Chapter Eight

Ash

‘ Already Numb ' by Dayseeker blares through the van, trying to drown out the noise of my racing thoughts as I drive, the wind whipping my hair around. But even the music is not enough to escape the suffocating grip of my mind.

Not knowing where I'm headed, I've been driving away from Perry for two days, watching the scenery change outside my window. I've made spontaneous decisions at every intersection, selecting the road that seemed most appealing to me at the moment. It's been liberating, a sensation of lightness filling my being for the first time in years, as I focus solely on my own well-being, leaving behind the heavy burden of Mom. With each mile further away from Perry, it sinks in just how much my anxiety for her held me captive.

Along my journey, I've discovered countless towns that I wouldn't have had the chance to visit if I'd stayed. Each time I top up on gas or stop for a warm meal, however, the reality sinks in that I'm alone.

When I made a pit stop in Addison last night, I couldn't ignore the lingering stares directed my way. It was understandable, considering the dark, bruised marks that marred my face. Deciding not to hang around, I grabbed a pizza to take with me and parked myself near a peaceful river for the night. Fortunately, I have the snacks I bought a few days ago and the ones Jim packed for me, so I can drive today without stopping. Whilst looking for a hoodie in my bag last night, I found a sealed envelope addressed to me. Inside were a note from Jim and some cash. The note is now ingrained in my memory after reading it repeatedly last night.

Ash,

I'm sorry that leaving town became necessary for you, but I fully grasp the understanding behind your choice. Remember, our home is your home, and you're always welcome to come back to Jace and me. Getting to know you over the years has been a genuine pleasure, and I have come to think of you as a son. You're an exceptional young man, gifted with a remarkable musical talent. Your incredible human nature shines through in your kindness and friendship with Jace. Your strong work ethic will serve as a solid foundation for your promising future.

Don't let anyone's words diminish your goodness, Ash.

Here's your pay for the month, plus a little extra to get you through. Wishing you the best of luck as you embark on your new adventure. I hope you find what you're seeking, be it love, adventure, or a sense of peace.

Please stay in touch and let me know how you're getting on.

Stay safe.

With love,

Jim

I swipe at a lone tear on my cheek. I felt guilty for abandoning him with no one to work my job, but he reassured me he would find a replacement and told me not to worry. Saying goodbye to Jace was the most difficult, as I'd never witnessed him cry before, but I could tell he was holding back as I drove off. Jace is my best friend, and I know that no matter what happens, nothing will ever break that bond. In my darkest moments, he was the one who never gave up on me, always there by my side. Even though he's not here now, I have to find the strength to keep moving forward, despite the emptiness I feel. I've sent him a text at every stop along the way, ensuring he knows I'm safe. But I'm determined to carve out a new life for myself.

As I travel down a country road, I lower the music playing, coming to the conclusion I'm lost. Probably made a wrong turn somewhere, even though I didn't have a particular destination in mind. Deciding to pull over and review the map on my phone, I'm skeptical about the accuracy of these apps, since my phone is an older model. Getting out of the van, I look around for any signs. It's peaceful here, with lush green grass and pretty flowers. I swear I can hear water, even though I can't see it. Walking back two hundred yards, I spotted a big white sign.

WELCOME TO HOPE

Reading the sign again, I can't help but feel a sense of promise. This place is giving me a good feeling and I could really use some hope right now. After getting back into my van, I continue driving along the road until I reach a quaint, peaceful town. The sight of Liquid Hope, a bar barricaded with caution tape, piques my curiosity, leaving me wondering what happened there. Noticing a small grocery store, I pull over and park my van. A cold drink would hit the spot right now. The weather's been great today, not too hot, just perfect for a T-shirt.

I chuckle to myself at the clever name of the store, Shop for Hope. It appears they all enjoy using the name of the town in the businesses around here. Just as I'm about to push open the door, another sign catches my eye.

If you find yourself hungry and short on money, you can trade your labor for a meal.

Ask inside for Marie.

If that's not a clear sign for me to enter, I don't know what is. My cash won't last forever; the least I can do is check it out. Stepping inside, I'm welcomed by a woman in her forties, her shoulder-length brown hair framing her smiling face. Her red apron has a name tag affixed to it, making it easy to identify her. Marie.

With a cheerful tone, she greets me, "Hey there, how are ya doing today?"

"Hey. So, um, you're Marie."

Her eyes flicker from her name tag to meet my gaze before confirming, "Yes, that'll be me. How can I help you?"

I have to give it to her—if she's bothered by the bruises on my face, she doesn't show it.

"The sign on the door. For, you know, helping out in exchange for food. Is that still available?"

"Honey, it's a 365-days-a-year thing, and you're in luck because I could really use some help with sorting out the storage room. Are you good at lifting?"

"Yeah, I used to work in a salvage yard, so I'm used to moving heavy stuff."

"Excellent. Follow me to the office, where I'll just need to check your ID and get you to fill out a form."

I'm hesitant to follow her. What is the reason for her kindness? Are people really this nice to strangers? It seems too good to be true.

"It's all right, sweetie. I assure you, I don't bite. We just need to go over some standard procedures. How about you grab a cold drink from the cooler and join me in the office?"

