Chapter Twenty-Eight

“U nderstand, I’m over the moon that we’re going to adopt her.”

“But?” His eyebrow arched in that sexy way that made her think dirty thoughts.

“We… we need to back up with us.” Even as she said it, her heart hurt as the strong smell of vanilla and bananas hit her nose. Her fingers threaded through her hair and found a gooey glob of food. “So gross.”

“Welcome to parenthood.” Reynolds chuckled as he wiped down Audrey’s greedy fingers.

“Glad to be here.” From the moment Reynolds told her the adoption would happen, her angst fought with her elation. No doubt, they were great parents, and they were amazing at getting each other off, but were they a good match in the most important ways?

And how much food was in my hair? She hesitated to check.

He stripped Audrey of her onesie, only to find smashed food all over her belly. “How much banana did Nate give her? Why are we backing up?”

Holding in a laugh, she passed him the wipes box. “Why? Because I opened my heart up and almost lost everything. You. Me. Audrey. Us.”

The corner of his mouth twitched up. “Us. I like hearing you say that.”

It would be so easy to push her fears aside, fall into his arms, his bed, and ignore the worry that festered there. “We’ve never actually been on a real date.”

“Is that what you need to calm your worries? A date?”

Damn the man for being so perceptive. “No. Yes. Something. A honeymoon. A shower.”

“All those are great suggestions.” After a good wipe-down, Reynolds cradled a less banana-y Audrey in his thick arms.

The sweet scene of her husband listening and their daughter talking nonsense shot the blissful reality of family life straight into Susan’s veins.

Then doubt cruelly whispered in her ear as it had so many times before. She was so tired of it being a constant companion, yet she guarded her heart for so long, it would take time to accept she had gotten what she’d always wanted.

Without looking at her, he asked, “What are you thinking, my beautiful wife?”

Her insides melted at his complimentary query. “That this has all been emotional whiplash.”

“You’re right. It’s been a lot.”

The faint smell of banana drifted around her, making Susan cringe at how much mush she had yet to find. “To answer your question, maybe not a serious date, but yes, I’d like a bit of the romancing. I’d like to be wooed and seduced.”

“I can do all that. And I have.”

“ Expertly. ”

“Did you hear that, Audrey? Daddy’s an expert.”

Audrey answered with a series of noises that sounded close to being actual vowels.

Waving him off, she went to her room and stripped off her shirt. A quick glance in the mirror made her grimace. Her hair sat in a lopsided twist while smears of mascara highlighted the bags under her eyes. “We started with married life and a baby. We’ve barely had any alone time. We never even had a honeymoon.”

“But what we have gotten has been stellar.”

She rolled her eyes at his successful attempt to be charming. “Reynolds. Please.”

Wandering about her room, Reynolds kept his voice calm as he held eye contact with Audrey while he spoke. “What are you saying? That you don’t want to be with me? With us?”

The fear of so much going wrong took hold again. She pinched the bridge of her nose to get herself to center. “I want us to be together, to be a family. I simply need a moment for my heart to recover. Get to know you.”

“What do you want to know? I’m an open book.” He held his free arm out wide. “Ask me anything.”

Audrey added her two cents to their conversation as Odin napped in the rocker, the cat making the most of the late-afternoon strip of sunlight.

“It’s not that simple.”

Lucy’s words echoed in her head. But it can be.

“Why does it have to be complicated, Susan?” His eyes roamed her body when he finally looked up. “Damn, you’re gorgeous.”

“Thank you, but now you want simple when we both pushed for complicated?” Her fingertips throbbed, indicating how fiercely she gripped the doorframe to her bathroom.

“You grip that wood any tighter, you’re likely to break it.” He held his hand out and when she laid hers on top, he pulled her in, tucking their hands to his chest. “Susan. It’s okay to be scared.”

“I’m not scared.” Her words trembled as Audrey babbled. “I’m terrified.”

“I’m scared, too, but I’m right here with you.”

