31. Chapter 24

Since Wednesday, Josh and I have been in constant communication, and I can't get rid of this silly grin on my face. We decided to keep the fact that we are considering making this real quiet until we both know if what we feel is real rather than just getting caught up in the part we are playing. My doubts about it are still at the forefront of my mind, but I have to admit that I haven't felt this happy or excited about someone in a really long time.

And it scares me so very much.

I've known Josh for a long time. He's not just my best friend's brother; he's like family. What if things don't work out, and I lose him too?

Take a breath, Brie. Nothing is set in stone yet. We are just exploring possibilities. Take your foot off the gas.

I think about Josh and how he's always been honest and straightforward with me, even at times when I didn't want to hear it. I know he has a reputation, but I've also never seen him be anything but respectful to anyone he was dating. That first year as a professional football player, he did go a bit crazy with the partying and the fame got to his head, but it was pretty short-lived.

This comes down to trusting him, Brie. You either trust the Josh you know, or you don't. It's simple.

A laugh escapes my lips.

Simple? Nothing about Josh Owens is simple.

An image of him at the Colorado Children's Hospital pops into my head, and my grin returns full force. He was amazing with the kids, the parents, and me. He made me feel so comfortable and at ease in a situation that could've been extremely awkward. Warmth spreads from my chest throughout my entire body, and every part of me feels light.

"Brie!" Susie's voice brings me back to the present moment. "You just walked past Thanks-A-Latte! You are here to grab a coffee, right?!"

My face heats as I look up to see where I am and realize she's right. I plant my palm on my forehead and turn around to face her while walking back toward the coffee shop. The grin she's wearing makes my face get hotter, and I try to play it off. "I was thinking about what I'm doing with the kids for next week"s classes."

"Sure you were," Susie mocks me but doesn't push, which I'm grateful for.

Susie knows me better than anyone, which has me almost as nervous about her as I am about things with Josh. But she also knows that pushing a subject too hard with me will make me deny it even more. Knowing that means that she'll be looking for me to say or do anything that could give away my true feelings.

Susie and I are playing a game of chess, and right now, she has the upper hand. I take a deep breath and hold the door open for her. We walk in together and get in line. Today is the first time I'm walking into Thanks-A-Latte, where no one stopped to stare. I guess #Briosh is old news. Everyone in Pleasant Hollow thinks we are official, and now we are just a boring old couple.

Official.

A lazy grin stretches my face as that word brings me back to my conversation with Josh.

"What's that look about?" Susie chuckles.

"What look?" I counter.

"OH. COME. ON!" She quips. "Can't you just be honest with me? I know, and you know I know."

"I know you know a lot of things, Suse. You're really smart." I chuckle. I step up to the counter, say hi to Rachel, and then place my order. I can hear Susie behind me letting out an exasperated groan, which has me smirking. Maybe she's not completely on her game. I look at the counter to compose my face and then look back up to find her staring at me with wide eyes.

"What?" I ask with raised eyebrows.

"UGH!" Susie throws her hands up, and I laugh at her. "I can't with you two. You're both driving me crazy."

"I know for a fact that Josh has been driving you crazy for your entire life. Thanks, Rachel." I grab my coffee and turn from the counter, trying not to react to Susie. Teasing her like this is way too much fun. I think I like it.

As I'm waiting for Susie to grab her coffee, I notice everyone looking in my direction. The murmurs of the crowd get louder. I furrow my brow, wondering what could have everyone murmuring like that. Then I hear Susie gasp and I put my hand to my chest.

"Are you okay?" She's looking down at her phone, and when she turns to me, her face is a pale white. "Susie, what? Is it Josh? Your mom or dad? Please, you're scaring me!"

She takes a deep breath and looks back at her phone. I can hear everyone around me getting angry as whatever Susie is not telling me registers.

"How could he?" I hear from somewhere in the building.

"This is so wrong!" I hear another voice say.

"Susie?" I question in a mere whisper.

"Brie, I'm so sorry," she responds. "I'm positive, though, that what this looks like isn't what it is. I know there is no way that Josh—"

I rip the phone out of her hand before she can finish. My heart feels like it's caught in a vice, and it's trying to break its way through my ribcage. When I see what everyone is looking at, my stomach drops to the floor, and I can't stop the gasp that escapes my mouth.

"Brie, really. He would never disrespect you in this way! My brother is not this person. There has to be an explanation for what this really is." I can't hear her. I don't hear anything except the pounding of my heart and maybe the sound of a tiny crack as it slowly breaks.

I silently hand the phone back to her and start to head toward the exit. Susie doesn't say anything; she just follows me out of the shop. When we are halfway down the block, I feel her hand on my arm. "Brie?"

"Suse, it's okay. I'm okay." But even to my ears, my voice rings hollow. "This entire thing is fake; he can kiss whoever he wants."

"Brie, there has to be some explanation." Susie looks me hard in the eyes. "I know that Josh cares about you and would never treat you like this. Ever. It has to be fak—"

"You mean like our relationship," I spit out. "Susie, stop. It's okay. Really! I'm okay. Josh doesn't owe me anything. This whole thing—" I move my hands in a circle, splashing my coffee on the ground. "Was just pretend. It was going to end anyway. Looks like it will just be ending sooner than anticipated."

"Brie." Susie's voice is soft. "Talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm okay. It's all okay." My voice cracks. "I gotta go. I'll call you later."

Tears burn the back of my eyes as I leave Susie staring at my retreating back. I turn to face her as I continue walking backward and give her a shaky smile. "I'm fine, I promise."

Her raised eyebrow and cocked head tell me she doesn't believe me one bit. I turn away from her and start walking. I have no idea which direction I'm heading or where I'm going. I just need to get away. Get away from this ache in my chest, from the pressure behind my eyes.

My entire body is numb, and my hand is clutching my chest. I lift my hand to my cheek and feel wetness.

When did I start crying?

I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn to see Susie. She puts her arm around me and starts leading me to her car. She helps me get in and then heads to the driver"s side. Immediately she goes to the glovebox and pulls out some napkins. I chuckle at the thought that we all keep them there. Then, rather indelicately, I blow my nose.

"Thank you," I whisper.

"I got you. Always." She squeezes my hand and starts to drive me home. The last thing I hear is her mumble something that sounds like. "I know this isn't what it looks like. But I am definitely going to kill my brother."

I scoff at that. Yup, it's definitely not what it looks like.

"So what are we doing later?" I ask after I've completely pulled myself together. Susie's eyes widen as my mask is fully in place. She looks forward and puts on a neutral expression.

"Scrabble?" She asks, eyebrows raised.

"Perfect."

Thankfully, Susie doesn't say anything else.