Chapter 22

March 27th

Well, the good news is Liam texted Amelia to let her know that Patrick can still have children. It was actually a rather small cut to the scrotum. Kind of like the cut to the back of my head. It bled like crazy, but the nurse in the ER just put some glue on it and all is well. I wonder if they glued his balls? In hindsight, I rather hope they did. However, that is how I found myself on the train to Connecticut with no date. May God have mercy on my soul.

The wedding was beautiful. An arch of flowers was set on a raised dais with the ocean as the backdrop. Ashely looked like she'd walked off the pages of a bridal magazine and her new husband, while serious, seemed very much in love.

When Paige first arrived, her mother fretted about the fact that Paige had shown up single. But at that point, what else could Paige do? And the better question—why should she have to have a date? Even as her mother tried to get Paige in and out of the wedding without being seen by Aunt Gretchen, Paige cared less and less about the fact she was there alone.

Well, until now. Now the wedding was over. The radiant couple had walked down the aisle to the applause of the guests. The guests had been ushered to an outdoor patio with heaters now that the late afternoon sun was beginning to set. Drinks had been served while the happy couple, siblings, parents, and grandparents all posed for pictures with the ocean behind them.

Paige suffered through several rounds of intrusive questions about her love life from strangers, which only served to irritate her. When Paige countered with becoming the first senior editor of romance for Griffin Publishing, they acted as if they were sorry for her. It was clear that they saw her as a poor young woman who had an accomplished career but not love. It was only going to get worse now that the receiving line was set up.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" her mother whispered.

"I have nothing to be embarrassed about, Mom," Paige whispered back, straightening her shoulders and lifting her chin.

"Of course not, Paige," her father said with his kind smile. "We're really proud of what you've accomplished in the city."

"Thanks, Dad."

Her parents, Lily and Adair, now stood on either side of Paige as they made their way to the front of the receiving line. Aunt Gretchen and Uncle Brock stood, beaming with pride as Ashley and her new husband greeted their guests.

As soon as they saw her, their faces flashed with victorious glee and then with fake pity. Paige felt both of her parents stiffen with anticipated anger. This was going to be torture.

"Aw, Paigey, I'm so sorry your date couldn't make it," Aunt Gretchen said in such a way it was clear that she was thrilled the date didn't make it so she could rub her superior situation in Paige's face. "We thought you might be fibbing about even having a date."

"Gretch," her mother began between clenched teeth, but Paige cut her off. She was done having her mom fight her battles for her with Aunt Gretchen.

"We were in a car accident last night coming back from a charity event," Paige explained with a shrug. But then something shifted in her. Gretchen made this a competition, not Lily and certainly not Paige. She was the one always struggling to prove something. But Paige didn't care. Did Ashely even care? Was it really as simple as that? Could she just stop playing the game? "But we weren't very serious, so it's no big deal that he didn't make it."

Aunt Gretchen literally pouted for Paige. "To be your age and single is a big deal. But way to put on a brave face."

Paige laughed and clearly caught everyone off guard. "You make it sound as if having a man in your life is all that matters."

"Well," Aunt Gretchen began, again with pity, but Paige cut her off.

"But it doesn't, Aunt Gretchen. Sorry if you feel that way, but I have a great life in New York. I just got a huge promotion to senior romance editor for Griffin Publishing. I report directly to Jack Griffin, president and CEO of the company. I'm the youngest senior editor by a decade or more." As Paige spoke, her chest filled with pride and her mind cleared. It was as if she saw it all a little more clearly. Screw the needing a date to an event trope. She could be her own date. "I've spent time with a cop, a doctor, a wolf, a bear, a billionaire, and a socialite... I guess that's what you call a guy who just flits around in life spending money. Anyway, it was fun. I'm meeting new people, discovering what I like, and what I don't. And, even better, I don't have to depend on anyone but myself. I don't need a man to rescue me... well, except from carbon monoxide poisoning and allergic reactions. Besides that, I don't need a man to make my life complete. However, when I find a man who will compliment, support, and enhance my life, maybe I will think of settling down. In the meantime, I plan to keep meeting interesting people and focus on climbing the corporate ladder and signing more than Lenora Hamilton as my author."

"OMG! You know Lenora Hamilton?" Ashley ignored all the other parts of Paige's speech, but zeroed in on that little tidbit.

"I do. I met her at a secret club in New York City and she wants me to help find a ghostwriter and edit her book. It was announced in the news on Wednesday." Pride filled Paige. She'd taken a chance and pushed for a job she knew she could do and earned it. While what Patrick had almost done sexually was nice, her professional accomplishments lasted a lot longer and gave her the same rush.

