27. RJ

Chapter twenty-seven

RJ

T he wait to see my partners—and fuck the word partners feels amazing to use—is torture. Sarah teases me about my infatuation with whoever I'm messaging, but I don't tell her there are two people I'm crushing on.

Three days without them is too long. After spending the weekend with them multiple times, I wish every night was spent in their arms. Is it fast to be thinking of practically moving in with them? Sure. But I don't care. I talked to my therapist about my feelings, and it helped me process the mix of newness, lust, and happy chemicals from being around them.

The conclusion I have come to is knowing I have more than a crush on Gay and Cin, and there is nothing wrong with my feelings or desires.

When the time to see them is under an hour to go, I can't help sending a message to let Gay and Cin know I'm thinking of them.

Almost done for the day celebrating emoji when will you 2 get here?

"Staying the night again?" Sarah asks, gesturing to my overnight bag I've set on my desk.

"Yeah," I reply, unable to minimize my smile. I am happy, and I'm not afraid to show the fact off.

"Getting serious with this person? When do we get to meet them?" Sarah asks and I love how non-assuming she is about who I'm dating. I may also use they and them pronouns when talking about Cin or Gay and Cin together to be vague. The beauty is in how they can work for one or more people. No one needs to know.

"Maybe a little, and I'm not sure. They work at a law firm and have a busy schedule." I shrug and feel my phone buzz again. Pulling it out, I might squeal out loud when Cin says they're packing up and will be here soon.

"As long as they make time for you, and it seems like they do," Sarah points out.

"They really do," I nod to agree while replying, adding a kiss emoji because I'm feeling flirty.

With them, I'm pretty much always in a state of arousal, and I love the change. Feeling sexual helps me feel more comfortable in my skin.

Closing out my work screen and tidying my desk, I stand to get up when my desk phone rings. It might be my boss or a call I need to forward to her, so I answer on autopilot, " Fantasie Mode , RJ speaking."

"Hello, Mr. Merritt, there is someone at the front desk asking for you," the lobby receptionist tells me, and a thrill runs through me. Cin must have fibbed about how far away they were or maybe the text came through later than expected? "Do you want me to send–"

"No, I'll come down," I interrupt, reaching for my bag. "Thank you."

After hanging up, Sarah catches my eye. "Have a fun evening."

"Oh, I will," I waggle my eyebrows and wave on my way past her desk. "See you tomorrow!"

The elevator feels like it takes forever to arrive and I'm annoyed every time there is a stop to pick someone up, so I end up at the back behind a few others. My pocket buzzes and I pull it out to read, almost fumbling the device in my excitement, only to find it isn't Cin.

Unknown

i found u

Unknown

u should never underestimate me

The elevator door dings open and I'm pulled out of my shock. I feel a different kind of anticipation building when I have to wait for the other people to disperse as I try to crane my neck to see around them, trying to find my partners. Telling Gay and Cin about my ex was a big step for me, and it means I can message them.

Typing as I shuffle out behind the other people, who are having a loud conversation about the stock market, I let Cin know Kyle is messaging me. At least I think it's Kyle. I hope I'm wrong.

The crowd in front of me parts, but I don't see Gay's dark hair and welcoming smile or Cin's all black wardrobe on their small frame. Instead, I see a pale, blond man in a red t-shirt and designer jeans, leaning towards the annoyed-looking receptionist. His face is pinched and he's avoiding eye contact. I know the feeling well. I also know that body like the back of my hand, though I planned on never seeing him again.

Fucking Kyle.

Gay and Cin are nowhere to be found, and the realization that they weren't who the receptionist called about runs through me.

Cin said they were fifteen minutes away from leaving work about five minutes ago. So they may not leave for another ten minutes. It will take some time to drive over to me. Maybe I can get them to go faster?

i think he's here

A few of the stock guys are headed for the main entrance, drawing Kyle's attention. If I move fast, I can slip out the side door and steer clear of the asshole. He's breaking the restraining order by texting and coming to my work, no reason to give him a chance to break it by speaking to me.

Only a few steps into my mad dash, a janitor opens a side door in front of me. I pause to let him pass with a mop and rolling bucket, then cringe when the door slams closed behind the man automatically. Fuck, that was too loud.

Without looking back, I make a run for it, but it's too late.

"Riley Jean? RJ!" Kyle's voice rings out and I bristle at the use of my full name.

Only my family calls me that anymore. My nickname is RJ, and Kyle only ever used the long version when he was angry. I skirt the janitor, trying to get outside before he makes a scene. Footsteps slam on the marble floor and echo through the space, each one like a physical blow.

"Wait, I want to talk!"

Before I can reach for the handle and relative freedom, a thick hand grips my arm and stops me short of my goal. "No," I try to yell, but it comes out as a whisper. My body freezes at the memory of how he would pin me in place for a lecture with the same hand on my arm.

Staring down at his feet, I try the breathing techniques I learned. Shutting my eyes, I breathe in through my nose, counting to four. I hold my breath to count again, and exhale through my mouth.

"You can't run away when I want to talk to you," Kyle says as if we're still in a relationship. I focus on my breathing again, wishing he would leave me alone if I ignore him. He doesn't. "We lived together and you threw that away because your stupid sister got in the way?"

"No," I try again, but there's no energy behind the word. I breathe in and out again, trying to focus on how my body feels but I keep going back to his rough touch on my arm.

"And a fucking restraining order, really?" Kyle shakes me as he whispers these words and I finally look up at him. He looks mostly the same, but there are dark circles under his eyes, his facial hair is scruffier and he's in need of a haircut. Getting my attention seems to spur him on. "If you wanted me to chase you, I would have. You didn't need to involve the police."

"You wouldn't stop," I said by way of explanation, but like most of our relationship, Kyle heard what he wanted.

"No, I would never stop. You're mine."

"RJ?" A voice interrupts and I turn to find Sarah standing there with my boss and Frisco. Ana?s has her eyes narrowed at where Kyle is holding me, but she doesn't speak. Sarah tilts her head, "Is this who you're dating?"

"You're dating?" Kyle questions through gritted teeth before turning toward my colleagues with a fake smile. "We've been together for years. RJ and I lived together in San Francisco."

"We're not together," I mumble, unsure if anyone heard me. This moment is my worst nightmare, and I only know two people who can help me wake up.

Where are Cin and Gay?