Chapter 16

" E lla, where are you?" Finn called as he came through the door one afternoon.

"Up here," she replied.

Finn bounded up the stairs and found her in their bedroom closet. "Hi, sweetheart," he said.

"Hey, you," she said, smiling brightly.

"What are you doing?"

"Organizing the closet. Now that I'm well into my third trimester," she replied, patting her growing belly, "it's time to give up the ghost and put the crop tops in the back. The maternity dresses and jumpers belong up front."

He smiled faintly. "Where's Betty?"

"At a playdate. The sitter should be bringing her home in about an hour. I'm a bit surprised to see you; you're back from the meeting with your agent kind of early."

He took a deep breath and said, "I need to talk to you, sweetheart."

"What's wrong?" she asked, her expression turning serious.

"Come here, love," he said, taking her hand and leading her to the love seat.

"Finn, you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, baby," he said, stroking her cheek. "Two days ago, a man claiming to be your father contacted my agent in an attempt to get in touch with you." Her eyes went wide as he continued, "I didn't want to say anything until we had confirmed whether it was really him. His story checks out. He's your father."

"Oh my God," she mumbled. Her eyes fell to her lap and she sat perfectly still, processing what she'd heard. After a long moment passed, she looked into Finn's eyes and asked, "Do you know what he wants?"

"Only that he wants to see you. He claims he's been trying to get in touch with you for over a year. His messages probably got mixed up with my fan mail."

"Do you have a way to contact him?"

Finn reluctantly pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to her. "That's his cell phone number. Ella, are you actually thinking about reaching out?"

"I . . . I . . ." He cupped her cheek and she said, "I'm in shock. But . . ."

"What, love?"

"He's my father. If he wants to see me . . ."

"Sweetheart, he abandoned you. Why would you give him the time of day?"

"I don't know the whole story, only what my mother has told me. Maybe there's another side to it."

"As a father, I can't see how. There's no circumstance under which I wouldn't be in my child's life. It's incomprehensible. Inexcusable."

"For all we know, my mother pushed him away," Ella said. "We always moved around a lot, so maybe he didn't even know where to find me when I was growing up."

"Then why hasn't he gotten in touch with you in all the years since?"

"Maybe he tried to. My mother could have prevented him, or . . ."

"Ella," he whispered.

"What? Why won't you give him the benefit of the doubt?" She paused as her eyes welled up. "You don't know what it's like. You have two wonderful parents who have always been there for you," she said as she began to cry. "Our children have that too. Why won't you give me a chance to have even a little bit of that?"

"Baby, I told you about this as soon as we confirmed it's him. I'm not preventing anything, but . . ."

"It's like you're poisoning it from the start, like you can't see how this could be a good thing. A gift. For me, for our kids."

"Honestly, I'm surprised," Finn said. "This isn't the reaction I expected. I didn't think you'd want anything to do with him. You've never been . . ."

"What? A pushover?"

"No, baby. You're just so shrewd and discerning. You expect a lot from people, and rightfully so. Trust has always been hard-earned for you. Hell, you didn't even trust me in the beginning."

"Maybe I'm different now. Being with you, our kids," she said, holding her belly. "I don't know how to just clamp off my feelings anymore. They leak. When you open your heart, it's not so easy to close it again, and I'm not sure I'd want to."

He looked at her lovingly and caressed her cheek. "Sweetheart, it's just . . ."

"What?" she asked.

"Of all the ways he could have gotten in touch with you, he did it through my agent."

"So?"

"Doesn't that strike you as suspicious?"

"Maybe it's the only way he could find me."

"Baby, he could have reached out to your mother or your publisher," Finn said. "The fact that he went through my agent makes me question his motives. He didn't get in touch with you for decades, but now, when he obviously knows we're married . . ."

"You think this is because you're famous?"

"I've been through this kind of thing before. Fame and money are very seductive to a lot of people. Celebrity can lure all types to come crawling out of the woodwork. I would feel terrible if that's what's happening here."

"We don't know that it is. Besides, the whole world has known about our relationship for years. If fame were the lure, don't you think he would have tried to contact me after our engagement or our wedding?" Ella said. "Both were splashed across newspapers and magazines around the world. We were kind of hard to avoid for a while there."

"There could be a reason why he waited until now, something he wants. Who knows? The whole thing makes me uneasy."

"Finn, he's my father. If there's any chance that he sincerely wants me in his life . . ."

"Ella . . ."

"Please just leave me alone," she said, rising.

