Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Alice

"Piper, why are you in the water with your clothes on?" Nikki slurred.

My eyes fluttered open, and I shielded my eyes from the sunlight streaming through the roof.

"You're in a potted plant, Nikki, not the water," Pipe laughed.

I groaned, and I slowly sat up. I didn't need to turn to know that Wrecker was sitting on the lounger next to me. His disapproving glare was very loud.

The second Mango Dragon had done me dirty.

Nikki sloppily waved at Pipe. "You are so silly," she slurred. "I'm floating down the Nile. There aren't any bushes in the Nile." She smiled wide. "Except my bush." She burst into a fit of laughter and fell out of the pot. Good for the plant she was clinging to, not so good for Nikki's butt.

"The Nile?" King laughed from somewhere to my left. "I don't know if you guys are high or drunk."

Meg groaned next to me. "We hereby dubbed the lazy river the Nile River," she explained. "And you need to know I don't do that wacky weed. Lo and I agreed that I'm crazy enough without drugs. Drugs would land me… somewhere," she sighed.

"In jail," Snapper and King called in unison.

"Was that before or after your second drink you decided you were floating down the Nile?" Wrecker drawled.

Meg held up one finger but quickly added a second. "Two," she chirped. "It had to have been two, though it could have been three, but I'm pretty sure Brandon left the booze out of three."

"Anyone wonder who Brandon is?" Pipe asked.

"Uh, that would be me," a young guy called. The decorative grass wall parted, and a probably college-age kid appeared. "I did, in fact, cut them off after two, but since they mentioned you guys were coming later, I just let them try to sleep it off. They weren't hurting anyone. Well, the bush might be a little worse for wear, but it's hearty. You wouldn't believe the things I've seen happen to that bush."

"Appreciated," King called.

"A hefty tip is headed your way," Wrecker added. "Anyone who manages to corral the girls deserves either a tip or a medal of honor."

"I'll take the tip," Brandon laughed. "Can I get you guys anything?"

"A round of beer," Snapper called. "On me." He handed Brandon a few bills. "Keep the change."

"Why are you all in the Nile?" Nikki cried. "I can't float with all of you so close to me," she whined. Nikki might have been the drunkest of us all.

"Dear god," Snapper laughed. "She was literally sitting in the pot of a bush. How does she think she is in the water?"

I circled my finger in the air at Snapper. "Shouldn't you be somewhere with your pregnant lady?" I asked. The word lady sounded funny coming out of my mouth. "Laaaady," I drawled like I was Jerry Lewis reincarnated.

"Lady!" Nikki called.

"Ladies all over," Meg laughed.

"Lady!" we cheered in unison.

"What in the hell is going on?" Wrecker laughed. "I don't know if we should try to catch up with you guys or just carry you to your rooms."

What was going on was Meg, Nikki, and I were drunk with a big ol' capital d. Hell, you could probably capitalize all the letters, and we would still be drunker.

Just straight up DRUNK off whatever magic booze the Kalahari was pumping into their drinks.

I struggled to stand and managed to get my feet under me without falling. "I think… I think…"

Wrecker reached out and snagged me around the waist. He pulled me onto his lap, and I laid my head on his chest. "I think you just need to rest, babe."

"Are you mad?" I whispered.

"If I got mad every time you and your girls got drunk, babe, we wouldn't be together." He brushed my hair off my forehead and pressed a kiss to my cheek. "The first time I met you, you were drunk."

I sighed and snuggled into Wrecker. "You're were so hot and nice. So nice, I curtsied."

"How did you find us?" Meg asked. "And what time is it?"

"Alice was smart enough to tell me what cabana you guys were in."

I reached up and patted Wrecker's cheek. "Always need to let my man know where I'm getting toasted at." I swept my arm wide. "Do you like our commode?"

"Cabana," Meg howled. "It is a cabana."

"That's what I said." Didn't I?

"Isn't a commode a toilet?" Nikki asked.

Of course, she would be coherent enough to remember what a commode was.

I closed my eyes and tried to stop the room from spinning. "Take me drunk, Wrecker, I'm home."

"I'd like to think you guys will learn from this, but I think we are way past that ever happening." Snapper saluted to King. "I'm going to head up and check on Lennox to see if she's still worshiping the porcelain god."

"Take her some ginger ale," I called. "That was the only thing that could calm my stomach when I was pregnant."

"And some crackers," Meg added.

"Cheese," Nikki called.

"Babe," Pipe drawled. "I don't think cheese is the best thing to eat when you have morning sickness."

