Chapter 19

S tanding in front of the open patio doors in her office, Ella was thinking about how quickly the last year had flown by: Georgia, the comedian of the household, was running around at full toddler speed. Betty, now four, was coming more into her own each day. While she still had a ways to go, her book had finally taken shape and was more than halfway done. Suddenly, a knock on her office door jarred her back into the present. "Come in."

"I hope I'm not disturbing you," Joyce said as she stepped into the room.

"Not in the slightest. I love how the air changes at the start of autumn. I was just soaking it up. Are the girls back from their playdate at the orchard?"

"No, but I expect the sitter will bring them back any time now. If they come home with bags of apples, what would you like to do with them?"

"Oh, I was thinking I'd teach them how to make applesauce, and maybe a pie or muffins, depending on how many apples they have."

"Let me know if I can help. I just came to drop this off," Joyce said, handing her a piece of mail.

"Thank you," Ella replied. Joyce closed the door behind her as she left, and Ella looked down at the return address. She inhaled deeply, then tore open the envelope, removed the letter, and quietly read it aloud.

"Dear Ms. Sinclair, Congratulations! The University of Cambridge is pleased to inform you that you have been chosen as our Spring Philosophy Fellow . . ." Her eyes instantly welled up. She took a breath, gazed around her beautiful office, a big room designed to inspire big ideas, looked back down at the letter she clutched in her hand, and stood perfectly still, savoring the moment.

The quiet was broken with another knock on the door. Joyce peeked her head in. "Sorry to disturb you again. The sitter just pulled up with the girls."

Ella blinked away her tears of joy and slipped the letter into her pocket. "On my way."

A few hours later, Ella and the girls were in the backyard playing ring-around-the-rosy. They all tumbled to the ground just as Finn approached the joyful scene.

"Well, this is a cheery sight. How are my girls?" he asked.

Betty jumped up and ran over to him, tugging his hand to come join the fun. Georgia stood up and started shaking with excitement from her head to her toes. "Dada! Dada!" she screeched, her little toddler body unable to contain her unabashed joy.

"Hello, little peach," he said, scooping her up, tickling her belly, and kissing the top of her head. He carefully set her down and gave Ella a delicate kiss. "Hi, love. How was your day?"

"It was great. The girls had a blast at the orchard. You should probably start calling Georgia your little ham instead of your little peach. I heard she was a riot at the playdate, trying to make everyone laugh, as usual. I also heard Betty was an angel, helping all the little ones. We made all kinds of treats with the apples they brought back. Oh, and I have something to tell—"

"Dada! Dada!" Georgia said, pulling on his pants, then tugging at his hand.

"I think she wants you to take a spin with us," Ella said with a wink.

They all held hands and sang "Ring Around the Rosy," toppling to the ground in laughter. The girls crawled on top of Finn, Georgia giggling hysterically and Betty blabbering a mile a minute about their apple-picking excursion. "We made a pie too. Mommy said we can have it with ice cream for dessert," Betty said.

"Speaking of ice cream, I have some pretty big news," Finn announced. He looked at Ella lying in the grass beside them and asked, "How would you feel about spending a couple of months in Italy?"

She raised her eyebrows.

Georgia squealed.

Finn laughed, picked up Georgia, and held her up in the air above his body. "We might just be going to Italy to have gelato."

"'Lato!" Georgia repeated.

"What's that, Daddy?" Betty asked.

"It's the best ice cream in the world. I like chocolate, and your mommy likes mint chocolate chip," he said, glancing over at Ella. "What flavors do you think you'll try?"

"Strawberry and vanilla," Betty said thoughtfully.

"So, what's this all about?" Ella asked.

"I was offered the lead in a film with a director I've been itching to work with. It's shooting in Rome in March and April. How fantastic is that?" Ella smiled faintly and he continued, "With Betty starting school next September, this is the last time we can take advantage of a location shoot outside of summers. What do you think?"

Ella looked at him holding their girls, both bursting with joy, so much love and affection between them all. Suddenly, she saw flashes of their life, like a film reeling through her mind: the soul-shattering hurt on his face when she ended their relationship, the hope in his eyes when he proposed, the curve of his lips when he read a script in bed, the first sonogram image of Betty, the resolve in his eyes when he contemplated quitting acting, Betty sound asleep on his chest, Georgia safe in his arms. Ella swore she could still feel his breath on her cheek the first time they danced, his fingers woven into her hair after they made love, the warmth of his arm around her pregnant belly when she lay in bed crying, his kiss on the back of her head. As the feelings took hold, it was as if there was a soundtrack to the film in her mind. She could hear the sound of their cries when Betty was born, and Georgia's insatiable laughter.