"Sweetheart," he said, taking her hand.

She let go. "Please. I need some time by myself."

Finn stood up and gave her a peck. "I'm sorry if I said something wrong. I'm only trying to look out for you. I love you."

"I know."

AFTER HE LEFT THE ROOM, ELLA wandered over to her keepsake chest. She opened it and retrieved the teddy bear her father had given her the last time she saw him. She crawled into bed, holding the ragged toy close to her body and trying to breathe.

An hour later, there was a tap on the door. Ella turned to look as Finn walked in with Betty in his arms. "Someone came home and wanted to see you," he said.

"Mommy!" Betty exclaimed.

"Come here, sweet girl," she said.

"Let's have a family snuggle," Finn suggested, climbing into bed and putting Betty between them.

"Did you have fun?" Ella asked.

Betty nodded enthusiastically. "We made rainbow cookies and played dress-up. I was a princess. My dress was blue."

"That sounds like fun," Ella said.

"Ooh, teddy bear," Betty said, grabbing the plush toy. "Mine."

"Sweetheart, that's special to your mommy," Finn explained. "Let's give it back to her, and after we snuggle, we can get a teddy bear from your room. Okay?"

"Okay," Betty agreed with a little pout, releasing the toy.

Ella looked at Finn and mouthed, "Thank you."

"ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ME to go with you?" Finn asked.

"I'm sure," Ella replied, slinging her handbag on her shoulder.

"If it's because of how I reacted yesterday, then . . ."

"It's not."

"I'm worried about you," Finn said.

"I can take care of myself."

He took her hand, caressing her skin. "Baby, you haven't seen your father in over thirty years. That would be a lot for anyone, no matter the circumstances. It has the potential to be . . ." He trailed off, as if the words alluded him.

"What?" she asked.

"Emotional. Stressful." He shook his head. "I don't know what, and you don't either. How could you?"

"Finn, he's my father and he wants to reconnect, maybe get to know me. Besides, it's just lunch at a diner. I'll be fine. Please stop poisoning it."

"That's not what I'm trying to do. I'm just concerned. I'm afraid he's going to hurt you, disappoint you. Every part of me is screaming to protect you. Ella, you're pregnant. I'm worried that if it's upsetting—"

"Finn, please. The baby and I will be fine," Ella insisted. "You're only acting this way because you've already made up your mind that he's a dirtbag who doesn't really care about me, that he's only using me. I'm choosing to be hopeful, choosing to have an open heart. I have to go or I'll be late."

He put his hand on her cheek and gave her a gentle kiss. "I'll be here for anything you need. From the bottom of my heart, I hope it goes the way you want it to. You deserve only good things, Ella. I love you."

ELLA WALKED THROUGH THE RESTAURANT door, the chime ringing in her ears as her pulse quickened. She immediately spotted her father sitting in a booth by the window, nervously running his hand through his dyed brown hair. Her heart continued to race as she approached, and he rose to greet her.

"Hi. Wow," he said, doing a double take. "You look so much like your mother in person, even more than in photos."

"Hi," she said. "I'm not sure what to do, or even what to call you."

He put one hand on her shoulder and gave her an awkward peck on the cheek. They sat down opposite each other. "Call me Bruce," he said.

A waitress came over and asked, "Can I get you something to drink, honey?"

"An orange juice, please," Ella replied.

"Coffee for me, black," Bruce added. He turned to Ella and said, "It's hard to know where to begin."

"Why did you leave?" He looked at her blankly, as if totally unprepared for the question. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to blurt that out, but . . ."

"Carmen and I . . ."

"My mother."

"Yes. Your mother and I ended our relationship. She's a very seductive woman. I didn't know what hit me when we met. The affair came out of left field. It was a fiery relationship from the start. Lust. Passion. Eventually, that faded. Plus . . ." He got quiet as the waitress delivered their drinks.

"Are you two ready to order?" the waitress asked.

"We need some time, please," Ella replied. She looked at Bruce. "You were saying."

"The relationship just naturally fizzled with Carmen, your mother. Plus, I was married. I needed to try to make it work with my wife."

"But why did you leave me ?" she asked.

He squirmed a bit before saying, "You had your mother. My wife and kids needed me."

Her eyes fell to her lap and she leaned back in her seat, away from him. "I was your kid too," she mumbled.

"Yes, but you know what I mean. I had never lived with you. You didn't depend on me, like my family did."

