Chapter 3

3

R ush stood by the printer, waiting for it to finish. When he was younger, he'd had plans for his future, for his life, but then his parents had stepped in, and here he was. Raising his girls and making sure they had a good home now took priority. It also meant Rush had never been with anyone other than the girl's mother.

He tended not to think about her. At all. The fact they'd probably paid her to sleep with him, get pregnant, then leave said everything he needed to know about her. He had his girls, and he would make sure they had everything they needed in life.

But what about him?

Sighing softly, he watched the paper move through the printer, his mind drifting to Raydon as it often did in times like this. A demon. He knew very little about them, and now he was a mate to one. The limited information he did know made him hesitate. Living longer than normal was enticing, but at what cost? Seeing his daughters grow, become women, then mothers, then watching old age and death take them from him? He wasn't sure if he was strong enough to go through that.

"Rush? It's your lunch break. What are you still doing here?" Sharon asked. Rush liked her. She always had a pen or pencil in her hair, her glasses perched precariously on her nose, and an easy smile for everyone.

"I wanted to finish this, then I'll go."

She wagged her finger at him. "Make sure you do. Those girls of yours need a father who can take care of them. Not someone who doesn't look after himself. Who would take care of them if you were ill?" She pointed to the door. "Go. I'll put these on your desk."

Rush smiled and nodded. "I'll grab my bag now. Thanks."

"Pfft. Go and take your lunch." Sharon gave him a gentle nudge toward the door. Rush went to his desk, grabbed his lunch bag, then went outside. It was a warm, sunny day, so Rush walked to the small park across street and sat on one of the benches.

Sax called just as he pulled his sandwich out, and he answered as he bit into it. "Are you eating?"

"Lunch."

"You didn't tell me how your date with Raydon went. Details!" Sax demanded.

Swallowing, Rush licked his lips. "Did you know demons live longer than us?"

"Nope, but that's a good thing, right."

"They live a lot longer, Sax."

"How long are we talking?"

Rush put his sandwich down and people watched. "Long enough that the girls would be long gone."

"Oh."

"Yeah. It would mean I'd be alive and well to bury them and maybe their kids and their kids. That's how long we're talking. I can't do that. I can't watch that happen."

"No," Sax murmured. "What are you going to do then? You're his mate. You know how that works for him."

"I know, and I told him I couldn't do it." Rush bit his lip, remembering the way Raydon had left. "He didn't stay long after that. I feel bad for hurting him, but I have to…" Rush rubbed his chest when it tightened. "I can't do it."

"What are you going to do then? You'll feel the pull as well. It won't be as bad for you, but it will be there. No matter where you go or who you have a relationship with, it will be there. I've heard of people saying how it clouded all future relationships when they refused to mate."

"Shifters refusing to mate?" Rush had never heard of that before. What he'd been told was when a shifter or vampire found their mate, they tended to get the mating over and done with. The only time they waited was when their mate was human.

"It rarely happens, but it has in the past. Look at Manu and Preston. Two men who shouldn't be mates but are. Did I tell you I saw Manu giving Preston a blowjob behind Emilio's shop? They couldn't find somewhere more private. He has a nice dick, by the way."

"Preston?" And that put another thought into his head. One he'd been firmly ignoring. "I've never had sex with a man."

"Go slow the first time; I'm pretty certain Raydon's had sex with a man before. Demons are more fluid in their attraction. Kinda like shifters—the sex of the person is only part of it. They have a connection, then they go from there."

"He'll want me to do things," Rush whispered, eyes scanning the surrounding area to make sure no one was close by.

"You mean like suck his dick? Yeah, I'm guessing he will. Pretty much all men like getting their dicks sucked. Make sure he's clean. No one wants a cheesy knob in their mouth."

Rush gagged and pushed his cheese sandwich away. Wonderful. Now he'd lost his appetite. "That doesn't make the whole sex part appealing."

"If he goes slow and does it right, you'll enjoy it. Trust me."

"Never thought I'd have this conversation with you," he mumbled. Heat flooded his cheeks, but he ignored it. He needed to know these details if he decided…shit. His head was a mess.

"I'd suggest porn, but some of the stuff out there is pathetic. Makes you think you just stick it in and fuck away. Doesn't show the actual process. Some men like a little pain with the pleasure, and it can be great, too, but others, especially those who haven't had anal sex before need to be stretched and well lubed."

