Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

Kenzie

Andrea takes me along the concrete path that has the pool on one side and chairs on the other. Girls of all shapes and sizes, most wearing bikinis, have claimed their spots on the lounge chairs. As we walk past them, I feel like they’re staring at me.

I’m trying to appear confident, but I’m feeling really uncomfortable. This bikini is so skimpy I feel naked, but it’s the only suit I had. I bought it for the one and only trip Liam and I took together. We went to his friend’s wedding in Texas, then stayed a few extra days to make it a vacation. The hotel had a hot tub so I bought this bikini, knowing Liam would like how it shows off my body, but now I’m wishing it covered me up more.

“They’re staring,” Andrea says to me as we walk past the lazy river.

“Who’s staring?”

“Guys,” she whispers.

“Which ones?” I ask, noticing there’s guys all around us.

“All of them.” She stops suddenly and turns to face me. She keeps her voice low and says, “Orange and blue swim trunks. Aviator sunglasses. Dark hair. Really hot.” She bites her lip and smiles.

“There’s like a million guys here. You have to point him out.”

She slides her sunglasses down her nose just enough so I can see her eyes. They dart to the left and I look and see who she’s talking about. She’s right. He’s hot.

“Are you going to ask him out?” I whisper.

She sighs and pulls me back between two empty lounge chairs that have been claimed with beach towels.

“First rule. You don’t ask a guy out. You pretend not to be interested, which makes them even more interested. We just talked about this.”

“I know, but it all seems kind of crazy. Isn’t it better to be more direct?”

“Honestly, when is the last time you dated?” she asks, sounding exasperated.

“I’ve um, never really dated anyone besides Liam. We started dating in high school. I went out with a guy in eighth grade, but I wouldn’t count that. It wasn’t even really a date. My mom took us to a movie and—”

“Okay, I get it.” She puts her hand on my shoulder. “You’re in need of some serious dating help. You need to date a lot of guys. You have to know what’s out there so you can figure out what you like.”

“I already know what I like.”

“You know what you liked with your ex. But given how it ended, it probably wasn’t the best relationship. Trust me, I’ve been there. When it happened to me, I thought my world had ended, but it’d really just begun. Like you, I hadn’t dated much before then so I didn’t realize there were so many different types of guys out there. Sweet ones. Sensitive ones. Ones who are all about romance. Ones who actually call when they say they will. And then, of course, you have your bad boys, jocks, assholes. I’ve pretty much dated them all. The point is, you need to get out there and sample as many as you can.”

“And by sample, you mean date.”

“Date. Kiss. Have sex with. Whatever you want to do. Just don’t let it get serious. Not yet. Don’t get into another relationship until you know for sure what you want. You’ll save yourself a lot of heartbreak if you follow that advice.”

“Are you saying you haven’t had your heart broken since freshman year?”

“Yes, and it’s because I’ve stayed out of committed relationships.”

“What about Troy?”

“Okay, yeah, that was the one exception, but we only dated for a few months.”

“But you were in a committed relationship. So why’d you break your rule with Troy?”

“We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you.” She glances back at the pool. “Shit, that guy took off. Do you see him?”

I look around. “Over there. By the waterslide.”

She spots him. “With a girl. You took too long.”

“Too long? We’ve been standing here less than five minutes.”

“Things move fast. You see a guy you like, you have to make a move.”

“But you said I can’t pretend I like him. So what am I supposed to do?”

“You walk past him or stand in front of him. You get his attention and then keep it by doing things like adjusting your swimsuit or messing with your hair. Movement is key. Guys have no attention span. They’re like toddlers. They’re easily distracted by things that move.”

I laugh. “That’s not very nice.”

“It’s the truth. Try it and see. Or just look around.” She turns back. “See that girl walking by?” She pauses, and we watch a blonde in a red bikini slowly make her way around the wave pool. “Watch the guys. See how they immediately look up when she passes them? And now she’s stopping to fix her ponytail. See how the guys are still looking at her? It’s because she has movement. She isn’t just standing there, doing nothing.” Andrea turns back to me. “Are you getting all this? I know it’s a lot.”

“I think I’ve got it. So what now? We just keep walking around?”

“Yes, but it’s not going to take long before guys start coming up to you so you need to be prepared with a plan. I’d suggest turning down the first guy who approaches you. You don’t want to seem desperate. In fact, you should turn down the first two or three, or all of them if you want.”

“If I want a date, I can’t turn them all down.”

“You can if you don’t feel any chemistry with them. You don’t want to date just to date. I know I told you to sample all kinds of guys, but you still want to at least feel something for the guy. An attraction. An interest. Something.”

