Chapter Nineteen

A lice hoped Gerald would cease tormenting her now that she was under Adam’s protection, but at his very next chance, the man remained glowering nearby, making her uncomfortable. Moreover, he was reminding everyone of who she used to be.

And everyone who knew her as Lady Fairclough would recall her to be the debutante who had comported herself poorly and was disgraced before having a hasty wedding. Many had thought her with child until that was proved to be untrue.

All she wanted was to be left in peace, to love Adam, and to experience his love in return. Yet as soon as her husband was not by her side, Gerald moved closer.

“I was not surprised by your recent marriage, only that it took you so long, two whole years, to trap another poor sap.”

She couldn’t believe his gall.

“I did not trap anyone,” Alice objected.

“My brother was lured in by your loose lips, and I imagine Diamond was brought into your web with similar enticements.”

At the same moment, even as Richard’s brother spoke his hateful words, Adam returned.

“I thought I told you to stay away from my wife.”

“So territorial,” Gerald said. “A good thing you didn’t know the old Lady Alice —”

“Lady Diamond!” Adam corrected him. “If I have to tell you again to respect my wife, it will be with my fist.”

“Barbaric threats ill-befitting a future earl, but I take your meaning. I shall call her by her correct title when I need to address her at all, but I can tell you this. I do not in any way respect your wife. None of the eligible men from her first Season did. You can ask Dingham, Alton, Nyclyffe, or countless others. They all enjoyed her charms yet married others. I could see through her fa?ade, but I could not stop my brother from pursuing her. And sadly, he was the one who got caught kissing her.”

Adam stepped past her, physically pushing Fairclough back a step. “If you dislike her so, then why do I keep finding you bothering her?”

Fairclough shook his head. “After all she put him through before she drove him to drink and an early grave, she ought to pay off his debts or at least her own. If only my brother had stepped aside a minute or two earlier, then the next man would have taken his turn and been snagged by her noose.”

Alice screamed as Adam’s fist landed on Gerald’s nose, knocking the man’s head back. As the blood instantly started to flow, her former brother-in-law drew a handkerchief from his pocket.

“You can hit me, but you can’t erase her past. I don’t hear your wife disavowing my words, do you?”

In fact, no one heard anything more since the room had gone silent.

“Get away from her,” Adam spoke into the unnerving quiet, his tone low and menacing.

Around them, Alice saw the shock on the other guests’ faces. Adam had been brought low enough to brawl at a private party. The mortified looks were directed at her husband, not at Gerald, who’d been unthinkably wronged in polite society. And it was all her fault.

However, as if being punched in the face was not a dreadful breach of civility in their world, while trying to maintain his dignity, Gerald shrugged and turned away.

His last remark, sounding loud in the still hushed drawing room, resonated in her ears. “You’ll find out the truth, Diamond. Mark my words.”

Alice realized she was trembling, and it wasn’t because of Gerald’s threats, nor that every gentleman and lady was openly gawking at her. It was the way Adam looked when he finally faced her.

“I think we should go home and talk.” His tone was calm but cool. Polite as a stranger, in fact.

She would have to go further back in her past and tell him everything.

“Is our marriage based on untruths?” Adam asked, and for the first time, she saw something in his eyes other than admiration or love.

Thankfully, it wasn’t disdain which would be the end, but it was mistrust which might also spell disaster.

Unless she rectified it at once.

“I did withhold the entire truth,” she said, licking her lips. If only she’d told him at the outset what a stupid woman he was falling for.

“I cannot say I am now without wariness,” he admitted. “You lied about being a governess, about your name, about why you left London. You ran away from me without a goodbye as if you didn’t care whether we saw one another again. You withheld details about the current Lord Fairclough’s threats. And now, I have to listen to that arse insinuate that you will be unfaithful. Why would he think such a thing?”

Alice was seated on one side of the hearth in his study and Adam on the other. He’d taken her into that room on purpose, she surmised, to keep their bedroom as a sanctuary, a place only of true love and pure passion.

“Richard was not entirely to blame for our dreadful marriage.”

“What do you mean?” Adam asked, looking older for his tight-lipped appearance.

She twisted her skirts in her fingers. “I mean to say, it wasn’t as if he tricked me into marrying him. The sordid truth is that I was a flirtatious debutante. I enjoyed the power I had over the young men and led them on because I could. I was not like Lady Susanne. Rather, I enjoyed playing games. Despite being smart enough to know better, I did it anyway, lacking all of her sweetness.”

“Go on,” he said, sounding weary as he watched the coals cooling in the hearth.

“You won’t like this,” she warned him.

“No, I probably won’t, but not knowing is killing me. Also, it is straining our marriage, don’t you think? With every new discovery of something to which I am not fully privy, I feel more like we are strangers.”

“I understand.” She rose to her feet, gestured for him to remain seated, and then Alice began to pace. “I thought Richard Fairclough to be a rum duke the first time I met him. Did you know him?”

