Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Alfie Scott

I wasn’t hungry the next morning, so while the kids had breakfast in front of the TV, I went into my study to sort out my thoughts. I’d slept like shit, twisting and turning all night, and regardless of how West and I had left things yesterday, I had to text him.

I wanted to get it all out and, this time, for my sake too. So that, one day, I could move on. Whenever that might be.

I sat down on the edge of the bed and opened my phone.

Within seconds, my knees were bouncing, and I didn’t know what to type.

Yesterday, I’d stupidly thought I could cover everything in the right order, but of course West would butt in with questions that took us down another path. It’d been one hell of a web I’d weaved.

“Daddy, can I have more cereal?” Ellie hollered.

“One part cereal, two parts milk—go ahead!” It was best to remind her of our rule. Otherwise, she’d do a tablespoon of milk and two cups of Cocoa Puffs. “Trip, can you help her, please?”

“Yeah!”

“Thank you, sweetheart!”

I released a breath and planted my elbows on my knees.

Okay, back to the order of my fuckups.

If I knew West, he was at the golf course now, and that meant I could ramble in peace without him interrupting. I could call with an emergency, but text alerts were muted.

Here goes.

Hey. Considering the clusterfuck yesterday, I wanted to get this out. It’s mostly for my sake. I don’t want you to form your final opinion, no matter how bad it is, until I’ve said my piece.

Everything in LA was real, West. I never once lied intentionally, and the only thing I genuinely didn’t think of was my history. I fell head over heels in love and knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Eventually, I got to introduce you to my mom and dad, the two people who’d raised me and turned me into an okay guy.

You were my world. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I fleetingly thought, someday I’ll tell him Dad adopted me. But I swear, it was such an insignificant thing. Millions of people grow up with parents who aren’t theirs biologically. It wasn’t a big thing for me. But then we went over to your parents’ house, and I’m sure Bob can tell you the rest.

After that, I did actively hide my heritage. I promised myself to never tell you the truth, mostly because I didn’t want anything to come between us. And this was, in my head, a nonissue lie. But I understand if it’s a big deal to you. I also understand if you don’t believe me since I reconnected with Kellan when we moved. He offered me a job, and the money was good. I wanted to contribute and not be seen as some low-life loser standing next to you, which, in retrospect, didn’t work out. I couldn’t very well be honest about the money I earned, because then I’d have to tell you what I did. And I didn’t have the balls to.

Last but not least, you were right. I did change. I wanted your family to like me, so I became some fucked-up version of who I thought they would approve of. And at some point, I let that bleed into our relationship. I’m so fucking sorry about that. I’ll regret it for as long as I live.

In my defense, I did try to bring up some of these issues with you. I knew many of your mates and colleagues didn’t like me—at least on your floor. Funny how I always got along with the sound guys and crew on the show. But you dismissed that, West. Please admit that you did. Same with your family. You know deep down that I never fit in, and your family didn’t want me to. So yeah, I changed. I became defensive and on edge, and I’m sure it affected us as partners. I’m sorry about that too.

From now on, I will always be me. I’ll be honest enough to say I’m nowhere near ready to tell you I want you to be happy with someone else. But it’s what you deserve. You deserve a man who won’t drive you crazy with his split-personality problems.

Consider me cut out of your life. My only demand, and it is a demand, is that you trust me to be a good dad to our children. I’ve never once given you a reason to doubt my parenting skills, and that includes my priorities. Their well-being and safety are everything to me. Every choice I make in my personal life or at work or whatever, I do with them in mind.

I pressed send on the last message and immediately pocketed my phone. I didn’t wanna reread it or see if he’d read any of it yet. I wanted to push it all out of my head and crawl under the covers and die.

I sniffled and took a deep breath.

It was done.

That chapter was closed.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, baby?” I glanced at her in the rearview.

“Are you not happy today?”

Well, fuck.

I forced a smile on my face. “What’re you talkin’ about? I’m always happy.”

She lifted her brows at me. “Not when I don’t wanna go to bed.”

I chuckled and switched lanes. “Maybe not then. You give me a lot of grief.”

“What’s grief?”

“It’s like Daddy West’s gray hair but in your heart,” I explained smoothly. “I’m too young to have gray hairs, so you put them in my heart instead.”

She snickered. “I don’t get it.”

Eh.

“You know what,” I said. “It’s probably because I didn’t sleep well last night.” In the end, I didn’t want them to doubt their own observations. “Maybe that’s why I don’t seem happy. I just need a nap.”

“Nap time is boring!” Ellie argued. “I think you need a donut. Donuts are the best. Daddy thinks so too.”

Yeah, she and West were the donut fans. Trip and I were mildly obsessed with ice cream instead. We had a whole shelf dedicated to ice cream toppings at home, from chocolate chips and cookie crumbs to jimmies and sauces.

