13. Lexie

Chapter 13

Lexie

A couple of weeks had passed since I'd last seen Oliver or his little boy. It was mostly because it was tourist season in Wagontown, and the grocery store had me running around in circles. I had plenty of hours right now at work, but that would die down as summer waned into spring, and by then, I was hoping to have Oliver's bartending job as a means of income.

God knew my little paycheck at the grocery store wasn't going to get me out of this godforsaken town. With my first check, I purchased myself a cell phone. The only numbers I had in it were Oliver's, his grandmother's, and Gillian's. I found myself grateful that I didn't have Dick's number memorized, and that he didn't have this new number.

I texted Gillian with my new number, and she immediately called me. I couldn't help but smile at the exuberance in her voice.

"We have to celebrate!"

"Celebrate a new phone?" I asked with a chuckle, but she didn't join in.

"You're moving up in the world, Lex. You've got that cabin, you got a job, and now you've got a new phone. We should celebrate your newfound independence."

Although I hadn't exactly told her about how controlling Dick was, I felt that Gillian got the idea, knowing how he'd isolated me from my family and friends.

She seemed to want to make a big deal about me getting away, and why shouldn't I let her? I didn't have a shift at the grocery store for two more days, and Oliver hadn't approached me about starting at the bar just yet. I assumed he was still getting things together, maybe even remodeling. It could be weeks.

"All right," I agreed. "Let's celebrate."

"Just you and me. We'll go out."

"Where?"

"The Pig, of course," she said, as if there wasn't half a dozen other bars in Wagontown.

I couldn't complain. After all, I'd frequented the Pig when I was younger, and it still held a lot of nostalgia for me.

"Let's eat first," I suggested. "I'm starving."

"Bonnie's it is!" Gillian cheered.

Bonnie's was a local wing place where they had all kinds of crazy flavors and Gillian had loved it since we were kids.

I couldn't help but smile at her excitement. We chatted for a moment longer before I hung up to get dressed.

I decided on a simple milkmaid sundress, even though I didn't have a ton of cleavage to fill it out. I loved the shape of it though, and I figured my toned legs would make up for the lack of cleavage.

It wasn't like I was dressing to impress, exactly, but it'd been a while since I'd been out, and I wanted to look nice.

You're healing, a voice whispered in my head. I wouldn't admit to myself that the reason so much of my confidence had come back was Oliver's admiration. Dick had made me feel average, normal, boring, unremarkable. Oliver made me feel desirable, special, unique, and sexy.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked really pretty. I realized I hadn't thought that in years and tears pricked my eyes. How had I let that jerk make me feel so small, so unloved?

I didn't want to go down the road of linking his bad treatment with the way that my folks had always minimized me. Today was a day to be happy. I was the owner of a new cell phone after all.

I shoved the bad thoughts and memories away, grinned at myself in the mirror, and started working on my hair and makeup.

I curled my hair so that it flowed down my back and put on a bit of smoky makeup. By the time I was done, I was happy with what I saw in the mirror. It was probably the first time in a long time I felt good about myself, and I had to admit that was partially because of Oliver.

He still wanted me. After all this time.

I took in a deep breath. I couldn't believe that I'd accepted a job offer from him, especially since I found out I was living on his property, but it was the only opportunity I had to get out of this town and back to my life.

Being in Wagontown was like being in a nostalgic bubble, as if my real life was somewhere else, and I was living in some kind of fantasy. In the fantasy, I hadn't been damaged by years of poor treatment by those who professed to love me. I was just Lexie, who loved football games, drinking beer with friends, and… sharing kisses and maybe a bit more with her boyfriend in the corner of the bar.

It was all a fantasy, it couldn't be real, but I was enjoying leaning into the good times from the past, being the person I used to be.

The fantasy in my head was a dream where Oliver could be mine. Where we could have a family.

Gillian knocked on my door, startling me from my thoughts. I jumped and headed quickly to the peephole. I didn't know why I was so nervous. It wasn't like Dick had any idea where I was. Yet I kept expecting him to show up.

Gillian frowned as she walked inside, dressed in a pink pastel dress with a matching bag, always stylish. It fit her petite frame well.

"What's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost."

I shook my head. "Nothing. You ready to go?"