Ella took a sip of her juice to buy a moment to gather her thoughts. "How many kids do you have?"

"Two. My daughter is five years older than you, and my son is—well, he's just about your age."

"So, you were . . ."

"Sleeping with my wife when I was seeing your mother. It was complicated. We're all grown-ups. I'm sure you can understand."

She shook her head as if trying to make sense of what she was hearing. "You said you have two kids. I guess that's how you think about it, but you have three. You have me too."

"Yes, of course. But you know what I mean. Two kids I raised."

"Do they know about me? Do they know they have a half sister?"

Bruce sighed. "My wife never found out about the affair with your mother, so . . ."

"I see," she said.

"Would you like to see pictures of them?" he asked. Ella nodded, and he scrolled through his cell phone before handing it to her. "That's my daughter with her husband and their two kids. The next one is my son. Still a bachelor."

She slid the phone back to him. "So, you have grandkids."

"Yes, lights of my life."

Ella's eyes began to well up, but she used all her might to hold it in.

Bruce reached his hand across the table and put it over hers. She flinched a little but didn't pull away. "Look, Ella, I know I wasn't there for you when you were growing up. I'm sorry you didn't have a proper father figure and for the pain that must have caused. I'd like to be in your life now. I was hoping we could get to know each other, maybe become friends, if you're willing to give me a chance. I could even try to be a father to you if that's something you'd like." She took a breath. "How far along are you?" he asked.

"About thirty weeks," she replied, rubbing her belly. "We're having a girl. Her name is Georgia. She was conceived when my husband was working outside of Atlanta, so when we found out I was pregnant, we started calling the baby our little Georgia peach. When we learned she's a girl, the name Georgia was the natural choice. Our daughter Betty is two and three-quarters. She's very specific about her age. She's excited to be a big sister."

"That's a great age. My oldest couldn't wait for her little brother, but then she got jealous once he came." Ella smiled half-heartedly. "Do you have a picture of Betty?" he asked.

"Sure," she replied, reaching for her cell phone. She opened an album of family photos, and he zipped through them.

"She's beautiful. She has curls just like you and your mother, but so blonde," he said. "Tell me about her."

"She's a lot like her father. She's a romantic, obsessed with fairy tales and make believe, and she loves art. They're both very thoughtful about things too, whereas I'm more spontaneous. It's funny because I was in labor with her forever. Now that I know her, I'm convinced she was just taking her time. I can already tell that Georgia has a different personality. Sometimes when I get the hiccups, she gets them too, totally out of sync with mine. Something tells me she's got a good sense of humor. I'm wondering whether she'll be more like me," she said, touching her belly. "But if they both take after their father, I won't complain."

"He's a terrific actor. I've seen many of his films."

"He loves performing, storytelling."

"I'd love to meet him sometime. Actually, I have a business venture he might be interested in. I'm investing in a chain of modern karaoke bars throughout Asia. We've been looking for another investor, and a spokesperson."

Ella's heart sank. She couldn't move and could hardly breathe.

The waitress returned and asked, "Are you two ready to order?"

"My daughter first. Ella, what are you having?" Bruce said.

FINN AND BETTY WERE SITTING ON THE floor playing when Ella walked through the front door. "Mommy's home!" Betty said.

Finn looked up and saw the anguish in Ella's eyes. She looked at them both and then quickly scurried upstairs without a word.

A few minutes later, after setting Betty up to watch a cartoon, Finn went upstairs, letting himself into their bedroom. Ella was lying in bed, crying softly. He crawled behind her and draped his arm over her. "I'm here, baby," he whispered, kissing the back of her head.

"You were right," she whimpered.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I'm so sorry."

"He doesn't care about me at all," she sputtered in between her cries. "He hasn't thought about me in all these years, probably not even once. He was only interested in getting to you, to use your celebrity for some stupid business venture."

Finn inhaled deeply. "I'm so sorry."

Ella sniffled and said, "It was so humiliating. Worst of all, I just sat there like a fool. I didn't want him to see how hurt I was. And I was too embarrassed to come home and face you."

"Oh, baby. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm so sorry I made you feel that way. Please, let me see your face." She turned toward him, and he used his thumbs to gently wipe away the wetness under her eyes. "Ella, I was wrong. What you did today was incredibly courageous. I'm in awe of you. There's nothing to regret now because you were brave enough to lead with an open heart. I hope our girls are just like you."

"Wow, you really are a good actor."

"Oh, sweetheart," he said, cradling her in his embrace.