“Ice cream is better,” Trip said matter-of-factly.

“Preach, son.” I nodded.

“Oh! Don’t we drive here when we go to Daddy’s?” Ellie pressed her face to the window.

I chuckled. “Pretty much. We’re just going a bit farther today.” We were heading out to Villanova, which was a step up from Ardmore.

I’d seen a picture of Finn’s house, and it was…grand. Like, three stories of colonial luxury all the way through. An actual estate with its own cul-de-sac.

“I have a question,” Trip said. “Can we have dinner with Dad sometime? All of us together like we did before Christmas?”

Shite.

I shouldn’t be surprised by his request. It came from time to time, from both of them.

Around holidays, West and I made an effort to do something with the kids as a family, as a united front, but it was fucking rough. Every time it happened, it was so clear that Trip and Ellie wanted us that way. The first year following the separation had been hard on them, and they were just now getting used to having two homes.

Maybe we could find a compromise. Instead of going to some resort where we slept in separate rooms anyway, we could just meet up for dinner in the city or catch a game. Going to the movies would work too. In the past, we’d tried to do it up big, like go away overnight. Vacations had been important to us. We’d loved spontaneous adventures. Last Christmas, we’d had two days in New York.

“I’ll talk to Dad,” I replied. “Maybe he can come with us to the festival next week.”

“I want that!” Ellie exclaimed. “And, Daddy, you promised to get your face painted with me.”

“Of course we’re getting our faces painted,” I said. “I think I’ll make a cute butterfly.”

That made both of them laugh.

Ten minutes later, we arrived on Finn’s street, and it was one millionaire estate after another.

I could never feel at home in a neighborhood like this. West’s area was bad enough. He’d wanted a bigger house when we’d started our search, and I’d kinda flipped my lid. To be fair, at the time, we’d shared a two-bedroom in Pacific Palisades in LA, and it’d been fancy enough in my eyes. Then West had mentioned four or five bathrooms, and I’d been like, what the fuck? We didn’t all need our own bathroom. It was fucking nuts. But that was how he’d grown up.

As I stopped in front of the gate, Ellie gushed over the house, and Trip said he hoped the pool was nice.

I shook my head to myself and rolled down the window. When I’d been their age, I’d been happy to run through sprinklers or go to a public pool.

I pressed the button, and within seconds, a male voice that didn’t belong to Finn filtered through.

“Hey, it’s Alfie and his two hellions,” I said.

We were buzzed in, and the wrought-iron gate opened slowly.

I drove up the driveway, passing three expensive cars. I recognized Kellan’s R8. The garage off to the side was closed, and it had four separate garage doors.

That part didn’t surprise me. Since I’d started working for Kellan, I’d learned they loved cars. As in, they went to car shows all over the world. What they did there was anyone’s guess, and I had a handful. Last year, Kellan had divulged a tiny bit. He’d had me schedule sit-downs for the “crew they were sending to Geneva.”

The Sons might be quick to give someone a chance, but they weren’t quick to offer up details or information. I’d been in the dark for months initially. On a need-to-know basis. And frankly, I didn’t need to know a whole lot when I managed Kellan’s schedule. I had a brain full of names and ranks, but it wasn’t like I knew what was discussed at sit-downs.

I parked in front of an Aston Martin and made sure to tell the kids to be careful.

“We break, we pay,” I added.

It’d been a genius idea on Kellan’s part to imply I had to bring my kids, because it kept most of my focus on them—rather than on the fact that I was meeting Liam Murray in a matter of seconds.

What would he be like? I’d seen photos of him, of course. I’d probably seen him with my own eyes when I was a kid too, though I obviously couldn’t remember.

I knew we shared some traits. He was a few years older than me, and the concept of having a big brother was laughable. I’d always been alone. I’d asked for a baby brother one time, and it’d taken me years to understand that there were several reasons why they’d opted to stay at one kid. Ma had finally met a man she loved with all her heart, and she wanted to spend time with him. Dad had worked way too much, running his construction business, so it was a timing thing too. Money, of course. Kids weren’t cheap.

Today, I could sort of understand it from their perspective. They’d given me everything they could, and now they had the time and money to be selfish.

They liked to go to Atlantic City and Florida on the weekends. Dad loved to fish. Ma loved the penny slots.

Personally? I wanted shit big and loud.

After grabbing the bag I usually packed for our beach days, I ushered the kids toward the main door at the front of the house. Maybe they used the same gardening service as West.

I’d been clueless about what to bring, because in my family, you brought food. But since I didn’t know how many would be here, I’d ended up buying a bottle of wine for only Emilia O’Shea. Finn could take the joke. To put up with him, she needed a drink every now and then. Right?