“Only of him. He was a few years older, and we didn’t run in the same circles.”

“No, I suppose not, or I would have met you,” she agreed.

He sighed. “I would not have been ready for you, nor for marriage, not four or even three years ago.”

She nodded. She hadn’t been ready either, at least not for what occurred.

“I behaved inappropriately with more than one man during the Season. Escaping the neglectful watch of my mother was easy. I let more than one suitor take me into a dimly lit garden or a discrete alcove or even the dark walk at Vauxhall for a kiss that wasn’t stolen but given freely.”

Adam stared at her with his deep blue eyes, honest and clever, and her cheeks burned with shame.

“I relished their attention, to be honest.”

He nodded. “I think that’s understandable. Many a beautiful young lady has toyed with the hearts of the men who pursue her. It has happened to me. However, when we met, you were refreshingly the opposite.”

“Because I learned my lesson. Although I admit, I was frightened by how quickly I became captivated with you, and how much I wanted you to kiss me.”

He smiled wryly. “After the first time, when you punched me.”

“The first kiss was heavenly,” she agreed, “but I thought you were playing with me. And I was angry with myself for enjoying it. I thought I was slipping into my old ruinous, immature ways.”

“Go on with your story, Alice. You allowed Fairclough to take liberties. Then what?”

“Nothing too appalling,” she protested, feeling the need to defend herself. “I’m not a light-skirt!”

“I know that,” he said quietly.

“But how do you know? I might’ve been, yet I vow I wasn’t. I let him and the others kiss me more than once because I liked feeling adored. I confess I mistook their advances for love. I had never felt special or cherished at home.”

“I can hear in your voice you aren’t making a hollow excuse, simply stating the truth as you lived it. I warrant loving parents make a difference.”

Alice nodded, appreciating his understanding. “Richard said all the right things to keep me interested. But I don’t know whether I would have accepted his proposal if I hadn’t been forced to do so by the situation. In fact, I rather think not.”

He blinked, and she hoped she wasn’t causing her husband undue distress, deciding to hurry to the bitter ending.

“His brother is incorrect, exaggerating terribly. There was certainly not a line of men waiting to kiss me.”

“Only one per night?” Adam asked wryly.

She was relieved to hear a more familiar teasing tone.

“Richard monopolized my attention that night. We were caught alone together in a buttery of all places. Given the nature of the room, I was tipsy, and he was well in his cups when we were discovered. I was relieved and grateful when he offered for me the following morning. In retrospect, I believe he didn’t care if we got caught, despite his being engaged. He was infatuated with me, probably thought I had a large dowry, as large as Lady Mary’s, and he feared I was becoming more interested in another man.”

“And were you?” Adam asked.

She shrugged. “Honestly, they were all the same to me. I didn’t care greatly for any of them. I craved their attention as a rosebush needs water.”

He looked more understanding than she’d expected.

“And thus, you married without love,” he said.

“Indeed. I certainly didn’t love Richard. Even if I had been inclined to do so, he very quickly changed —”

“Doubtful,” Adam interrupted. “More likely, he showed you who he truly was once he had you lawfully wed.”

“I suppose,” she agreed. “And I didn’t care for the man he was. Embarrassing in public, disrespectful and sometimes mean in private, always drunk, and not the least bit interested in me as a person. It was a frightening, lonely year and a half.”

Adam stayed silent.

“From the outset, as soon as I entered society, I did not behave in a manner to protect myself. If I had, I never would have ended up with him. Within a month of the wedding, I decided I deserved it.”

He still said nothing. While Alice felt rueful and responsible, she had hoped Adam would say it wasn’t her fault. “You cannot gainsay me, can you?”

“No, it’s not that,” Adam promised. “I am trying to think of a way to convince you that it’s not a question of whatsoever you deserve. You are not the only person to be tricked or forced into marriage. Nor are you the only person to marry a degenerate through no blame of your own.”

“That’s the thing. I was to blame. Had I been watched over like Lady Susanne —” She broke off. “No, that’s not the issue. Had I cared more about my self-respect than impressing the eligible gentlemen, then I wouldn’t have ended up as Richard’s wife. Previously, I didn’t tell you about my behavior because with the hindsight of marriage and widowhood, I can say I have matured at last. I am also grateful.”

Adam leaned back, looking more relaxed than he had when they began the conversation.

“How so?”

Alice had managed to stop pacing, and now, she stood before the man she adored.

“It may be morally wrong, and many including Gerald Fairclough would say so, but I am thankful Richard died. I learned my lesson but was still facing a lifetime of regret and penitence in the form of a dreadful husband from whom I thought I would never be free.”

Slowly, Adam rose to his feet and approached. Alice waited until he was toe-to-toe with her.

“I love you, Alice. You have shown me your character, and I don’t care if you kissed every man Jack in London in the past, as long as I am the only man you kiss from now on.”

