6. Wren

6

WREN

T he day had finally come for me to leave. I thought I had convinced myself enough that everything would be okay and there was no need to worry. I'd been doing fine, with the occasional mixed feelings about it all, but it all seemed to have come to a head this morning. My house was quiet. My candles that I always had burning were sitting untouched, and all the lights were off.

It felt real now.

I was leaving behind everything I've known, everyone I loved, and everything that gave me security. To say I was terrified would be an understatement.

The unknown.

The uncertainty.

Even if it wasn't forever. I'd be in a new state, a new environment, a new home for the next however long it would take.

With all my belongings packed away neatly into my car, I lingered around the comfort of my home for too long when I finally decided it was time to make my rounds of goodbyes. I knew that Alice would already be awake, so within a few short steps I was climbing up her front porch and lightly knocking on her door.

Seconds later she answered.

"Leaving already?" She opened her door and stepped outside. Still dressed in her nightgown, my eyes began to tear up a bit.

God, I was going to miss her.

"Yeah, I have to go say goodbye to Greg and Shelia, then get on the road." I nodded, trying my hardest not to fall apart.

"Okay, well, come here and give me a hug before you go."

Before she could even finish her sentence, I was already wrapping my arms around her.

"Make sure you have your phone on ringer so you can hear it when I call you." I sniffled into our hug. "And if you ever need anything, promise me that you'll call Greg or Shelia, okay?"

She chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know how to work my phone. And I'll be fine, don't worry about me, but If I need anything, I'll be sure to call them," she reassured me, and already I felt a little better about leaving.

I squeezed her a second longer before pulling away with a few tears streaming down my cheeks.

"I told myself I wouldn't cry today." I laughed while wiping beneath my eyes with my fingertips. "And yet, here I am, crying."

"There's no need for those tears, sweetheart, we'll all still be here once you get that man's head out of his ass."

I burst out in laughter.

"And don't forget what I told you. All that a misunderstood man needs in his life is a woman who will do her best to understand."

As much as I wanted to tell her that in no way did I ever want to understand Mal, I had chosen not to. Saying goodbye was already tough enough, and I didn't want to leave on a bad note.

So instead, I smiled and nodded.

"I'll miss you."

She then gave me her signature half grin that made my heart warm.

"I'll miss you too. Now, be careful and let me know when you make it."

I gave her one final hug and tearful goodbye, then we parted ways as I reluctantly got back into my car and drove to my last destination.

The Deckers'.

It didn't take long before I was pulling into their driveway with sweaty palms and a hammering heart. In the distance I even noticed their silhouettes standing outside on the porch waiting for my arrival.

Once I was parked, I got out of the car and made my way toward them with uneasy steps.

"You're here earlier than I thought you would be," Greg announced over the brim of his coffee cup.

"Couldn't sleep much, so I thought I'd get on the road earlier. Plus, I hate driving at night."

Stopping on the first step of the porch, I leaned my hip against the banister.

I hoped they couldn't see how nervous I was. I didn't want them to worry or have any doubts about me leaving, but standing here, I found it difficult to remain unfazed.

"And you're staying with Kate, right?" Shelia asked as she sat in a rocking chair, nibbling anxiously on her thumbnail.

"Yes." I smiled. "She and James are letting me stay with them however long I need to."

She nodded.

"You have everything you need? Clothes? Computer? Does your cardiologist know you'll be gone? Oh god, what if something… What if something happens when you're all the way in Seattle and we're not there…"

Greg immediately noticed the worry that his wife was expressing and quickly went over to her. Kneeling, he set his coffee down and placed both hands on her knees.

"Hey, look at me. She'll be okay," he reassured. "You see all those bags in the back of her car, that's all her clothes, her belongings, everything that she needs." He pointed over to my vehicle as Shelia's lip quivered. "And her cardiologist knows, baby. I called him the other day to make sure our girl would be okay to leave. I also checked her tires the other day and I made sure she was good on an oil change. You know I wouldn't let her go without making sure she would be okay, right?"

My breath had caught in my throat.

He really did all those things for me? To make sure that I would be okay?

My heart swelled in disbelief. I guess they really did love me…

Shelia lunged at Greg and wrapped him in a tight hug that almost sent them toppling over. I couldn't help but laugh.

"God, I love you so much." Shelia cried into the collar of his shirt as Greg rubbed his hand along her spine.

"I love you too. Now please, go give Wren that hug you couldn't stop talking about giving her."

He threw me a wink over his shoulder and let go of Shelia. The second she was back up on her feet, she flew over to me. Arms outstretched, face stained red, she pulled me into her embrace.

A memorable hug, to say the least.

"I'm so sorry, I just… I worry about you so much, Wren. I was doing fine until this morning when it hit me that you were leaving and I started to panic," she confessed. "I was half tempted to pack all my things and go with you, but Greg told me that I needed to stay here. It's just… It's hard letting you go. I don't want to say goodbye."

I held on to her tighter as my eyes shut.

"Then we won't say goodbye, how about that?" I offered. "We'll just say ‘I'll see you soon,' because I will. I'll be back before you know it, and hopefully with another person in tow."

"I'll see you soon," she repeated on a half laugh, half sob. "I like that."

"Me too." I burrowed deeper into her shoulder. "And I promise I'll be okay. It'll be good for me anyway. To see Kate, see a new place, reconcile…"

"I know," she said on a long, drawn-out huff. "If you ever need anything, or if it all becomes too much, come home, okay?"

Though I knew I wouldn't come back without Mal, I still nodded my head in agreement.

With a few more hugs and words, I was finally back in my car with both Greg and Shelia hovering beside the door.

"All good to go?" Greg asked as he placed a palm onto the door and leaned in closer to look at the dashboard on my car. I noticed as his eyes drifted over all the gauges as if double-checking everything again.

I couldn't help but smile.

Even though I was still a thirty-one-year-old woman, he was still looking out for me like you would a daughter.

"Yeah, I think so."

With my car running, directions up, and my seat belt on, I was finally ready. Physically, yes, but mentally, I wasn't so sure yet.

"Please be careful," Shelia begged from beside Greg. "And let us know as soon as you get there."

"You know I will."

On a choked-up cry, Shelia nodded and took a step back away from the car and began to wipe at her face again. I watched as she slowly retreated away from us before she disappeared back into the house, causing my stomach to twist painfully.

"She'll be okay," Greg reassured me and although I knew he was right, it still bothered me to see her like this.

Then mustering up as much courage as I had left, I set one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the gearshift before smiling somberly up at Greg.

"Well, I guess I should get going." My voice hiccuped on impact.

God, this sucked.

"Yeah, of course." He nodded and released the hold he had on my door. Then lowering himself to where he was now at eye level with me, he had spoken one final time. "We appreciate everything you're doing, Wren, I hope you know that. No matter what the outcome will be, just know that we're beyond grateful for you."

I didn't want to cry any more, but just like before, I couldn't help it. My emotions were all over the place and the sight of Greg with his eyes clouded in tears didn't make things any better either.