“When I’ve almost gotten what I wanted before something always took it away. Now, I got the whole Hallmark rom-com ending and it only stresses me more.”

He stroked her hair, his spicy scent calming her angst, but raising her stress levels for the right reasons. “You’ve had a lot of shit happen to you. I can’t promise more shit won’t, but what if we enjoyed the here and now? Didn’t give too much thought to the maybes?”

“Hello? Have you met me?”

“I have and I’ve loved every bit of you.” His jovial mood shifted to adoration. “Susan, I love you.”

“What? That’s insane.” She began to move away from him, but he kept a gentle hold of her hand as she offered no resistance.

“This entire situation has been insane, but that doesn’t mean it’s not what’s right for us. And I love you for every practical, logical, and responsible thing you do.”

He truly gets me. Emotions lodged in her throat. “Really?”

He leaned toward her until their foreheads touched. “Really. But I love all the sexy stuff a lot, too. A whole fucking lot.”

“There’s a lot more sexier stuff.” An entire wardrobe of items she’d yet to reveal.

“I can’t wait to spend the next few decades seeing them on you,” he whispered against the tender skin of her ear. “Then taking them off you.”

A shiver ran down her spine as the thrill of the next many years played out in her brain.

Snowball fights. Family trips. Adventures. Three stockings hanging on the hearth.

Her gaze scanned him. Sex.

So much sex.

It all played so beautifully.

The incoherent words of the baby sank the wishes soul deep while tears freely flowed down her cheeks. “I want to believe it will happen, but—”

He kissed her slowly as if he had all the time in the world to cherish her body.

Then Audrey’s diaper made some concerning noises.

“Parenting is so sexy.” She smiled against his lips.

Odin woke from a dead sleep, grimaced, and walked out of the room.

“So are you.” Reynolds turned Susan around and patted her ass. “I’ll take care of her. Get yourself cleaned up. I’ve got this, my beautiful wife.”

An hour later and banana-free, she exited her bathroom wearing her shower wrap when there was a knock on her bedroom door. “Reynolds, I’ll be out in a minute.”

A few seconds later, another knock.

“Good grief.” With a double-check on the snugness of the Velcro, Susan opened the door. “Reynolds, I—”

But it wasn’t Reynolds.

Sitting in her foam seat, clean, and cutely dressed in a Captain Marvel dress, Audrey looked up at her and smiled. In her hand, a card was covered in drool.

Squatting down, Susan gently took the card. “What’s this?”

Audrey excitedly giggled.

“Really? You don’t say. Who sent it?”

The baby’s eyebrows lifted as she gabbed about something that was probably quite fascinating.

Like the fact she had thumbs.

“Okay, you’re right. I’ll just read it.” Inside, a handwritten note.

Dear Susan,

I’ve noticed you living across the hall, and I think you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.

If you’re receptive, I would love to take you out to dinner sometime. And one day, Paris.

It’s short notice, but if you’re free tonight, I know a perfect place for us to have a nice date. Here in town. Not Paris.

Looking forward to seeing you soon.

All my love,

Reynolds

PS—I hope this isn’t creepy.

He appeared in the doorway of his room, his shirt and pants perfectly pressed. Him looking far more handsome than anyone should ever be allowed. “If you’re free, can I pick you up at six.”

“Using the baby to ask me out is cheating, you know.” But her quick heartbeat certified she loved it.

And she loved him. She loved him for how much he respected her and believed in her. Loved her. For wanting her despite her obsession for order and her imperfect insides.

Because she was more than enough.

He scooped up their daughter. “That is true, if you’re going to date me, you have to understand. She and I, we’re a package deal.”

Susan leaned against the doorframe. “Is that so?”

Audrey excitedly squealed in agreement. Her cute little feet kicked as her eyes went wide as though she’d discovered her toes.

“Where is this place you intend on taking me?”

“We could go to the Graff for steaks or Main Street for one of Gabby’s specialties or Rocco’s if you want Italian food.”

