Chapter 25

25

AUGUST 23, 1727 CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA

When I awoke at the Lining Inn the next morning, my heart was still heavy with the lack of answers from Annie. I didn't want to face Marcus and tell him that we had to get back on the Ocean Curse , but there was no other way. We could try to find passage on a merchant ship, but the likelihood that we could get there in time was slim. We needed the command of our own vessel to make haste.

For the first time in my life, I felt like my existence was a ticking clock, and when it struck midnight on my twenty-first birthday, everything might change forever. I needed to know—and the only chance I had was to find someone in Salem who could tell me.

I couldn't waste another minute.

The sun had not yet risen over Charleston, but I got out of bed and took off the beautiful undergarments Marcus had purchased for me yesterday, and I began to dress in the clothes I'd been wearing as a cabin boy. I lifted the dirty binding, wishing I had a clean piece of cloth to wear instead, but it would have to do. There was no time to get more.

At least I'd had a bath, and my skin and hair were clean.

Soon, I was dressed as Carl Baldwin again. And as I stood in front of the mirror, I wanted to weep. The beautiful gown I'd worn the night before was lying on the back of a chair, and all the accoutrements were stacked in a pile on the table. I wanted to take them with me, but how would I explain their presence on the ship should someone find them?

I felt more nervous to appear before Marcus like this than I did last night to show him what I looked like in a gown. But I had no choice, not if I wanted answers.

I left my room and walked down the hall to his. With all the courage I could muster, I knocked on his door and stepped back to wait.

He must not have been sleeping, because he opened his door a few seconds later. He was wearing the blue breeches from last night, with a white cotton shirt, untucked and hanging loose about his torso. His hair was unbound, and he had no socks or shoes on.

"Caroline." He frowned as he took in my appearance. "Why are you dressed like that?"

"May I come in?" I didn't want to discuss this in the hall.

He moved aside as I entered and then closed the door. When he turned to me, I went into his arms, needing the reassurance of his embrace to tell him what I had come to say.

He hugged me back, holding me as close as he had the night before.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he pulled back and put his hand on my cheek. "Why are you dressed like this again? You don't like the gown?"

"I love it."

He smiled as he caressed my cheek with his thumb. "I hardly slept last night, thinking of you. I was just lying here, wondering when I could wake you." His smile fell as he studied me. "What's wrong, Caroline?"

"Can we sit?"

His concern grew as he nodded and moved some of his clothes off a chair. As I took a seat, he sat on the bed across from me.

"I saw Annie in 1927."

He nodded for me to continue.

"I asked her about her double lives and if she knew why it happened to us. She didn't."

"I'm sorry you didn't get the answers you hoped for."

"But she did tell me my grandmother's name in Salem," I continued. "Her name was Rachel Howlett."

"Do you think her family is still there?"

"I don't know, but I need to find them." I took a deep breath. "I asked Annie about her death here—on her twenty-first birthday—and she didn't understand it, either. She wasn't sick. She just simply died and stopped returning to this life."

Marcus watched me, as if trying to put the pieces together.

"I'm afraid it might happen to me, too," I told him. "My twenty-first birthday is in ten days. What if I don't wake up here after that? What if my body dies?"

Realization dawned on his face, and he stood, drawing me to my feet, as if preparing for action. "We can't let that happen."

I nodded, swallowing the emotions choking me. "I don't want to leave here in ten days."

"What can we do?"

"I want to go to Salem and see if Rachel's family is still there. If this happened to me and my mother, mayhap it happened to Rachel and her mother or sisters or aunts. I must find someone who can tell me how to stop this."

Marcus began to pace as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"How long would it take to get to Salem from here?" I asked.

"If we push hard and the winds are favorable, we could reach there in a week's time." He nodded at my clothing. "Is that why you've worn this again?"

"Aye. We need to get to the Ocean Curse as soon as possible."

He continued to rub his neck. "The captain will never take us there. We'll have to find another way."

"But how? We can't charter a ship, and if we buy passage on one that's already going in that direction, we'll have to follow their schedule." I clasped my hands, knowing that I had another way. "I know how we can convince the captain to go to Boston."

He stopped pacing and lowered his hand. "How?"

"The sailor I was speaking to the other day—Timothy—his father claims that he knows the location of the Queen's Dowry. If we can convince Captain Zale that this man is telling the truth, mayhap he'll go to Boston to find the answer, and I can make my way to Salem."

