Norsuk

As Agatha slumbered beside me, my heart swelled with a bittersweet ache. She had been right to disdain me, to push me away after my despicable actions. It was a miracle she"d come back to my arms at all. A gift I vowed never to take for granted.

But even as I reveled in her soft warmth, her sweet scent, a leaden sorrow dragged at my soul.

Sleep eluded me, my mind spinning with possibilities and regrets. The portal room loomed large in my thoughts, an inescapable specter. If my speculations were right, I could find a way to use it to return her to Earth. To the life she"d been ripped away from.

I could still see the G'zanta tumbling through that impossible window, suit icing over in the merciless void. It wasn"t a safe passage by any means. But the creature had made it through, even if his final destination was... final.

A sudden peep broke the heavy silence, startling me from my troubled thoughts. One of the little lizards had wandered into our room, its bulbous eyes catching the wan light. Irritation surged, irrational and outsized. As if the creature had deliberately interrupted my brooding.

Extricating myself carefully from Agatha"s embrace, I snatched the offending reptile from the floor. It squirmed in my grip, tiny claws scrabbling. For a petty moment, I wanted to crush it. Punish something, anything, for the anguish clawing at my chest.

But I couldn"t be that man. Not anymore. Not when a far better one slept peacefully mere feet away, her love a balm and a benediction. So I merely flung the lizard out into the hall, hearing it skitter away with an indignant squeak.

"Something wrong?" Agatha murmured as I slid back into bed, voice muzzy with sleep.

"Just a noisy peeper," I assured her, tucking her more securely into the curve of my body.

"Did I check the spaghetti?" she mumbled nonsensically. "Where"s Rufus? Here, boy!"

A smile tugged at my mouth despite the lead in my gut. She was precious, even in slumber. I wrapped myself around her, savoring the pliant give of her curves, the satin warmth of her skin. But not even that cherished contact could lull me under. Not when my mind churned with visions of the machine a scant few floors above.

I couldn"t stop speculating. Couldn"t stop agonizing over the prospect of letting her go.

I don"t know how long I lay there, staring sightlessly into the gloom. But when Agatha finally stirred, turning to face me with a drowsy sigh, it felt like a small eternity had passed. Guilt twisted in my stomach at the concern creasing her brow, the question hovering on her pursed lips. Even mired in heartache, I hated to worry her.

"What"s the matter?" She cupped my jaw, thumb grazing my cheekbone.

I captured her hand, pressing a fervent kiss to her palm. "Nothing. Just thinking."

Agatha searched my face, far too perceptive for my peace of mind. "Everything will be okay," she said softly, no doubt meant to be comforting. "We can get through it."

But that was the crux of it, wasn"t it? I wasn"t at all sure I could get through losing my mate. The very idea made me want to break something. Rend and rage and fall to my knees, begging the uncaring universe for a different path.

Tamping down on the storm of emotion, I affected a calm I didn"t feel. "I think it"s time to get out of here."

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Do you think you"ve found a way out of this cavern?"

Grief closed my throat, forced the words out clipped and hoarse. "No. That"s not how we"re leaving." I met her gaze squarely, unflinching. "Not how you"re leaving, anyway."

Comprehension dawned slowly, chased by a flare of alarm. She pushed up onto her elbow, searching my face. "What do you mean?"

In lieu of answering, I swung my legs over the side of the bed, snagging a few purple fruits from our dwindling stash. We ate in tense silence, the normally sweet flesh turning to ash on my tongue. But I choked it down anyway, knowing I"d need my strength for what was to come.

At last, I couldn't delay any longer. Standing abruptly, I threw on my shirt and trousers, hardly noticing as Agatha did the same. "We"re going back up to the portal room, aren"t we?" she asked, resignation thick in her tone.

I merely nodded, not trusting my voice. Silently, I held out my hand, an unspoken entreaty. After the briefest hesitation, she placed her palm in mine, fingers interlacing. Her skin was cool and slightly clammy, betraying her unease. But the contact grounded me all the same, an anchor against the tempest raging in my breast.

Together, we retraced our steps. It felt like walking through a dream, or the watery unreality that came with too little sleep. For a dizzying moment, I wondered if I hadn"t imagined the whole thing. If I"d wake any second in our cozy nest of blankets, Agatha snug in my arms.

