8. Akira

The vision of River naked in the shower will be a hard one to shake. I don't think River realized I could smell the arousal on him, but the moment he started moaning, I gave in. I needed to get off. There was no way I could wait and do it in the shower. Instead, I spread myself out on my tiny cot and prayed I could finish before River returned.

With barely any time to ball up my sweaty sheets, I had to act nonchalant when he walked out of the bathroom and glanced my way. I needed to shower off all the evidence. He might have been turned on, but I want to wait until he's ready and willing to open up. Telling River I jerked off to the sound of him moaning? Yeah, that might be too much. Plus, I don't want him to feel pressured in any way.

Padding barefoot out of the bathroom, I spot River sitting on the sofa with a new book already in his lap. Well, hell. He looks good in the nice pair of jeans and blue tee he changed into. I sit down at our dinette, which is attached to the other end of the sofa that's built into the trailer wall.

He tenses when I lean into his space, and I don't miss the way his nostrils flare, as if inhaling my presence. "What are you reading?" I ask, kneeling on the dinette chair and leaning in even closer.

The cutest blush spreads across his cheeks and down his neck before disappearing into his shirt. "Nothing," he replies in that cool tone that always makes me want to smile. "Just a fiction book. For entertainment."

Curious now, I reach for the book and pluck it from his grasp before he knows what's happening.

He squeals and jumps up, but I laugh, holding it out of reach.

"Oh my god, are you twelve? Give it back." He climbs over the sofa and lunges at me.

River's blush is even deeper now. With a reaction like this, now I need to know. What the hell is he reading? Still holding it out of reach, I flip the book over and eye the cover. "Holy shit." I take in the tight leather pants and a shirt that looks awfully familiar. I grin. "Is this a pirate romance?"

"No!" River squeals again, climbing further up my body and almost kneeing me the balls.

"It is!" I chuckle. "It's one of those bodice rippers, or whatever they call them. Let's see here," I say, reading the tagline on the cover. "The sexiest pirate of all the seas."

"Give it back!" He laughs.

"And the pirate totally looks like me." The pirate on the cover looks nothing like me, but the mortified look on River's face makes it worth it.

"Oh my god, you look nothing like that guy," he says, straddling my lap, still smiling. The warmth of his body feels nice, and my kitsune is yipping with joy. I don't even think River realizes what he"s doing. His fruity sweet scent surrounds me, making me hard again.

"You're right," I tease, glancing at the cover again. "I'm prettier. Right?"

River stills. I meant it as a joke, but River swallows hard. He climbs off my lap, taking his warmth with him. My kitsune growls at me, but I'm already upset with myself. Damn, Akira. Take it down a notch. I want to kick myself for being too forward and flirty.

"Yeah," River mumbles.

"I'm sorry what?" I ask, confused.

"Don't make me repeat it."

I'm genuinely lost, still distracted, that I pushed him away by saying—Wait. Did River Lowe just admit that I'm pretty? My eyes snap up to his.

"You are." River holds up his book. "Prettier than him, that is."

My kitsune twirls in my chest and my heart flutters. I don't think I've ever felt my kitsune this happy before, and the emotions radiating off them are intoxicating.

If I'm being honest, I want to get to know this little human in front of me. I'm curious to know what makes him tick. I've never been so fascinated by another person before. And that, in itself, is just as intriguing. An idea pops into my mind.

"Go out with me tonight?" I say, pulling his eyes up to mine.

His jaw drops. "What?"

My inner fox gives me a warning growl. Right. I don't need to scare him. But I just can't help how he makes me feel. This time I choose my words carefully. "I mean, what are you up to tonight?" I ask, praying he doesn't have any plans.

River narrows his eyes, watching me for a moment. I almost don't want him to look too closely, half afraid he'll see right through me. Pretending to act casual, I gather my wavy black hair into its usual bun.

"Depends," he says slowly. "What did you have in mind?"

"Seven recommended I go to the main circus show tonight. Have you seen it yet?"

"No, not yet. I've actually been thinking about it lately. It would be fun to go with someone. I don't really like going to big public things by myself."

