24. Silas

"Fucking idiots!"Anderson's chair goes flying across the room, notching a hole in the thin walls and sending the pinboard crashing to the floor, papers flying up like confetti. "Fucking humans! What the fuck are they thinking?"

I look around at my colleagues, many of them soaked in blood, their eyes bright crimson from the sudden sensory rush. There are dead humans everywhere, bleeding out into the ground, into the deep puddles forming around them as the rain continues to fall.

"Boston said they'd had reports of the National Guard mobilizing," Sam says, pushing aside the hair that hangs in her face in thick, blood-soaked ropes. "Looks like they're using the Afflicted now."

"To what end?" Anderson slams his fists into his desk, which groans as a huge crack splinters through its surface. "What are they hoping to achieve?"

"They're trying to eliminate us." The room goes quiet, and eyes turn to me. I shrug. "They're trying to kill off the vamps. They're sending in the Afflicted as decoys, and following them in to try and rescue as many humans as they can."

"The Afflicted killed 20 humans!" Anderson's finger darts angrily towards the door. "Twenty, King. If the National Guard are trying to rescue them, then they're doing a bad fucking job."

"Collateral damage." I rub my hands together. They're soaked in blood, tight and cloying. "They kill many to save a few. They know they can't overpower us."

Anderson growls, exposing his fangs. "Fucking idiot humans." He punches the wall, creating a hole that goes straight through to the outside. Cool air rushes in. He's not going to have an office by the end of his tirade. "Go on and reinforce those perimeter fences. Set more alarms. Double the guards on the towers and gates. Get out!" He waves an angry hand in our direction, and we all hurry out.

"He's pissed," Crawley mutters under his breath.

"Can you blame him?" Sam snaps over her shoulder. "This is bad. We didn't have enough warning."

"I'll drive out and set perimeter alarms," I say. "Set them out 2 miles away. That's the max range on those sensors."

"Good." Sam shakes her head. "This is fucked."

Yes it is. There are dead everywhere. National Guard operatives blown to pieces all over the ground. Afflicted half-burned and torn apart. And humans. So many humans. Juliet's not among them though.

I storm through the rain towards the cafeteria. The humans were herded in there when we annihilated the National Guard. Fools. Using something as volatile as a herd of Afflicted to try and rescue humans. It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

And it isn't lost on me that they're trying to seize back control.

There was a brief uprising against vampires when they started doing genetic testing. Politicians whipped the public up into a mad fury, saying vamps were playing god, and that it would end badly. Some labs were burned down, vampire covens sought out and attacked.

But it was over pretty quickly when they discovered the HIV vaccine. Suddenly vamps were heroes. We were loved and admired. What amazing work we had done.

Then we got too fucking brazen for our own good.

I take the steps up into the cafeteria, crossing the porch and tearing the door open. I scan the room for the blonde hair, the freckled face. There are people everywhere, huddled in little groups on the ground. They're holding each other, trying to comfort each other. These people have no one. Even other humans are happy to sacrifice them now.

I spot her in a corner, and the relief sends my heart thumping against my ribcage. Her knees are drawn up under her chin, and Gina has an arm around her. They're both pale, tears tracking down their cheeks.

I cross the room and drop to my knees in front of her. Without a second's hesitation she throws her arms around my neck, sobbing into my shoulder.

"You're OK." Her voice is tight. "You're OK."

I wrap my arms around her, wishing I could somehow wrap her up and hide her away. "Thank god you're alive. Fuck, I was so scared." I stroke her hair, and I'm aware of the silence around us. People are watching, brows furrowed, leaning forward curiously as this human woman and a feeder hold each other in the cafeteria.

Juliet gazes up at me, her trembling breath washing across my face. I brush the tears out of her face.

"It's alright now, we're not going to let anything else happen to you." I try and give her a reassuring smile, but the relief that she's alive and safe has me shaking.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

"I'm just glad I was with you, before." Fresh tears stream down her cheeks. "At least, if something had happened-"

I clutch her to my chest, and a small gasp goes up from the people around us.

"Don't say that," I murmur into her hair. "Don't talk like that."

