10. Oliver

Chapter 10

Oliver

I couldn't sleep. It was nearing one in the morning and I didn't know what was wrong with me. Well, actually I did.

Lex was what was wrong with me. I'd almost let myself fall back into her, hook line and sinker.

Stupid .

Before I knew it, I was looking out the window, frowning when I didn't see any lights on at her place. It was so late. Where could she be?

Moments later, I watched as a sleek black car pulled into the driveway and Lex got out, heading into the house. She offered a tired wave at the car as it pulled away.

Who was that? Was she on a date? How'd she meet someone so quickly since arriving back in Wagontown?

My shoulders stiffened as I wondered if it was Tristan. They have some catching up to do and maybe they'd done it tonight. I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated.

I couldn't think about it for too long though because Trent woke up, yelling for me. I rushed into his room, panicked, to find him sitting up in bed, wiping at his eyes and crying.

"Monster," he said in a whispery, hoarse voice. "The monsters were trying to get me. They got you, Daddy," he whimpered, and I picked him up, humming to him lightly.

"It's okay, Trent. Monsters aren't real, remember?" I soothed, patting his back, but he pulled away, frowning at me.

"They tried to eat my toes, Dad," he said solemnly, and I had to bite back laughter.

"I'm so sorry, honey. Do you want to get a snack or have some tea?"

"Both."

I carried him into the kitchen, sitting him down in his booster seat while I made a pot of peppermint tea, his favorite, and a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Trent often had nightmares and I worried about that a lot. Was it because his mom wasn't around? Was I doing the right thing, distracting him, and not making him go back to bed immediately? This whole parenting thing didn't come with a manual.

Trent sniffled slightly before digging into his peanut butter and jelly and sipping his tea. I smiled at him, ruffling his hair.

"Feeling better, buddy?"

"A little," he said in a tired, raspy voice. He looked up at me with wide eyes. "Do you think the monsters want my toes because they're clean and smell good? Because I could stop washing them."

I couldn't help but snicker and he frowned at me.

"I think they like dirty toes even more," I replied with a serious expression, and Trent's eyes widened. I laughed. " I'm only joking, buddy. There's no such thing as monsters."

"Then why do they come in my dreams?" he asked, huffing out a breath in frustration.

"Dreams come from your mind, Trent. Something deep down that you're afraid of," I tried to explain as I sipped my tea.

"What are you afraid of, Daddy?"

He tilted his head as he looked up at me. I opened my mouth but didn't know how to answer.

"I guess I'm mostly afraid of being a bad dad," I said quietly.

Trent climbed off his booster seat and into my lap, hugging me tightly. "You're the best dad in the world."

My heart swelled and I hugged him back just as tight. "I love you, Trent. You ready to go back to bed?" I asked after a brief pause.

He shook his head fiercely. "I think you know what I need," he said promptly, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Rock and roll?" I asked, and Trent grinned, nodding his head in agreement.

I chuckled and stood up, taking his small hand, and leading him to the back of the house and onto the terrace near the pool.

I turned on the boombox as loud as I could stand it. He started to dance, moving and grooving, but soon his dancing became slow, and within a couple of songs, he climbed up into my lap and fell asleep, snoring lightly against my chest.

I rubbed his back, knowing he would probably wake up if I took him back into the house right away. So I sat there and listened to the music for a while, classic rock, Trent's favorite, and thought about better days.

Everything was perfect when I was eighteen. I had a sweet girl and the world at my feet. I had my best friend, Tristan, who was there for me through thick and thin, and my parents were happily married.

One day, Lex wore a yellow sundress to my house. I pinned her against my bedroom wall, arms above her head, our fingers intertwined, until she was panting against my neck.

When she pulled away, laughing, I kissed the freckles across her nose.

That good memory led to something bad, and I knew it, so I tried to push it out of my mind.

As I stared across the grounds down to the cabin where Lex was, a small figure came into view, stalking across the grass.

I frowned, squinting, and standing up, jostling Trent in my arms. He didn't stir.

I knew it was Lex before she came into focus. It was like something inside me always knew when she was near, and that was rather inconvenient given how she'd broken my heart and put it in a blender.

How do you just stop loving someone no matter what they did to you?

Lexie made it up the hill, glaring at me, but her face softened when she saw the little bundle in my arms.