"Timothy?" Marcus asked. "Is he the one who came on board with you from the Adventurer ?"

"Aye."

"What's his father's name? How does he claim to have knowledge of something no one else does?"

I told Marcus Timothy's story, and he slowly nodded. "If he can convince the captain, then your plan might work. But do you want to get back on board the Ocean Curse , Caroline? You're free here—you won't be free if you go back. And we have no guarantee that the captain will go along with our plans."

"I have no choice. If I don't try, then I take the risk of losing this life."

"Even if you try," he said, drawing me back into his arms, "there is no guarantee that you can save it."

I wrapped my arms around his waist, feeling the cording of his muscles under my hands, and said, "I'd rather spend my last week on a pirate ship with you than be with my grandfather at Middleburg Plantation. But it can't be my last week, Marcus."

He tilted my chin up with his gentle hand. "What happened to calling me Maxwell?"

"Do you prefer it?"

"Aye." He smiled. "I love hearing my name on your lips."

I would have said it again, but he quieted me with another kiss.

We didn't tarry long at the inn. I insisted we return the gown and other things to the dressmaker, who was not pleased. The woman agreed to give back most of the money Marcus had spent, though he told her to keep some of it for her troubles. I hated to part with the gown, but there were more important things to worry about as we returned to Chalmers Street to retrieve Nadine.

"I hope Hawk found someone to purchase our goods," Marcus said as we turned onto the street. "I can't tell him why I was too distracted to look for a buyer." He winked at me, and my cheeks grew warm. It would be difficult to hide my feelings from the others when we returned to the Ocean Curse .

I knocked on the door to Mrs. Drywell's home, and a servant answered.

"May I help you?" she asked.

"I'm here to retrieve Nadine," I said.

"I'm sorry." The servant shook her head. "The young lady left during the night."

My mouth parted in surprise. "Nadine isn't here?"

"No, but she left a note for you."

I accepted the note and read it quickly.

I can't return to my life on the Ocean Curse . Edward was right all along. 'Tis no place for a woman.

"There's the matter of payment," the servant said.

I turned to Marcus, who was already on his way up the steps to join me.

"Ned is gone?" he asked.

"Aye." I handed him the note, feeling helpless. "She left during the night."

Marcus read it and then pulled a coin from his pocket, handing it to the servant, whose eyes opened wide at the sum. Then he took my hand, and we began to walk briskly down Chalmers Street toward East Bay.

"I hope she has somewhere safe to go," Marcus said as he let go of my hand, his face grim. "There's no telling how the captain will respond."

"He can't be surprised that she was unhappy. From what she told me, he tried to discourage her from joining him in the first place."

"She's been with him for three years," Marcus said. "He must love her. He'll be devastated that she left without warning."

When we reached the harbor, I was out of breath. Thankfully, Hawk was waiting for us. He was leaning against a piling, watching the activity on the wharf. But when he saw us, he stood.

"Where's Ned?" he asked.

"Left in the middle of the night," Marcus said.

"You don't know where he went?"

"Nay."

"The captain won't be pleased," Hawk said, but he didn't seem as concerned as Marcus and me. Hawk didn't know that Ned was the captain's mistress. "Did you have any luck finding a buyer?"

"Nay," Marcus said again. "You?"

He shook his head and sighed. "The captain will be in a rage when he learns that nothing good came of this visit."

"Come," Marcus said. "Let's be away."

The launch had been instructed to return midmorning, so they were waiting for us, as well. If Marcus had taken me to Middleburg as planned, Hawk and the others would have had to wait all day for his return. Thankfully, they were ready to take us back when we needed them.

It took over an hour to get to the Ocean Curse . I hadn't expected to be back on the ship, but I was so eager to get to Salem, I didn't care how I got there.

Captain Zale stood on the quarterdeck, his arms crossed and his sword at his side. He watched the three of us as we approached. Marcus led the way as Hawk and I walked behind him.

"Where is Ned?" the captain asked as we mounted the steps.

"Can we speak in your cabin?" Marcus asked.

The captain's jaw clenched, and his eyes were hard with anger. He spun on his heel and walked toward the outer room.

Hawk remained outside, as was his custom, but Marcus and I followed the captain into his cabin.

