Chapter Five

Mina

I want to hate him!

I want to despise the handsome man staring at me like I matter when we both know that I don't. I want to hate his stupidly handsome face but… that is impossible.

Ten years ago, when Alex Adams left Texas to pursue his music career in LA, I was heartbroken but happy for him. Before his current band, Cosmic Rebels, Alex belonged to a different band he started with my brother. The Bass Monkeys. To Jared and the other band members, the band was a way to perform all over town and get girls, but Alex was serious about music.

When the Bass Monkeys disbanded with everyone moving on to their own things, Alex went on having solo performances and I went to all of them. Sometimes there would be a crowd of a hundred and other times there would be ten people at his show.

I was his first fan. His biggest fan.

He didn't care back then, he sure as hell doesn't care today. To him, I am a stranger he just had sex with.

I know we just met but there was – is a connection between us. You feel it too, right?

The pain returns.

I bring my hand to my chest and rub it in circles to ease the pain that stomps me. Back then, I was young, and it would have been impossible for us to date with our thirteen-year age gap. Heck, I was too young to even understand what love was, but one thing I did know for sure was that I wanted this man to see me. Remember me .

When Alex left Texas ten years ago, he kept in touch with my brother and visited the first few years before he stopped visiting and finally went radio silent.

And yet, despite the initial disappointment of Alex moving away and not keeping in touch, I still listened to all his music in his new band. I knew this man when he was nothing and I worshipped the very ground he walked on.

It's been eight years since I last saw him in person. I can't tell him how much this hurts me!

I… I can't let myself fall back into that hole. Today, I let my feelings for him cloud my judgment, but that will not happen again. I don't regret having sex with him but for my sake, it can't happen again.

I need to go.

Without glancing at the man, I fix my bra and look around for where he dropped my panties. I pull them on, wincing at the soreness when I do so. Okay, so maybe I should have asked Alex to be gentle with me instead of begging for him to be rough to me. In all fairness, it felt good at the time.

Still does.

The song is still playing when I crawl to the edge of the bed and reach down to grab my shirt from where I dropped it before shrugging it on. I climb off the bed to leave when a hand closes around my wrist and I feel the man follow me out of the bed as well.

"Angel–"

"I'm fine." I will be. "We got a little carried away, didn't we?" I flash him a smile I don't feel before quickly turning away.

"Mina–"

"I'll see you tomorrow for the shoot." That is if I'm not fired for sleeping with the rockstar. My eyes shift to the spot I just got deflowered and I wince at the red spots. Everyone will know what just happened here and although LA is a huge city, the entertainment industry… not so much. "Everyone will know."

"Mina!" I don't even realize Alex had moved until his hands are on my shoulder and holding me tightly, forcing my gaze on his. "I will take care of everything, Angel. No one will know what happened here and if someone did hear us, I will make sure it never gets out if that's what you want."

Don't fall for him , Mina.

But God, he's making it so hard for me to not fall deeper in love with him. When he touches me the way he does and fixes those beautiful blue eyes on me, I forget how to breathe. My eyes drop to his lips and… I want to feel them on me once more.

I want his breath to mingle with mine when he kisses me. This time, I will let him take it slow with me. I want to give him everything. Who knows when I'll get the chance to be close to this man again?

Take it. Take me.

It's at the tip of my lips and I see him lean down to kiss me, his breath coming in short, needy pants like mine. He's so close. I can feel his breath against mine and his lips barely graze mine.

So hot.

It's forbidden and I want it – him.

Snap out of it, Mina!

"God," I breathe, palming his massive chest as I close my eyes, forcing in deep breaths except the man is so close that I end up inhaling his deeply intoxicating scent. Warm and masculine. I stop myself from caressing his firm pecs and shove back from his dominating presence. I can't do this. "I need to go."

"Angel," he says thickly, taking a step forward but I take one back. "Let me take care of you. My house–"

"Please let me go," I whisper brokenly. I need a moment to gather my thoughts on what happened today, and I cannot do that around Alex Adams. " Please ."

I can see it in his eyes – his unwillingness to let me go, but I can't be here. I can't be around him. Not when my skin… my heart still carries the memories of his touch. I have felt him in intimate places I never dared explore alone and now, I know what his lips taste like. I know what his tongue feels like pressed against my most intimate parts. I've had my arms wrapped around him as he worked his thickness in and out of me, teasing pleasure points I had no idea existed.

I need a moment.