But then we mounted the final spiral of stairs, the door to the portal room looming before us like the gate to some immense and implacable machine. There would be no waking from this dream. No escaping what had to be done.

Selecting a suit at random, I unhooked it from its peg, running my hands over the complicated rigging. Sockets for life support hoses, banks of controls clustered around the crystal disc. Switches studding the breast panel, tools and tethers clipped to the gleaming belt.

I flipped the suit around, prodding at the flat expanse of the life support pack. "I"ve done some EVA," I said absently, mostly to myself. "Our ship isn"t exactly in mint condition. Pretty sure this is the battery compartment."

"Batteries?" Agatha sounded intrigued despite herself. "I never really thought about spacesuits having batteries. Just air tanks and stuff."

I shrugged. "Need a lot of things to keep a body going in hard vacuum. Lights, heaters, CO2 scrubbers. Electromagnets in the boots, so you don"t drift." I held up the suit, pointing at the empty slot. "See anything that might fit? Should be roughly rectangular. Two contact points."

Agatha cast about, opening random drawers and cabinets with an air of grim determination. After a moment, she made a soft sound of discovery, turning to present me with a flat, dual-pronged object that did indeed resemble a caricature of a battery. Its gunmetal casing was limned in strobing telltales, incomprehensible pictograms dancing across the flickering screen.

"I think this is it," she said, handing it off gingerly.

I examined the odd little device, tracing a finger over the diamond-etched serial codes. Good a guess as any. Bracing myself, I slotted it into place, feeling it click home with an audible snap.

Instantly, the suit came alive in my hands, servos whirring and status lights erupting in rainbow chaos. Agatha stepped back, startled, as the helmet"s visor glowed an eerie green. The rebreather cycled with a pneumatic hiss, making us both jump.

"Looks like it"s working," I said, not a little unnerved myself. "Now what? Obviously, I can"t cram myself into this tiny thing."

Agatha nibbled her lip, her gaze darting between the humming suit and the ramp leading up to the portal platform. I could practically see the wheels turning behind her eyes, that agile mind racing along some intuitive track.

"Right now," she said slowly, brow creased in thought, "I don"t think we need to worry about the suits themselves. You"re thinking there might be other controls built in, right?"

Grudging approval tugged at my mouth. She"d always been quick on the uptake, able to follow my leaps of logic—and add her own to the pile. "Exactly. If a lockpick can be rigged to a utility belt, who knows what else might"ve been modded or jerry-built?"

Agatha squared her shoulders, something resolute settling over her fine-boned features. For a moment, backlit by the portals" eldritch glow, she looked fey and strange. A creature of mist and magic, ephemeral as a half-remembered dream.

"Well then." She turned smartly on her heel, boots ringing on the scuffed metal of the ramp. "Let"s see what we can suss out, hmm?"

I followed more slowly, slinging the spacesuit over one shoulder. From this angle, I couldn"t help but notice the sweet curves of Agatha"s backside, the shift of muscle under clinging leather. A familiar ache fisted beneath my breastbone, fierce with longing.

The thought of the coming loss was a barbed hook behind my ribs, a dull blade sawing at my guts. How much worse would it be when she was gone? When all I had left were memories and the ghost of her scent on lonely sheets?

Ruthlessly, I tamped down on the spiraling despair. Now was not the time for wallowing. Not when we might be on the cusp of the breakthrough Agatha so desperately needed. I had to be strong for her. Had to see this through, no matter the cost to my own bleeding heart.

The portal room looked much as we"d left it, screens cycling their disorienting vistas in perfect, clockwork harmony. I busied myself hanging the suit on a nearby hook, then grabbed one of the helmets littering the floor. No sense in wasting any potential leads.

"I"m not sure what we"re looking for," Agatha admitted, frustration leaking into her tone. She ran a hand along the suit"s marred chestplate, fingers tripping over switches and dials. "If I had to guess, I"d say any portal controls would be separate from the standard rig. Modular, so they could swap out components as needed."

I nodded, pleased she"d come to the same conclusion. "My thoughts exactly. So if not the suit proper, then..."

"The utility belt," we said in unison.

