Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

A MONTH LATER

Kenzie

“Hey, Tori,” I say, answering her call. I hear people talking in the background, kids crying, and some kind of announcement going off. “Where are you right now?”

“The airport. I’m waiting for a flight. I know it’s loud, but it’s the only time I had to talk.”

She’s been traveling nonstop for her job and working seven days a week. She texts me all the time, but I haven’t talked to her since the first week of classes.

“Sorry it took me so long to call. I like the job, but the hours are insane. I never get a break.”

“Don’t worry about it. I know you’re busy. I am too. The professors here assign a lot more work than my old school.”

“But are you liking it?”

“I love it. The college is great.”

“I’m really sorry I haven’t called. You needed a friend after the whole Liam thing and I haven’t been there for you. I feel terrible.”

“It’s fine. I understand. And your texts have helped.”

Every day, she sends me inspirational texts about moving on, staying strong, the joys of being single. I don’t know where she gets all these inspirational quotes. Some are lame, but some are actually good, like the one about how a relationship should bring you peace, not stress.

Being with Liam was stressful, yet I didn’t realize it when I was dating him. I assumed the anxious feeling I’d get when I was around him was love. But the rapid heartbeat? The nervous feeling in my stomach? Never feeling relaxed? Those weren’t signs of love. They were signs of stress.

I was always trying to do things to make Liam happy, but it never worked because he’s just not a happy person. Tori saw that, but I didn’t. She kept telling me to stop trying so hard with Liam. To stop doing so much for him. She could see all my efforts to please him were stressing me out, but I couldn’t.

Being with Jace is never stressful. I can relax around him, and when I’m stressed from my classes, he calms me down. Even if we’re not talking, just being near him relaxes me.

That’s how I should’ve felt when I was with Liam. He was my boyfriend, the guy I loved. Being with him should’ve made me feel good, which I thought it did, but I always had this underlying anxiety around him.

“You sound so much better,” Tori says. “I know you don’t believe this, but you were a mess when you were with Liam. The guy was making you miserable and you couldn’t even see it.”

“I do now. Liam wasn’t right for me. I’m not sure he’s right for anyone until he figures out why he’s so unhappy.”

“Finally! You’re finally getting it!”

“What?”

“You’re finally getting that Liam is just one of those people who can’t be happy no matter what. He’ll never be satisfied with what he has. It’ll never be good enough. That’s why he’ll cheat on every girl he dates.”

“You knew he’d cheat on me?”

“I was hoping he wouldn’t, but honestly?” She sighs. “When you told me, I wasn’t that surprised.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that when I was dating him?”

“Because you wouldn’t have believed me. And then you would’ve been mad at me for saying it. You thought Liam was the one. You talked about marrying him. Nothing I said would’ve changed your mind. You thought the guy was perfect.”

“Not perfect, but I did think he was the one. How could I be so stupid?”

“You aren’t stupid. You just wanted something so badly that you overlooked all his faults. But now look at you. It’s only been what… a month since you two broke up? And you’re doing great. I thought you’d still be blaming yourself, but you’re actually seeing Liam for the person he really is. Maybe my inspirational texts actually worked.” She laughs.

“They did, but it’s also Jace. He’s helped me see Liam for the guy he really is, instead of the guy I wanted him to be.”

“Have you and Jace been talking a lot?”

“Yeah, but not about Liam. It’s just being around Jace has made me realize a relationship shouldn’t be as difficult or as stressful as it was with Liam.”

“But you’re not dating Jace.”

“Yeah, but if we were dating, I don’t think anything would change. I wouldn’t be constantly trying to make Jace happy because he’s already a happy person. He doesn’t look for the bad in everything the way Liam did. Even after Jace broke up with his ex, he wasn’t acting like the world was going to end. He was trying to get past it, learn from it, and find a way to move on.”

“Have you two been hanging out a lot?”

“Yeah, but it’s only because I haven’t made a lot of friends yet. And I like spending time with him. He’s fun and he makes me laugh, which is exactly what I need right now.”