I clap my hands together with a wide grin on my face. "See, perfect. Let's go together."

My kitsune seems just as thrilled as I am. If I didn't know any better, it's almost as if they're purring.

"Want to get dinner together before the show?" I ask, deciding to push my luck a little, just so I can spend more time with this curious little human.

"Sure. God, for a second I thought you were asking me out on—never mind." He waves his hand in the air as if he can wave his words away. "Mind if we eat here? I'm kind of addicted to Rhett's cooking. And don't tell Indy, but I'm starting to get tired of diner food."

I want to ask him to finish what he was saying, but I also don't want to pop this little bubble of peace between us. So, instead, I push up from my spot on the dinette and make my way to the door. "Yeah, you ready? I heard Rhett has an amazing menu tonight."

River's head turns back, and I follow his gaze. It lands on the balled-up sheets on my cot. I feel my cheeks heat. Is it obvious why they're no longer on the bed? Did River notice that my bed was made before his shower?

When our eyes meet again, his emerald-green eyes are sparkling. "Don't you think you should throw that in the washing machine before we go?"

I narrow my eyes on him. Oh, stars. He totally knows.

River giggles. Fucking giggles.

And like a dying man in the desert, I drink it up. I could get addicted to the sound of River's giggles. "Come on, little fox. Get your curious eyes off my sheets and let"s go eat."

River either doesn't notice the endearment that slipped out or he doesn't mind it. Meanwhile, my kitsune is content, happy that I gave River a nickname they approved of. Yeah, little fox suits him more than little human.

River slips his shoes on and snatches up his wallet before shoving it into the back pocket of his jeans. I hold the door open as we make our way outside. River locks the door and offers me a shy smile.

Following the dirt path past all the other trailers, we make our way toward the big purple mess tent.

"So," I venture. "Besides reading sexy pirate smut, what do you like to do?"

River rolls his eyes. "Seriously?" he asks, but I don't miss the way he bites his lip, as if trying not to grin. My earlier goal of always trying to make River Lowe smile pops into my head. But I also want him to take me seriously. I want him to smile at me with happiness, not just humor.

"Okay, okay," I say, throwing my hands up in a surrender motion. "I"m just kidding. So, besides reading, what else do you like to do?"

His smile turns down. After a long pause, he looks over at me and holds eye contact. "Do you want an honest answer?"

"Of course. Always." I slow down to a leisurely pace. The serious look on River's face probably means he doesn't want everyone overhearing.

He blows out a breath, ruffling the curly blond hair on his forehead. "I don't really know anymore. I've only had a little bit of free time during the day. I spent most of it searching for my brother, tracking the circus, reading articles, doing research, and trying everything I could to find Indy. I became kind of obsessed." He says the last part quietly as his eyes drop.

We approach the mess tent, but instead of leading him inside, I tug him by the elbow behind the tent and over to a nearby tree. I don't want others to hear us talking about this. The fact River is trusting me is something I'll treasure, even if it's an old wound. I'll protect his secrets if he needs me to.

"Hey," I say, clasping his hand in mine as I begin to massage his palm. "It's okay. Let"s talk privately here for a moment."

He studies the way I press my thumb into the meat of his hand. His whole body relaxes under my touch.

"No one believed me, you know?" His voice is soft. "I lost a lot of friends, and I kind of stopped living for myself." He shakes his head, eyes unfocused. "I put all my effort into working for a company I hated and searching for a brother everyone thought was dead. That's it. Everyone told me to let it go, but I couldn't." There's pain etched all over his face.

Gods, I want to comfort him so badly. "You believed he was alive."

River shakes his head before he leans in toward me, looking deep into my eyes. He's close. So close that all I just have to do is close the distance and we would be kissing. But that's not what he's doing. He isn't chasing a kiss or looking at me romantically. It's almost as if he's searching for something.