I already feel attraction for a guy. And interest. The problem is, the guy is my roommate. He’s off limits.

Jace and I had so much fun last night. The laser tag. The late night infomercials. It was more fun than I’ve had in a long time. And then we fell asleep on the couch. I laid in his arms and it felt right, like it used to feel when I was with Liam. But I was wrong about Liam so maybe I’m wrong about Jace too. Maybe whatever I’m feeling for him is just what I want to feel rather than what’s real. After what happened with Liam, I’m not sure I can trust my feelings anymore.

“C’mon.” Andrea pulls on me to start walking again. “We’re wasting precious time. Girls are snatching up all the guys.”

“Hey, gorgeous,” a guy says, coming up behind Andrea. He wraps his muscular arms around her waist and leans down to kiss her cheek.

“Hey, babe,” she says, looking up at him. “How was the water?”

“Not bad. You should get in.”

“And get my suit wet? No way.”

He laughs. “You’re such a girl.”

She turns and playfully smacks his bare chest. “And you’re a stupid boy.”

“And yet you still love me.” He smirks.

“You wish.” She pushes him away and turns to me. “This is Troy.”

That’s Troy? I thought it was some guy she wants to date, not her ex. The two of them act like they’re a couple. I’ve never seen exes flirt with each other like that.

“Hi, Troy.” I shake his hand. “I’m Kenzie.”

His eyes move over me and I feel the need to cover up. I knew I’d get guys’ attention with this bikini, but I’m not used to it and it’s making me uncomfortable.

“Kenzie,” he says, his eyes back on my face. “Wait, are you Jace’s new roommate?”

“Yeah. I moved in yesterday. Jace told me about this pool party and said everyone would be here so I tagged along. I thought it’d be good to get out and meet people. Try to make some friends. Like Andrea.” I smile at her.

Andrea comes over and puts her arm around me. “Isn’t she great? I just met her and we’re already friends. Anyway, you need to move along.” She waves Troy away. “We’re on a mission to find this girl a date.”

“What about you?” Troy asks. “You still hung up on Tad?”

She takes her hand off my shoulder and crosses her arms over her chest. “How’d you know about Tad?”

“You and I have the same friends, and apparently you can’t stop talking about the guy. I heard he’s an ass, by the way.”

“Guess I’ll find out.” She locks eyes with Troy. “How about you? Got a girl lined up for tonight?”

“Not yet, but I’m working on it.”

“I’m sure you are.” She grabs my arm. “Let’s go.”

She pulls me past him and walks quickly down the path around the pool.

“Why are we walking so fast? Guys aren’t going to notice me if I fly by them before they even get a look.”

“You’re right. Sorry.” She slows down and lets go of my arm.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Why?” She checks behind her, then faces forward, nervously chewing on her lip.

I look back and see Troy talking to a girl. She has her hand on his arm and is smiling at him.

“Are you sure you’re over Troy?”

“Troy?” She laughs. “Are you kidding? I’ve been over him for months. He’s a pain in the ass. It never would’ve worked between us.”

“You seem to get along okay.”

“Because we’re friends. We didn’t work as a couple.”

“Are you still attracted to him?”

“No. I mean, maybe a little but only because he’s hot. Any girl would be attracted to him. Weren’t you?”

“Um, I guess.”

“You don’t think he’s hot?” She’s walking fast again and I rush to catch up.

“He’s definitely hot, but I don’t want to date him.”

She stops and turns to me. “Why not? What’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing. He seems great. He’s just a little too tall for me. He’s gotta be like what… six-eight?”

“Six-seven,” she says.

She seems really upset that I don’t want to go out with Troy, and yet I get the feeling if I actually did go out with him, she’d be mad. I think she still likes him. But if that’s true, then why won’t she date him?

Troy’s a hot guy, but not my type. It isn’t just his height but also the tattoos that line both his arms and part of his back. I don’t mind a few tats, but Troy has too many for me. And he has this patch of hair on his chin that I’ve seen on other guys, so it’s obviously a thing, but I don’t find it attractive.

“You don’t like tall guys?” she asks.

“I do, but six-seven is really tall.”

She turns to me. “But you like Jace. He’s six-five.”

“I don’t like Jace,” I say in a defensive tone.

“Really?” She smiles. “So the heat I felt when you two were next to each other was just the sun beating down?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I turn and continue walking, going as fast as Andrea was after she stormed away from Troy.

“He likes you,” she says, catching up to me. “He couldn’t take his eyes off you, even with all these other girls around. And when he saw you in this bikini?” She laughs. “His eyes practically fell out of his head. I’ve never seen him look at a girl like that. Even Nikki, but they dated forever so he was used to seeing her body. But still, I think he likes yours better.”

