.

The workers gathered in clusters. My siblings, their husbands, and the kids collected near the large fireplace, and my parents stood together in the kitchen, watching everyone mingle.

Andrew and I stood off to the side like the outcasts we were. Even though we were together, it felt… lonely.

Mom called out to everyone that dinner was ready. The groups started gathering around the tables. Once we were all settled, I noticed two extra seats, one of them being next to me. Andrew and I locked eyes across the way. I wasn't sure who else we were expecting to dine with the family that evening.

"Sorry we're late," a gentle voice called out as she entered the dining area, Beverly's eyes twinkling with happiness.

Quickly, I spun around in my chair to look at the main hallway. Owen walked in behind his mom, chin tucked toward his chest, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room.

"It's nice to see you again, Owen," my mom said as she gestured to the open seat next to me. "You can take the seat next to Aspen. Beverly, you can join me over here."

Owen lifted his head, and our gazes locked as he walked toward the open chair and sat down. He greeted everyone in our area nicely, then leaned to whisper in my ear, "You've been ignoring me this week."

I had been. Ever since our make-out session on Tuesday night, I made myself scarce. I avoided his calls, cringing whenever his name popped up on the screen. He even tried to track me down on the farm on Friday, but thankfully, I'd been away, negotiating the delivery and pickup schedule for the start of harvest this week.

"I have," I whispered back, as Mom set out the rolls. Andrew snatched the basket off the table the second she stepped away and grabbed two handfuls of the homemade goodness.

"Why?"

Exasperated, I turn to face him, the tips of our noses nearly brushing against each other. "Because I was embarrassed, okay?"

"Nothing to be embarrassed about, cricket."

Across the way, Andrew snickered. "Trouble in paradise?"

"Nah, all is good," Owen replied before I could start verbally attacking my brother. He stretched his arm along the back of my chair, running his fingers along the exposed skin of my upper arm. My body immediately erupted in shivers.

"How's your arm, dear?" Beverly asked from her spot six chairs down and on the other side. Her skin was no longer the ghostish pallor it had been a year ago when she began working for us. Her sunken features had plumped, and she looked the healthiest I'd ever seen her.

"It's healing well. Thank you."

"My pleasure. I'm glad Owen thought to call me."

The table erupted in chatter about Beverly's prior nursing experience, and Dad even asked if she'd want to come assist as a medic on the farm. Owen's mom lit up at the recognition.

Mom and Alex served the individual dishes of chicken pot pie. It was one of my favorite comfort foods. Alex had been toying with my mother's recipe. Though I knew my sister's tasted just as good, something about it wasn't the same, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"This looks great, Mrs. Easterly. Thanks again for having me," Owen said as my mother set his pie dish on his large plate.

"Thank you, dear, but this one was all Alexandra's. I simply watched over."

"Oh. Well, compliments, Alex."

I could tell he was being sincere, but Alex narrowed her eyes quickly before thanking him.

Just as the dinner was served and a family prayer said, the door to the mudroom opened. From my seat, only my dad and I could see the person walking down the hall. Andrew's back was to the new arrival, but I watched, fascinated, as he tensed before a single word was spoken.

"I hope there's room for one more!"

Colton bounded from his seat and wrapped his half-sister in his arms. He'd been in foster care most of his life, never knowing he had a sister. Until she found him five years ago.

"There is always room for you, Sadie. Let me grab another chair." Mom dashed out of the room and returned holding a wooden chair from the formal dining room. "Where's Jacob?"

Andrew's fork clattered on his plate at the mention of Sadie's boyfriend. The two had met on a humanitarian project in South America last year and had been together ever since. She was there studying soils and teaching the civilians to make better use of their land to grow their crops. Jacob had been there providing dentistry services. Surprisingly, he recently moved to Nashville, and the two had been renting an apartment in the bustling city.

"He has poker night with his dad and brothers tonight. So I thought I'd make the trip. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is. We're always happy to have you."

Mom placed the chair at the other end, next to her brother. Colton looked as happy as he had the day Autumn told us of her pregnancy.

When Sadie reached across the table, I noticed a very large, sparkling diamond on her left ring finger. Just as I was about to ask, Rory beat me to it.

"Oh my gosh, are you engaged?"

The striking brunette nodded and held her hand out for all my family to "ooo" and "ahh" over, but Andrew was quiet. I knew he had a special relationship with Sadie. Though many people thought it was romantic, I knew it was nothing more than him seeing her as another sister to worry over.