As she walks away, the thought of hightailing it out of there crosses my mind, but the promise of free food makes me stay rooted. My stomach grumbles, making up my mind for me. So, I go grab a soda and walk in the direction Marie went.

This feels surreal. I can't help but wonder if the friendliness extends to everyone in this town. Maybe my familiarity with life in ‘poor Perry' has conditioned me to expect a world where everyone looks out for themselves, and nothing is given freely.

I need to remind myself that I'm no longer there; I'm here in Hope. With each step forward, I feel the weight of my past shedding away, making room for the new me to emerge. I head into the office, finding Marie waiting for me.

"Please have a seat. What can I call you?"

Taking a seat in the old worn leather chair across from her desk. "Ash."

"Allow me to formally introduce myself, then. I'm Marie Hammond. My husband Dan and I, whom you'll likely meet later, are the proud owners of this store, and our daughter Daisy is away at college right now. Dan and I have a strong commitment to helping others in their time of need. That's why there's a sign posted on the door. I'm curious to know what brings you to Hope today… if you don't mind sharing. Or is that too personal?"

Not sure how much to share with a stranger, but Marie has been nothing but nice to me so far. Nervously, I rub the back of my neck and decide to stick to the basics. "I left my hometown in search of a fresh start and unexpectedly found myself here after taking a wrong turn."

"It seems to me what could've been a wrong turn ended up being the right one, as it brought you to me. This is a friendly town; we hope you'll give us a chance—pun intended," she says with a wink.

Her smile is so contagious, even I can't resist smiling. "Can I ask you something?"

"You sure can."

"Why would you help me? Someone you don't know. I could be a bad person."

Resting her elbows on her desk, her hands clasped together under her chin, she says, " Are you? A bad person, I mean."

"Well, I guess that depends on who you ask."

"I'm asking you."

"I don't believe I'm a bad person."

"Well, that makes two of us, then." She has a genuine smile for me. "Just as I mentioned before, we have a commitment to do our due diligence and actively contribute to our community. Whenever someone requires help, we are more than willing to step up. We've all had moments in our lives when we've needed a helping hand. And remember, I'll be expecting you to give your all and contribute your fair share."

Meeting Marie has given me hope again, reminding me that there're good people in the world. "Thank you for helping me."

"You're welcome. Let's start with the basics. Do you have any ID on you? I saw you pull up outside, so I'm wondering if you have a driver's license."

I reach into my pocket, grab my wallet, and give her the card.

"Ashley Ray Sanders," she says while entering my name into her computer. "Please excuse me while I fill out the employee volunteer form to track your hours." Opening the desk drawer, she takes out a red card with the store's name on the front, resembling a gift card.

"We calculate the total hours worked each day, and then you'll swipe this card at the end of your shift, and it will add to your store credit. You'll find the machine right next to where you punch in and out. You can use it to buy anything you want in the store, as long as it doesn't exceed the added value. Does that sound good to you?"

"Sure, that sounds great. But what if I don't stick around? What if I move on?"

"You can simply leave the card on my desk with no questions asked, and if you ever return, your card will be here waiting for you."

"Is it common for people to be as nice as you are?" This is all new to me, kindness.

"Well, I certainly hope so."

As she's clicking away at the computer, I take in the small room with its simple furnishings—a desk, two chairs on either side, and a potted plant placed next to the computer on the left side of the table. On the shelf, there are various knick-knacks, including a stress ball shaped like an eggplant. Hanging on the wall behind her is a picture of a young girl, her bright eyes and playful smile captured in a moment and frozen in time. Probably her daughter. Next to it, there is another photo of Marie, the girl, and a man who I assume is Dan, her husband. Their expressions exude pure happiness, and you can see the love emanating from them. A mix of pain and envy washes over me, at seeing two parents' love for their child, something I haven't felt in a very long time, prompting me to rub my chest gently, attempting to soothe myself. When I lower my gaze, I notice Marie looking at me with a worried expression.

"I don't mean to pry, but can I ask how you got those bruises?"

Shame washes over me like a tidal wave as I brace myself for the expected judgment. Finding myself standing about to leave, Marie intercepts me, raising her hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep. Please stay. I just wanted to make sure you're okay and out of harm's way."

With a defeated sigh, I swallow what's left of my pride and reluctantly take my seat again.

"I appreciate you staying, Ashley."

"Ash. Please call me Ash."

"Okay, Ash. Let's finish this and then I'll take you on a tour. What's your date of birth?"

"July tenth, two thousand and three."

"So that makes you..."

"Twenty."

"Almost twenty-one, though. It looks like your birthday is coming up soon."

Nearly twenty-one years have passed, and I have nothing to show for it. Where will I even find myself that day? Who knows?

After running the red card through a machine, Marie hands it to me with a smile. My name is printed neatly on the back.

"Don't forget to keep your personal store card safe, as you'll need it for all your purchases."

I slide the card into my wallet, nestled next to my driver's license.

Observing Marie's hopeful face, I can't help but feel a strong inclination to trust her, leading me to open up a little. With a circular motion toward my face, I tell her it was my mom's boyfriend who did this.

"Thank you for sharing with me. If there's ever anything you want to talk about, know that my ears are always open and ready to listen."

"Thanks."

"Right then, let me give you a tour so we can figure out what suits you best and the hours you prefer. Follow me."