Chapter 18

18

Perrie

“Cass, I’m not going to keep having this conversation with you,” I say into the receiver as I pull up outside the gym.

“All I’m saying is to give the guy the chance to explain his side, Perrie. What harm could it do?” my traitor of a sister's voice echoes in my car, and I scoff. I open my mouth to snap at her because, hello, she hasn’t been here for five years to see how much Acid and I have drifted apart, but she quickly continues, “You love him, Perrie; you have since the moment he told you where to go all those years ago, and you put him on his ass. He became your best friend, your everything, but he was struggling with things none of us knew, still don’t know, and he loves you too, Perrie; anyone can see it, including you.”

My eyes tear up as I focus on the steering wheel, hating that she’s right. His reaction last night, when I told him what happened to me, words I didn’t even mean to blurt out, God it killed me.

He broke.

“I do love him,” I admit, “when we first met, he was so angry. I knew his dad was nasty, and I also knew that’s why he didn’t want to go further with me when I kissed him at sixteen, I knew he had feelings for me, but he’s been trying to protect me from himself.”

“Then why not hear him out?” Cassidy hesitantly whispers.

I sniffle and partially tell her the truth, “Because he slept with me, then left me alone, vulnerable, and then slept with Andrea. Even if she is lying about the pregnancy, he still slept with her.”

I lean back against the headrest as Cassidy clears her throat and calls me out, “But that’s not why you won’t, though, and we both know it. That thing with Andrea, yeah, it’s heartbreaking, but it’s also forgivable; he didn’t cheat, he made a mistake.”

Some tears fall, and I beg, “Cass?—”

She cuts me off, “No. What you went through was horrific but I’m not going to sit here and allow you to ruin your chance at love.”

I sob. “What chance, Cassidy? They raped me, tore away my innocence, and ensured I could only have sex from behind while standing up, bent over, so that no one could grip my hair. I can’t even orgasm. I’m ruined, broken….”

Cass snaps, “You’re not broken, Perrie, and you’ve already told me that you slept with Acid after your attack. Did his hand go into your hair? Was it from behind?”

I swallow the lump in my throat as I wipe my tears, and admit, “It was on the counter at the diner. I was sitting on it, and his-his hand was in my hair….”

“And you didn’t panic, only before he came?” she confirms, and I sigh, giving her the answer she wanted, and she continues, “See. He is your one . You both need to sit and talk, Perrie, and honestly, Acid needs to open up about why he thinks he’s not good enough for you, and yes, that is the vibe he’s giving. He loves you, Perrie, but I think he put you in the friendzone for a reason, and you need to know that reason. Don’t let him push you away, don’t let yourself give in to fear….”

I shake my head and remind her, “He slept with Andrea, Cass….”

She hums, “Yeah, I know, but clearly, that was a mistake, and she’s not pregnant; Piston confirmed that. Don’t let that one little mistake, that bitch, ruin your chance of finally being happy. I want my sister back, Perrie, and right now, you are cold and closed off, and while, yes, you had every right with everything you’ve gone through, I still want my sister back, and I believe Acid is the solution.”

I squeeze my eyes tight. I don’t think I can be happy. I still feel their hands on me, hear their laughter….

Even after I got my revenge, they still haunt me.

A bang echoes in the background, and Cassidy groans as crying can be heard, making me grin. She says, “I’ve got to go. Just think about what I said, alright? Love you, little sister.” She hangs up, and I sigh, dropping my phone.

Why is she so adamant for me to forgive him? So much has just gone on, and I don’t think there’s any overcoming anything.

I notice three texts from Mom asking if we can meet, but instead of answering back, I lock the screen and climb out of the Mustang, grabbing my bag as I go.

Mom refused to leave after the three days she was given and was escorted out by police, along with Andrea. She was given twenty-four hours to grab her things and, last I heard, most went to charity. Since then, Mom’s been staying at a so-called male friend’s house. Cass hasn’t contacted her.

As soon as she’d found out about Mom’s affair, she cut her out of her life, but since it’s become known that Cass still lives in the vicinity, Mom has been trying to contact her.

Cass mentioned Mom came to the hospital, demanding her portion of the sale from the house, and security had to escort her out.

Unlocking the door, I walk into the gym, locking the door behind me, learning my lesson from when Mom barged in, and drop my bag on the reception desk with a sigh, my conversation with my sister in my mind.

I miss him, I know that. I miss the boy I used to spar with while Dad laughed on the sidelines. I miss his laughter, something Acid barely does these days, and I miss his hugs….

“I like what you’ve done with the place, Tinker.”

I jump and look up in shock; my body freezes as I lock eyes with Acid, and my mouth parts when my eyes travel over his shirtless figure….

Oh….

He stands tall in the middle of the ring in only a pair of shorts, and I do believe this is the first time I’ve seen him without a shirt on, and…oh my.

My libido tries to take over, something that only happens with this man, which, yes, I know, says a lot, but I ignore it when I notice the name on his chest.

Perrie.

Okay, so Cass is right. He does feel something for me, but that doesn’t mean we can be together, right?

“Dare you to spar with me, Tinker,” he says when I don’t say anything, rooted to the spot near the desk. I shake my head, not willing to go near him and his chiseled chest as my eyes go to his hair running from his navel to underneath his shorts.

Damn….

“I didn’t realize you were a chicken, Tinker,” Acid goads, and I snap my eyes at him with a warning.

Where’s the guy who broke yesterday? The guy who didn’t say a word as he escorted me to my car, followed me home, then left?

