4. Oliver

Chapter 4

Oliver

I was not going to have a panic attack because Lexie Tripp walked back into my life in a dirty wedding dress. I was fine. Absolutely fine.

I just couldn't seem to breathe very well, and I was inwardly freaking out.

What had I been thinking, sitting next to her, and ordering her a beer? What the hell had happened to her, and how did she end up here? I hadn't pushed, telling myself it was none of my business, but I was curious.

Who was this guy she had been about to marry? Was he good looking? Was he taller than me? Better than me in bed? I had a million questions swirling around my head, but I didn't want to know the answers to any of them.

What if she planned to go back to him? God, this was such a bad idea. Not to mention that I'd told her no hard feelings and that was a lie. What happened between us had broken me, but I wasn't about to show her that. I wanted her to think I cared as little as she did.

I huffed out a breath and she tilted her head, looking at me curiously. I checked my phone to appear disengaged .

"You have a hot date?" she asked, and I noted there was no edge to her voice. She was over it. Over me. And I was over her.

No big deal.

I smiled. "No, nothing like that. Just wondering if I can start drinking liquor."

She laughed. "It's after five o'clock."

"Exactly."

I ordered a tequila and pineapple from the bartender, and she ordered the same.

"Still your favorite drink?" she asked, smiling up at me. God, she was beautiful. She'd always been the most beautiful woman in the world to me, and it seemed like nothing had changed.

But I was different. I was over her. I could do this, talk to her like an old friend who I had absolutely no lingering feelings for.

"Always."

She shrugged. "It's a good go-to."

"You have a new favorite?"

She grinned. "Dirty martini. Correction—filthy martini, actually."

I raised an eyebrow. "What's a filthy martini?"

"Vodka and olive juice, shaken and chilled."

I shuddered. "That sounds awful."

"It's delicious," she argued. "In fact, I'm thinking about asking Brenda for some olives." Her stomach rumbled in the most obvious way.

When the waitress came back, I ordered wings, extra hot, just like she used to love.

"Oh, thank God," she muttered. "I'm starving."

I chuckled. "I never minded feeding you."

She smirked. "I've gained thirty pounds, so I guess I don't mind feeding myself."

I couldn't help but look her over. "It looks good on you," I said and I meant it. I wasn't just flattering her, either. She really did look good, her hips wider, her breasts bigger. Her waist was still trim, with a belly that I bet would feel so soft under my hands. As she looked up at me with her bright green eyes, I noticed she hadn't aged at all.

I, however, had crow's feet around the corners of my eyes. I wondered if she noticed.

Lexie blushed.

"I cannot wait for these wings."

She seemed excited, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"You're really psyched to be back at the Pig. Don't think I've ever seen someone so excited to be here."

"It's been too long," she said. "Does that one guy still bartend?"

"Jorge? No, he went to college, settled out in California."

"Aw, he was my favorite," she whined. "But, good for him."

This place held a lot of fond memories for me and Lexie, and I wondered if she remembered them as well as I did.

Part of me hoped she did.

A big part of me.

I didn't know where this night would end, but I felt like I'd follow her to hell if she asked me to.

I was clearly not over Lexie Tripp.

Two hours later, we'd each had a few more beers and shared some wings and fries. Lexie seemed to be having a great time. I was having a great time, too, better than I'd had in years.

We were able to talk about the past without bitterness, and I was grateful for that.

"I'm glad there are no hard feelings," Lexie said, and I nodded. It made my head spin a little. Maybe that last beer had been one too many.

"Of course not," I said easily. "Why would there be?"

Because you broke my heart.

But I'd grown since then. I'd matured. I could handle my high school sweetheart, my first and only heartbreak. Couldn't I?

Besides, didn't everyone get a little nervous when they saw their first love? Maybe it was one of those things you couldn't help.

"You still make me a little weak in the knees," I admitted, and Lexie looked at me, her bright eyes just a tad glassy.

"Really?"

I nodded, feeling like my face was going to catch fire.

"You too," she replied in a quiet voice.

"You sure you don't want to talk about what happened?"

She shrugged. "There really isn't much to tell. I didn't love him, and he started to get a little... controlling."

I hummed in the back of my throat, feeling anger rising in me. "Is he dangerous?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so."

I swallowed hard. I didn't like the idea of some ex of hers following her around. "Does he know where you are?"

"No, not at all. I ran directly to the airport. He knows I'm from Texas, but there's no way he'd be able to figure out it's Wagontown."

My shoulders relaxed slightly. She was right, Wagontown wasn't even on some maps.