The corner of her mouth curled up at his attempt to make their first date special, but before she answered, the doorbell rang.

“The babysitter’s here.” He and Audrey disappeared around the corner.

“The babysitter?” Susan ducked back into her room and threw on some clothes, including a bra and panty set she’d wanted to show him for months. Just in case.

When she walked out, she found Peter standing by the front door.

Her brother shook Reynolds’s hand. “Thanks for doing this.”

Peter nodded. “Thanks. She deserves someone who’ll do anything to make sure she’s happy. After all of this, I know you will.”

Her brother’s compliment hit Susan straight in the feels. I’m so glad he sees what a great father Reynolds will be.

“Damned right I will. I love her,” her husband answered without a hint of sarcasm.

“When her previous boyfriends said those very words to me, I was never convinced if they meant it, but you do.”

He’s talking about me? Peter had never been so transparent. It looked good on him.

“I appreciate that, Peter.” Reynolds kissed and then blew a raspberry on Audrey’s cheek. “Love you, Princessaurus.”

She giggled, happiness emanating from her rosy cheeks.

Let your heart lead this time. Let us carry the heavy stuff.

Lucy’s wisdom rang true.

Suddenly, the future didn’t look as scary.

A new sense of freedom warmed her soul as the tight grip of worry relaxed its viselike grip. She could either deny herself happiness with endless what-ifs or she could appreciate what she had right now.

Amazing how a happily-ever-after kind of love healed so many wounds. “You’re the sitter?”

Her brother tilted his chin up as though he were the proudest uncle in the world. “I hope you don’t mind, but we’d like to take her for the night. Shelly, her two, Freddie and Tia, my two, and I plan to spend time with this cutie.”

If joy had been an alien, it would have popped straight out of her chest right now. “That’s wonderful. Thank you.”

Not since before the accident that changed their lives had Susan felt this kind of calm understanding with her brother. The final piece of the puzzle back in place.

Now she could concentrate on her marriage and her family. A year ago, I thought those two things would never be mine.

Audrey played with Peter’s nose before laying an open-mouthed, wet kiss on his eye.

“So gross.” Peter cringed through his amusement. “I’ll go so you can get to your date.”

“I’ll walk you out.” Susan opened the door. “Be right back.”

“Sounds good.” Reynolds stuffed his hands in his pockets and winked.

She stepped onto the front porch with Peter and Audrey, laying a couple of quick kisses on the baby’s cheeks. “Glad you two found some common ground.”

“Who, Reynolds? I didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt and I should have. He’s not like all those assholes you dated.”

Susan shook her head in confusion as the happy sounds of kids playing a game of touch football in the park filled the afternoon. “I had no idea you thought they were assholes.”

Peter rocked back and forth as Audrey played with the collar of his shirt, promptly trying to stuff it in her mouth. “I’ve always been worried for you.”

“Why?”

“Sis, you did so much for the rest of us. Time after time, you gave up everything to keep us going. You kept us from being homeless, and I didn’t appreciate you enough for it.” He shook his head as the sun cast its long shadows across the lawns. “I was too wrapped up in my trauma to notice. I left way too much for you to handle. Then I worried that you’d give up everything for whoever you dated or ended up with like Mom did. I wanted more for you, but I didn’t know how to tell you.”

His acknowledgment had never been the goal, but to hear it sure sounded sweet. “It’s what had to be done, Peter.”

“True, but you sure as hell didn’t need to be doing ninety percent of it for years at a time.” He patted Audrey’s back. “It’s your time to find your joy. You deserve someone who loves you for everything you are. Is she drooling on me?”

Pulling a burp cloth out of the side pocket of the diaper bag, Susan placed it across Peter’s shoulder. “There. I thought… I had no idea you even cared about any of that.”

“Of course I do. I want you happy. Loved. Protected. We all do.”

Emotions ran down her cheeks. “We’ll see how it plays out with him and me.”

