7. Alexander

7

ALEXANDER

S ometimes I hate my surname.

The way it brought expectations wherever I walked.

It automatically meant I hated the meaning behind being a St. James.

It was one of the reasons that when I moved here to Hope Springs, I didn't parade my family name around and referred to myself as just Alexander. I don't think even when I started working at the hospital people clicked at first my connection with the famous St. James. It was only when the behind the scenes work and the charity work started that things began to fall into place and my identity became more open to the community.

So much for trying to remain hidden.

My mom, I know I should refer to her as mother but even to this day she allowed me to be casual with my reference to her. It had been ingrained within our social circles that mom wasn't the correct term to be used in front of others. With socialites being referred to as high a title as possible. I'm glad that in some respects my mom allowed us as normal lifestyle as possible with an upbringing where she was present at all times and not a nanny. I think that mainly had something to do with the passing of our dad very suddenly when Hunter was only three months old. It was the only casual resemblance in my life I was allowed though as everything else was high end through and through, even down to the way I signed my name. If it didn't meet the St. James standard that was engrained or expected by us, then it couldn't happen. End of.

Ironically, I was scared to come out as gay to mom when I was a teenager in case, she didn't support my decision and I had the hard choice to make of my family, or my sexuality. She was more proud that I had taken that step forward and shown her my true colors.

So, the guilt that hit me regarding helping with the Hope Liberty Hospital charity auction made me feel awful. The moment I heard from Kennedy Oslow that my donor had actually provided the largest donation out of all the mystery bachelor's this evening, gratitude took over. All I knew was that this guy had been so generous and supportive that I had to give him the best date for his money possible. Hence suggesting to Kennedy about declaring in a red envelope the destination of their date.

I knew my money could have benefited the hospital too. I donated for the cause too in many ways, but this guy was about to see what it meant to show a St. James his heart and soul.

"Blake." I sighed at his image on the video call as I rubbed my temples after having checked my watch for the fifth time wondering how long it would actually be before he excused his secretary from the room. "Fucking muted." I slammed my hand on the desk as I watched the two of them arguing away together. It was crystal clear she wasn't impressed with him as she stormed straight out of the room and my brother's lip curled upwards and a glint appeared in his eye as his attention focused on me suddenly. It wasn't anything new though. Out of all my brothers, Blake and I had somewhat of a volatile relationship. He was the one that couldn't understand my move. He couldn't understand why moving away would help me feel like I wasn't constantly waiting for someone to try and pull my life apart again. In his eyes, I was running away from something rather than facing it head-on. Apparently, that's what a St. James' should do, face a problem not run from it. I mean I let slip to Blake that a patient had come onto me once and wanted to try and ruin me. He wanted to destroy our name and take my career.

I know I should have battled it out.

I did nothing wrong, but I wasn't happy where I was anyway. I wanted a change. I wanted the chance to give back to a smaller community rather than line my pockets. I mean I have enough money of my own but so many struggle to manage their own medical bills. A non-profit was my hopes going forward, but then Lewis… well he happened.

I nearly threw it all away there with him.

"Sorry about that…" He uttered. "It couldn't wait."

"I can see that," I gritted out. "The chopper, man. You ensured it's clear for Saturday…" I rushed the words out the moment he finally gave me his attention. You never know when Blake may drift off and become preoccupied yet again.

"Yes, you made it perfectly clear what would happen if we destroyed your plans for the weekend." He chuckled deeply. "I mean it was a charity auction. The guy would probably be happy with a greasy burger and a few beers watching some sort of sport." I chuckled at the irony at how Blake's idea was so right, but oh so wrong.

I squinted my gaze and furrowed my brow in frustration at him.

"He donated a lot of money for this time with me to Hope Liberty Hospital, the guy deserves it." I stressed out to him. "Not that I should have to explain this to you," I admitted. My nostrils flared as I tapped my oak wooden desk and crossed my feet over at the ankle. "You wouldn't do anything so chivalrous, would you, Blake? You've always been the one needing control and structure. If it doesn't benefit you in the slightest then you don't bother to care."

"You know me too well, dear brother," Blake uttered as he leaned back into his chair, undid his cuff links and placed them onto the desk in front of him before he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and crossed his arms. "Do you even have a clue who this guy is? He could be literally anyone and you're treating him as the next gift to any man." He chuckled. "What if he hurts you?"

"It's a good thing that I'm a doctor then, isn't it?" I hurled the words back at him. "Kennedy finalized the whole details herself and assured me that the guy is someone she personally knows." I admitted. "Anyway, that doesn't matter to me. He could be a new friend to have in the area—not like I have many of those yet, is it?"

"Well, you chose to move out there, away from us all?" Blake interrupted as he raised his brow. "But still when do you discover who this guy is? I'm happy to do a background check on him if you?—"

"Blake, I'm fine," I insisted, "If I need you, I will call you. Just trust that I know what I'm doing." I huffed out.

"Right, you better do, or I'll get Tess to call and you know…" He began as I shook my head at him.

"I'll be fine. Don't be worrying Tess, or mom, for that reason," I huffed out with a scowl across my face. "I mean it, that's the last thing any of us need. Archie, Jayden and Hunter could do without the grief too."

"Fine." He snapped back. "I better get back and let the next client in. "I think I've let them sweat long enough." He chuckled as he started to roll down his sleeves and place his cufflinks back in place. "The days are never done around here. Talk soon, little bro."

"Bye, Blake," I whispered as I cut the video call and slumped backwards into my reclining chair.

One thing was for certain, tomorrow night's big reveal of who my date was couldn't come soon enough. I just hoped that the guy and I would get along okay.

Or this trip I had planned would be more disastrous than that time I spent in the bathroom with my now patient—oh Lewis.

Fuck Lewis. I groaned at the recall. That mouth. That man. My bad luck.