"What about you?" she asked. "Did you settle down with a wife? Have a couple of kids?"

I could tell that she was a little drunk by the glassiness of her green eyes. My vision was doubling a little after three tequila and pineapples.

I probably shouldn't have had so much to drink. It made me want things I shouldn't. Like wanting to grab Lex's hand, take her to the bathroom, and bend her over the sink.

I cleared my throat, trying to push away the thought.

"No wife. No kids."

I wasn't ready to tell her about Trent yet.

"Live-in girlfriend?"

I snorted out a laugh. "No. Just me."

"I can't believe a guy who looks like you hasn't met anyone special."

"Haven't been looking," I said honestly. Lex was my somebody special... and look how that turned out.

"Marriage is for the birds, anyway," she mumbled, and I smiled at her.

"I'm glad you're not upset about it."

She looked up at me warily, like she thought I was going to ask more questions, but in the end, I didn't. Of course I wanted to know, but it seemed like knowing might shatter the little bubble we were in.

It was like I was young again, young and in love, and it felt good, even if I hated to admit it to myself. Lexie absolutely inhaled the wings, getting sauce all over her fingers. Part of me wanted to lick it off. I was just staring at her, smiling like an idiot, when I heard her shout, looking over my head.

"Butch!" she cried out, and I looked over my shoulder to see Butch Wiggins, one of my high school friends, at the door of the Pig.

He was dressed in a Pig in the Poke t-shirt, and it took me a moment to realize that he was working as a bouncer.

Lexie ran over to him, hugging him tightly, and jealousy rose in me. I walked right over, putting a hand on her lower back.

"Lexie and Oliver, as I live and breathe," Butch said dramatically. "Never thought I'd see you two again. Are you married now?"

Lexie shook her head fast enough that I thought her neck might get a cramp. "Just catching up," she said, and for a moment, I pictured our entire future, the future that she'd thrown away.

What if we had married? What if we'd settled down in our hometown, had the same friends, gone out with Butch and his girlfriend on weekends?

It could have been so wonderful.

Butch did a shot with us, and Lexie wrinkled her nose.

"It's been an incredibly long day, and I'm a little tipsy," she admitted. "I think I need to get to the hotel."

"Of course," I said quickly, exchanging numbers with Butch to keep in touch. My head was spinning a bit, too, so instead of driving, I put my keys in my pocket. "Let's walk."

Lexie nodded, leaning against me, and before I knew it, we were holding hands on our way to the hotel, staying that way during check in and in the elevator to her floor.

The woman behind the counter gave us a few sidelong glances that made me think she wanted to say something. I didn't want to break the spell of the moment, so I just shook my head slightly at her while Lexie was looking away. She widened her eyes and nodded, then mimed locking her lips and throwing away the key .

We got our room keys, and climbed into the elevator. Lexie leaned against me, her hair wafting fruity styling product smells at me. She even smelled the same.

We stumbled through the door at the same time, giggling as we played bumper cars in the small space. I reached out and steadied her so she didn't tumble onto her face, and the zing of awareness that shot up my arm was almost painful.

"We can hit up the mini bar if you're feeling snackish," I said to her to cover the lust coiling through me, and she smiled.

"You don't have to pay for everything, Oliver. I'll figure things out."

"Too late. I've already paid for tonight and tomorrow."

She frowned. "You?—"

"Didn't have to do that. I know. I wanted to."

She looked up at me from under her eyelashes. "Is there anything else you might want to do?"

I stepped closer to her. "I don't know…I could think of a thing or two."

She smiled at me. I hated the sad look in her eyes. I wanted to make it go away. "I didn't get my wedding night," she said a bit grimly.

"I feel like we should talk about that," I said, stepping back a little.

She shook her head hard. "I can't talk about it. Not right now. What do you want to do?"

"You know damn well what I want to do."

I knew I shouldn't be doing this. My brain was yelling at me to push her away, to leave, but my heart... my heart wanted her. And my body. I'd always wanted her. I'd never stopped wanting her, and that was the truth I could never admit to myself .

"What if I want it, too?" she asked in a small voice, stepping closer, wrapping her thin arms around my neck, her ample breasts pressing against my chest.

"Lexie," I whispered, but it was too late, my mouth was pressing against hers. Her tongue slid between my lips, and I couldn't help but groan into her mouth.

I pushed her backward until the back of her knees hit the bed and she plopped down on it, giggling. It made my heart swoop with joy to hear her happiness.

I took off her bodice, ripping one side, eager to see her breasts bounce free, and unhooked her bra with one hand.

"You can still do that?" she gasped.