“I think you’re reading him wrong. It’s not like that with us. We’re just roommates.”

“Which is why you don’t want to date him. I get it. If it didn’t work out you’d have nowhere to live. It’s nearly impossible to find housing around here during the school year. That’s why I’m stuck in the dorms. I hate living there, but it’s the only option.”

“How about him ?” I say, directing my eyes to the first guy I see so she’ll stop talking about Jace.

“The guy in the thong?” She crinkles her nose. “You’d seriously go out with him?”

Oh. He is wearing a thong. I didn’t even notice that until she said it. Other than that, he’s okay. Dark hair, dark tan, and a decent body.

As I’m staring at him, a guy walks up to him and kisses him.

Andrea laughs. “Your dream man appears to be taken.” She wraps her arm around mine and pulls on me to keep walking. “Poor thing. First guy you’re interested in and he’s gay.”

I sigh. “Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Hey, it was one guy. So he turned out to be gay. Big deal. It’s your first time back in the dating world. You’re out of practice. You probably haven’t even looked at other guys in years. Just remember, you don’t want to make the first move.” She stands up straighter and pushes her chest out. “Walk with confidence, smile, and let the guys come to you.”

I do as she says, but I still feel awkward. I don’t even know if guys are noticing me. It’s really crowded and we have to maneuver around people as we walk. I get why Jace called it a party. It’s like one giant college party but without the alcohol, although I’m pretty sure people snuck some in. I can smell it on them as they walk past me.

Andrea stops abruptly and grabs my arm. “There’s Tad!”

“Where?” I glance around us.

“Don’t look!” She turns me toward her. “Pretend we’re talking.”

“We are talking.”

“He’s coming over.” Her eyes dart to the left. I follow them to a guy who’s tall and thin, wearing pale green swim trunks and a white polo shirt. His hair is wavy and slicked in place with some kind of product. He’s decent looking but not hot like Troy. This guy looks like he grew up in a mansion, attended a fancy prep school, and sailed on the weekends.

“Andrea,” he says, interrupting the fake conversation we were having. Andrea was smiling and laughing, another one of her tricks for getting a guy’s attention.

She turns to him. “Do I know you?”

She’s pretending not to know him? That’s an interesting move.

“We had biology together last year.”

“That’s right. Now I remember. You’re Ted. Or was it Tad?”

“Tad. Tad Langley.”

“Tad, this is my friend, Kenzie.”

“Hi.” I smile at him.

He glances at me, then back at Andrea. “You want to go somewhere?”

“Right now?”

“We could grab some lunch, then go do something. I’ll need to stop at my apartment first and change. You might as well come with me.”

He wants her to go to his apartment? Now? I may not be an expert when it comes to guys, but I’m pretty sure he’s trying to figure out the fastest way to sleep with her.

“Sorry, but I’m here with friends,” Andrea says. “I can’t leave.”

“Maybe tonight.” He gets his phone out. “What’s your number?”

She gives it to him and he puts it in his phone, then walks off without even telling her goodbye.

When he’s out of hearing range, Andrea turns to me. “Okay, so he doesn’t have the greatest personality but he’s probably just nervous. I won’t know for sure until we’ve gone out a few times.”

“I know I just met you, but he doesn’t really seem like your type.”

“Right now, every guy’s my type. I’m trying them all so I can figure out what I want. Maybe Tad’s the guy for me or maybe he’s not, but I at least want to give him a chance.”

I’m not going to argue with her. She clearly likes the guy, but I can’t figure out why. He seemed rude, arrogant, and self-centered. He didn’t even say hi to me.

“Now we have to find someone for you,” she says. “I’ll be right back.”

Before I can ask where she’s going, she darts off into the crowd.

Someone touches my arm. “Hey.”

I turn and see a guy standing there. He’s average height with sandy brown hair, wearing board shorts and a t-shirt.

“Oh, am I in your way?” I step back.

“No. I just wanted to introduce myself.” He smiles at me. “I’m Mark.”

“I’m Kenzie. I’m new here. At the college. And the town. I’m a junior. I just graduated from community college.”

Why am I telling him all this? He doesn’t want my life story. I should’ve just told him my name. When I get nervous around a guy, I talk too much. I’m surprised I didn’t do that with Jace. Given my attraction to him, I should’ve been nervous around him, but I wasn’t.

“I’m a senior,” Mark says. “I think you’ll like it here. The professors are good and there’s lots of clubs and activities, if you like that type of stuff.”

“Are you in any activities?”