We had no time to ring the doorbell before a burly man opened it and eyed me up and down. The guy who’d buzzed us in, maybe? We looked to be the same age.

“Hello, is Daddy’s cousin home?” Ellie asked.

I chuckled.

“Aye, they’re all in the back.” Okay, so he was legit Irish. Accent and all. “I’m Colm.” His name was very familiar to me. He worked closely with the O’Sheas, and he was in charge of security. He shifted his gaze back to me as he opened the door wider. “You come heavy?”

What the fuck? To a barbecue with children all around? No, I fucking didn’t.

“Uh, no.”

“Good.” He jerked his chin, gesturing for us to go in. “Patio access through the kitchen past the staircase.”

He seemed fun.

I decided we could become best friends later instead. We weren’t vibing at the moment.

Okay, this house looked way better than the one West and I had bought. I’d expected white and sterile but was greeted by a foyer in rustic colors and family pictures everywhere. No fucking marble, just wood and warmth.

And music. They were blasting Dropkick Murphys out back, which instantly put me in a good mood.

“Oh my gosh, it’s a party, Daddy,” Ellie whispered excitedly.

Past the big staircase, we veered right into a large kitchen, where the decorator had been inspired by the French countryside. The island was packed with food.

A beat later, a young woman walked in from the patio, and she smiled warmly.

“You must be Alfie!” She poked her head out the patio doors again. “Finnegan! Alfie’s here!”

I glanced out the kitchen window above the sink, but it only offered a glimpse. Big backyard, big pool.

“Momma!” someone screamed.

“Daddy, look at me now!” another hollered. “You too, Grandpa!”

“I’ll be right back, baby—okay, fine,” the woman laughed. It had to be Emilia. “Come here.”

In the meantime, I dug out the wine and hoped I didn’t make a fool of myself. I couldn’t say I was too nervous, but I wasn’t unfazed either. A lot was riding on this, and I knew the importance of collecting brownie points with Finn’s wife.

Within seconds, Emilia had a bouncing toddler on her hip, and she came over to us.

“Finnegan’s manning the grill, so make yourselves comfortable—and there’re drinks and snacks on the patio.” She extended her hand to me. “It’s great to meet you, Alfie. I’m Emilia.”

“Hi!” The little boy waved.

“Hi, little man.” I smiled and shook Emilia’s hand. “Great to meet you too. This is for you. I was thinking—considering who you’re married to…”

She laughed and accepted the bottle. “This is perfect. Thank you very much. I’m gonna tell him what you said, of course. I love to mess with him.”

Okay, I liked her.

She wasn’t done. She set the wine on the kitchen island before she shifted her focus to my kids.

“Let me guess,” she said pensively. “You’re Trip, and you’re Ellie.”

So Kellan or Finn had talked.

“Yeah. Hi.” Ellie became shy, which would only last a second or two. “Are you also Daddy’s cousin?”

I chuckled and planted my hand on the top of her head. “She’s Finn’s wife, baby girl.”

“Oh. Okay. Are there any girls here?” Ellie asked, eyeing the boy Emilia was holding.

“We’re very outnumbered by boys in this family, but I’m working on it.” Emilia gestured toward the patio doors. “Our only daughter’s glued to her phone most days. She’s asking for more girls too. Nessa is here, of course. I think you’ll like her, even though she’s older.”

Shit. I didn’t know Nessa was gonna be here. She was Liam’s baby sister.

“Let’s go check out the pool and say hi to the others.” I nudged my two in the direction of the patio, and Emilia smiled and said she’d be back soon.

“The shit food is almost done, kiddos!” I heard Finn yell. “If you want a hot dog or a burger, line up! Cory, you can’t fuckin’ eat that! Step away from the rosebushes!”

What was wrong with hot dogs?

“I like hot dogs, Dad.” Trip looked up at me.

“Because they’re awesome. We’ll get you to that line.” I kept him and Ellie in front of me as we stepped out onto the massive patio that housed both a lounging area and a dining area. Christ, they had a lot of space.

Goddamn, I should’ve said pools, as in plural. They had an actual in-ground pool for kids. This round little thing at the end of the main pool.

“Oi! Look what the cat dragged in!” Kellan smirked at me and raised his beer. He was standing by the barbecue area with Finn.

The older guy at the table was Shannon O’Shea, Finn’s old man and Kellan’s husband. And there we go. Liam Murray was just leaving the pool with two kids. I counted at least half a dozen kids, all boys. One man I didn’t recognize. Two girls catching sun—probably Nessa and Autumn.

“Okay, we’re all here!” Finn announced. “Kids, come get your hot dogs and burgers. We have ketchup and a bunch of other shit, but you only care about ketchup anyway.”

“Nuh-uh! I like relish, Daddy!” one boy shouted across the pool. It had to be Ryan. If I remembered correctly, he was five or something like that.