As the vision faded, Finn touched her hand. "Ella? You look like you're a million miles away. What do you say to Italy, baby?"

She swallowed the lump in her throat and softly said, "It sounds great."

A FEW DAYS LATER, FINN WAS GETTING a glass of water when Marni walked into the kitchen.

"Hey," he said. She glanced at him but didn't respond, so he asked, "How's the philosophy club meeting going?"

"Fine," she replied in a brisk tone. "Ella asked me to grab another box of crackers for our cheese board."

"Here, I'll get it," he said, retrieving a box from the cabinet and handing it to her.

"Thanks," Marni grumbled.

"You'll be at Ella's birthday party next week, right?"

"Yeah."

"It's just what Ella wanted: dinner with our closest friends. My parents are watching the kids," Finn said. "The tapas restaurant we're going to is great. I reserved a dimly lit private room with lots of ambiance, and they're decorating the table with an ornate tablecloth, flowers, boatloads of candles, and these little gold-colored globes I found as take-home gifts. Don't tell Ella. I wanted to surprise her and make it special the way she always does."

She snorted loudly, turning to walk away.

"Marni, is everything okay?" he asked. "Have I done something to offend you?"

She swiveled around on her heel and stared daggers at him. "I've been trying very hard to bite my tongue. I always knew you were too good to be true. I let my skepticism go and believed you actually loved Ella for who she is and that you made her happy. I was totally on Team Finn. Now you fucking do this. I can't believe you, after how she's followed you around the world to film set after film set, supporting your career, taking care of your children, putting her own work aside." She rolled her eyes. "I should have known all along. You're just like all the rest."

He furrowed his brow in confusion. "I have no clue what you're talking about."

"The fellowship. The University of Cambridge. I guess to you it's nothing in comparison to making millions of dollars for a movie, but for a philosopher, it's the most prestigious fellowship in the world. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. The odds of actually getting it out of the hundreds who apply are unfathomable."

"Are you saying Ella was invited to the University of Cambridge?"

Marni stood silently for a moment. She huffed and said, "Wow, I guess she didn't tell you. I just assumed . . ."

"Please just tell me what's going on," Finn implored her.

"Ella received a fellowship for the upcoming spring semester. It's to finish her philosophical treatise on love, which you know she's been writing for years. It comes with an award, an office, the opportunity to deliver a series of lectures, and lots of other perks. It's basically the most coveted opportunity for philosophers the world over, not to mention a real chance to complete the most important book of her career."

He shook his head, trying to process what he was hearing. "That's amazing. She never said a thing about this to me. Maybe she's not interested?"

"Finn, this didn't fall out of the sky. She applied for it more than six months ago."

"I don't understand. I . . ."

"She said that she turned it down because you have some film project and that it's the last chance for you to take location jobs outside of summers since Betty starts school in the fall, and you agreed you'd always keep your family together."

Finn inhaled deeply and ran a hand through his hair. "I honestly had no idea."

"I can see that," Marni said. "Listen, I'm sorry I jumped down your throat. I just assumed . . ."

"It's fine. Please don't mention this to Ella."

Marni nodded.

THE EVENING OF ELLA'S BIRTHDAY DINNER, she emerged from the bathroom wearing a lavender silk dress, her lips shimmering, an iridescent shine on her cheeks, and her wild mane flowing freely. "Wow! You are absolutely stunning," Finn said, kissing her softly.

She smiled. "I guess happiness does that to a person."

He took her hand and cupped her cheek. "Are you happy, Ella? Are you truly happy?"

"Well, of course, silly. I have you."

Finn smiled. "You do have me. Always. You know that, right?"

"Yes," Ella said, smiling. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing. I love you so much. Sometimes I just want to be sure you know that."

"I do," she replied.

He kissed her forehead. "Shall we go, sweetheart?"

ELLA COULDN'T STOP SMILING AS SHE looked at Finn across the beautifully set, candlelit table, surrounded by a dozen of their closest friends, all happily chatting. Waiters cleared the dinner dishes and refilled everyone's water and champagne glasses.

Lauren picked up her globe, turned to Ella, and said, "We're doing it. We're finally taking that trip to Paris. We leave tomorrow for a two-week trip."

"Oh, wow! That's wonderful. Are you bringing Sophie?"

Lauren shook her head. "My folks are watching her."

"Actually, we have some news, but we don't want to steal the spotlight," Michael said.

"Don't be silly. Tell us. Hey, everyone," Ella said. "Michael and Lauren have news to share." She turned to Michael. "Go on."