Grinning, despite myself, I unclipped the sturdy webbing, laying it out on a nearby console. Agatha crowded close, the heat of her body searing through my clothes. The sweet, sleep-rumpled scent of her filled my head made my hands itch to touch, to grab, to claim.

Clearing my throat roughly, I forced my attention to the eclectic jumble of devices studding the belt. Some I recognized easily enough—a holster for a standard-issue blaster, loops for various hand tools. The electronic key with its snaking data tether. A few sticks of what might generously be called "ration chow," if you enjoyed chewing on flavored plastic. And there, nearly hidden in its own discreet pouch...

"What about this?" I fished out a boxy gadget, no larger than my palm. Its casing was an eye-searing shade of emergency green, in sharp contrast to the suit"s more muted navy tones. On one side, a single prominent switch jutted from the molded grip, practically begging to be flipped.

Agatha frowned at the innocuous little device. "It doesn"t exactly match the overall aesthetic. You think it might be an add-on? Something they rigged up special?"

"Would be my guess. If these portals are meant to be accessed remotely, stands to reason each species might have their own protocols. Unique equipment." I turned the gadget over in my hands, studying it from all angles as if it might suddenly reveal its secrets. "Hell, for all we know, this whole setup could be millions of years old. Eons beyond us in terms of technological development. Forget finding replacement parts—we barely comprehend its purpose."

"Oh, I"m pretty sure "spying" is somewhere in the mix," Agatha said darkly. "Guess we"ll never know for sure until..." She gestured at the switch, a clear invitation. "Go ahead. Let"s see what happens."

Stomach twisting with equal parts anticipation and dread, I threw the switch. And for a long, anticlimactic moment... nothing. No walls grinding apart, no eldritch portals snapping to attention. Nada.

But then the floor shuddered underfoot, a subsonic rumble I felt in my back teeth. Gears shrieked in rusty protest as a hidden panel dilated in the center of the floor, perfectly mirroring the oculus high above. A low dais rose from the opening, and atop it squatted an incongruously mundane console, all sleek chrome and exposed circuitry.

"Another tremor?" Agatha asked, pitching her voice to be heard over the growing cacophony.

"No, look!" I had to shout to be heard over the grinding of tortured machinery. The dais was still rising, belching steam and sparks as it locked into its fully extended position.

The module was semi-circular, the center hollowed out to accommodate a single standing pilot. Jutting from the burnished sides were two elongated handles, their grips organic and skeletal. They put me in mind of a pair of mangled hands, reaching up from the grave.

"It only has eight switches," Agatha observed as she climbed onto the dais, brow scrunched in confusion. "And look—six are lit, but two are dark."

Following her up, I saw she was right. The unlit keys corresponded to the lightless panel in the portals" arc, its surface a disorienting void that seemed to swallow illumination. A chill finger walked down my spine at the sight, some primal part of me balking at the sheer unnaturalness of it all.

"If I had to guess," I said, dry-mouthed, "the dark keys probably control that... portal? Screen? Whatever you want to call it." I nodded at its strobing counterpart, which now showed a dizzying starfield streaked with the bright lines of distant galaxies. "And the lit keys let you flip between the active feeds."

Agatha shot me a querying look, then visibly steeled herself. "Only one way to find out." And before I could stop her, she jabbed one of the unlit keys with a decisive stab of her finger.

The wall-rattling groan of tortured metal filled the chamber, setting my teeth on edge. But it was nothing compared to the unholy light now pulsing from the awakened portal. Searing, brain-meltingly bright, it stabbed into my eyes like twin icepicks, blotting out all thought. I threw up a hand to shield my face, spots dancing in my vision.

"Yikes!" Agatha yelped. The light cut off abruptly as she released the key, leaving only its afterimage burned onto my retinas. She stumbled off the dais, arms wheeling for balance.

When it stopped, the screen, the portal, continued with the appearing and disappearing spots of white.

"What are we supposed to do?" she asked.

I looked at the opening of the module. On each side, something like handles jutted. They were not suitable for hands like ours. But with the empty space pointed at the screen, there seemed only one logical way to proceed.

"Let me try something."

I backed into the space. It was snug for me, my shoulders touching the sides, my wings pressed against the back. Flexing my fingers, I grabbed the misshapen handles.

Another tremor shook the building. My fists tightened on the grips.

"Aah!" A tremendous shock shot through my body.