"Not always. Actually, it was my dreams that pushed me. They encouraged me to keep searching for him. They insisted that Indy was alive. I felt so lost, but my dreams helped guide me through the darkest times. So, no. I didn't always believe Indy was alive. Actually, I was sure he was dead at times. But then I would dream of Indy, of finding him. And whenever I felt like giving up, I would dream later that night, only to wake up refreshed and eager to search again."

I nod, trying to find the best words to soothe him. Because that's what I want to do at this moment. I want to wrap River up in my arms and tell him he did a good job. He didn't give up. He found his brother. But I get the impression that what he needs more than a hug is for someone to understand.

And I can give that to him.

I might not have lived the same experience he has, but I helped my best friend search for his brother for decades. "Did you know I helped Sorren try to find his brother?"

River looks up at me.

"We spent over fifty years searching in between battles, never wanting to give up until we had answers."

His jaw drops open. "Fifty years? I thought Seven has only been in the human world for just over ten years."

"He has." I nod. "As soon as he crossed over into the human realm, he spent ten years here. Meanwhile, Faerie moves through time differently. Ten years here is decades longer in Faerie. And we spent that time either on the battlefield or searching the kingdoms for clues."

"Wow. Fifty years. That's a long time. Did you believe he was alive?"

"Sometimes. Both Sorren and I waffled back and forth with our thoughts. But we didn't give up. I never met Seven, so I didn't feel the loss of a brother the way you did with Indy. But every time Sorren hurt, I hurt."

River nods. "Were you and Sorren ever together?"

I bark out a laugh. "Stars, no. He isn't my type."

"And what is your type?" He whispers, but I know I can't lie. Before I met him, I could have explained that I have many types, but since meeting River, his whole presence has consumed me.

I trace my finger across his cheek. "I think you know," I whisper back.

He swallows hard and nods again.

Taking a step back, I give him a soft smile. "What do you think? Are you ready to eat?"

After we make our way back to the mess tent, we step inside together and look at our options. River can"t decide between the bacon Mac n Cheese or the carnitas. As far as I know, I don"t think I"ve tried either, so we decide to split the two dishes.

Instead of grabbing separate bowls, we sit side by side at a vacant picnic table and share from each other's plates.

River presses his thigh against mine. "Earlier, you asked about my hobbies. Well, I collect keys. Antique keys or fancy keys with intricate details. The more unique, the better."

"Keys to what?"

"Anything, really, but mostly doors, I guess."

"And do you have access to any of these doors?"

"No." He chuckles. "It isn't about opening anything. I just like the mystery of them. When I was a little kid, Indy and I used to pretend they were the keys to a secret door. Some hidden door to a magical world."

My lips tip up at the corner. "That's adorable."

He gives me a dull look, and I squeeze his knee. "I'm serious. I can picture tiny little River and Indy by your side with a treasure chest filled with keys."

River nods. "Yes! We actually did do that. Sometimes pretending to be pirates filling up our treasure chest."

"Pirates again? Wow, you've been into them since childhood. No wonder you're so obsessed with me." I flirt.

River shakes his head. "Yeah, and what's your excuse?"

Stars, what is my excuse? Instead of answering, I give him a wink. He shoves some of the carnitas into his mouth. His thigh nudges against mine.

"What about you?" He asks. "Will you tell me what it's like growing up in Faerie?"

"Sure. What would you like to know?"

We take our time eating, swapping stories of our lives and where we grew up. I tell him about my father, who was a pure-blood fae, and my kitsune mother. I talk about the adventures that Rhea and I had when our father would take us fishing. River tells me about his parents and how they passed away. He talks about Indy, and I'm shocked to realize that Indy is older. River tells me how he worked really hard in school and graduated early with honors. I knew my little human was smart.

At one point we stand and get some dessert, but wander back to our table where we spend more time chatting.

Our time together flows easily and I find myself even more fascinated by every little piece of River that I discover. I'm impressed that he started at the bottom of his uncle's law firm and worked his way up in the accounting department. I assumed, with it being a family-owned business, he would've started at a higher position. But apparently, River didn't want to owe his uncle a thing and confidently wanted to put his experience on his resumé.

