24. Oliver

Chapter 24

Oliver

I t made me feel completely crazy, jealous, and full of rage seeing Lexie leave with Tristan. I wanted to rush after them, run them down, pull Tristan out of the car and punch him over and over.

But on the other hand, I'd been a complete ass to Lexie, especially after she'd revealed she was pregnant. How many times had I asked her if the baby was mine?

I didn't know what to do. I'd lied to Lexie when I said I just wanted to be friends. I wanted more, so much more. I wanted all of her. And I wanted this baby, too. But I'd been too damn stupid and jealous to admit it.

She was right, I didn't trust her. I hadn't trusted her back then when she told me she'd never cheated on me, and I didn't trust her now. I didn't know if I ever could. The fact that she wouldn't own up to it, even years later, made me nuts.

Tristan had always denied it as well. So I couldn't help but wonder, was it really true? Had I been wrong all this time ?

I went straight home without picking Trent up from my mom's. I needed some time to think. I also needed a drink, and I didn't like to drink around Trent, even if he was sleeping. I swallowed hard as I drove past Lexie's cabin and noticed all the lights were off. She was either not there, which made my heart seize in my chest, or she'd gone right to bed.

If she wasn't there, was she with Tristan?

I immediately pushed that thought out of my head. I had to think, really think. I couldn't risk coloring my thoughts with anger and jealousy and that's exactly what would happen if I thought about Tristan.

He'd been my best friend since we were in middle school, and the betrayal was almost as bad as breaking up with Lexie. It was a double whammy, and it felt like I'd lost everything all at once.

But my father had told me he'd seen them kissing. He'd seen them. What reason would he have to lie to me about that? He knew it would cut me to the core. Sure, he'd never really liked Lexie, or Tristan for that matter. He'd said they were beneath me, that both of them were from what he considered "the wrong side of the tracks," but he'd only wanted me to be happy.

He had known how happy Lexie made me. He'd also known that Tristan was my best friend.

Hadn't he?

Maybe I needed to talk to him. God knew I needed to talk to someone. Instead of drinking myself into a stupor, I called him. It was late, after midnight, but he picked up right away.

"What are you doing awake?" I asked him when he answered.

"Don't sleep much these days," he admitted .

I wanted to say I was sorry to hear that, but in that moment I was glad he was up.

"I need to talk to you, Dad. Can I come over?"

"Always, son. Is everything okay?"

I paused. "Not really," I confessed.

"Oliver—"

"I'll be there soon," I said, cutting him off. I didn't want to have this conversation over the phone.

I broke all manner of traffic laws getting to my father's place. He was standing on the porch, smoking a cigar, when I arrived.

"I thought you stopped smoking," I said as I walked up the steps.

He sighed. "I only have one a week."

"Still. It's bad for you."

"Don't I know it," he chuckled, looking at me. There was something in his eyes I couldn't quite name. "What's going on, son?"

"Do you remember when you told me that Tristan and Lexie were seeing each other behind my back? That you had witnessed them kissing?" I asked, cutting to the chase.

"Of course I do," he muttered, sitting down on the rocking chair. I sat perched on the porch railing across from him.

"You said you saw them, right?"

"Oliver..."

"Dad, you have to make me understand," I said, my voice breaking. "Because I'm going crazy. You saw them, right? Kissing? On the terrace?"

"Listen, son. Lexie, she wasn't the right girl for you. Or at least I didn't think so, back then."

"She wasn't the right girl because she was unfaithful," I said flatly, but my father wouldn't look at me. "Right, Dad?"

"I didn't see them," he said finally. My eyes widened so big I wondered if they'd bulge out of their sockets.

"You what ?"

"I didn't see them, son. I just... I suspected it." He spread his hands wide, in a defensive manner. If he wasn't my father, I think I would have hit him.

"You suspected it? You blew up my whole life based on suspicion?"

"Girls that age aren't known for their loyalty," he said, clearing his throat, trying to defend himself. "And you were so blindly in love, Ollie. You thought you were going to marry her."

"I would have married her," I said fiercely, gritting my teeth. "I would have married her, but you ruined that! How could you do that to me?"

My father leaned forward and put his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry," he choked out. "Your mother and I, we've been fighting about this ever since it happened. She suspected that I lied, and she told me I was playing God with your life, but Oliver, I just wanted to protect you."