Andrew always considered himself like a second father to us all. He'd had years to learn and perfect how to treat me and my three biological sisters, but when Sadie came along, she threw his world into a tizzy.

And though there may have been a crush on her end at some point, I knew Andrew would never act on it. He barely got over the age difference between my sisters and their significant others. He and Sadie had a sixteen-year age gap.

Nudging Andrew's foot under the table, I whispered, "Everything all right?"

"Of course." He smiled, but it was forced. Something was going on with my brother, and I was determined to get to the bottom of it.

During the meal, I tried to add to the conversation flowing around the table but was always ignored or spoken over. Something I was all too familiar with. Even Sadie and Owen were able to get a word in edgewise.

As I was pushing the peas, my least favorite vegetable, around my plate, Owen seemed to pick up on my dejection.

He reached under the table for my hand, intertwined our fingers, and rested them gently on his thigh. I looked up at him, but his face never steered away from the conversation he was having with my brother-in-law Talon.

I'd never had my hand held like that. Not even the date who took me to the movies for a matinee showing.

It felt foreign, strange, but I never wanted him to let me go. I squeezed his hand softly, letting him know I appreciated his attention, and he broke his discussion to face me and smile.

For the rest of the meal, Owen held my hand the entire time. I wasn't sure if it was for his comfort or mine, but it was nice to have someone seemingly on my side. A few times, I caught Beverly's eye, and I silently begged that she explain everything to her son. I wasn't sure what his reaction would be, but I knew he'd approach me about it, regardless.

"Dad, have you given anymore thought to the data I gave you?"

Andrew caught the tail end of my question and gave me a look. Pure panic and fear bubbled in my stomach, hoping he wouldn't bring up what I told him earlier. Of course, it was my fault for saying anything in the first place, and now I couldn't back out.

I wasn't overly religious, but a guardian angel must have been on my side during the exchange of looks, because suddenly Owen's phone rang, and he left the room to answer, explaining it was his trainer.

With whatever spare minutes I was granted, I gave Dad the lowdown about how Owen was in the dark about all of it.

"You need to tell him," Andrew reiterated from our first conversation about the subject.

"I will if I have to, but again, I don't think it's my responsibility."

"Do you want me to talk to Beverly?" Dad asked, but I could tell he was wary about it.

I couldn't understand why she held back. Were there deeper secrets that forced her to withhold the information? Either way, Owen was going to find out soon, and I felt like I was going to take the brunt of the blame.

"No, I'll talk to her and give her a deadline. But if I end up having to break the news, then it might help to have you there."

"Okay, I can do that for you. And I think your data, along with the budget proposals, are solid. I'll have Andrew look them over, and we'll work up some of the contracting changes."

"The goal is to get the fencing in before the first snowfall, then, in the spring, lease the land."

Minutes passed, and Owen was still missing, but my dad and Andrew began collecting plates while I waited to pull Beverly aside. It would be difficult to broach the topic with her, but I was tired of being in the middle. And with the harvest starting up, my focus needed to remain on that. The next month was going to be chaotic.

I wasn't even sure how I'd have the spare time to keep up the charade with Owen.

When she ended her conversation with Autumn, I asked her if we could speak privately for a moment. Thankfully, no one paid us any mind as I pulled her toward the back hallway.

"Beverly, I really need you to speak to Owen about the land purchase."

"I know. Owen may hate his father, but… it's the only thing the two of them did together. You know that's the only time Jim showed pride—whenever Owen would win a county fair competition and beat out everyone else. Those were things he grew up doing with his dad. I know Jim wasn't perfect, but there are still good memories there."

I snorted. "Nothing Jim Ramsey did was on the up-and-up. You and I both know that. Remember those years something mysteriously went wrong with our small garden?"

"I'm not saying Jim was an angel. He was the devil in human form. But I…." She looked down at her twisting fingers, then back up at me. I'd never noticed the two of us were almost the same height, and it made me remember how small and frail she had been when we saw her right after Jim died. He'd put her through hell 'til the very end. "I'm making excuses. You're right. I need to tell him, especially with you two together. He's going to be upset that you didn't say anything."

"Probably, but I can handle him. I have been since we were six."

She smiled genuinely. "I like you two together. Whenever you two were competing at the fairs or just making each other miserable in school, your mother and I always talked about how cute you two would be as a couple."

My heart twisted. None of it was real, even if my stomach clenched whenever I watched Owen walk into a room. I blamed my social anxiety for the feeling. It had nothing to do with an attraction toward the man. At least not a mutual one. Because what in the world would the Owen Ramsey see in me?