"I have to confess something," I admit. River pauses to look over at me. He still has his leg pressed against mine under the picnic table.

"Alright, what's going on?" he asks.

"Okay, please don't be mad, but the other day I heard the voice message your uncle left you. I didn't mean to pry, but supernatural hearing and all. I could hear him yelling at you through the phone."

River lets out a long sigh. "Yeah, I figured you heard."

"As I said, I didn't mean to, but once I heard his tone, I wanted to make sure you were okay." I remember jingling my keys a few times, trying to make noise, so he knew I was still in our trailer. My kitsune was trampling against my chest, insisting I barge into his room.

"It's okay. Thanks for hanging back."

"Does he always talk to you like that?"

"Unfortunately. As soon as I finish my current projects with my clients, I'm putting in my notice. I've been working remotely during the day with my laptop while you work with Indy and Seven."

I knew he was working from our trailer, but he actually worked all hours of the day between that and the accounting he started doing for the circus. I squeeze his knee again. "You know, you impress me, little fox. Just make sure you don't burn yourself out."

He smiles. "Why do you call me little fox?"

"It fits you. Did you know that foxes are smart and curious? Not only that, they are very driven and motivated. They don't give up and know how to trust their intuition. Oh, and they can be a little grumpy at times. But still, smart."

River laughs, causing a domino effect inside my chest and lighting me up inside. "You said smart. Twice."

"See, it fits you."

We smile at each other with goofy grins. This is the first time I feel like we are both on equal footing. I knew making River smile would be rewarding, but I didn't anticipate the feelings it would stir inside me every time he aimed that smile my way.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Alyx says as he slides onto the picnic bench across from us. "Doesn't this look cozy?"

Alyx's boyfriend, August, slides in next to him, setting their tray of food on the table between us.

I tense when I see the centaur shifter. I've tried avoiding August as much as possible, surprised that Seven would allow a centaur into his circus and around his family. Centaurs are known to be brutal warriors who have a violent past with the fae. But Seven keeps insisting that we can't put the faults of our kind onto one individual.

August looks up at me and blushes. His eyes drop to his food. Alyx and River both seem to notice some tension between us. River sneaks a hand onto my knee, mirroring the move I made earlier. All the while, Alyx smiles at his boyfriend and whispers something about patriotic undies into his ear.

August's blush deepens, but he gives Alyx a smile so beautiful that I find myself smiling, too.

When I see August dig into his salad, I notice there is absolutely no meat. Considering his kind takes pride in hunting, I'm surprised.

"So," Alyx drawls, pointing back and forth between River and me. "How long have you two been together?"

River chokes on his water, and I laugh.

"We aren't together," River says, reverting to his usual grumpy demeanor.

My kitsune twirls with humor, and I have to agree. It"s okay, we'll work on making River smile again.

"Aw now, little fox, don't go hurting my feelings." I tease. Glancing back over at August, I find myself still curious about his food. "August, are you vegetarian?"

August smooths a hand over the tight bun on top of his head where his centaur ears would be. The gesture makes me realize that my own bun is going wild again, so I pull it out of the scrunchy and rearrange it back on my head. I'm not entirely sure it did much.

"I am." August's brown gaze bores into mine. "I refuse to be anything like my brethren."

Tension leaves my shoulders as I pick up on his hidden meaning. I have a feeling I completely misjudged this shy centaur. "Of course." I nod, offering him a small smile. "I look forward to getting to know you."

***

Magic hums through my veins as we enter the big red and white striped tent.

"Wow! It's like we've walked through a portal into a fantasy realm!" River gasps. The tent is more spacious than I realized, indicating the outside was probably some type of illusion or spell to make the tent bigger on the inside.

Several rows of seats line the tent's outer walls, forming a circle around the large stage in the middle. Hundreds of people have already gathered and are chatting animatedly as they wait for the show to start.

Lights sparkle in the air above the audience, giving the tent the illusion that it's open and peering at a starry night. Spotlights pointed to the center of the stage. I'm frozen in place, awestruck. I can sense Seven's magic and power radiating throughout the whole tent. To emit this amount of glamour is not only impressive, it is a little terrifying.