A lot happened at once, enough to overwhelm even me, and I wasn’t easily overwhelmed. I noticed most of the adults looking my way, including Nessa and Liam, and every kid was shouting for food and what condiments they wanted. At the same time, an older lady appeared behind me and hurried toward the barbecue area, so I guessed that was the nanny Kellan didn’t like.

The woman had to be close to seventy, but she gathered all the kids like a pro, and they seemed to listen to her.

Making sure an impatient Ellie was fed was a priority, so I ushered her and Trip over there and was quickly handed a cold beer by Finn.

“Sweet nectar.” I grinned. “Cheers.”

“Good to see you, mate.” He slapped his hand to mine and shook it firmly before he directed his attention to Ellie. “How you doin’, shortcake? You ready to bust some balls around here?”

Ellie beamed. “Daddy calls me ballbuster all the time!”

I laughed. She wasn’t wrong.

“That’s good. Those are the girls who stick around, ’cause they can take our shit,” Finn chuckled. My boy was next on his radar. Finn was seemingly completely unbothered by the mayhem around the grill just a few feet away. Ryan wanted four hot dogs, while the nanny argued in a noticeably Irish accent that he better start with one, and Cory and…Reagan…? Well, they wanted Momma to make their burgers. “And how can we make you comfortable, Trip? Kellan tells me you like to play with matches. We have plenty of those.”

I smiled and scratched Trip’s head.

“I build things with them,” my son replied. “I would like to go in the pool first if that’s okay.”

“Hey, knock yourself out,” Finn said. Just then, one of the twin boys started climbing Finn’s leg, so he picked the boy up and smooched his cheek. “What’s up, baby?”

“I’m hungwy noooww. Where’s Momma?”

“She was gonna give Auntie Luna a call,” Finn told him. “She’ll be back soon. How about I prove to you that I can make you a burger that’s as good as Momma’s, huh?”

I was fucking surrounded by mini-Finnegans. They all had darker hair than he did—so I guessed they got that from Emilia—but otherwise, no need to wonder who was the father. Then there were two more. They ran up behind me, one older, around four or five, and the other stumbling forward the way only a toddler could. One had dark hair, the other was a copperhead like Finn, but…

Correction, copperhead like Liam. He arrived on the scene and picked up the youngest, and his actions, his obvious affection for the kid, made it clear the lad was his.

Kellan draped an arm around my shoulders, at the same time as the nanny coaxed my own kids to her. So she was just gonna take care of all the kids? Seriously?

“I hope Finn pays her well,” I said for only Kellan to hear.

He laughed and nodded once. “Oh, she’s set. She’s part of the family—some uncle’s wife on Shan’s side. Finn bought her a fuckin’ house when she came over from Killarney.” He jerked his chin at the two Liam was focusing on. “That’s CJ and li’l Eddie.”

I looked at him, surprised. “Your nephews?” I’d heard him mention them before, obviously, but I’d had no idea they were Liam’s kids. “You never said your sister married Liam.”

“’Cause she didn’t,” he snorted. “That’s—hold up. Ryan!” He got the boy’s attention as he got ketchup and relish all over his face. “What do we say to Auntie Luna and Uncle Liam about their family?”

Ryan grinned goofily and held up a hand like a stop sign. “I don’t need tickets to your shitshow!”

Kellan and I cracked up, and Finn said, “Fuckin’ amen” and fist-bumped his son.

“Find something new to gossip about,” Liam bitched. He had an accent too, though it wasn’t as pronounced as the nanny’s.

“We’re not gossiping, mate,” Kellan chuckled. “We’re avoiding the topic like the plague.”

“Yet you find every goddamn opportunity to bring it up.” Liam shot him a quick glare before he went back to fixing his sons’ hot dogs.

Kellan’s shoulders trembled with silent laughter. “It’s a touchy subject.”

Evidently.

“Anyway, they’re not together and never have been,” he added quietly. “Long story short, Liam and CJ bonded over a holiday, and somehow, my sister ended up pregnant shortly after, resulting in Eddie.”

Somehow ended up pregnant?

It wasn’t a mystery.

Interesting that CJ wasn’t Liam’s biological kid, though. I’d been under the impression that blood meant everything to the Sons.

When the young girls, Autumn and Nessa, came over, Finn literally bribed them with two hundred bucks to help the nanny with the kids so the grown-ups could sit down for a moment. I wasn’t sure the girls were in need of money, considering the brands displayed on their bikini designs, but they agreed.

“That’s four hundred you owe me now, Dad,” Autumn reminded in a singsong voice.

“Well, fuck.” Finn hauled out his wallet. “Let’s get that sorted.”

“The fuck’s wrong with you, cousin?” Liam asked. “You know they babysit for free.”