"Protect me from what? Marrying the love of my life?"

"It would have been a mistake," he said firmly. "She wasn't right for you. You were too young. It wouldn't have worked out."

I stood up, pacing around in a circle to try and keep myself sane. "That wasn't your decision to make! You should have never lied to me. Not only did you ruin my relationship with Lexie, but you also destroyed my friendship with Tristan!" I breathed in deeply. "As a matter of fact, you're still ruining it. You've lied to me all these years, and for what?"

"She wasn't good enough for you!" my father burst out, and I stared at him, unblinking .

"Why, because she didn't come from money? Because her parents didn't give her a trust fund?"

"It's not like that, son. You know I worked for everything I had?—"

"Sure, with help from a loan from your daddy to get started," I snarled. "You always had what you needed growing up. I'm not saying you didn't work hard—you did, and so did I—but we always had help along the way and plenty of support."

"Lexie didn't have that and neither did Tristan," my father said. "They would have only brought you down with them."

"You broke my heart ," I said, tears burning at the backs of my eyes. "You ruined everything. How am I ever supposed to forgive you?"

"It was years ago," he said shakily. "You don't have to dwell on it, Oliver?—"

"She's pregnant. With my baby. Your grandchild."

He gasped. "You can't be serious."

"I'm dead serious. All this time, we could have been together, and now you might have ruined everything forever."

"I didn't realize what I was doing," he backtracked. "I didn't realize what heartbreak was, not until your mother left me." He paused. "I'm sorry, Ollie. I'm so sorry."

"You should be," I hissed. "Because I don't know if I can ever forgive you or if I'll ever even talk to you again."

My head was spinning and I didn't know which way was up. I managed to make it back to my car and headed straight to my mother's place.

She'd left my father because of this fight. She'd been on my side.

When she opened the door, blinking sleep out of her eyes, she didn't say a word, just pulled me into her arms.

I pressed my face against her neck, breaking down, and she held me, patting my back.

"Oh, Oliver, I'm so sorry," she murmured. I knew that she knew that Dad had come clean.

After a few moments, I got myself together, and once again we sat down at the kitchen table with a pot of tea.

"Your father didn't understand young love. He and I met when we were older, and he didn't get it."

"And you did?" I asked, curious.

She smiled. "Your father wasn't my first love, Ollie. I, too, had a high school sweetheart I was crazy about. But he went off to college and broke my heart. Your father never understood how that felt."

"Not until now," I said quietly. My mother's eyes widened. "He said he understands, now that you've left him."

"It wasn't just the lie that made me leave him," Mom pointed out. "You know that, right?"

I nodded. "I know that, Mom."

"So it's not your fault, Oliver. Don't ever think that, okay?"

I nodded again, feeling empty and hollow, my heart aching.

"I should have trusted her," I said softly. "And now, I don't know if she will ever forgive me."

"Of course she will. She's the love of your life, isn't she?"

"God help me, yes, she is. And she's carrying my baby."

"Oh, Ollie," my mother whispered, tears streaming down her face. "I'm so happy for you. I know how you've always felt about Lexie, and I know this is what you want. "

"I want it so much," I admitted. "But now I'm afraid she'll never talk to me again."

"Of course she will, honey. She still loves you just as much as you love her."

"I don't know about that," I said miserably. "Not after how I acted tonight." I sighed. "Tristan showed up at the bar."

My mother frowned. "You made an ass of yourself, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did," I groaned. "I was just so angry, so jealous."

"But you wouldn't be so angry if you didn't still care about her. You still love her, don't you?"

"Yes, so much." I rubbed a hand across my face. "What do I do?"

"You talk to her," she said simply, making it sound easy. "You go to her and apologize, tell her you know what an ass you've been, and hope that she forgives you."

"What if?—"

"No what ifs, son. It might take some time. She might need some space. But if it's meant to be, she'll come back to you." She smiled. "And you'd better take care of that new grandbaby of mine."

"Of course I will."

"Do you want to crash on the pull-out again?" she asked, and I nodded, giving her a grateful half-smile.

The pull-out had almost become a more comfortable space than my own bed, with my mother's comforting vibe everywhere around me. I thought about Trent, how I had to tell him that he'd be a big brother soon. I thought about Lexie, hoping against hope that she would forgive me.

I even thought about Tristan, wondering if I could ever get his friendship back.

All I could do was try.