“So what do you guys do? Just hang out at home or go out?”

“Both. Last night we went to this Mexican restaurant we like. And last weekend he took me to a concert. We went to dinner first, then had drinks later.”

“Okay, hold on. This sounds like you’re dating.”

“We’re not dating. We’re just two people who had our hearts broken at the exact same time. We’re helping each other get through it.”

“By going out to dinner? Having drinks? Going to concerts? That sounds like dating to me.”

“He was supposed to go to the concert with Nikki. He bought the tickets months ago. He didn’t want to bring a date to a concert that was meant for his ex so he brought me instead.”

“Is that what he said?”

“Well, no, but I’m guessing that’s why he asked me instead of some other girl.”

“Or he asked you because he wants to date you and this concert was like a date, even though you’re both saying it wasn’t.”

“It wasn’t a date. There was no hand-holding. No kiss at the end of the night. It was just two friends going out.”

“Did he pay for anything?”

“He paid for dinner, and obviously the concert tickets, but that doesn’t mean anything.”

“It means he sees it as a date.”

“Friends can pay for dinner. I’ve bought you dinner plenty of times and you’ve done the same for me.”

She gets quiet.

“Tori, I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not true. I’m not dating Jace, or even thinking about it.”

“And he feels the same?”

“Yes.”

We actually haven’t talked about it, but we both know it’s not a good idea to get involved with each other.

“And you both want to start dating again, right?”

“Yeah. Definitely.”

“How are you going to meet anyone if you’re spending all your time with Jace?”

“I’m not spending all my time with him.”

That’s kind of a lie. If we’re not in class or Jace isn’t working, we’re usually together. And sometimes when he’s at work, I show up and talk to him before my workout. I could go to the gym some other time, but I go when he’s working because I miss him. Tori would say that’s because he’s more than my roommate, which is why I’m not telling her this.

“So who have you gone out with?” she asks.

“I haven’t dated anyone yet, but I will.”

“I can’t believe a guy hasn’t asked you out by now. You used to get asked out all the time back home.”

“It’s not that I haven’t been asked out. I just haven’t wanted to go out with any of the guys who’ve asked.”

“Why? What’s wrong with them?”

“I didn’t feel any type of connection with them.”

“You’re not going to feel that the second you meet a guy. You need to go on a date. Get to know him.”

I used to think that was true, but now I think you really do need to feel something right away or it’s not going to go anywhere. I’m not saying you need to see fireworks, or stars, or have your heart flutter, but you have to feel something. Some kind of connection.

I felt a connection with Jace the moment we met, but not in a romantic way. We’d both had our hearts broken and were connecting over our shared pain, or that’s what I tell myself. If I’m being honest, it was more than that. I just don’t like admitting that because it means I had feelings for Jace from the moment we met. And now, those feelings have only gotten stronger.

“What about Jace?” Tori asks. “Has he been on any dates?”

“One, but it ended before it started. He said they weren’t a good match so they didn’t even make it to dinner.”

“Let me guess. He took you instead.”

“Only because I had nothing to do and he was already dressed to go out.”

“Kenzie, you can’t be that clueless.”

“I’m telling you, Jace and I are not dating. He’s just a friend.”

“Then prove it. Go out with someone else. The next guy who asks you out. Even if you don’t feel anything for the guy, just go out with him. For one date.”

“I’m not going out with someone I don’t even like.”

“You won’t know if you like him until you go out with him. That’s why people date. To figure out if they like someone. You need to stop turning down guys who ask you out. You have to at least give the guy a chance, but that’s never going to happen if you spend all your time with your roommate.”

“I’m not spending all my—”

“Would you just agree to it? If you don’t, I’m going to assume it’s because you have feelings for Jace.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll go on a date. Can we talk about something else now? What about you? Are you seeing anyone?”

