25. Alik

25

ALIK

T he look on her face hurts the worst.

My feet dangle off the dock at the lake house, a mere inch above water that reflects the moonlight. Although I sit in silence, without even insects that have disappeared for the winter to keep me company, my head is loud with Olive’s voice.

Don’t touch me .

As if I’d burned her. Her fearful eyes reflecting my image back to me was the only indicator that she wasn’t in fact, staring at a monster.

I lost her. In an instant, I lost her.

I should’ve told her the truth when we were on this deck last night. Maybe then she would understand, she’d have allowed me to explain.

I am not a good man. I believe I’ve said that to her more than once. At one time, it was my mission to hurt her. My duty to hurt her. I am a soldier for the Bratva, a weapon, a tool. Call me whatever you want, it all means the same. I was loyal to my orders, to my Pakhan.

Now… I’ll kill them all if it means keeping her safe.

How could she not know? How could she not see that anything I’ve done in the past isn’t who I am now?

I could never hurt her.

I close my eyes and run my thumb and forefinger across my lids, stress aging me ten years. Footsteps sound on the dock, but I don’t turn around. I already sent Fox away. If it’s another brother here to kill me, he can have his shot.

“You holding down the fort?”

A sigh rushes past my lips as I lower my hand from my face.

Roman .

He comes up beside me and sits, tilting his head toward the night sky. “Jesus, that’s a lot of stars.”

“What do you want, Roman?”

In my periphery, I see Roman turn his head to me, but I don’t meet his eyes. I stare at a ripple in the black water and watch the moonlight shimmer off it.

“Sergey left me a voicemail claiming he found the DEA Princess’s things at this address. Now he isn’t calling me back.”

“Hmm.”

“You think her Italian boyfriend got to him?”

I keep my stare pointed at the water where the ripple was, watching it still. “Probably so.”

“That’s too bad.” Roman sighs. “I’m sure Sergey left the bastard no choice.”

We sit in silence for a long time, both of us staring at the water. I get the sense that Roman is waiting for me to come clean, and I wonder if it wasn’t Olive he came looking for but me.

“How long have you known?” I ask at last, turning to face him.

He takes a deep breath like he’s pondering. “Since the very second I heard news that she’d been rescued from a hit.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

His lips twist like he’s contemplating that. “You want the truth?”

“Would I ask for a lie?”

He smirks a moment then drops it. “It was cute watching you go rogue. And for love , no less.” When he smiles mockingly, I face the water. “Plus… I think it’s time we started looking out for each other. Don’t think it isn’t unintentional the way Nikita pins us against one another. There’s a reason I knew it was you who spied on me. He wanted me to know. So that I won’t trust you.”

I scoff. “You understand I killed two made men, right?”

Roman shrugs. “Soldiers.”

“I’m a soldier, you idiot,” I grind, my jaw clenched as I turn to him, my hands preparing to clench.

Roman’s eyes slowly lower to my hands before moving back to my face. He reaches into his pocket while I stiffen, preparing to strike, but he just pulls out a pack of gum. He removes a piece for himself then offers the pack to me. I say nothing as I keep my narrowed eyes trained on him.

Hiking up a shoulder, he puts the pack away then unwraps his piece. “I like that you aren’t such a pussy with me,” he says, popping the piece into his mouth then chewing obnoxiously. “Yes sir, no sir,” he mocks in a flat tone, his hand to his forehead in a salute. He laughs and shakes his head. “It shows our bond.”

“We—”

“Just shut the fuck up,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Look, Sergey and Pavel could take care of themselves. They tried to kill your girl, and you killed them for it. Too bad for them. Are you feeling guilty over this?” He laughs and looks around. “Is that why you’re sitting out here by yourself, sulking like a fucking crybaby?”

I don’t respond, instead opting to stare ahead. Maybe if I stop talking, he’ll leave.

His amusement seems to die down. “That isn’t it, is it?” He twists his body to look behind him at the house. “Oh… Is she…?”

I shake my head. “No… Just gone.”

He nods slowly and faces forward. “Sorry, man.”

I run my hands over my face and lean forward, my thoughts racing. “I’m going to find a way to get Nikita out, and then I’m going to leverage it to get him to let her live. It’s the only thing that makes sense anyway. Now that he’s been arrested, it would be insane to kill the SAC’s daughter. The Bratva has to lay low.”

I lower my hands to the dock and turn to Roman. “I want you to have my back.”

His stare lingers on me a few seconds before he nods. “Okay.”

My mouth opens to thank him, but movement behind us pulls my attention that way. Olive stands a distance away by a tree, a box in her arms. She darts behind the trunk when she seems to realize I have company.

