24. Skylar

24

Skylar

Janu funeral rites are private, so I waited until after they interred the fallen Janu to seek out Ehan Janu Yar. Hopefully, she will accept my condolences in the spirit they are meant. My heart aches for them after learning of the tragic death of one of their own.

I find the senior Janu in a small alcove, gazing out a porthole with sadness in her crimson eyes. She startles when I approach, then recognizes me.

"Hello, Skylar," Yar says. "I am sorry, but I am not good company right now."

"There's no need to apologize," I reply. "I only wish to offer my condolences. I know what it's like to lose someone close." I still feel the loss of my parents. And I feel the distance between myself and my sister Ishini, who I can only pray is still alive.

Yar nods, blinking back tears. "We feel her absence. Losing a Janu is like losing a part of ourselves. The ship reaches out looking for a Janu to fill the hole in our being, and now with Apprentice Janu Kil'hya having fallen ill, we shake from her absence as well."

"I can only imagine," I reply gently. "Your bonds must run so deep."

"They do," Yar says. "We are all connected. When one of us is lost, it leaves an emptiness within us all."

Yar looks back out the porthole, her crimson gaze distant. "We say that when one of us departs, our bond stretches across the stars, eternal and unbroken. It is meant to comfort us, but right now that stretch feels so very far."

"I wish there was more I could do to ease your grief. Just know that she will always be with you, in spirit, if not in body. Her memory lives on in you."

Yar lets out a long hiss. "Your words are kind, Skylar. I apologize that I cannot be better company right now, but please know that I appreciate you being here."

On impulse, I take her hand. A spark passes between us, and I can sense Yar's grief swirling within me. I gasp in surprise. It is the first time I have touched the skin of a Janu.

Yar gasps, looking at me with wonder. "I thought you might have the gift!" she says. "But I did not expect it to manifest with such speed!"

I can hardly hear her over the hum of the ship and a whisper in my mind. Something like an embrace. I'm not sure how I feel about it, having this entity in my mind. I try to pull my hand away, but Yar holds tight. "Starshadow has reached for you."

I feel a profound sense of connection with the Janu and the ship, as if someone has lifted a veil from my eyes to reveal a deeper truth.

I have felt a kinship with the Janu ever since we were first introduced. This is a step further, and I can't believe it's real. That the ship wants me.

We stay joined a few moments more, our energies intertwined, before Yar lets go my hand. "You will need further training," she says. "The bond is fragile, but true. You will return."

"I want to help, if I can," I tell her. "You know I'm familiar with old navigation systems. I could use that to help plot courses and take some of the burden off you and the others."

Yar's eyes widen. "Perhaps. But the fact that Starshadow has connected with you is astounding and much more important." She pauses, closing her eyes, taking my hand again, and I feel others, the whisper of powerful minds moving through me.

"Janu Aet'heryanis has told me to share the coordinates to the repair hub with you. We do not know what took our sister from us, but it is organic. You are human and may be immune. If so, you can be of aid to us. But first, you must learn as for Janu coordinates are felt, not seen."

"Really?" I am stunned, not sure how to respond.

"Yes, with your knowledge, if we become desperate, you can use it to translate it to old tech."

"Thank you for trusting me," I say.

Yar manages a small smile. "You have a Janu spirit. We welcome your help, and you are kinexus , one of us. "

I leave Janu Yar feeling a renewed sense of purpose. For the first time since coming aboard the Starshadow, I can contribute something beyond being able to see their enemies. I have a place here now. Not just in Tan's arms, but with the ship and crew as a whole. And knowing this, I feel as though I have finally come home.