She sagged against him, reached up, and pulled his head down to fuse her lips to his.

When they finally drew apart, Alice’s relief was intense, causing tears to prick her eyes.

“You are the only man who has ever been in my heart.”

“And that’s a gift I shall gladly accept,” he said. “Is there anything else you should tell me?”

“Only that I love you.” She paused and recalled the dinner invitation that had finally come. “And that I once kissed Lord Devlin.”

Invited to tea at the Countess Diamond’s home, along with Adam’s four sisters, Alice went unaccompanied. The Diamond women were her new favorite people. She had never met better females. Not a snippy word or sharp tongue among them, at least not directed toward her. The elder ones made her feel welcome with their kindness, and the younger ones wanted to tell her secrets about their older brother, which turned out to be merely funny stories.

Adam’s mother generously said she had always hoped for another daughter, which was beyond funny considering her large brood. Alice spent two hours laughing with these women, feeling closer to them than she had ever felt to her mother. Had circumstances been different and Lady Francis Malcolm Jeffrey been a loving, attentive, nurturing mother, Alice could imagine her entrance into society might have been different.

When she left, she hadn’t yet reached the safety of her husband’s private carriage before Gerald stepped into her path. Undoubtedly, he had been awaiting her outside the Diamond’s home on Piccadilly, and she wished she had left when the two older sisters had. The countess had wished to show her some embroidered napkins she’d kept for Adam’s bride, and which Alice now carried in a bag.

She could not ignore him since he was standing between her and the carriage door.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded. Perhaps rattling her at Floris perfumery had emboldened Gerald, and knowing Adam wasn’t above planting a facer, he’d decided to catch her alone. However, Alice was bolstered by the strength of the women in the house behind her.

“You think you can abandon the Fairclough family,” he said, “now that you’re married to the heir to an earldom.”

“I am beginning to think you are mad,” she said. “It is not a question of one family or another. There was no one but you and your brother, and he is gone. You must take up the reins of your title, marry if you wish, and get yourself an heir.”

“So much wisdom from the one who was supposed to produce the heir for my brother. Diamond thinks you’ll be popping out his brat. Does he know you are barren?”

White-faced, she approached closer. “That’s a lie.”

“Then why did your previous marriage not beget an heir?”

She couldn’t quite believe she was having this conversation. From what she’d already learned from Purity Foxford, Adam’s sister who was fond of good manners, this was an appalling breach of polite discussion.

“Maybe it was your brother who was unable to bear fruit.”

His eyes narrowed, and his jaw tightened. If Adam’s driver hadn’t been close by, listening to every word and watching, not to mention her in-laws’ home being mere yards away from the vile scene, Gerald might have struck her.

“Is that why you killed him?” he demanded taking a step closer.

Despite growing increasingly frightened, she rolled her eyes and sighed loudly trying to express how ridiculous was his suggestion.

“You are like a dog with a bone. I did nothing of the sort. In all probability, neither your brother nor I have any infertility issues. I never bore him a child because he lost interest in his own wife for the novel amusements of the varied and innumerable whores of London.”

“Undoubtedly with good reason.”

Gerald was never going to see the darker side of Richard. But that didn’t mean she had to accept his vitriol one more minute.

“Enough! You will do as Lord Diamond has told you and leave me alone.”

“Not until you repay his debts.”

“Even if I wanted to — and believe me, at this point, I would pay any price to end our association — I cannot. You have taken everything of value that I had and sold it.”

“Your new husband has enough to pay for my brother’s accounts, unfairly gathering interest each month. Diamond won’t miss a few gold coins. Isn’t that right?”

She shook her head. “My husband has nothing to do with this. Nor shall he!”

“I shall let him know exactly how his predecessor died at your hands.”

“That’s absurd. He won’t believe you, anyway.”

“Man to man, he will. I have proof you were with Richard when he died.”

She took a step back. “I wasn’t,” she insisted. “I was nearby, but —”

“You will hang unless you get me the money to pay off those debts. And even if you escape such a well-deserved fate, you will lose your latest conquest. I won’t rest until Diamond knows how you lured my brother into your web, and then made his life such a hell he had to drink to stay sane. You will not get away with it.”

Without another word, Gerald walked away.

Shaking, Alice climbed into the carriage. Then she thought for a moment and stuck her head out.

“Mr. Heyer,” she addressed the driver, “you shall say nothing of this to Lord Diamond. It is a pack of lies that will only worry him for no reason.”

“Yes, m’lady,” the man agreed.

She had no idea if he would hold his tongue. But she knew she couldn’t let Gerald bring Adam into the ugliness of the Faircloughs. With her heart beating like a horse galloping at the Epsom Derby, Alice sat back against the butter-soft squabs and made a decision. Gerald would have no reason to bother any of the Diamonds if she were no longer there. What choice did she have?