She grinned. "I'm always ready for Bonnie's Caribbean jerk wings," she said, licking her lips.

I smiled wanly and got into her car, a weird feeling at the back of my neck. Why was I so afraid Dick would show up? He'd never hurt me, at least not physically.

But his tongue could just be so damn sharp....

"You're far away today," Gillian accused.

"Thinking about my ex," I admitted.

She paused, surprise evident on her face. "You don't talk much about him. Don't talk much about anything to do with your life recently, actually."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, and I meant it. I reached over to take her hand and she squeezed it. Maybe I'd been wrong all these years to avoid her. She was my baby sister, after all. We should have a closer relationship.

Gillian gave me a smile. "No worries, sis. We've got all the time in the world."

I went quiet, not wanting to say I was on the next flight out of here as soon as possible .

Bonnie's was packed for lunch, and we had to wait about fifteen minutes for a table near the window, but Gillian didn't seem to mind.

She chatted about her friends, her job, everything, while I just nodded and smiled in the right places. She'd always been a talker.

At the table, she ordered her usual and I bit my lip, looking at the flavors on the menu. There was so much to choose from.

"Try the Thai curry," a voice said behind me, making me jump. "It's to die for."

I turned slightly to see Oliver, smiling, standing in the to-go line near our table.

Licking my lips, I nodded at the server to let her know that would be my order.

"Picking up lunch for me and the kiddo," Oliver said easily, as if we were friends, as if he wasn't inside me just a couple of weeks ago.

I cleared my throat. "He looks too young for wings."

"He loves the boneless buffalo," he said with a chuckle. "Kid loves spice, I don't get it."

I smiled, thinking of the sleeping boy he'd been carrying a few nights ago at his house. I would have known that the little boy was his, even at a glance. He looked just like the pictures I had seen of Oliver when he was a kid.

The thought of little Olivers running around, calling me mommy, made my heart squeeze in my chest. I had fully expected for that to be my future for so long. I had imagined how our kids would look as they grew, had picked out their names and everything.

I didn't want to examine how much it had hurt to see Oliver cradling a child and carrying him to bed when I knew that the future I had always imagined would never come to pass.

"See you later?" Oliver said hopefully as he got his food, and I nodded briefly as Gillian just stared at the two of us, mouth wide open.

"You have got to spill what's going on there," she whispered as soon as the door closed behind him.

"There's nothing to tell," I muttered, knowing that was a lie. There was plenty to tell, but I didn't know where to even start.

"You were crazy about him in high school," Gillian pointed out. "I remember that much."

"That was a long time ago," I mumbled, picking at my napkin, and tearing it into little pieces.

Gillian narrowed her eyes. "You know, I was so happy when you came back to town. I thought maybe I could finally have my sister be my best friend. But you're just so stiff and closed off, Lex."

"I'm sorry," I said again, looking up at her with a small smile. "I'll try to be better." I took in a deep breath. "Oliver offered me a job."

"A job?" she asked incredulously. "That's all?"

"That's not all," I said quietly. "We've been... well, we've been hooking up, I guess you'd call it."

She gasped. "My sister, the tramp."

"Stop," I said, laughing, knowing she was teasing. "It's not like that. We're both adults, right? Haven't you ever had a fling? Also, that's a heck of a thing to say to me after shaming me into being more open with you."

She chuckled. "Sorry. I couldn't resist teasing you. But, no, I would never even want to get involved with my high school sweetheart. That just makes things complicated."

"It sure does," I agreed, thankful when the wings arrived. Gillian dug in. She couldn't ask questions with her mouth full.

The Thai curry wings were, in fact, to die for. They were delicious paired with the house blue cheese dip, and I had sauce all over my face within minutes.

But that was par for the course at Bonnie's.

I wiped off my face with the wet naps they provided, and Gillian grinned at me.

"This was nice," she said. "How about instead of going to the Pig tonight we stay in with some ice cream and wine? You can tell me all about Oliver." She paused. "And your ex-almost-husband."

I thought about it for a long moment. "You know what, that sounds amazing."

We headed back to Gillian's place. Once we got inside, she threw me a pair of sweats and a t-shirt to put on. We sat on the couch watching bad reality television while each eating a pint of ice cream. Mint chocolate for Gillian, and Rocky Road for me.