“Plays out? He loves you. I mean, the guy really loves you, and you obviously love him. What he did to make your dreams come true? Susan, he’s a good guy.”

“I do love him, but I’m scared.” Audrey grabbed Susan’s finger and gummed the tip with abandon. “She’s hungry.”

“Love is scary, but when it’s the right person, it’s worth it.” Peter waved to his two kids, Polly and Diggory, running up the sidewalk. Diggory pushed a stroller.

“Don’t let fear tell you what to do. I lost the first ten years of my kids’ lives because Simone worried I’d reject her and them.” He swallowed hard as the memory of their late mother must still be hard for him to process. “Don’t let it rob you of any more time because that drunk bastard’s stolen enough from us.”

She couldn’t begin to add up the minutes, the days, the years that fear dictated her decisions because of one selfish person’s choice to drive drunk that spring morning so long ago.

To force its release from her would be nothing short of liberating. “We’ve let him steal so much from us, haven’t we?”

“We’re all here now. All of us get a new start and a new outlook on life. A place to talk about it out of the public eye.” A tight line replaced his mouth. “I don’t think any of us have dealt with what happened that day.”

“After all this, it’s apparent I haven’t,” she joked despite the seriousness of the moment. “Amazing Reynolds wants to be with me after all my baggage.”

“You need to stop short-changing yourself. I wish you could see how amazing you are, the way the rest of us do.” Peter thumbed over his shoulder. “The way he does.”

“Thank you, Peter. That means the world.”

“Hi, Aunt Susan.” Polly stomped up the stairs as Diggory waited on the sidewalk.

“Hi, kids. Ready to take care of Audrey tonight?” Susan inhaled all the goodness along with the crisp autumn air. A few houses already had Halloween decorations out, and she gleefully wondered how much candy she’d need to buy.

“I’ve the games picked out and we have a high chair ready.” Polly gently took the diaper bag from Peter. “Let’s go, Dad. Jeopardy! is about to start.”

“Be right there.” Peter turned to Susan and nudged her with his elbow. “If you don’t marry that guy, I might. Except Shelly might get upset.”

“But I already married that guy.” And now I don’t doubt as to why.

“Then why are you outside right now when you’ve got a sitter?” He raised an eyebrow before descending the stairs and placing Audrey in the stroller. “See you tomorrow.”

The baby kicked her feet in excitement as they buckled her in and headed toward their house down the street.

“Bye, Aunt Susan!” Diggory waved as he sang along to the classic Queen tune, “Somebody to Love.”

She waited for them to pass several houses before she faced the door.

For years, she waited, hoped, and begged for a chance to have someone who simply wanted her. Not who she could be or what they perceived her to be, but her right now. Today.

Susan found Reynolds sitting in the secret library, pulling a book off the shelf. “Have a nice talk with Peter?”

“I love you.” For once in her entire life, Susan let the words flow without pause.

Without guessing or questioning.

“What?” His eyebrows arched in surprise.

“You are the most logical, practical, responsible man.” She wiggled out of her jeans and tossed them.

“You know, you’re sexy when you quote seventies hit songs.”

He gets me. Crooking her finger, she inhaled the spicy scent that always followed him, allowing it to drift across her skin.

And now he gets all of me. “I love you.”

He tossed the book on the chair, obviously not interested in reading anymore. “You do?”

“I do.” Slowly, she unfastened each button of her shirt. “And I like this library.”

“I just bet you do.”

Before unbuttoning the last one, she cupped his face, leaning in until their foreheads touched. “I love you for everything you are and everything you’ve believed in. And for helping me believe in good things again.”

“And I love you because you’re you.” His hands drifted down her arms, but before he pulled her closer, he asked, “Did you want to go out to dinner?”

“No.”

“No?” He raised an eyebrow as his eyes scanned her from top to toes.

She shrugged off her top, revealing the gold Princess Leia–inspired lingerie. “No. I want to stay home and make memories.”

“I love you even more.”

The End