“I wish. I don’t have time to date. I don’t even have time to call my best friend. I may have to start calling you at midnight. It’s the only time I have free. Hey, how’s your mom? Have you heard from her?”

“Only through texts. She tried to call me last week, but her phone kept cutting out. She can’t get much of a signal there. And sometimes I don’t get her texts until a day later.”

“But she’s having a good time?”

“She loves it. Every weekend she does some kind of crazy adventure. I think this weekend is ziplining. Or maybe that’s later. I can’t remember.”

An announcement blares through the phone.

“My plane’s boarding. I gotta go.”

“Okay. Talk to you later.”

“I don’t know when I’ll be able to call again, but by our next call, you better have gone on a date. Or more than one.”

“Yes, Mom,” I say rolling my eyes.

She laughs. “Someone has to take her place while she’s gone. I gotta go. Bye!”

She hangs up and I slip my phone in my backpack. I’m on campus, sitting outside on a bench, waiting for my next class to start.

“Mind if I sit here?” I hear someone say.

Looking up, I see a tall, good-looking guy smiling at me.

“Sure.” I scoot over on the bench.

“Kenzie, right?” he asks.

“Yeah. Do we have class together?”

“No, but my friend does. He’s in your psychology class.”

“Oh.” I look at the guy, confused. “So um, he told you about me?”

“I asked him. I was waiting for him after class last week and saw you walk out. I wanted to know who you were. I hadn’t seen you before.”

“I’m new here. I did my first two years at community college.”

As we talk, I try to figure out if I feel anything for him. I don’t feel a connection, but I do think he’s attractive. He has nice eyes. They’re brown with flecks of gold, and when he smiles, a tiny dimple appears in his cheek. His hair is dark, almost black, and cut really short, but it looks good on him.

“This may sound strange given that we just met,” he says, “but I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime.” When I don’t answer right away, he says, “No pressure. We could just go for coffee. Take a walk. Whatever you want.”

Remembering my promise to Tori, I say, “Sure. We can have coffee.”

He smiles. “Great! How about now? Do you have class?”

“Yeah, and then I need to go home and study for a test. How about tomorrow? Maybe around ten?”

“Sure. Is the campus depot okay? I have class at eleven so I can’t go too far.”

“That works.” I get up. “I need to get to class so…”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

I walk off, then turn back. “I forgot to ask your name.”

“Neal.” He laughs. “Sorry. I should’ve introduced myself. I thought I did, but I obviously didn’t. Too nervous, I guess.”

“I make you nervous?”

“Are you kidding?” He smiles. “You’re gorgeous. I didn’t think there was a chance in hell you’d say yes.”

He thinks I’m gorgeous? I don’t think I’m gorgeous. Cute, maybe, but not gorgeous. Liam never described me as gorgeous. When we first started dating, he said I was beautiful, but after that he never complimented my appearance, even when I tried really hard to look nice for him.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say.

“Yeah. See ya!”

As I walk to class, I text Tori and tell her I have a date. She doesn’t respond because she’s flying to wherever it is she’s going, but when she lands, she’ll be happy when she sees my text.

When I get home later, I find a note from Jace saying he got called into work and won’t be able to make dinner. We were going to make it together. Those magic pans he ordered from that infomercial were backordered and didn’t ship out until last week. They finally arrived yesterday so we were going to try them out tonight.

I don’t like cooking, but I like it when I’m cooking with Jace. We make dinner together a couple times a week. He’s a better cook than me so he does most of it. I just help with whatever he needs. We turn on music and have some beers. It’s fun and I always look forward to it so I’m disappointed he won’t be home tonight.

After grabbing a snack, I go in my room and start reading through my notes to prepare for tomorrow’s test. Ten minutes later, I hear the front door open. Is Jace home already? Maybe it was slow at the gym and his boss sent him home.

I go out to the living room, expecting to see Jace, but instead I see a skinny blonde girl with a key in her hand. Did Jace give this girl a key to the house? Why would he do that without telling me? Is he dating her?

