9. RJ

Chapter nine

RJ

C in asking me out the day after meeting them in person is unexpected, but very welcome. Sarah tells me I'm glowing at work, and I can't help looking in the mirror and loving the smile on my face. I haven't had a first date in years.

Kyle took over my life and we stopped doing dates after only a couple months. I want the excitement for the newness back in my life. To go out with someone—or multiple someones—new and explore what can happen.

Friday drags but Saturday flies by in anticipation of going out with Cin and Gay. Cin and I chat about clothes and Gay adds me to a chat with both of them. They're going to pick me up and take me on a real date before the dungeon.

To my sister, I say I'm going out with two people I met on Wednesday, but not the three-person date or kink side of things. For one, I'm afraid she's going to tell me three months is not long enough to get over my ex. In truth, I fell out of love with him a while before. I didn't know how to end it, but I wasn't sad about the relationship ending. Pissed at myself for staying so long, but not sad.

My sister doesn't need to know about my kinky side. She didn't know about it with Kyle, and I know she'll worry if I tell her I'm into being spanked and treated roughly, followed by tender care. I know she'll equate my kinks to my abusive ex.

Being kinky is seen as common, like people are open about the shit they do in the bedroom, but it's a private choice for me. Even if I am interested in the exhibitionist aspects.

After going to a sleazy club in San Francisco with my ex, which was all about men getting off and ignoring the needs of the bottom, I thought I hated public play. In the months of being single, I got into watching porn again, and my favorites were the kinky ones with public scenes. I wanted to try it, at the very least.

All my sister needs to know is that I'm safe and happy. The fact that my joy is about playing at a dungeon in Boston for the first time, with a couple who I might want to get naked with, isn't her business.

As if summoning one of the objects of my desire, the chat thread lights up my phone and I rush to open the message.

Gay

Hey RJ, I wanted to check in. We talked about going with how we're feeling tonight, but do you know what you would need for aftercare?

Crap. I have no clue how to answer her. Kyle's version of aftercare was pulling out, tossing me a towel and telling me to clean up.

never really had aftercare before. I guess I want to be cared for?

My admission is typed and sent before I can second guess. Gay's dots appear and disappear, along with Cin's. I throw myself back on my bed and cover my head until I hear a reply. Sitting up, I take in her words.

Gay

It's good to try a few things and see how they make you feel. I suggest bringing a blanket or stuffed animal you like for tactile comfort. And I'll make sure you get whatever you ask for, whether or not we play.

My face heats, as a mix of embarrassment and affection rushes through me. I can feel her compassion and capable air in each word. I grab the old, blue-striped blankie from under my pillow and pull it close. Kyle hated it and I left it at my mom's for years. It's ragged and worn, but I spray it with lavender to keep it smelling like home.

Me: okay. I will.

Gay

We'll be there in twenty minutes, and I promise, one or both of us will be with you all night. If you want space, I only ask that you stay where we can see you to make sure you get home safely.

Twenty minutes is barely any time, so I put my complex emotions aside to make sure I'm ready. My place is a single room with a tiny attached bath, and I stuffed every square inch with clothes, so I only have to walk a few feet when the buzzer goes off to alert me I have a visitor.

I'll be right down!

Checking my hair and outfit one last time, I adjust the brown knit top to hang off one shoulder and grab my cross-body bag. My mom calls it a fanny pack, but I don't wear it over my hip like I've seen pictures of her doing in the nineties. My blanket is worn enough to fit inside with chapstick, wallet, and my phone, so I stuff them in together.

Rushing down the stairs, I make it to the ground floor and take a steadying breath. Opening the door, I find Cin leaning against the building in a tight black jumpsuit and chunky heels. They said I should dress comfy but cute, and dark colors are common for the dungeon. Cin certainly fits the brief, looking sinfully hot.

"Hey, you look good," Cin greets me with a grin, and we stand awkwardly in a way that tells me I'm not the only one full of nerves. They chew on their lip and I fiddle with an earring while we grin at each other and admire one another's clothing choices.

The mutual nerves and appreciation calms my mind and makes my heart race faster.

"Hi. You too," I tell them, meaning it. I rarely meet people who appreciate fashion like I do, and Cin also has their face done up to accentuate big, dark eyes and full lips.

"You ready to go? Gay couldn't find parking, so she's circling the block," Cin explains right as a hatchback pulls up to double park in front of my apartment building.

"Let's go."

Cin offers their hand and I take it, letting them lead me to sit in the front seat while they take the back. Gay greets me with a smile as she waits for me to buckle up.

"You said you like Asian food?" She confirms.

"Love it."

"Great, we're going to an Asian fusion place in South End with light plates and good cocktails," Cin tells me. "I'll text the link to you so you can check out the menu."

"South End is a neighborhood, right?" I ask, opening the link Cin sends to our group chat.

"It is, and the restaurant isn't far from the club or Randy's," Gay explains. "I figure we can walk from there so I only have to park once."

We fall into a companionable conversation while Cin tells me about the menu items they want to try and Gay navigates the streets of my new city. The energy is a mix of established neighborhood vibes and bustling metropolis, and I feel right at home. The most obvious difference is buildings being two to three hundred years older than anything I've seen in California.

Gay parks and offers her hand when we meet at the front of her car. I'm happy to take it and get our date officially started. Gay promised to keep an eye on me and I find the prospect thrilling. Her warm hand and Cin's presence on my other side gives me a sense of security.

"So what do you think you'll get to eat?" Cin asks, bouncing up the path to get the door for us.

"Not sure yet, but it all looks good."

The meal doesn't matter, because I'm already having more fun than I have in years.