“We’ve already told him! Don’t remind him,” Nessa warned.

I grinned.

She shifted her gaze to me, still visibly curious, but made no move to introduce herself.

“I believe in fair pay for hard labor,” was Finn’s response. “Reagan’s got the runs, so…”

Oh Christ.

“Daddy, I’m eating lots!” one twin declared happily. It had to be Reagan. Cory was back to clinging to Finn’s leg, all while clutching his burger tightly enough to make a mess.

“That’s good. You gotta grow up and be big and strong like Daddy,” Finn said with a nod. He handed over the money to the girls, because who didn’t walk around with nearly a grand of cash in their wallet? “Boys, you listen to your sister and Nessa now.”

I guessed I was free to go too. Ellie was busy eating a burger and chatting with Ryan and CJ, and Trip had two hot dogs and one juice box in his hands and was aiming for a pool chair. Because, uh, he didn’t need tickets to this shitshow.

Fuck, I was gonna start using that one.

As if sensing my stare, Trip sat down on the foot of the lounger and looked over to me, and he smiled and half waved with one hot dog.

I smiled back. He knew the drill. He could come to me if anything was wrong—and I knew the drill too. I’d learned from countless occasions of fussing that he preferred solitude. Until he didn’t. He had his social moments too, and he had no issues making friends.

Chances were I wouldn’t see either of my kids for quite a while. Ellie had her bathing suit on underneath her dress, and Trip’s shorts were his trunks. Well, he might come to me for his goggles.

A minute or so later, we’d disentangled ourselves from the children, and we headed over to the table on the patio where Shannon was reading a book and drinking a glass of wine.

“No more peacefulness for you, hon.” Kellan popped a kiss to Shannon’s temple before sitting down next to him.

“As if I ever expected peace out here.” Shannon just smiled. “We get peace at home.”

“Peace and no funny business,” Finn stated.

Kellan laughed, and Shannon rolled his eyes.

I dropped my bag next to a chair and set my beer on the table.

“Anyway, now we can get formal introductions outta the way.” Finn took charge. “Alfie, this is my old man, Shannon O’Shea. Dad, Alfie O’Dwyer. Secret spawn of John.”

O’Dwyer.

“We’ve met,” Shannon said with a polite smile.

I returned it and shook the his hand over the table. “Nice to see you again, sir.”

“You too, Alfie. Call me Shan. I’m glad you’re no longer a secret.”

“Me too.” I was honest, even though I had no clue where things would end up ultimately. But they appeared to be welcoming, and Finn mentioned the word family a whole lot. I liked that.

I noticed Liam had hung back a few paces, waiting for the man I didn’t recognize, and they exchanged a few words quietly before they made their way over.

Finn clapped a hand on my back. “That’s Eric. He’s our tech genius and needs to be bribed in order to leave his fourteen computer screens at work.”

Oh, so that was Eric. I knew so many names and so few faces.

We shook hands too.

“Good to have you on board,” he said.

“Thanks.” I nodded.

That left Liam, who was smirking faintly. We really did share some features, didn’t we? We had similar builds, with him being a little taller, and he had more copper in his hair. But the shape of his nose, eyes, lips, jaw… One could tell we were related.

“Last but not least, meet your big brother,” Finn chuckled.

For a quick second, nerves wreaked havoc on my stomach, because it was that word. Brother. I had a big brother? Fucking crazy! Actually, downright surreal. And I wasn’t sure of the meaning. Family terms didn’t lock shit in place. Chemistry and relationships did.

He shook my hand firmly. “Don’t worry, I won’t ask for a paternity test.”

I chuckled, part relieved. Going straight for humor was my jam. “I actually told Kellan to keep this between us at first. Now I’m glad he didn’t. Just…don’t think I’m tryna get in touch with John.”

That made him smirk. “Who the fuck is? I see him once or twice a year. That’s enough.”

Look at that, we had something in common already.

“This is beautiful. Just beautiful.” Finn squeezed Liam’s shoulder too. “Everyone can bond over how much we hate John.”

We chuckled.

“Come on.” Finn nodded at the table. “One beer before we throw the steaks on the grill.”

I wouldn’t call Liam guarded, but he was careful, for which I couldn’t blame him. I wasn’t ready to ride off into the sunset either—but it was nice. This whole thing. Lively and fun and energetic. These guys knew how to shoot the shit, not to mention prepare a feast.

We could thank Emilia for the latter. It must’ve been decided beforehand that she, the girls, and the nanny were gonna look after the kids so that the men could talk and ask me a bunch of questions. Mostly because Emilia and Finn didn’t strike me as a couple to split the family up for meals. But after Emilia had filled the table with fries, salads, bread, drinks, and condiments, she’d sat down to eat with the girls by the pool instead.