"Lots of practice," I mumbled, and she frowned and kissed me again, hungrier, more possessive. God, it was like we were teenagers again, except her body was fuller, her kisses more confident.

This was what it would have been like if it hadn't all gone to hell. Pleasure ran up and down my spine and I grew fully hard in my jeans, my cock rubbing against the material uncomfortably.

I took off her bra and threw it on the floor, watching her breasts fall into my hands. I rubbed my thumbs across her nipples, and she let out a long moan, arching her back and pressing herself closer to me.

"Jesus," I whispered. "I forgot how stacked you are."

"I haven't forgotten how big you are," she teased, and she put her hand on my waistband, unbuttoning my jeans and pulling me out of my underwear.

Her small hand wrapped around my base, and I thrust into it, groaning against her neck, kissing her there until she moaned.

"Oliver, please," she pleaded. I was never capable of saying no to her and this time wasn't any different.

I took off her skirt and panties and slid my fingers between her legs, pressing my face against her neck as I pushed a finger into her. I started with one, and then quickly added another, and she rocked her hips against my hand eagerly.

Everything was so familiar, and yet so different. It was intoxicating and also confusing. Like having a blind date with your best friend.

Cursing as my cock ached, I pulled her breasts out and popped them into my mouth, sucking slowly as I looked down at her.

Her green eyes went dark with desire as she spread her thighs, lying back on the bed and showing me herself. She had a trimmed landing strip but was otherwise bare and glistening.

As I watched, she dipped her fingers into her wetness, opening herself for me, biting her lower lip.

"Look at you," I mumbled. "My girl."

So many memories swirled in my mind. I felt a swoop of déjà vu as I looked at her most intimate self. Would she still feel the same way wrapped around my cock? Would she still make the same sweet noises as I fucked her?

I kicked off my jeans and underwear and covered her with my body. I took a beat to look into her eyes, trying to figure out if she really wanted this or was just feeling rejected and using me.

"What?" she asked me, worry furrowing her brow.

"Nothing," I said, pressing into her slowly. "It's just been a long time, and yet, it feels like yesterday."

She bit her lip as I parted her gently. She gasped as I rocked my hips slowly. She closed her eyes and whispered my name as I sheathed myself fully within her.

It was like coming home. It was like Christmas, and birthdays, and climbing back into your own bed after a long vacation. She felt like all those things and more as I tried to hold still, resisting the urge to start pounding into her seeking my release.

"Oliver," she gasped, wiggling beneath me in invitation. "Oh my God you feel good. I forgot you were this good."

It was all I could do not to come immediately. I couldn't stop looking at her face, into her eyes. The green in them seemed more pronounced, somehow, and they were bright and shining.

She felt like heaven, and I couldn't help thrusting in and out of her before she was used to me. I tried to slow myself down to help her to get comfortable, panting a little with the effort to hold back.

She wrapped her legs around me, pressing closer. "Don't stop," she pleaded, her voice catching a little on the words.

"Fuck," I muttered. I surrendered to what my body wanted and started thrusting again. "Fuck you feel good," I groaned.

She moaned loudly, rocking her hips up with every thrust. I gritted my teeth, trying to make it last, but I wasn't sure I could.

As I kept up a slow and steady pace, she gasped and writhed beneath me.

"Ollie, I'm going to come," she moaned, and I cursed again, pumping into her faster as my own orgasm built in my lower abdomen.

When Lexie pulsed around me, I couldn't hold back anymore, thrusting hard and deep and spilling inside of her.

You're still in love with her , a voice in the back of my head warned, and I froze.

When I started to come down, I began to panic a little. What if she broke my heart all over again? I still had a lot of feelings for her. Would she be able to smash my heart into smithereens all over again?

God, was that what we did? Make love? Was it still love, after all these years?

I pulled out and laid down next to her. She put her head on my chest like she always did, so she could listen to my heartbeat. She had always said it soothed her.

Lexie sighed happily as she laid on my chest. It felt familiar and it made my insides ache, something bittersweet forming in my throat. Was this all I would get with her? Or would she still be here when I opened my eyes?

I didn't think I'd be able to drift off, but I was asleep as soon as I closed my eyes.

I woke up to daylight streaming through the windows and the bed empty. When I sat up, I realized that her ripped top was on the floor and her skirt and my Nirvana t-shirt were gone.

Great. She'd ditched me and taken my shirt.

That was what I got for hooking up with the girl who ruined my life. I wanted to scream, to throw things around the room, but in the end, all I did was leave.

She didn't care anymore. Maybe she never did.