Snapper shook his head and waved. "Later," he called as he headed down the path.

Nikki pouted out her bottom lip. "Oh, I thought we were ordering more food."

The grass wall parted again, and Brandon appeared. "Can I get you ladies anything to eat when I bring the round of beers?"

"Cheese!" Nikki called.

"Slice, melted, stick, or curd?" Brandon asked.

"Curd," I called.

"And some more nachos, beef this time, chicken tenders, French fries, and two of those big ol' pretzels," Meg rattled off.

"You got it," Brandon called.

"The service here really is top-notch," Meg sighed. "I'm so glad we got this cabana."

"Can I get some fruit and a big ol' slab of cheesecake, too?" Nikki asked. "I love me some cheesecake."

"Yes, to the fruit, but I don't have any cheesecake," Brandon called from the other side of the grass wall.

"You think that dude just sits on the other side of that wall listening to us?" I asked.

"More than likely. He knows where his payday is coming from," Wrecker laughed. "The more you guys order, the bigger his tip is going to be."

Wrecker was not wrong.

"Meg makes the best cheesecake ever," Pipe announced. "You guys will have to visit sometime so you can have it."

"Oh," I called. "We should run to the store and make it in the…" My words trailed off as I remembered what happened with the banana bread. It turned out delicious, but the long lecture I got from Wrecker about electrical safety was not something I wanted to do ever again. "We will totally have to come visit the Devil's Knights clubhouse."

"And then you guys can take a pole dancing class." Meg smiled proudly. "Indiana is the best pole dancer."

"I can't tell if she's drunk rambling or if she actually knows someone named Indiana." Pipe crouched down and finally helped Nikki off the floor. "Up you go, baby." Nikki teetered and faceplanted into Pipe's chest.

"She's actually making sense," King laughed. "Not only do we have a garage, we also have a strip club/bar, and a pole dancing studio."

I raised my hand. "I am totally down to twirl around a pole."

"As long as you're not drinking," Wrecker grunted. "No broken bones."

I rolled my eyes and tugged on his beard. "I'm pretty sure I am going to need a few drinks in me to even get close to the pole."

"Oh, please," Nikki called. "Just imagine it's a cow, and you'll be riding it like a lawnmower."

"A lawnmower?" Pipe asked.

Nikki buried her head in Pipe's chest. "I'm drunk," she moaned. "Stop expecting me to make sense."

"Fair enough," Pipe grunted.

"Keep the expectations low. And for the record, I haven't ridden any of my cows," I laughed.

"Sure," Nikki drawled.

"How long do you have this cabana for?" King asked.

"We're shutting the waterpark down," Meg called. "I've got this puppy until nine."

"That… is a long time from now," I laughed. I wasn't sure what time it was, but it was still daylight out.

"Uh, yeah, babe. I'm not sure everyone will want to be staying down here that long," King agreed.

I was about ten minutes away from passing out for a few hours. As comfortable as it was to snuggle up with Wrecker on the chaise lounge, I knew our bed in our air-conditioned room would be much more comfortable. "Uh, I'm in for some food, and then I think I need my bed."

"Here, here," Nikki agreed. "I think the Nile has conquered me, and I need me a laydown."

"Fine," Meg sighed. "You party poopers can go to your rooms, but King and I are going to get every penny I paid out of this commode." She shook her head. "Cabana."

A few minutes later, Brandon brought two platters filled with every snack a drunk person could want: cheese, carbs, and grease.

I promptly ate half a pretzel, a handful of cheese curds, and all the fries. Yeah, I was a fry addict.

Wrecker managed to stand while holding me, and we headed out of the waterpark and up to our room.

I groaned once he opened the door and tossed me on the bed. "I know we normally get frisky when I'm drunk, but I'm pretty sure if we get this bed a-rockin', the pound of fried food I ate is going to come a-knockin'."

Wrecker pulled his shirt over his head and fell into bed next to me. "We'll try the rockin' later, babe. I need a nap, too."

I snuggled into his chest and sighed. "I know I never like to say we're getting old, but honestly, it kind of rocks getting old. When we were younger, there was no way we could get drunk, eat a ton of food, and then be in bed by four in the afternoon."

"Yeah," Wrecker agreed. "The Alice from twenty years ago would have been calling for a rally already."

I groaned and closed my eyes. "No rally for me. My butt is going to stay in this bed until morning and the brunch buffet calls me."

Wrecker pressed a kiss to my head and grunt, "Deal."