I hold her as she sobs, as Gina regards me with mild shock. No one knows what to think. Their eyes on me are making my hackles rise, I want to get Juliet out of here. I don't want anyone staring at her, or at me. I just want to be fucking alone with her.

At that moment, the other vamps come in and start telling the humans to return to the dorms. I take the opportunity to usher Juliet out, past the others. She doesn't protest as we head for one of the side buildings, the rain beating down on the tin roof.

I push through the door, into a storage room of some kind. As soon as the door closes behind us, I have her in my arms. She presses herself against me, frantic fingertips clawing at my neck.

"I was so afraid," she says, sobs hiccuping out of her. "I was so afraid something had happened to you."

"I got back to my cabin, and there was just blood everywhere." I brush my hands over her head, cradling her against me, her forehead touching mine. "I panicked, angel. It took me so long to realize that it wasn't your blood."

She angles her head so our lips are even closer. I want to kiss her. I need to taste her. That brief touch of her tongue in my bed, that wasn't enough. I need to feel her under me again, watch that beautiful face as she comes undone for me. I need more, always more. My whole body is aching with need, with the elation of her being alive. I need to feel her heat and her breath, knowing it's just for me, that she's mine and no one else's.

Her hands wander up my back, pulling me closer. I lower my mouth to her neck, my lips lingering on her pulse, and she whimpers.

"Silas."

I'm shaking as her hands wander up and down my back, as her blood thunders against my mouth. I can"t let go, not now, not when the other vamps are mobilizing outside and any moment someone will come and find us. But she's wrapping herself around me, the scent of her need and her want filling the space around us.I grip her jaw in my hand, tipping her head back, and a small moan leaves her lips.

"If you died, I'd die," I say, and her face crumples. "I don't want to live without you, not anymore."

She shakes her head, clenching her eyes shut, sending a fresh cascade of tears down her cheeks.

"Don't say that. Don't say that."

"I mean it." I lay my forehead against hers. "You're everything, angel."

"I can't say no to you anymore." She opens her eyes slowly and gazes up at me. "I can't. I don't want to."

"Juliet…" The thread's tearing. Who am I fucking kidding. It tore off when I had her under me on my bed. Watching her come, watching those sweet lips swell as she moaned - that thread of restraint that was wound so tightly around the man who'll scare her away, now it's gone. There's just me, me, ready to tear her clothes off and pin her down onto the floor just so I can hear my name fall from those quivering lips over and over again.

This isn't allowed. This isn't allowed. But not even the thought of being discovered and having my system poisoned by silver over and over is enough to deter me. Nothing is worse than every second that she isn't mine.

Her lips quiver as she looks up at me, her grey eyes wide. "On your bed, I wanted you. I wanted you more than I've ever wanted anything in my life."

"I'm dying for you, angel." I stroke her shivering lower lip with my thumb.

She gasps, and her eyes snap shut. "Oh god." She presses her hands against my chest, her shoulders slumping as she begins to sob. "I can't… I can't…" She shakes her head as she begins to wail, a sound that pierces my dead heart.

I clutch her to my chest, and she thrashes, sobbing and howling.

"No, no, no, no." She chants it over and over.

"Jules, it's alright, I've got you."

"I can't - Oh god, they'll hurt you. They'll hurt you because of me." Her head tips back and she gazes at me, her eyes filled with tears and pain. "I can't be the reason you get hurt."

"You wouldn't be." I shake my head emphatically, trying to talk her out of it, trying to stop that defeat that's seeping into her eyes. "No, Jules, don't. Don't do this."

"If we do this, they'll hurt you."

"I don't care!"

"I do!" Her eyes are torn wide, bloodshot and glistening. "I was so scared today, so fucking scared that something had happened to you, that they'd killed you. I can't… I can't be the reason for that. I can't be the reason someone else dies."

I hold her face in my hands, wanting to yank her into me and crush these words with my mouth. "No one died because of you, nobody, none of that was your fault."

But it's useless. She closes her eyes, tears pouring down her face, over her lips, and she shakes her head. She's slipping away from me.

"Jules, Jules, listen to me, listen to me. Don't do this. Please."