“Can I help you?” I ask, which sounds dumb, but I didn’t know what else to say.

“Who are you?” she asks, looking me up and down.

“Kenzie. I live here.”

“You live here? Since when?”

“Since a month ago. Who are you?”

She huffs, and puts her hand on her hip. “I thought Carson was kidding when he said Jace’s roommate was a girl.” Her eyes narrow. “So you’re sleeping with him?”

“What? No. We’re just roommates.”

“Yeah, right.” She takes off down the hall that goes to the bedrooms.

“Wait? What are you doing?”

“Getting my stuff.” She goes in Jace’s room and straight to his dresser.

“Your stuff?” As I stand in the doorway, it hits me that she’s his ex. She has to be. Why else would he have her stuff? “So you’re Nikki?”

“Obviously,” she says, slamming the top dresser drawer shut. She moves to the next one. “I’m sure he told you about me. We were practically married.” She slams the second drawer and moves to the third.

“Until you cheated on him.”

Her head whips back to me. “He didn’t give me what I needed. That’s his fault, not mine.”

“And what exactly did you need that he wasn’t giving you?” I ask, trying to hide how angry I am that she’s trying to justify her cheating. She’s just like Liam. She refuses to take responsibility for what she did.

She shoves the bottom drawer shut and stands up. “Jace didn’t excite me anymore. He knows I get bored easily, and he just gave up. He stopped trying.” She waves her skinny arm in the air. “What did he expect me to do? Stay with him and be bored?”

“Jace isn’t boring. And you can’t expect someone to entertain you every second of the day. That’s not realistic.”

She storms over to me and points her bony finger at my face. “So you are sleeping with him. Why’d you lie about it? You think I care? Jace and I are over.”

“I’m not sleeping with him. I’m defending him because I know what it feels like to be cheated on and blamed for it. It’s wrong. The cheaters are the ones who deserve the blame. If you were bored with Jace, you should’ve broken up with him, not cheated on him.”

“It was his job as my boyfriend to know when I’m unhappy. I stayed with him to give him time to figure it out, but he didn’t. That’s his fault, not mine. Now get out of here. And shut the door behind you.” She goes to Jace’s closet and starts searching through a box on the floor.

“Did he tell you it was okay to do this?” I ask.

She ignores me as she continues to sort through the box.

I go out to the hall and call Jace.

He picks up right away. “Hey, I’m sorry we can’t do dinner tonight. I was really looking forward to it but then—”

“Nikki’s here.”

“What?” I hear a chair scrape, like he stood up. “Nikki’s there? At the house?”

“Yeah. In your room.”

“Why’d you let her in?” he asks, sounding angry.

“I didn’t. She let herself in. She had a key. Why does she still have a key?”

“Because she never gave it back. And then I forgot she still had it. Tell her to leave it there before she goes.”

“I really don’t want to get involved in this. I’m only calling you because she’s tearing your room apart right now, saying she wants her things back.”

“There’s nothing there. Whatever she left has been tossed.”

“Okay, I’ll tell her. Then maybe she’ll leave.”

“I’ll tell her. I’ll call her right now. You’re right. You shouldn’t be in the middle of this. I’ll deal with it. I’ll talk to you later.”

He ends the call and I hear Nikki’s phone ringing from his room. Then I hear her yell, “Where’s my stuff, asshole?” followed by, “You threw it out? You know how much those panties cost? You’re paying for those!”

Moments later, she storms out of his room. I follow her to the living room and watch as she leaves, slamming the door behind her. She took the key with her, unless she left it in Jace’s room. I go in there and check. It’s not there, but she left his room a mess, with clothes everywhere.

I’m so mad. It’s not even my room and I’m furious.

Jace is a good person. A good friend. And seeing his ex barge in here and rip his room apart, after ripping his heart out, makes me want to strangle her. She hurt Jace and didn’t even care. She blames him for what happened. And then she shows up here without even telling him.

He never should’ve dated her. He deserves so much better.