He put his arm around Lauren and announced, "We got married last weekend. We're going to Paris on our honeymoon."

"Oh my goodness. Congratulations!" Ella exclaimed.

"Wow! That's awesome. Congratulations," Finn said, holding up his glass. "It's about fucking time."

Their friends laughed and raised their glasses. There was a hearty chorus of "Cheers" and "Congratulations."

"We went to city hall. It was just us and Sophie. We wanted to keep it private," Lauren explained.

"It sounds lovely. I'm so happy for you both," Ella said.

"I owe you one, Ella," Michael said. "The things you said to me in Sweden helped me find my way back to Lauren, my true love, my better half."

Lauren blushed.

"You two are a great couple. What the hell took you so long?" Finn asked.

"Honestly, I was scared shitless of commitment, of marriage. I thought it would stifle me or make my world smaller somehow," Michael said. "A couple of months ago, Sophie asked me why her mom and I weren't married, and I couldn't think of a good answer. The question stuck in my mind. I replayed the years I spent without them and then the last several years with them, and it was suddenly clear as day. Lauren brings out the best in me. She makes me more of what I can be, not less." He leaned over and kissed her cheek. He looked back at Finn and continued, "It's like you and Ella. She wasn't exactly the settling-down type either. I figured that if marriage could be so good for you, we should give it a shot too. I even sold my condo."

"We're thrilled for you," Finn said. He looked at Lauren and jokingly added, "Michael is definitely getting the better end of the deal. We'd tell you you're too good for him, but you already know it. Don't take any of his shit. Keep him on a tight leash, and if you need me to corral him, say the word."

Lauren and Michael both laughed.

Just then, a waiter walked in carrying an enormous blueberry pie with a candle in the center. Ella gasped when she saw it. Everyone began singing "Happy Birthday." When they finished, someone yelled, "Make a wish!"

Ella glanced around the table, but her eyes lingered on Finn. She took a deep breath and blew out the candle. Everyone clapped. The waiter took the pie back to the kitchen to prepare servings. Ella looked at Finn and said, "I can't believe you got blueberry pie. Thank you."

He smiled, rose, and held up his glass. "I'd like to say a few words about my beautiful wife on the anniversary of her birth." Everyone turned to him. "Ella is truly magnificent in every way. She's funny, smart, generous, kind, and damn sexy. I was bowled over the moment I met her. Fell in love with her so quickly, so deeply. Every day since, that love has grown. Hell, I still blush every time she walks into a room." Ella smiled, her eyes becoming misty. "She's my partner in everything. My lover, my best friend, my confidant, my family, my co-parent. God, she's the most extraordinary mother." Finn stopped to just stare at her with unadulterated love. "The words don't exist to adequately capture what a privilege and joy it's been going through two pregnancies with her, or the immense awe and gratitude I've felt watching her bring our girls into the world. They are so lucky to have her. She's so patient, creative, and loving. I know she's the best parent they could ever have because she sees them and loves them for exactly who they are. I love them because they're little pieces of her." Ella could no longer hold back the tears, which began falling down her cheeks. Lauren handed her a tissue.

Ella sniffled and smiled at Finn through her tears. "And as if that's not impressive enough," Finn said, "she's also one of the premier philosophers of her generation, as most recently evidenced by her acceptance as Fellow to the University of Cambridge, the most coveted award of its kind." Ella's eyes widened with surprise as everyone clapped. She tried to choke back her tears as she and Finn gazed into each other's eyes.

When everyone settled down, Finn continued. "So, we won't be around this spring because we're going to England. I've rented us a little two-bedroom, thatched-roof cottage in the countryside near the university. I'll be taking care of our girls while Ella finishes her masterpiece about love. And if Ella is game, we'll continue on to our home in France for the summer, where she can keep writing and the girls and I can roll around in the grass. If you'll all please raise your glasses, here's a toast to my spectacular wife, the woman I worship and adore, the one and only love of my life. To Ella."

"To Ella!" they all repeated.

Waiters scurried into the room, serving everyone hearty slices of blueberry pie topped with dollops of whipped cream, while Finn made his way over to his bride. She pulled him into the corner, tears streaming down her face. He gently wiped them away and rested his hands on her cheeks. She could hardly speak. Eventually, in a faint voice, she asked, "How . . ."

"Marni told me. She thought I knew. I called the university, and they said it wasn't too late to accept the offer."

"I can't believe you did that."

"I'm so proud of you, Ella," Finn said. "You are extraordinary. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to have to choose."

"Oh, sweetheart. Don't you remember? I already did. I choose you. I choose us. Always."