She opens her eyes, and pulls me down to her. It happens so quickly, a mere split second, but she's kissed me, pressing her salty lips to mine.

"I wanted it to be you," she murmurs. "I really did. But I can't lose anyone else. I can't do this again."

She pulls herself out of my arms and rushes out of the room. I'm so blindsided I let her go. Need flares in my blood, coursing through my arms. Her hands on my back, that was the tourniquet. Her lips on mine, that was the fucking needle.

I pound my fists into the wall, bellowing. Fuck this life. Fuck this place. Fuck this world that brought her to me when I couldn't fucking have her. Fuck all the pain and sadness that's threatening to take her away from me.

"No." I growl it to the empty room. "No. No. Fucking NO." My words are punctuated by more punches into the drywall.

I'm not letting her go.

Not now.

* * *

If I was obsessedwith her before, I'm a fucking criminal now.

I change shifts with other guards, playing an insane game of stalker hopscotch, moving across the compound so I can watch her wherever she is. The thought of anyone else watching her shower, seeing her skin, naked and wet, fills me with such blinding rage I smash my way through another four punching bags in two days. I'm barely keeping another episode of bloodlust at bay.

But I manage to have them all kept away from her. None of them care, none of them suspect my agenda. None of them know that she showers closer to the two-way mirror, as though she can sense I'm there. None of them know that I lean against that mirror and jack myself off, self-loathing coursing through me. I'm pathetic. I'm fucking gone for this girl.

But the scent of her skin is all I can smell. The brush of her lips is fucking branded on me forever. Sam gives me that knowing look every now and then, and she seems relieved that Juliet appears to be putting distance between the two of us. Sam thinks I'll get over it. Like some little stupid crush.

She has no idea.

The darkest parts of me whisper to me in the deep of the night, telling me to just take her. To drag her off into a corner somewhere. To suck on that sweet clit, to make her come on my cock, to cover that pretty freckled face in my cum so she knows who she belongs to. So she knows she's never saying no to me again. She'll never say no to me when she's come with my name falling from her lips.

I hate that part of myself.

No, when I'm finally inside her, it's because she's begging for me, because she can't go one more second without me. Because she's begging me to make her mine. And it won't take much longer.

In the meantime, her eyes still look for me. They're still filled with relief when they spot me. She knows I'm there. She wants me to watch over her. She needs me. My girl needs me so badly.

But I still need to attend to regular duties which take me away from her. Like another fucking supply run to Savannah. I consider asking to take her with me again, but after the National Guard stormed the compound, there's no way they'll let me take a human out.

So I spend the drive thinking far too hard and far too wide, trying to quantify and reason something that's beyond understanding. I look over at the seat beside me, and I see her blonde hair whipping around her face, I hear her laugh. I grip the steering wheel, thinking of her standing naked in front of me. Fuck, she wanted me. On my bed, she wanted me. If the attack hadn't happened, I'd have had her.

I groan as I think of the look on her sweet face as she ground herself against me. Dirty girl. She looks like an angel but holy shit, I can feel that there's something filthy and sinful hiding behind those grey eyes. She's begging to be unlocked and torn open.

I blast myself with cold air as I approach Savannah, because the last thing I need is to meet my colleagues with a bulging erection. By the time I wave to the gate guards, I've calmed down suitably. Discussing medical supplies is about as unsexy as it gets anyway.

I nod absently throughout the small talk, answer questions vaguely, keenly aware of the sinking sun and the urgency to get back to the compound. The other vamps are curious about the National Guard attack, looking at each other with concern. I repeat myself a few times, then suddenly one of them says something that snaps up my attention.

"What did you say?" I turn to the dark-haired vamp with a frown.

He shrugs. "I know, it caught us by surprise too. I mean, a whole human colony? It's been years since we broke them all up."

"Where is it?"

He gestures to the air over his head. "Up in Roanoke."

The vamp loading the last box onto the truck grunts. "I heard they got vamps working there as well."

"No way?" The dark-haired one raises his eyebrows. "Why the fuck would a vamp wanna live with humans?"