When the door was closed, the captain demanded an answer. "Where is Ned?"

"Left. In the middle of the night."

It took a second for the information to sink in, but when it did, the captain lowered himself into the chair and looked at the floor. I'd never seen him so defeated. If I hadn't known that Ned was his mistress, his behavior would have puzzled me.

But he didn't seem surprised. He almost seemed resigned to her parting.

Marcus waited a few moments and then said, "We have some good news for you. There is a sailor on board who claims his father knows where the Queen's Dowry is located."

The captain slowly lifted his face. "Who claims this?"

I stepped out from behind Marcus and said, "His name is Timothy. His father was a pirate—"

"What's his father's name?" the captain demanded.

"I don't know."

"Bring him to me."

Marcus nodded in my direction, and I left the captain's cabin to locate Timothy. I hoped I wasn't getting the young man in trouble.

It didn't take me long to find him. He was darning a pair of socks on the main deck, and when he saw me approach, he grinned.

"The captain wants to see you," I said, not returning his smile.

He frowned. "The captain has never wanted to see me before. What did I do wrong?"

I had to be honest with him. "I told him about your father, about how he knows where the Queen's Dowry is located."

Timothy's mouth slipped open, and he quickly put aside his darning needle and stood. "I gave you no leave to tell the captain!"

"I'm sorry, I—" How could I explain myself? "I need to get to Boston, and I knew it was the only way the captain would agree to go. We could both be done with the Ocean Curse . You could return home. You won't have to remain a captive any longer."

"I don't know if my father will tell him where the treasure is located. I don't even know if the story is true or if it was a fairy tale my father told me to get me to sleep."

"Wouldn't you like a reason to go home? Get off this pirate ship and have your life back?"

That seemed to appeal to Timothy, and he slowly nodded. "Aye. It would be good to see my little sisters again."

"You could start over," I told him. "Do something good with your life."

He sighed and said, "Come. Let's get this over with."

We returned to the captain's cabin. Marcus was by the window, and the captain was pacing near the table.

Timothy paused at the sight of the captain, his ruddy cheeks paling with uncertainty.

The captain stopped pacing and demanded, "Who are you, boy?"

"Timothy Ludlow, sir."

"Ludlow?" The captain's eyes widened with recognition. "Who is your father?"

"James Ludlow," Timothy said.

"Slim Jim Ludlow?" The captain peered at Timothy. "Aye, you look like him. I spent many an evening with Jim over a pint of ale. Are you telling me that Jim knew where the treasure was and never told me?"

Timothy swallowed and nodded. "Aye. That's what he claimed, anyway."

"And where is your father now?"

"In Boston, sir. On Treamount Street. He accepted the King's Pardon and went home to take care of his family."

Captain Zale began to pace again as the three of us waited.

My heart was in my throat. The captain might agree, and we'd set sail for Boston, or he'd call it all rubbish and want to return to Florida—or he might want to stay in Charleston and look for Nadine, though his earlier behavior suggested that he had accepted her decision to leave him.

If he didn't want to go to Boston, I would be desperate enough to jump ship and find another way, though it would be close to impossible.

"I think 'tis time to pay a visit to my old friend Slim Jim Ludlow," the captain said. "Mayhap Jim will agree to tell me where the Queen's Dowry is, if I agree to give him a share of my profits." He put his hand on Timothy's shoulder and said, "And a share for his son, too."

Timothy's grin relieved me of my guilt about telling the captain his tale.

But it was nothing like the relief I felt knowing we would head toward Boston.

Marcus smiled at me, but I saw the concern in his eyes.

Neither of us knew what we'd find when we got to Salem.

If we got there in time.

After serving the captain and his men supper—this time Timothy had been invited to join them—I took my meal to Marcus's cabin as I used to do before becoming ill with diving sickness. It had been strange not having Nadine at my side as I served the meal. My thoughts and prayers were with her, wherever she had gone. Part of me was happy that the captain was letting her go without a fight. She deserved something better than life on the Ocean Curse .

Perhaps now the rumors of a Jonah on board would fade away.

I was just finishing my boiled pork and stewed peas when the door opened, and Marcus appeared.

The ship had left Charleston Harbor and was out to sea again. The familiar creaking of the wood and the rhythmic rolling of the ocean were like old friends now. Darkness had fallen, and the single lamp hung on the wall, illuminating the cabin with scant light.