"Could you introduce me? That is so cool you get to work with her and met her in a secret club. She's an icon."

Paige made up her mind right then and there. This competition was over. She wasn't playing anymore. "An icon, just like you are in that gown, Ashley. You are stunning."

Ashley looked worriedly at her mother but then reached for Paige's hand. "Thank you. You look fantastic too. Come meet my husband." Ashley dropped her voice after the introductions were done and Ashley was dragging her toward the reception. "He has three brothers and some of his friends are pretty hot, too. I hate to admit it, but even Eddie has some hot friends," she said about her brother. "I'll introduce you to all of them."

Ashley had her by the hand and was introducing her to every single man at the reception, saying, "This is my super talented cousin who is a big-time book editor in the city."

Paige squeezed Ashley's hand and they smiled at each other and giggled. They were cousins again. No competition, just the love they'd had for each other when they were little girls running around the yard and playing in the sprinkler together.

Aunt Gretchen might not like it, but Aunt Gretchen could go jump off the dock for all Paige cared. She was done worrying about what other people thought of her. Check off another one of the things she learned from some of her favorite romance books. She was Paige Turner. Confident, yet occasionally bumbling editor living in New York with an awesome job, a tiny-ass apartment, no boyfriend, and the best friends anyone could ever have. And that was enough because she was enough.

The train ride home gave Paige time to think about a lot of things. Ashley was so happy. Her husband was nice, if a little stuffy, but hopefully he would make Ashley even happier. What Paige had said to her aunt was true. She didn't need a man in her life. Of course, sex wasn't exactly the same as having a boyfriend. However, maybe it was time to pause her sex search. After all, things hadn't been going all that well recently.

It sounded strange to say to herself, but Paige was proud of herself. She'd put a twelve-year feud behind her and was truly excited to get to know her cousin again. Paige had danced with every single man Ashley sent her way at the reception. She looked at it as people practice. She had been a shy bookworm living in the pages of her books, living the lives of those characters. They'd taught her so much. Paige took those lessons and put them into practice with men she'd danced with. She was more outgoing. She asked questions. Then, when she really paid attention, she saw that several of them were just as nervous as she was. It made her realize all the pressure she'd put on herself to be what someone else expected her to be—bubbly, smart, perfect, married—none of it mattered if she wasn't being herself.

So, she'd talked books to the guys. She let her bookworm flag fly. Some looked down on her for not reading "real literature," but that just told her they weren't for her. It was gloriously freeing to realize it wasn't her job to make everyone like her. If they didn't, so be it, as long as she was being herself.

A couple of the men actually asked good questions about the books she enjoyed, her career, and Paige herself. It was time for her to dig in and find herself a little more. Then she'd go back to her trope quest. After all, she had nine more months left. It was okay to take time out and focus on herself.

With her new raise, she could afford another excursion to the second-hand clothes shop and indulge her developing addiction to sexy lingerie at that lovely shop nearby. The self-confidence to do both was something she'd never had before because she'd been so sure she wasn't worth seeing. There was something about walking down the street or sitting at her desk knowing she had on this perfectly fitting sexy underwear that somehow made her feel more confident and powerful in her own sexuality. That's exactly what she was going for right now—finding her confidence.

While her favorite books had tropes, they were about more than that. Paige looked down at the book she was carrying for the train. The heroine was an art dealer who stood up against the mob to protect the art she loved so much. In this book, Paige had learned so much more than an enemy to lover trope. She'd learned about art history. World history. She'd learned the strength of passion. She'd been reminded you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. And how it was hard to do the right thing when it could be easier to sit back and let something bad happen because it didn't directly affect you.

Paige was starting to learn that about herself now. She dug deep into the strength of characters to find inner strength of her own and she wasn't done growing, not by a long shot. She was only now learning who she really was and wasn't ready to stop. While losing her virginity was still a goal, so was finding herself, what she stood for, and what her passions in life were. Her job was one. Reading was another. Her friends and parents a third. It was a big world out there. There was still so much to learn, to discover, and experience.

Her phone buzzed with a text message and Paige smiled. It was a group chat started by Foxy Moxie including her, Roman, and Griz. So what that the shifter trope didn't work out? She'd made new friends. And she was done hiding in her apartment on the weekends.

Sure! I'd love to get together this coming weekend.

This adventure she was on was about a lot more than losing her virginity. It was about stepping outside of her safe little box, finding her confidence, meeting new people, trying new things, and experiencing different lives with no judgment. She couldn't wait to see what was in store for her next.