All the vamps chuckle. All except me.

"Wait, so you're saying there's a whole colony up there living without any vamp supervision?" I ask. The chuckles subside, and one of the other vamps nods.

"That's what we got told," she says, leaning back against the gate. "And with the National Guard regrouping, you gotta wonder, you know? How long is it gonna be like this?"

"You saying our days are numbered, Kowalski?" The vamp asks as he jumps down from the truck. "That's depressing."

"I don"t think the Covens will let that happen." She tosses her short blonde bob. "But the humans can still try and fight back, right? Who knows what could happen."

Everyone laughs awkwardly. The attack made us all nervous. But I can't give that any more thought now, and I made my excuses to leave. I gun the engine and speed all the way back to the compound.

By the time I get back, the sun has almost slipped behind the horizon. I unload the supplies with two of the other vamps, and head to Sam's office to bring her the papers.

When I open the door, she's sitting behind her desk, her shirt open more than it should be while she's on duty. She watches me cross the room with blazing red eyes, and I can feel the heat rolling off her.

"Silas," she says in a low voice. "You got something for me?"

I throw the papers on to the desk. "Yeah, all delivered and accounted for."

"Fantastic." She runs a hand down her chest, into her open shirt. She gives me a smile, her eyes hooded with desire. "You look so good tonight."

I take a step back from the desk. "Thanks."

She lifts an eyebrow. "Thanks? Not, Do you need something, Sam? Because I do need something. I need something real bad."

"Not tonight, Sam." I turn to the door and she's in front of me in an instant.

"You haven't been to see me in a really long time. I'm so lonely." She puts a hand against my chest.

"I said, not tonight." I try to push past her, but she grabs me and spins me so my back is against the door. Her lips nip at my jawline.

"I need you to fuck me, Silas."

"No." I push her away, hard, and she stumbles, sneering at me.

"What's wrong, Silas? Pretty human got you sprung has she?"

"Fuck off." I turn to open the door, and Sam's hand slams against it, pushing it shut. She glares up at me, and I bare my fangs at her. "I said, fuck off."

"It is her, isn't it?"

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, I think I do." She grabs my crotch. "Maybe you just need to be cured of this little crush."

I shove her away from me. "Don't fucking touch me. If you're that desperate for vamp dick, go see Crawley, he's always up for it."

She hisses as I tear open the door. The cool night air rushes up my nose as I head for my cabin. The window is boarded up, the blood of the National Guard washed away.

Sam knows.

Of course she does. She's not stupid. She watches me like a hawk. Maybe she's jealous? It doesn't matter. Maybe I should have just fucked her to assuage any suspicions she might have had. Maybe I just made it worse. But I grit my teeth as I think of touching anyone but Juliet.

I can't do it. Not even to release the tension. I don't want to get off to anyone but her. I don't want to come inside anyone but her.

I head straight for the shower, then remember I have second shift on the dorms tonight. I douse myself in cold water to chase away the feeling of needing Juliet, of wanting her, and dress in a clean uniform. I retrieve a bottle of blood from the fridge, and down it. It's cold, which is disgusting, but the temperature helps me calm down.

I can't decide if I should be worried about Sam. I doubt she'd turn me in. She's jealous, not malicious. And even if she did, she has no proof. Nothing's happened.

Yet.

The time for my shift rolls around, and I walk out into the cool night. The compound is quiet, everyone is asleep or resting. The vamp at the door of the dorm gives me a nod as I approach.

"They're all out cold," he says with a smile. "Think they're a lot better behaved since the Guard came through." He laughs stupidly and I wanted to smash his face in.

Instead I just give him a tight smile. "Yep, no motivator like fear."

He waves off as he heads towards the cabins, and I take my spot by the door.

I can practically sense her inside. I can feel the smooth skin of her thighs under the sheet. She's not wearing much, I know that. I imagine that warm skin, naked against me. Fuck she'd feel amazing. I can practically smell her…

My senses go into overdrive. I can smell her. Oh fuck.

She's in the dorm getting herself off. Heat races through my veins.

I swallow hard, my hand gripping the door. She's in a dorm full of humans. I need to try and stay calm. I shouldn't go in there.