Liam had allowed Nessa to come over briefly for introductions as well, and I couldn’t say I had much of an impression of her yet. If anything—actually, I had one thought. Because that security guy, Colm, had joined us when Nessa had been here, and she’d blushed and forgotten what she’d been saying, and then she’d walked away.

So, I guessed she had a crush on the guy.

She and Autumn were currently in the pool with most of the kids, and only three of them didn’t need floaties. My two and Ryan.

Trip seemed to have hit it off with CJ, in a way.

If there was one thing my son loved more than water and being able to choose his peace and quiet, it was being a big brother. He loved to teach and show Ellie stuff. If only she’d been interested. CJ, though, Trip was teaching him how to dive to the bottom and locate whatever toys they’d sunk.

I turned back to my food and cut another piece of my steak, and I heard the guys still reminiscing about back in the day. I’d told them I remembered Finn’s mother—and how—and it took Finn down memory lane, with Shan confirming some stories Finn couldn’t remember, such as Grace being the head of the church’s soup kitchen and monthly coat drive initiative for a few years.

“That’s fuckin’ crazy,” Finn chuckled. “I wonder if John ever saw. Like, imagine heading into church and you see your sister holding the kid you neglected to tell your wife about.”

“He neglected to tell all of us a lot of things,” Liam replied dryly. “I once asked him how many kids he had, and he thought it was funny and said it was best he didn’t know himself.”

Shan cleared his throat and poured more wine for Kellan. “Back in the day, we knew of two girls. That’s it. One in Milwaukee and one in Boston. Both had father unknown listed on their birth certificates.”

I lifted my brows. “Do I wanna know how youse determined the paternity?”

Kellan and Eric found that funny.

Maybe I didn’t wanna know.

Shan smirked faintly and took a sip of his wine. “Some secrets are all right to keep. As long as they’re not children.”

Should I start taking notes? This lifestyle had its own set of rules; that much was clear.

“Finn would never keep a secret from Emilia,” Kellan joked.

Finn chuckled into his beer. “Shut the fuck up.”

“And neither would you, correct?” Shan smirked at Kellan.

“Just the shit I’m allowed to lie about,” he replied smoothly. He nodded at me. “You’ll learn. More so when you meet your next man.”

I chewed around a mouthful of food and shook my head. “I’m done in that arena. No one for me to piss off.”

“That’s the way to go,” Liam told me with a nod. “Once upon a time, I was looking forward to having what Finn has with Emilia, but fuck it. Spouses bring nothin’ but trouble.”

There we go. He agreed with me.

Maybe down the road, I’d have casual fun again. I just couldn’t see it. I’d been “free” for two years, and I hadn’t so much as gotten a massage with a happy ending. Way back when, Kellan and I had gone to a massage parlor that was still at it today. I’d thought about it after the divorce, but I couldn’t. For several reasons. Partly, it felt like I would be cheating. Partly, I wasn’t interested in anyone but West. Partly, I didn’t think I deserved to move on with someone new.

I’d never been able to pinpoint why I’d felt the latter, though it couldn’t be clearer anymore. Deep down, I must’ve known I’d fucked this up somehow.

“You’re both wrong, lads,” Shan said mildly. “You’ll see one day.”

“Check out my romantic man.” Kellan grinned and gave the hubby a smooch.

Finn drained his beer, then belched and turned to me. “Didju try getting your ex back? ’Cause I have pro-tips that’ve worked for me.”

I laughed through my nose. “That ship has sailed. Just this morning, I let him know that while I wasn’t ready to say I wanted him to be happy with someone else, I acknowledged it’s what he deserves. He’s already met someone.” Could we change the topic now?

He dismissed that like it was nothing. “We’ll talk, Alfie. Kellan can joke about the secrets we keep, but my wife knows enough. The rest, she doesn’t wanna know. With one exception—I’ll do everything in my power to keep her. Write that down. Every fucking thing.”

I wasn’t gonna write it down, but I was highly amused.

Shan frowned at his son. “You don’t honestly believe you need to rely on placebo birth control anymore, do you?”

Kellan and I cracked up. Fuck, after that many kids, I sure hoped not!

“Of course not.” Finn rolled his eyes. “But you know her. She’s… How the fuck can I ever deserve her? The answer is, I can’t. So, I gotta do what I gotta do.” He shrugged.

Shan shook his head. “You sell yourself too short, son. A few years ago? We’d be having a different discussion—which we did back then. But you’re a great husband.”

Well, that made me curious. “What happened a few years ago?”

“We’re not going there,” Finn laughed. “But just to be clear, I’ve always been loyal.”

“It was his scheming to trap her that was the issue,” Shan supplied. “He has nothing to worry about today.” Then he smirked. “My son even has a set of rules. He once claimed he could write the book on how to be the perfect husband. What was it, ten rules?”