Rush squeezed his butt and nibbled his bottom lip. "It hurts?"

"It can, but if the person you're with takes his time, then the pain isn't as bad, and it doesn't last long. Jim takes his time with me, so it rarely hurts."

"You two fuck all the time."

"True. My man knows how to fuck. Not denying that, but he takes his time when I let him. Some days, you just wanna good hard fuck, and you will, too, if you're with someone who knows what they're doing. Raydon probably does. How old is he?"

"I have no idea. What if I'm a baby compared to him? What if he has lived for hundreds of years already, and I'm like this child to him?"

"Ask him."

"I already told him no," Rush murmured quietly.

"You know you can change your mind, and I'm pretty certain he'd understand. Jim did, and look at us now. We're solid."

"I've heard," Rush told him dryly. "The walls weren't solid enough."

Sax rolled his eyes. "Like I just told you, my man knows how to fuck, and I'm sure yours does, too, so talk to him in private. Tell him how you feel. If it helps, maybe send him a message to make it easier when you finally see him."

"When did you get so understanding?"

"Pfft. Bitch, please. I'm having an adult moment. It'll go soon, and I'll be back to annoying my younger brother."

"Dick."

"Cock."

They both laughed, then Rush asked softly, "What if I can't?"

"Can't be with him? Some plus points to being mates: he'll never cheat on you; he will always consider your needs, wants, desires; he can communicate with you telepathically, so you're never truly alone even when there is no one there. And the sex is phenomenal."

"I'm not sure I'm at the sex stage." Rush bit his lip again. Every time he thought about Raydon's dick in his ass, he shivered, and he wasn't sure if it was from fear or desire.

"You will be. Remember I told Jim no, and he still mated my ass? I was so pissed."

"I know you threw him out naked. I wish I'd been there to see it." That would have been awesome to watch.

"It was fun, but we got over it, and now we have amazing sex. Go slow and trust him. He's been waiting for you for a long time. He won't want to fuck this up. Get him to suck your dick a few times. You know, as a test run. If he can suck, he can fuck."

Rush burst out laughing. "Really?"

"Fuck no, but it sounded good. I was with this one guy who sucked like a hoover but shot his load, like, two thrusts into fucking me. Shame, because his mouth…hmm mmm." Sax sighed dramatically, and Rush laughed again. "I have Jim now, and he regularly fucks me into a coma. Love that scabby dog."

"Fuck, Sax. Don't let him hear you say that. What am I saying? He does hear you say that!"

"It's a thing between us. Now meet Raydon and talk. Talk to him about everything." Rush heard the sounds of voices, and Sax said, "Gotta go. Speak later."

Rush put his phone away and picked up his sandwich, then put it back again when he had a vision of a cheesy dick. "Thanks, Sax."

Raydon suddenly appeared across from him, and Rush hesitated, then waved. Raydon walked over to him and nodded. "How are you?"

"I'm good, thanks. How are you?"

"I am also good. And your daughters?"

"Cranky. I think Erin has a tooth coming in."

"I see. We give our young soft, cold food items to chew."

Rush nodded. "I've been told about a few that help. Are you going in for a meeting?"

"No. I wanted to see how you are. As my mate, it is important to me that you and your daughters are well."

"We are. Are you well?" This was such a stilted conversation, and Rush had no idea how to change it. Hadn't he asked this already? "I've been talking with Sax."

"Your brother."

"Yeah, about us and everything."

Raydon pointed to the seat next to Rush, and he nodded. After sitting, Raydon asked, "Did it help?"

"I guess. We talked about sex." Rush lowered his eyes, ignoring the heat building in his skin.

"I have had sex with males and females. But since we met, there has been no one. Once we mate, there will only be you for me."

"I have never…" His phone beeped, and Rush scowled at it, then realized it was his alarm, letting him know his lunch break was over.

"I am aware you have no experience with a man. I will make sure you enjoy our time together." Raydon stood and picked up Rush's bag for him once he'd packed everything away.

"I have to go back to work. Can I talk to you again?"

"You can always talk to me. I am your mate. I am there for you whenever you need me."

Rush nodded and took his bag from Raydon. "Thanks."

"You are welcome."

Rush jogged back to work, and once he reached the door, he turned to look back at Raydon, but he was already gone. At least they'd talked, and it had helped in a small way. When it came to sex though, Rush needed to look into it. If he did mate Raydon, he needed to know what he was doing.