Alex takes a step back and nods, allowing me to slip into my shoes and run away. I have no idea how I manage to get to the changing room. I barely register the people in the room as I rush to change into my clothes and then I rush out of the very studio I was excited to walk in to this afternoon.

No one spares a glance my way as I walk to the exit. A part of me is terrified that the entire studio knows about Alex and me, but barely anyone glances my way.

Somehow, I make it out and I am already looking for a taxi to take me home. I could use a hot bath and some cheap wine. Just a little to make me feel better about the day I've had but not too much that I'll have a hangover tomorrow when I show up. If I show up .

"Mina!" I turn around and hear Sheila's unmistakable voice call out to me. My brows draw in confusion when I spot my friend parked on the other side of the road, waving for me to join her. I cross over to her confused to see her here of all places.

"Sheila, what are you doing here?"

"What do you mean, you texted me this address and told me to pick you up at six."

"I did?" Fuck, I actually did. I was so excited on the taxi ride here and remember vaguely texting her the location.

"Get in," she says, popping gum with a loud snap before slipping into the driver's seat. I climb in and close the door after me, turning to my best friend before she can start the car. Her eyes narrow on mine when she notices I have something to say. "What?"

"I… I just had sex with… someone."

"What!"

"I just had sex–"

She cuts me off. "Yes, I heard that part loud and clear. What do you mean you had sex? With who? Did someone make you have sex with them in exchange for the role?" her blue eyes darken and turn murderous. "Who was it?"

"Alex Adams."

Her jaw drops to the floor and I would find it hilarious if I wasn't equally surprised by it myself. "T- the rockstar? You mean you had sex with the hottest freaking guy in LA?" she gasps before her expression shifts from surprise to anger. "Did he make you–"

"No, I wanted to."

"For a role?"

"No. I… I wanted him." always have.

"Well, you and millions of other girls around the world if we're being realistic," she says, and I push down the unreasonable jealousy that clouds me. "So, what's the problem? If you wanted to have sex with him and it happened, what's with the long face? Was his dick small?"

I splutter, blinking owlishly at Sheila. "What? No. His…Oh God, I can't believe I'm even talking about this."

"Every girl has wondered it at some point. I mean, it would be unfair if God gave him a handsome face, such talent and a big–"

"Stop," I beg her, covering my face with my palms. "His…manhood is not small. It's big. Very big, trust me. Everything about him is big, maybe a little too big but you get my point."

"Manhood," she snorts before turning serious. "So why the long face?"

I gnaw my lip and question how much I should tell her but I have already named Alex so I might as well go ahead. I haven't violated anything in the NDA I signed. At least I don't think so. Besides I need to talk to someone about this and Sheila is here.

"I knew Alex before he was famous." Her jaw drops back to the floor but this time she's not fast in picking it up. "He and my brother used to be in a band together. I attended all of his concerts, but we lost touch when he moved to LA. When he walked into that room, he didn't even recognize me. And when we had sex…"

"Ouch, that must sting."

"It does," I confess. "I'll admit I was in pigtails when he last saw me, but wouldn't you remember the person that was at the front row of all your concerts or at the very least, your best friend's sister?"

"Wow," she says, falling back on her seat to gather her thoughts and I mirror her action, my eyes looking straight ahead but at nothing in particular. "If it matters so much to you then why didn't you tell him about your connection when you met? Remind him that you two come from way back."

"I panicked." I shift my head to her side. "I haven't seen him in almost eight years and everything between us happened too fast. I wasn't mentally prepared to see him again. He and I are going to be shooting intimate scenes, so it felt awkward to bring it up."

"So let me get this straight. You had sex with arguably the hottest man in LA and you are mad because he doesn't remember you from when you were what? A teen?" Well, when she puts it like that... "Mina, I know girls that would put out a hit on you out of pure spite for getting close enough to Alex Adams and breathing the same air as the man. We should buy wine to celebrate the fact that you lost your virginity to a man built like a Greek god and not to some nerd like I suspected you would."

"Wait, what–"

Sheila whips her hair back and starts the car, totally ignoring my question. Her words make me think that I may have overreacted a tad back there. Should I really ignore Alex not recognizing me? I bet he's met and interacted with millions of screaming fans, more than enough people to forget that teen girl who was obsessed with him.

I settle back on the seat as Sheila pulls into traffic and I figure I should probably talk my friend out of buying us drinks. We are not big drinkers, despite surrounded by alcohol all day but every once in a while, we indulge in cheap wine.

A glass couldn't possibly hurt.