Finn sucked his teeth. “I told you that in confidence, old man.”

“You told me that when you were drunk ,” Shan corrected.

I grinned and stuck the last two fries in my mouth.

Kellan shook his head in amusement, then addressed me. “You’ll never see us this way at work, for the record.”

I already knew that, given the reputation Finn had along the entire East Coast. After all, I was the one getting the requests for sit-downs, and I knew how men spoke of Finn. If it weren’t for Kellan speaking highly of his mate, I probably wouldn’t have been itching to get in.

“I wanna hear these rules,” Liam said.

“I was just gonna ask,” Colm chuckled. “C’mon, boss.”

Finn reached for his smokes, maybe thinking about it, and he lit one up. “It’s seven steps, not rules,” he muttered.

Hell, even I wanted to hear now.

Liam lit up a smoke too, and the bastard caught me looking and offered one silently.

Fuck.

I glanced over at the pool. The kids were plenty distracted…

Okay, I could be subtle.

“Cheers.” I accepted it and—all right, a lighter too.

“Fine,” Finn conceded. “First of all, this is about knowing women, so…” He eyed me, Kellan, and Shan. Very funny. “Step one, you wanna be low-key irresistible to most women, but not too much. If they think the competition is big, the good ones will back off and say fuck this nonsense. Step two, you only show interest in your wife. Bonus points if that’s the only one you want. Don’t go thinking about others.” He directed that to Liam for some reason.

Liam, in turn, frowned. “The fuck’s that’s supposed to mean? I’m a fuckin’ monk.”

“Then why aren’t you trapping Luna already?” Finn snapped. “Christ, is it too much to ask to wanna see youse married and settled down? It’s like I’m running a syndicate of whores. Get married, have more kids, go to Mass, and be faithful.”

“Are those the steps?” I smirked.

I got some laughs from that.

Finn scoffed and moved on. “If people actually listened to me, they’d be happier.” He exhaled some smoke. “Step three, preemptive strikes of romance. If you rely on your wife to remember important dates, you better be good at the day-to-day shit. I don’t go a week without bringing home flowers and planning date nights for us.”

I actually liked that one. I was horrible at remembering anniversaries.

“And this is why Shan and I are constantly babysitting,” Kellan said dryly.

“Oh, shush. Nobody buys your kid-hating act anymore, love.” Shan patted Kellan’s hand, and Liam and Finn laughed.

“So what’s step four?” Eric wondered.

“Step four is a big one,” Finn answered. “If your wife’s having a shitty day, give her a massage without groping her tits.”

See, that would never work with West. Whenever he’d had a long day and came home from work in a bad mood, a shower and a blow job was the way to go.

“Chances are she’ll reward you with sex for not pushing for sex,” Finn finished. “I learned that the hard way after the twins were born. And this is why I blame and thank her for Kian.”

I chuckled and took a drag from my smoke.

“Step five, listening to your wife should include responses that prove you’ve been listening,” he went on. “Women are hella good at picking up autopiloted answers.”

I could vouch for that. I’d lost count of the times my mom had smacked me upside the head for just nodding and humming when she got going.

“That’s a good one.” Shan inclined his head.

Liam rubbed the back of his neck and squinted at nothing.

“Step six,” Finn said. “Clichéd but true—fuck her brain before you fuck her pussy.”

Could not relate one bit. Don’t get me wrong, what’d made me fall for West was the whole package, no pun intended. He was intelligent, kind, funny, and driven. And none of that had been necessary when we’d first met. I’d just needed that spectacular body of his. He was the hottest man to walk this earth.

Kellan eyed Shan a little. “That’s only kinda true for us.”

“Thanks, do not need the details.” Finn interrupted.

“Well, we want the brain-fucking as well, to put it as crudely as my son,” Shan reasoned. “Just not as the keys to the castle.”

“Jesus Christ.” Finn closed his eyes and rubbed at his temples. “Kellan’s ass is now known as the castle. Fuck me, I’m seeing images again.”

I couldn’t help it; I cracked up hard—and I wasn’t the only one. Safe to say, seeing his dad and his best friend together was still a mindfuck for him. And who could blame him? I’d freak the fuck out if I came home one day and discovered Kellan was with my mom or dad—and Kellan and I hadn’t even grown up together.

“Emilia!” Finn shouted and stood up abruptly. “Fuck this noise—I’mma replace those images with something holy.”

“Something holy,” Liam laughed.

Finn stalked off, yelling for his wife.

“But, Finn!” I called out. “What about the last step? We’ll be lost without it!”

He stuck two middle fingers in the air to the sounds of more laughter.