There was something so sweet about it, something so comforting. We should have been like this years ago. It was my fault we weren't. I was going to make up for it, though. I was going to be the big sister I always should have been.

No reason why we couldn't start now.

I leaned against her. "So tell me about this guy you're dating."

Gillian blushed. "Gray? You met him."

"Briefly. I don't know the backstory though."

"It's boring," she huffed, but I kept looking at her curiously. She took in a deep breath. "Okay, so we met at work."

"Is he your superior? Is this going to sound like a romcom movie?" I teased .

She snorted. "No, we're both lowly office workers. I asked him out, and, well, it's been off and on ever since."

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by off and on?"

Gillian sighed. "I don't know. He doesn't seem to want a relationship," she said glumly.

I frowned. "I don't know if you should be dating guys like that, Gilly."

"I know , I know," she groaned, "but he's so sweet and he treats me well when we're together." She shoved a big spoonful of mint chocolate chip into her mouth.

"When you're together?" I kept asking questions because I wanted to know more about him, wanted to protect her.

"Yeah. For instance, he doesn't text a lot when we're apart. I'm always the first to text him then I don't hear back right away, that kind of thing," she admitted.

I frowned deeper. "That's not good."

She looked at me sideways. "Was it like that with you and Oliver?"

I breathed out a little laugh. "Oh, not at all. Oliver would come to my house if I didn't message him back quickly or if I didn't answer his calls."

"God, I wish Gray would be more like that. I feel sometimes like I'm the only one trying, you know?"

"That's not how things are supposed to be, Gilly."

She sighed. "I know. I should break things off, shouldn't I?"

I put my arm around her shoulders. "I know it's hard. But it's probably for the best."

I probably needed to take my own advice. I knew that things between Oliver and I weren't real, that they wouldn't last. We'd only hooked up a couple of times, and he clearly still held some resentment toward me. Hell, I held some resentment toward him, as well.

Gillian sniffled, a single tear sliding down her face. She was always bubbly and happy, so when it came to negative emotions, she liked keeping it short and sweet.

"Tell me about Oliver. How things were for the two of you back then."

I let out a long breath, a small smile spreading across my face. "He was... intense. That's the only word to explain it. When he kissed me, when he touched me, it was like we were the only two people in the world."

"Was it love at first sight?" she asked, her eyes widening, and I kicked myself for not having these kinds of conversations with her when she was younger.

She needed a big sister to tell her what love was like, so that she wouldn't look for it in the wrong places.

"Not for me," I admitted. "It was at the Pig. On the dance floor."

"Is that where you met?"

I nodded, smiling. "I was out with my friends, dancing, celebrating someone's birthday or something, I don't remember. Anyway, I saw Oliver outside chatting with a friend, and the way his eyes followed me, it was as if he'd seen me before, recognized me. But I didn't know him. I mean I had seen him at school, but I didn't pay much attention, you know? I wasn't a cool kid, and he totally was."

"Did you think he was cute?"

"Gorgeous," I breathed. "He had the deepest brown eyes, broad shoulders. But I never thought a guy that looked like him would go for a girl who looked like me. So I didn't think much else about it, not until I was on the dance floor."

"I can't believe the Pig used to have a real dance floor instead of patrons having to move around the pool tables," she giggled.

"Mmm-hmm, used to have a disco ball and everything," I laughed. "But anyway, he grabbed me by the hip and turned me around."

"That's so romantic," she squealed. "Did he say anything?"

"He said ‘wanna dance?' I nodded, and he gave me the sexiest, slowest smile."

"That sounds wonderful," she said, her tone bittersweet. "I wish I had something like that with Gray. We worked together for months on campus before I got the courage to ask him if he wanted to go out. I had to ask him ."

"Love isn't always instant," I told her. "Sometimes it grows. And maybe it will with Gray, but if not, there are?—"

"Don't you dare say there are plenty of fish in the sea."

"Other guys who could love you better, is what I was going to say," I finished, smiling at her. I noticed Gillian's eyes were a bit wet.

"I've missed you, sissy," she whispered, and pressed her forehead to mine.

In that moment, at least, I was glad I came back to Wagontown.