My pulse increased at his arrival as it always did, but this time was different. Everything had changed in Charleston.

He closed the door as I stood, our gazes on each other. Was he just as uncertain about how things would proceed? We hadn't been alone since leaving the inn earlier. The cabin felt too intimate and private. His bed and my cot reminded me that we would be sharing the same space again.

I felt like a moth to a flame whenever he was near, and when he opened his arms to me, I entered his embrace freely, inhaling the scent of the soap he'd used at the inn.

He was warmth and strength, an anchor in an uncertain storm.

"Things are different now, aren't they, lass?" he asked as his chin rested on the top of my head.

"Aye." It was all I could say with the butterflies filling my stomach.

When I pulled back, he smiled down at me, but there was a sadness in his countenance, as well. "There is much we need to discuss."

His hand rubbed the small of my back, sending heat and pleasure up my spine. I wasn't sure how I would focus on anything we had to say to each other.

"I don't know how I'll stay in the cabin with you this week and honor you, Caroline."

It was a bold, direct statement, causing me to pull away in surprise.

Yet if he was feeling what I was feeling, I understood.

He took my hand and placed it against his chest where his heart was beating hard. "I laid awake last night, my thoughts so full of you, I couldn't sleep. You've unmasked me and captured my heart, two things I didn't think were possible."

I stepped closer to him, laying my free hand on his cheek. "Your heart is safe with me."

"Aye. I know it to be true."

"You've captured my heart, too," I whispered. "Completely."

He kissed me deeply, holding me tight. When he pulled away, he said, "I want to protect you. Your body, your heart, and your honor. I don't know what will happen when we get to Salem, but I don't want any regrets, no matter how much time we have together. You are more precious to me than anything on earth, and I will protect you at all costs."

His words filled my heart with warmth and affection. I wanted to stay in this moment with him forever.

"It will be impossible to sleep in this room with you," he continued, tracing my chin with his thumb. "But I can't sleep anywhere else without raising suspicions from the captain or the rest of the crew. I thought about asking you to sleep in Ned's bed, but I don't want you outside the captain's cabin or in the same room as Hawk. I wouldn't be able to sleep if you weren't here, under my care."

"I understand."

He placed his hands on either side of my face and shook his head. "I don't think you do, lass." The desire in his eyes was so bright, I felt it all the way to my toes.

I put my hands over his and slowly removed them from my face, needing to know the truth about what the future would hold for us—if I had a future here. I held his hands in mine, putting some space between us. "Am I fooling myself, Marcus?"

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"This," I said. "Do we have a future together? You've told me that you will always be a pirate. Is that true?"

He took a deep breath and let my hands go as he walked away from me to the window. "I want to believe that we have a future together. Part of me wants to just focus on finding your family first, and then try to answer all the other questions later. But you deserve to know my intentions."

I stood where he had left me, trying not to fidget as I waited.

"I want to marry you, Caroline," he said as he turned to meet my gaze. "To build a home and a family. But the truth is, I don't know if that is possible. I've spent most of my life taking from others and there will be penalties to pay. I don't want you to suffer for my mistakes. It wouldn't be fair, and I couldn't live with myself if I caused you pain."

"What does all of this mean?"

"I don't know. And that's why I haven't asked you to marry me. I can't offer myself to you as I am—as the pirate, Marcus Zale. I want to come to you as Maxwell MacDougal, but I need to make my life right before God and man to do that. Yet if I do, I'm afraid that the consequences of my sins will be severe."

Pain squeezed my heart at his words. I tried to take in a breath, but it suffocated me, because I realized that my life wasn't the only one hanging in the balance.

I could lose Marcus as easily as he could lose me.

I walked across the cabin and stood by his side as we looked out the window at the vast North Atlantic Ocean and the countless stars. I slipped my arm around his waist and laid my head on his chest as his arms embraced me.

"I long to make you mine right now," he said as he kissed the top of my head, "but I can't offer you the name of Zale. If God is willing, someday I will give you a name that is true and honorable and worthy of you."

"MacDougal?"

"Aye."

When I looked up at him, he kissed me again, but this time his kiss wasn't filled with desire or passion. It was tender and heartfelt.

Apologetic.

When it was time to go to bed, he insisted I take the alcove bed, while he slept on the cot.