"Ollie," she breathed. "You've got a little one."

I couldn't help but smile. "That I do," I admitted, walking over to the boombox and turning down the music. "I assume the noise is why you came hauling ass up here."

Lexie snorted out a laugh and it wrinkled her nose in the cutest way. "I thought you were having a party."

"This late?" I asked incredulously. "Please, Lex, we're old now. "

"Speak for yourself, mister." She swayed toward me and Trent. "He's really yours?"

"Nah, I just took him in. Like a stray." Her eyes widened and I laughed. "Yes, Lex, he's mine."

"How old is he?"

"Five," I say, brushing Trent's hair back from his face. "Listen, I've got to take him inside but... stay for a beer, why don't you?"

Lexie looked at me a bit warily, but then shrugged and sat down in the patio chair across from mine.

I took Trent into the house and upstairs to his room, tucking him in and humming to him, hoping he wouldn't wake up again. He didn't, thankfully.

My heart thudded in my chest. Why had I asked her to stay? What was I thinking? I've been desperately trying to get her out of my head yet I just invited her to have a beer?

Despite my contradictory thoughts, I grabbed two bottles from the fridge and popped them open before walking back out onto the patio.

She sat cross-legged in the patio chair, wearing a pair of sweats and a baggy t-shirt. She didn't appear to have any makeup on, and her hair was piled messily up on top of her head. She looked unexpectedly sexy, and I had to catch my breath.

I wanted to ask her where she'd been tonight. I wanted to ask her who she'd been with.

But that was none of my business. Not anymore.

Instead, I cleared my throat. "I guess you probably have a lot of questions."

She shrugged. "I guess it's really none of my business."

She was right, it wasn't, but I was still surprised she didn't ask. Maybe I was just assuming she still cared when she honestly didn't .

She looked up at me. "I'm more surprised that you're here at all. Are you stalking me or something?"

I scoffed, anger rushing through me. "No, of course not. If it wasn't for me, you'd have had nowhere to go."

"I have somewhere to go," she mumbled. I noticed there was no fire in her eyes. Seeing that made me deflate, made my shoulders slump.

Without fire, there was no love. And maybe there never had been, at least not for her. Me, on the other hand, I had fallen so deep in love that it felt like I was dying every time I had to be away from her, even if it was only for a few days.

It had become clear that she didn't feel the same way. Not then, not now.

I took in a deep breath. "Well, I'm sorry about the music. It's the only way he'll go back to sleep."

"You were married?" she asked quietly, and there it was, some hint that she was at least a little bit interested in what I had been up to. I hated the way it made my heart soar.

I shook my head. "No, it was nothing. We only saw each other a handful of times. But when Trent came along, she realized she just wasn't ready to be a mother. Dropped him off on my doorstep when he was a few weeks old."

"Holy cow," Lexie said, her eyes widening. "She literally just left him? You haven't heard from her?"

I shook my head. "I filed paperwork with the court, and she signed over her rights. She assumed that I'd be a better parent, I guess."

"And you're not angry?" She looked at me incredulously, her head tilted.

"I was, for a while. But Trent is the best thing that's ever happened to me. He changed my life."

Her wide eyes softened. "I always thought you'd be a really good dad. "

Hearing that stung, hitting me right in the chest with emotion, and I tore my eyes away from hers.

"Are you still angry that I live here?"

She sighed. "A little. I didn't want charity. Not from Gillian and not from you."

"It's not charity," I said quietly, looking into her eyes. "The place is just sitting there, empty. Besides, you'll pay what you can in rent eventually. That's more than what I was getting before."

She glanced up at me, biting her lip, and God, how I wanted to thumb it from between her teeth and kiss her.

"Okay," she said quietly. "I'm sorry I interrupted your time with your son."

"You didn't," I said quickly, though I didn't know why I said it. Why did I want her to stay so badly? Why couldn't I just let her go? "Stay for another beer. We're neighbor's now, right?"

A smile broke across her pretty face, and she tipped her half-empty beer toward me.

"I suppose we are."

My breath caught in my throat, and I sat down heavily on the patio chair across from her.

She drained the rest of her beer and stood, walking past me to throw it in the big trash can by the house.

What I did next was the stupidest thing I'd done in years. Again.

I grabbed her around the wrist, pulled her onto my lap, and then I kissed her.