As fun as dinner had been, the next couple of hours knocked it out of the park. The music was cranked up, the dining table filled up with snacks and a goddamn ice cream machine, and we got to tire the kids out. And ourselves.

The patio hadn’t been too bad because it was in the shade, but out in the sun—fuck me, I stuck to the pool. ’Cause it wouldn’t surprise me if we’d hit triple digits today.

“Make a bigger splash this time, Daddy!” Ellie jumped up on my back, and I secured her legs and arms around me.

“I’m gonna try, but Colm’s a fuckin’ mountain,” I replied.

“Hey.” Colm shot me a look as Ryan climbed up his back. “What if I have body issues?”

I smirked. “Do you?”

He snorted a laugh. “Nah. Let’s go!”

“On the count of three!” Kellan hollered. “One! Two! Three!”

I took off in a sprint, with Ellie squealing in my ear, and everyone in the pool cheered as we jumped in. I managed to pull up my legs right before we hit the water, and Colm and Ryan were right next to us.

Fuck, this felt good. I hadn’t had this much fun in a long-ass time.

Ellie and I resurfaced to more cheers, but Colm and Ryan were once more declared the winners of the biggest splash.

“Damn it all!” Ellie cried out.

“All right, that’s it.” Finn pushed himself out of the pool. “Come on, shortcake. You and I will show Colm and Ryan how it’s done.”

“I will win, Daddy!” Ryan guffawed.

“You’ve won enough, son,” Finn replied.

I grinned and swam to the edge to help her up. “Okay, go with Finn, baby. I’ll cheer for you.”

“Yessss!” She was game.

Perfect timing for me. While she ran for Finn, I swam over to the stairs where Trip was sitting, happily eating his soft-serve cone with the best amount of jimmies. As in, a shit-ton.

“You in a sharing mood, son?” I approached like a predator, and he eeep’d and struggled to decide. He couldn’t contain his grin, at the same time as he was possessive of his ice cream.

“One bite!” he bargained.

One was fine.

I chuckled and eased up like a whale on the last steps, and he extended the cone to me. I went for the melting top and got a mouthful of rainbow jimmies too—fucking perfect. Then he immediately backed away to keep the cone out of the water zone.

“Delicious.” I gave his knee a squeeze. “You havin’ fun, sweetheart?”

He smiled goofily. “Very. I almost taught CJ to swim. He’s struggling.”

Well, CJ wasn’t five yet, so he had time.

Speak of the devil…

CJ splashed toward us and removed his floaties as soon as he was on the stairs, and he?—

“Don’t take them off until your belly button’s above the surface, son.” Liam swam over too. “If you break the rules, I pay for it when we get home.”

“I can stand, Daddy!” CJ huffed.

“Tell your mum that,” Liam challenged. “It’s her fuckin’ rule.”

I shook my head in amusement. Glad to see he and Luna were a united front.

Reagan and little Kian bobbed closer too, wearing both arm floaties and life jackets, which was the only way Emilia could relax some. ’Cause these kids were wild. Little Eddie was the same. Everyone under four needed two pairs of eyes on them—and all the flotation help.

“Hi!” CJ pulled up his trunks and sat down on the step below the top one. “Are you my uncle?”

Oh shite.

I glanced at Liam, who chuckled under his breath. Then he shrugged and inclined his head a little.

Okay, then.

I cleared my throat. “Yeah. I am. Which means I can throw you in the water whenever I want.”

CJ gasped. “Uncle Kellan protects me!”

I didn’t know about that. Kellan was busy judging the splash jumpers and eating chips.

“Same goes for you, lad,” Liam told Trip. “Right now, only the ice cream saves you.”

I smiled, and it felt like a weight was being lifted off my shoulders.

We were really doing this family thing, weren’t we?

Trip, ever the genius, giggled and rose to his feet. “I’m gonna top this off. Bye!” He ran away with his cone toward the ice cream machine.

“I’mma get ice cream too!” CJ yelled and followed. “Bye-bye! Trip, wait for me!”

Clever boys.

And cute as fuck.

“I was thinkin’,” Liam said. “We fly home on Monday, but do you wanna grab lunch after church tomorrow?”

Absofuckinglutely.

“Yeah, sounds great,” I replied. Even more so because I wouldn’t have to worry about running into Ma. These days, she always attended the second service, and the O’Sheas went to the early one. “Will you let Nessa interact with me?” It was half a joke, which I hoped my smirk showed.

He chuckled and glanced over at where Nessa was watching Cory and Eddie. “Maybe I’m overprotective.”

It was fine. I got it.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “You gotta make sure I’m not some lunatic.”

His smirk mirrored my own. “I can’t say I’ve been that worried. If Kellan vouches for you, I’m good.”

Cheers to Kellan.

“Besides,” he chuckled, “we’re the lunatics here, mate.”

I grinned.