24. Meiko

"Why isn't he back yet?" I whisper through the lump of fear crawling its way up my throat.

My initial pride in Mustaf's bravery, offering himself to join the search party, has been washed away by a gnawing concern.

I stop my pacing to pull the curtains back from the windows, peering outside. Slowly, light is breaching the dark sky, dawn returning to signify the start of another morning. But Mustaf still hasn't come back.

My hand automatically drops to caress my little baby bump, trying to reassure the both of us that Mustaf is okay. The clock's relentless ticking is just another cruel reminder of each passing second that he isn't back.

"He'll be back any minute, little one," I say despite the tremble in my voice.

He has to be.

After what certainly feels like an eternity, the front door bursts open and the search party stumbles in. Letting out a sigh of relief, I hurry into the entryway to greet him, wanting to make sure he came home in one piece.

Any drop of relief is short-lived as my heart plummets into my stomach with the realization that the search party is missing one crucial member. Mustaf is nowhere to be seen.

"Where is he?" I demand, my voice shaking with a mixture of fear and anger. "Where"s Mustaf?"

The members of the search party exchange uneasy glances before Dragan finally speaks up. "There was another avalanche," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "We were searching for the child when it happened. Mustaf… he was closest to the child. He saved the kid, but… fell in the process."

My legs feel weak and I grip the door frame for support. "No," I say, shaking my head in denial. "No, he can"t be… He"s too strong. He"ll find a way out."

But the look on the search party"s faces tells me they don"t share my optimism. They"re afraid, too. And as the reality of the situation sinks in, I feel a cold, numbing fear wash over me.

"We have to keep searching," I say, my voice barely above a whisper. "We can"t give up on him."

But even as I say the words, I can"t shake the feeling that it might already be too late. And the thought of Mustaf out there, alone and trapped beneath the snow, is almost too much to bear.

I can feel the strength leave my body as the news of Mustaf"s disappearance hits me like a ton of bricks. My knees buckle and I collapse, but thankfully my friends are there to catch me before I hit the ground.

As they help me to a chair, I can"t help but feel consumed by regret. All the times I could have told Mustaf how much I loved him but didn"t. All the unsaid declarations of love that now feel like missed opportunities.

I can"t bear the thought of never seeing him again, never getting to tell him how much he means to me. The tears that have been threatening to spill over finally break free and I sob uncontrollably.

My friends try to comfort me, but their words are lost in the cacophony of my thoughts. All I can think about is Mustaf and the fear that he may never come back to me.

I'd give anything to have him here, safe and alive. Regret floods my body like it's burst from a dam.

"Meiko, please," Dragan urges, placing a hand on my shoulder. "You"re going to upset the baby."

I look up at him, tears still streaming down my face. I had forgotten about the baby in my distress, and the reminder only makes me feel worse. I can"t believe I"m putting my own child through this.

Sandra comes forward and gently encourages me to lie down. "You need to rest," she says. "You and the baby. Let's get you to bed."

I nod, too exhausted to argue. I let Sandra lead me to the bedroom and help me lay down. But even as I close my eyes, sleep eludes me. My mind is racing with thoughts of Mustaf lost in the cold, the possibility of never seeing him again a vice around my heart.

I toss and turn, unable to find a comfortable position. Every creak and groan of the house makes me jump, my heart racing with hope that it might be Mustaf returning.

But as the day wears on and there"s still no sign of him, I can"t help but feel a growing sense of despair. I don"t know how much more of this I can take.

When I walk into the kitchen that afternoon, I"m surprised to find my parents and Mustaf"s parents standing with the others. They must have come as soon as they heard the news.

Elora looks at me first, and the sight of her face is too much for me to bear. I start sobbing uncontrollably, all the fear and worry that I"ve been holding in finally spilling over.

Elora rushes forward and envelops me in a warm embrace. "It"s going to be okay, Meiko," she says, her voice soothing. "We"re all here for you. We"re going to find Mustaf."

I cling to her, my body shaking with sobs. I can"t believe this is happening. I can"t believe Mustaf is missing and I don"t know if I"ll ever see him again.

Seger joins us, his own eyes red with unshed tears. He places a hand on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. "We"ll do everything we can to find him," he says, his voice thick with emotion.

My parents come forward and wrap their arms around me, too. I feel surrounded by love and support, and it gives me the strength to pull myself together.

I take a deep breath and step back, wiping away my tears. "Thank you," I say, my voice shaking. "I don"t know what I would do without all of you."

Elora gives me a small smile. "We"re family, Meiko. We"re going to get through this together."

My mother untangles strands of my hair. "Sweetheart, why don't you eat something?"

I shake my head, queasy at the thought of food. "I'm not hungry."

"You need to keep up your strength for the little one," she says, her voice filled with concern. "You can"t afford to get sick right now."

I know she"s right, but I can't make myself go along. My stomach is in knots and I can"t imagine being able to eat anything.

Elora nods in agreement, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Your mother is right. You need to take care of yourself and the baby. Let us take care of you."

I hesitate for a moment, but then nod reluctantly. I know they"re only trying to help, and I don"t want to be a burden.

My mother and Elora jump right up to cook something for me, while my father walks me to the sofa. I sit down, feeling drained and exhausted. The past few hours have been a whirlwind of emotions, and I can barely think straight.

My father sits down next to me and takes my hand. "We"re going to find him," he says, his voice filled with determination. "We"ll do whatever it takes."

I nod, tears pricking at my eyes. I want to believe him, but I can"t shake the fear that something terrible has happened to Mustaf.

My mother and Elora bring me a plate of food, but I can barely stomach the thought of eating. I force myself to take a few bites, knowing that I need to keep up my strength for the baby.

As I eat, my mind races with thoughts of Mustaf. I can"t help but think of all the times we"ve spent together, all the happy memories we"ve shared. I can"t believe that he might be gone forever.

I take a deep breath, trying to push those thoughts aside. I need to focus on the present and do whatever I can to help find Mustaf.

I finish my food and stand up, determined. "I"m going to go out and help with the search," I say, my voice steady.

"Absolutely not," Elora snaps, crossing her arms. "You"re in no condition to go out there, Meiko. You need to stay here and rest."

"No!" I reply stubbornly. "I can"t just sit here and do nothing. I have to help find Mustaf."

Seger tries to guide me back into the seat, chuckling when I refuse. "Just as stubborn as your fiance," he says with a shake of his head.

But I"m not in the mood for jokes. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes again. "I love him," I say, my voice breaking. "I need him. I can"t lose him."

My parents and Mustaf"s parents exchange a worried glance. I can see the concern etched on their faces, but I don"t care. I"m not backing down.

"Please let me go," I beg, my voice trembling.

"Meiko, no," my mother says, her voice firm. "You can"t go out there. It"s too dangerous for you and the baby."

I sit back down on the couch, feeling numb. I can"t believe this is happening. I can"t believe that Mustaf is missing and I'm helpless to do anything about it.