“Yeah. I’m actually student body president.”

“Wow.” I smile. “I’m talking to the president.”

“It’s not a big deal. A buddy of mine talked me into running for office last year. I never thought I’d win. I didn’t even know what the president’s supposed to do.”

“So what’s the answer? What do you do?”

“Go to some meetings. Weigh in on some decisions. That’s about it. I’m actually glad I did it now. Having it on my resume might actually help me get a job. So tell me about yourself. What’s your major?”

“Psychology. I want to be a school counselor.”

“Mine is business. I’ll probably work in marketing, or maybe finance. I haven’t decided yet.”

Some girls bump into me, then a guy bumps into Mark. It’s so crowded, people can’t help but bump into each other.

“You want to move back a little?” Mark asks. “Out of the crowd?”

“I’m actually waiting for a friend to come back. She said she’d just be a minute.”

I stand up on my toes, searching for her.

“I’m here.” Andrea appears behind me. She smiles at Mark. “I see you met a friend.”

“Mark.” He shakes her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“You look familiar,” she says. “Were you in one of my classes?”

“I don’t think so.”

“He’s student body president,” I say. “Maybe that’s how you know him.”

“Maybe, although I don’t pay attention to that stuff. No offense.”

He smiles. “None taken.”

“I hope you don’t mind, but I have to steal Kenzie away. Did you give her your number?”

“Um, no.” He seems flustered by Andrea’s sudden arrival and her insistence that I leave with her. I’m not quite ready to leave. I kind of like this guy.

“Here.” He shows me his phone, which has his number on the screen.

I put it in my phone. “Thanks.”

“Can I have yours?” he asks.

“A girl doesn’t give out her number to a guy she just met,” Andrea says. “Safety reasons. You understand.”

“Yeah, okay.” He gives me a wave. “Call if you’d like to go out sometime.”

“I will.”

He walks off.

“Why’d you do that?” I ask Andrea.

“What? You really want to go out with that guy?”

“I don’t know. You didn’t give me enough time to decide.”

“You should know right away if you want to go out with a guy. There should be an instant attraction. A spark. If you have to wait for that to happen, then he’s not the guy for you.”

“It’s not always about attraction. Sometimes you have to get to know the person before you feel an attraction. I think I’m going to call him. He seemed like a nice guy.”

“If by nice you mean boring. And you’re not calling him. What’s the rule?”

“Let the guy make the first move, but then why didn’t I give him my number?”

“Because you don’t want him calling you. You only took his number to be polite.”

“Okay, don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t think your dating advice is right for me. Maybe it works for you, but I don’t like playing games with guys. I like to be direct and honest.”

“But guys don’t. They tell you what you want to hear to get you to go out with them and then you find out later that none of it was true.”

“That’s deceitful. I don’t want to date those guys.”

“It’s how dating works. Girls do it too. It’s not always a bad thing to stretch the truth. Sometimes it’s the only way to get to know someone. Like one time I told this guy I played golf because he was really into golf and I knew he’d never date me if I told him I didn’t play.”

“What happened when he found out the truth?“

“He never found out. We only went out one time. But if it had gone beyond that, he would’ve gotten to know me and decided it wasn’t that important that I didn’t like golf.”

“I don’t know. I think it would’ve been a problem.”

“Maybe so, but it doesn’t matter because I never planned to marry the guy. He was just someone to date. It was part of my ongoing process to find what I want in a guy. And now I know I don’t want to be with a guy who’s obsessed with golf. You know how long it takes to play golf? Like four hours, sometimes more. And they go every weekend. They don’t have time for a relationship.”

“What about Troy?”

“What about him?”

“How’d you get him to go out with you? What trick did you use?”

“None. Troy and I were friends first. He was in my chem class sophomore year and we ended up sitting next to each other. We started hanging out and became friends. I went to all his games and then hung out with him and the team afterwards. They’re all like brothers to me now.” She smiles. “I think you’ll really like living with Jace. He’s such a sweetheart. And he’s so romantic. Too bad he ended up with a bitch like Nikki. She never treated him right. Don’t tell him this, but we were all hoping they’d break up so he could find someone else. Someone who deserves a guy like him.”

“Would you ever date him?”

“Never. He’s hot, and has a killer body, but like I said, he’s like a brother to me.”

I wish I felt that way about Jace. If I did, I’d be able to stop thinking about him. Stop staring at him. Stop dreaming of him. I had a dream about him last night. We were together. In his bed. Doing things we should never do.

It was wrong to think of him that way, but I can’t help what I dream. The only thing I can control is how I act around him. And I need to keep acting like his friend, even though I want us to be more than that.