Roman’s brows raise. “I guess you still have some things to work out.” He turns to me and gives my hand a shake before getting up and leaving, keeping a safe distance from the tree as he goes. As soon as he’s gone, Olive’s form reappears.

I can tell by the sway of her hips and the pity on her face that it isn’t really her. It’s the other one.

But she still has Olive’s face. Her gorgeous eyes. Her soft skin. She still smells like her as she kneels behind me with the box, eliciting me to pull my legs onto the deck and turn. She’s so much like Olive that pain twists my chest at her phantom love, yet not enough like Olive to fill the hole that’s opened inside my heart.

“Hey,” Not Olive whispers, her lips tilted in a sympathetic smile.

“Hi.”

She lowers her eyes to the box and lifts out a stack of photos. “I thought you might want these.” She hands me the stack, and I slowly flip through it.

It’s exactly what she’d described. Me dragging a body, putting it in a trunk, driving away. She documented me well.

A quick glance into the box shows more of the same, along with the letters and journals she spoke of. It’s all here.

“Why are you giving me this now?” I ask, my eyes roaming over the evidence.

“Olive doesn’t need it anymore.”

I move my eyes to her in time to see her frown.

“I know you both think I’m crazy, but it’s only ever been my intention to protect her.”

Her perfect eyes shine with sincerity as she lays her palms on her thighs. So much like Olive. Yet so different. But … I believe her.

“I know.”

Her lips part and eyes bulge like she’s surprised by my acceptance, and she lets out a sigh of relief while running her hand down her neck. “I’m not going to stay long.” She sounds pained. “I know Olive wouldn’t want me to, and her parents will notice she’s missing soon.”

“She’s at her parents’ house?”

Not Olive widens her eyes and looks down at herself pointedly.

“I don’t mean right this second.”

She nods. “Yes, she’s staying there. She’s sad, but… I don’t know if it’s my place to say this, but…” She pauses and clears her throat like this is difficult for her. “Alik, I thought we would be great together. I thought… I didn’t think you and her would be a good match and that you were just a fantasy for her… But I was wrong. She loves you. She truly, truly loves you. And I know that you truly love her, so…” Not Olive slaps her thighs and clears emotion from her throat. “I’m not going to get in the way anymore. Here are your things.” She pushes the box toward me. “At the bottom, you’ll find everything you’ll need for your … leverage that you talked about. I trust you with it, and I trust you with Olive… I hope you’ll be happy together.”

Not Olive stands and wipes dirt from her pants.

“I’m afraid it’s too late for that,” I say, my shoulders slumped.

Not Olive tilts her head and looks at me like I’ve missed every clue in the mystery novel she’s written just for me. “It’s never too late.” She turns and takes several steps down the dock before pausing. “Oh, and just so you know, you need to watch your back around those Irish assholes. Olive’s dad has been working for them for a while now.”

She gives me a small wave and sad smile before walking away.

“Hey!” I call after her. She pauses once again and turns. “What is your name?”

She smiles and shakes her head. “Olive never gave me one.”

She lifts her hand in a goodbye gesture as she leaves. Once the headlights of her SUV shine in the distance, I look down at the box, letting the moonlight illuminate it.

The Irish…

I shouldn’t be surprised. It makes the DEA targeting us make perfect sense. They’re cowards for using the DEA, but I should expect nothing less of the spineless bastards. Not everyone lives by the code of the Bratva.

But how have they gotten Olive’s father on board? I’ve dug into the man as much as anyone could. He’s clean. He’s never taken a bribe in his life.

Putting that aside for now, I pull out the contents in the box until I find a bloodied knife in a Ziploc bag. The blood isn’t fresh. Its dark smear is crusted like it’s been dried for a while.

I pull out a disk next with the message, “play me alone,” written in Sharpy. And then I put it together.

Not Olive brought me the evidence of my crimes … and evidence of hers.

She wants me to use it against her father.

The knife in my hand, I lift my head up to peer out at the water. I wonder… Did the Irish perhaps do the same? She had a boyfriend connected to the Irish, one she killed.

Did they find out? Are they blackmailing her father?

The timeline seems to add up. I look back down at the knife then pull it from the bag before wiping off the prints and tossing it into the lake.

Next, I crack the disk into pieces and toss it in as well. With a lighter to the photos, I watch the ashes rain down onto the water, swallowing up my crimes along with Olive’s.

I don’t know all the details of what went on between Arthur Solace and the Irish, but I know what I have to do. I may never be able to fix things between Olive and me. But I can fix this.

I can keep her safe.