13. Meiko

The days blend together in a haze of work and caregiving. Between my demanding job and helping Grandma through her recovery, I"ve had little time or energy left for myself. It"s been so easy to ignore the subtle signs my body has been sending. But now, alone in the stillness of my apartment, I can no longer avoid the truth staring back at me.

I sit motionless, hands cradling my abdomen as the realization sinks in. My cycle is late. Very late. Ominous silence fills the room, broken only by the ticking of the clock on the wall. I think back, mentally counting the weeks since my last period. How did I not notice before now?

I rise and stand before the mirror, taking in my reflection. My breasts seem fuller and tender to the touch. The evidence is undeniable, but my mind rebels against the conclusion. This can"t be happening… Can it?

I"m propelled into motion, grabbing my coat and heading for the hospital clinic before I can overthink this.

The hospital clinic is quiet this early on a Tuesday. I check in under a pseudonym, not yet ready to have this on my medical records. The waiting threatens to swallow me whole. I pick up a dog-eared magazine, forcing myself to read the same paragraph five times before giving up.

When the nurse calls my name, I nearly jump out of my chair. She leads me to an exam room that manages to be both sterile and lifeless. Perching on the edge of the exam table, I fight the urge to run.

At long last, the doctor arrives, clipboard in hand. He has a kind smile on his face, but it does little to set me at ease. We exchange pleasantries, but I can hardly focus on his words over the pounding of blood in my ears.

The exam is over quickly, just a blood draw and a few routine questions. He promises the test results within a day or two. I nod numbly, my throat too tight to respond. And then I"m standing outside the clinic, unsure of how I got there while the weight of what comes next threatens to crush me.

The next forty-eight hours pass in a haze of distraction and denial. I throw myself into work, volunteering for extra projects and welcoming the long hours as an escape. I'm just getting into my car to leave work when my cell phone rings. The message starts with just two simple words that confirm my deepest fears.

Positive. Pregnant.

I sink slowly into the driver"s seat as the doctor talks through the next steps. His voice sounds far away, drowned out by the rushing in my ears. Pregnant. Based on the blood work, he thinks I'm about nine weeks along.

There"s a new life taking shape inside me. Part of Mustaf, flowering within my body.

I press a hand to my still-flat stomach, partly in wonder, partly in fear. What happens now? I never planned for this, never dared imagine myself as a mother. Especially not to an orc child with a man I met in a bar on vacation. God, to him I was just a fling! How do I tell him now that he's bound to me for the rest of our lives thanks to a baby?

My mind replays fleeting memories of our time together – the warmth of his smile, the strength of his embrace, the rumble of his laughter. He awakened something in me I didn"t know was there. And now, he"s given me the most precious and terrifying gift imaginable.

As I step inside my apartment, the blinking light on my answering machine pulls me from my thoughts. Still in a fog, I hit play.

"Meiko, it"s Lalaine! Oh, my gosh, I have the most exciting news. We set the date. It's two months from now, can you believe it?"

She giggles excitedly.

"Everything happened so fast, it"s like a dream come true. Dragan is just so amazing, I know we"re meant to be together forever. I know it doesn't give us much time to plan, but I don't want to waste a minute that I could be married to him, you know?"

Squeals of happiness.

"Anyway, I know it might be a lot to ask, but I was hoping you could be one of my bridesmaids! We have so much planning to do. I"ll be over tomorrow afternoon so we can look at dresses and bouquets and cakes and everything else!"

Lalaine pauses and takes an audible excited breath.

"Okay, I"d better go. Lots more calls to make! But I"m so thrilled you"ll be by my side for the big day. This is going to be the most magical wedding ever!"

She makes kissing sounds into the phone.

"Love you, can"t wait to celebrate! Toodles!"

I sink onto the couch, emotions churning violently inside me. I tried my best to be happy for Lalaine when she first announced her engagement, but her news cuts deeper today. Lalaine is taking the very step I now must consider. And not just marriage, but a lifetime commitment to an orc. She sounds over the moon, while I"m weighted with uncertainty.

My hand rests on my belly again, feeling the new life within. Lalaine is marrying her orc by choice. I"m having a child with mine by chance. Where she"s found joy, I"m lost in doubt and worry over the road ahead.

I rise and begin to pace, too keyed up to sit still. How could this have happened so fast? Sure, she was smitten after meeting Dragan, but getting married so soon? My analytical mind struggles to compute.

They"ve only known each other for, what, a couple of months? I sink onto the couch, elbows on my knees, head in my hands. It makes no logical sense. A Vegas wedding to a near stranger after a whirlwind summer romance? This impulsive leap into the unknown is so unlike the measured, practical Lalaine I thought I knew.

Maybe an orc"s idea of commitment moves faster than humans. Or perhaps love has rendered reason irrelevant for them. Either way, the dichotomy between us has never felt sharper. I knew my ex for years, and our wedding was still an unmitigated disaster.

There's only one thing I know for sure. Whatever uncertainties the future holds, I have to take it one step at a time.

I'm just not sure if I'm better off taking it alone.