I've been working closely with the Ringmaster for weeks, and yet, had no idea the extent of his magic. Seven has to be even more powerful than the king of Faerie. No wonder his father banished him from our lands.

Once we are seated, the whole tent darkens, and the crowd falls silent, waiting with bated breath. Glittering lights twinkle to life and dance in front of us, reminding me of the tiny pixies in the forest near my childhood home.

River gasps and reaches for my hand. He leans in close, his breath tickling the shell of my ear. "I've never seen anything quite like this," he says with awe.

The silence is broken when the click-clack of what has to be boots echoes toward the center of the stage. There's just enough light for me to see, but as far as I can tell, no one is there. Then, spotlights flick on, illuminating the stage.

A magical plume of purple smoke appears out of nowhere, and then suddenly, in the blink of an eye, Seven is standing in the middle of the stage, appearing there as if he teleported. "Holy shit," I breathe, just as the audience breaks into a thunderous applause.

Meanwhile, my jaw hangs open. Ringmaster or not, with my experience on the battlefield, it should have been impossible for Seven to sneak up on me like that. How the hell did he do it? Seven sweeps his top hat off his head and gives everyone a deep bow. His purple hair shines under all the lights.

River claps wildly. Stars, if we are both impressed just by Seven's entrance, what else does the BCC have in store for us?

Seven throws his arm up into an arch motion and a shimmering rain of magic falls over the crowd. It's all illusion magic and glamour, but it"s stunning. Breathtaking. In Faerie, we used illusions in battle, glamour to hide our identity, and even glamour for trickery amongst the courts. But this? It's almost as if Seven is honoring the magic. He's showing off its beauty, and in return, the magic is playing back. Not once have I thought about entertaining people with our fae illusions.

"Did you see that?" River cheers next to me when Seven throws a handful of what looks like sparkling stardust into the air as it hovers there.

"Welcome to the Black Cat Circus. I see just as many familiar faces as there are new ones in the crowd tonight. Thank you for joining us." Seven smirks as he places his top hat back onto his head and circles the stage, his shoes clicking as he walks.

Vaguely, I hear Seven give his introduction speech. I'm still distracted, trying to figure out how he could be this powerful when Coal appears on the stage next to Seven. The crowd goes wild. Seven bows and the tent goes dark again.

Then, just like in the practice tent, Coal's flame appears. Only this time, a steady thrumming music surrounds us. Coal begins moving his hips, slowly at first. When the music picks up speed, so does Coal, becoming one with the fire. They dance and sway together as if connected. It"s mesmerizing and beautiful.

I find myself entranced by the flame as my heart thrums to the beat of the drum.

River leans in, speaking directly into my ear. "You could do that, you know?"

"Sorry, little fox. I don't have that kind of rhythm." I chuckle, waving toward Coal.

River laughs. "No, I mean with your daggers and the blue flames. You can do a blade-throwing act."

I blink. Is that considered an act? There's no way it could be that easy. Then it hits me. River just admitted to watching me.

The memory of me throwing my faerie blades in the forest comes to mind. I knew he was there. At first, I thought I was being followed—used to hunters lurking in the corner—but then his scent traveled on the wind, and we knew it was our little fox. My kitsune preened over the idea of us being watched. I have to admit I liked showing off for our human, too.

A smile creeps back onto my sore cheeks. How much have I laughed and smiled today to make them feel this way?

"Will you tell me more about it after the show?" My heart races with excitement.

River nods eagerly, looking happy.

As Coal's act comes to an end, River and I stand, cheering and clapping the loudest. Seven reappears and introduces Brighton, just as an aerial hoop lowers to the stage. A cat brushes against my leg, and to my shock, I see Peanut hop into River's lap.

Brighton elegantly hooks his legs around the hoop and rises high into the air. River doesn't seem shocked that Peanut appeared out of nowhere. He just cuddles his brother to his chest like a stuffed animal and focuses on Brighton.

And again, I find myself smiling.