Then a little moan carries on the air, and I can't take it.

I move soundlessly, past all the others. Sleeping, snoring softly. I approach her bed, and she's lying on her stomach. Her body is jerking in tiny, barely perceptible movements. I can hear her blood thundering in her veins, and her smell. Oh, fuck, her smell. It's enough to bring me to my fucking knees. The thought of having that smell on my face, having her pussy pour her orgasm all over my fucking mouth. I grit my teeth to stop myself from groaning.

I stop beside her bed, just as she whimpers into her pillow. I lean over her, and put my hands either side of her.

She gasps, tossing her head to the side and looking over her shoulder with wide eyes. Her hair is sticking to the sweat on her face, her lips quivering.

I lean closer to her cheek. "Don't stop," I mutter.

Her eyes flutter closed, and she shifts a little, lifting her ass from the bed. She's so wet, I can hear her fingers in her pussy, I can hear her rubbing her clit. My mouth is fucking watering.

"That's a good girl," I whisper, putting my lips right up against her ear. "What are you thinking about?"

She quivers, tilting her head back and pressing her cheek against my mouth. "You."

This was a bad idea.

I push the sheet away, looking down between our bodies at her ass as she writhes on the bed. Humans fuck in here all the time, right? They don't get caught. No one's guarding the door. No one would know…

I put my hand between her legs, feeling her fingers working as she fucks herself, getting closer and closer.

"Silas," she whimpers, and my willpower shatters.

Juliet stops as I tear her panties down, planting her hands on the bed, panting. I'm about to unzip myself when there's movement in the corner of my eye, and someone lets out a muffled yelp. I look up into the face of the woman who sleeps in the bed beside Juliet.

Gina's eyes are wide with horror.

Fuck.

I hold out a hand, then bring a finger to my lips. "It's OK," I whisper urgently. "Nothing happened. She's alright. I thought she was sick."

"Sick?" Gina hisses.

"I'm fine." Juliet pushes herself up onto her elbows as I climb off the bed. "I promise. He didn't hurt me."

The person in the next bed begins to stir, and I quickly pull the sheet back over Juliet.

"What the fuck is happening?" Gina asks, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed.

"Nothing, nothing," Juliet says, pushing herself up into a sitting position. "It was just-"

"He pulled down your underwear!" Gina's voice is getting louder, and someone raises their head from their pillow.

I stalk to Gina's bed and grip her throat. Her eyes bug out as I push her back down onto her pillow. "You didn't see a fucking thing, do you understand me?"

She's spluttering, her lips moving but nothing but whistling breaths coming out of her.

"Nothing happened," I snarl in her face. "You didn't see anything, do you understand?"

She nods, a frenzied jerking of her head as I squeeze her throat.

"Not. A fucking. Word." I raise my eyebrows. "Now go to sleep." I release her and she rolls away from me, clutching the sheet over her head.

I turn back to Juliet, who's kneeling on her bed. Her head tips back to look up at me, her lips parted. I expected to see fear, resentment, shock.

But she's gazing at me, trembling, her hands clasped between her thighs. She's still a little breathless, and she pushes the hair from her face. And then she smiles at me.

Filth and sin. I fucking knew it. I walk to her side, reaching out to stroke her cheek.

"Get some sleep, angel."

She leans into my touch for a brief moment before she lies back down, on her stomach again, that delicious ass on display for me. Heat claws at my throat, and I back away before anyone else wakes up and I end up threatening the entire fucking dorm.

I head back outside, inhaling the cold night air through my nose. Fuck, I wish I had a cigarette. Something, anything, to try and take the edge off the need to have her in my fucking bloodstream.

That was idiotic. That was too stupid. I threatened a human because I got caught. Nearly got caught. Jesus fuck, what is wrong with me?

But she smelled so good. She felt so fucking good. She was so close, hot and slippery, that pussy screaming to be filled, just inches from me. I grit my teeth as I imagine watching my cum drip out of her.

I run a hand over my heated face, and decide that next time I'm going to pick my moment.

Next time, I'll find a way to get her alone.