He grins and holds his arms out. “Come on, Tinker. How many times have you pictured hitting me?”

Well, when he says it like that….

My jaw ticks, and without giving it too much thought, I remove my coat and remove my uniform, glad I put on my sports shorts and bra underneath it this morning. I storm to the ring as Acid grins, bouncing on the balls of his feet, keeping his eyes on me as I climb into the ring.

Giving me a wink as I pull my hair up in a messy bun, he turns and picks up the boxing bag, throwing it over the ropes, and I freeze at the several large scars lacing his back, a lion tattoo covering the deeper ones that are still noticeable, and my sister’s words float in my head.

“He thinks he’s not good enough for you, and yes, that is the vibe he’s giving.”

My breathing picks up, and my tears fall as I eye each ragged scar before he turns, and our eyes connect.

He softens, seeing my tears, and he takes a fighter’s stance, nodding for me to do the same. “Let’s talk, shall we, Tinker?”

I swallow the lump in my throat and get into a stance before I choke out, “There’s nothing to talk about.”

He hums before swinging his fist. I dodge it, and he says, “Okay, I’ll talk, you listen….”

I narrow my eyes at him and swing my right fist. He blocks it, then my left.

“First off, I hate the fucking makeup caked on your face today, Tinker. It doesn’t suit you.” He grunts as he tries to block my hits.

I growl at the ass and twist to elbow him, but he catches it just before I hit his face.

“Got to hide the bruises somehow,” I spit back as I sweep my leg out. Again, he dodges my advances, and I grunt when his fist connects with my ribs.

Coughing, I step back a little, and he grins, goading me, “I thought you were undefeated?”

I glare at him and snap, “I’m also recovering, my body aches….”

He laughs, and I run at him, catching him off guard as I jump up, wrap my legs around his waist, and move my body around him, pushing with all my force, and slamming him onto the ring floor.

Acid groans. “Fuck’s sake, Tinker….”

I breathe hard, rolling onto my back.

“Shouldn’t get so cocky then,” I breathe.

He chuckles with a grunt as he gets up and then holds his hand out for me. Reluctantly, I take it, but he doesn’t let go when I stand. Instead, he steps closer to me, his eyes racing between mine.

“I never fucked, Andrea,” he shocks me, my mouth wide. His jaw ticks as he cups mine and admits, “A week after I ran from you, from us, she showed up at the club, claiming to be worried for you, that you changed.” He licks his bottom lip and reluctantly says, “I told her to get the fuck off club property.”

I furrow my brows and struggle. “But she said, I mean, you didn’t….”

He gives me a sad smile and rasps, “I took my eyes off my drink for one moment. Piston found the footage.”

My pulse races, hearing his insinuation.

Oh God, she drugged him….

My eyes tear up, and he sighs, dropping his forehead against mine, and admits, “I don’t remember getting to my room. I have flashbacks where she’s begging me to get hard, but when I woke up, she was in my bed with an evil glint in her eyes, and I had a condom on, but it was empty….”

My nostrils flare, and I confirm, “She assaulted you and tried claiming you two screwed and got her pregnant?”

He clears his throat. “Yeah, Tinker. Piston hacked her medical records. She’s on a waitlist with the hospital for donor insemination, she was hoping I wouldn’t notice the timeframe.”

I grip his arms tightly, and squeeze my eyes shut at his admission.

“Tinker,” he whispers, and I look at him. Pain shines back at me as he says, “For years, I was beaten by my father, and it shaped who I am today. You saw my back, something no one has witnessed, not even Piston, and he can’t know; he thinks I got let off after he became old enough to do Aiden’s dirty work, not realizing I was doing everything in my power to ensure I got the brunt of things.” He sighs. “Tinker, when I ran away from you that night, I’d panicked because I went from happy that I finally got the girl I gave my heart to, to realizing I transferred my filth on her. Then the Andrea situation happened, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe….”

My tears fall, my grip on his arms tightening. I knew his father was nasty, but to abuse his kids….

My eyes race between Acid’s, and fear shines in his dark greens.

“You’re not telling me the whole story, are you?” I inquire, and he smiles a little.

“No, Tinker, I’m not,” he admits, “and don’t get me wrong, I love you,” my breathing halts at his words, my mouth parting, “I love you so fucking much, but I’m not ready to dive into my past just yet, just like you didn't dive into what happened to you.” He squeezes me tightly. “I will open up soon, I just need time. No one knows the trauma I went through, what I had to do to ensure Piston only got a few beatings.” He pulls my body tight with his, and I inhale, his forest scent filling my senses. “I need you to give me time. I know I hurt you, I know I pushed you away, but I have good reasons for it all, I just went about it the wrong way. I even fucking made myself vulnerable enough to be tricked by that bitch, something that hurt you, and I’ll never forgive myself for it. Fuck, Tinker, I thought staying in a friendship was for the best; I’m fucking dirty, tainted, and the thought of putting that on you….”

I swallow hard, trying to contain my shaking, my tears flowing at the pain flowing from him.

“Don’t cry for me, Tinker,” he chokes out.

I shake my head, muttering, “I hate you,” he nods, “but I love you. too…I-I, I’m so confused….”

Gently, Acid presses his lips against mine, and I melt. He ends it too quickly, whispering, “I’m going to do everything I can to prove to you how much I love you, to help you understand why I walked away.”

I close my eyes and place my head on his chest, a feeling deep in my gut telling me that after he opens up fully, I’ll never want to let him go again, and that thought—it’s scary.