Chapter 9

I'm good at being the center of attention. But I'm even better at being a fly on the wall—two opposing ideas that have suited me well in the world I grew up in. When I really want something bad enough, sometimes I have to dim my own light in order to illuminate the path forward.

People have been underestimating me for years. When you spend most of your time dressing up in skimpy designer outfits and guzzling champagne like it's water, people tend to count you out. But I pay attention. I observe and listen and keep mental notes. And I have the patience of a fucking lion, despite my pouty-girl antics. I've perfected the art of drama queen on the outside and stone-cold manipulator on the inside.

I see and hear things even when I'm not trying. I self-medicate with booze and drugs to try and drown out that noise. But it's not easy to drown in shallow pools.

But here… it will ensure my survival. My escape.

It's only been a week, and I'm already allowed to leave my room at my own will. I'm being observed but not obsessively watched. The only one I thought was going to be a problem is Gorman, but Mordecai, Fabien, and Raithe seem to have some kind of hold on him and the others. None of the orderlies have returned to my room in a few days. Not since the night Fabien kicked them out.

The night he carved his name into my thigh.

I run my fingers over the tattoo, wincing slightly. Moisture pools between my legs at the memory. I should be angry that he marked me. I can't figure out why I'm not. Other than the fact that his plan backfired. I feel like his mark gives me more power over him than the other way around.

Fucking psycho.

Oh, wait, that's me. I'm the fucking psycho for having an orgasm while being cut open. But there was something different about his touch. It was dark and feral and electric. I came so fucking hard. And as much as I hate him—all three of them—I can't help but crave more.

I brush my hair back into a low ponytail and stare at myself in the mirror. In the fluorescent light, my skin looks sallow. A wave of shame reaches up to choke me as I take note of the dark circles that I used to conceal with makeup. My blue-green eyes are more vibrant somehow without the thick coating of black mascara I usually wear. But I don't look like myself. Or at least not the self I've spent so many years curating and perfecting.

I miss my fancy clothes and my perfume and my Balenciaga bag. They were my armor. My comfort. I stand here now, bare-faced and devoid of all my luxuries, feeling more vulnerable than ever. And I fucking hate it. I hate myself.

In here, I can't hide behind my pretty things.

The lights flicker three times before going out, ending my episode of self-loathing. Fuck. This place is like a prison. It's not even ten p.m., and they're making us go to bed. I never even used to leave my apartment at Tenebrose until then. I bet Maureen is fucking loving having the place all to herself. I wonder how many pieces of furniture she and her guys have desecrated. I actually don't want to think about it since one of them is my cousin. Ugh . I'm thoroughly cringed out now.

I sigh and plop down on the bed. There's a little bit of moonlight streaking in, so I'm not completely in the dark. I take off my pants and spread my legs to look at my new tattoo again. In the shadows, I can barely see it, but the F is prominent. I trace my fingers over the letters again, and it sparks a tingle in my core.

"Slut," a voice hisses.

I freeze. What the fuck was that? My heart pounds as I wait to see if I'm imagining things. My gaze darts around the room. I think I see something move by the door, but it's too dark to tell.

"Hello?" I whisper.

" Die, bitch ."

Fuck.

I leap to my feet and press my back against the wall. "Who the fuck is there?" I say louder this time.

A stream of giggles erupts in the room, and I almost lose it. My throat is dry, and my knees shake. I grab a pillow without thinking. As if that's going to fucking help me.

" Let's make her scream ."

I gasp as two demonic-looking blonde girls step into the stream of moonlight.

"Stay the fuck back," I shout.

They move in unison, mimicking each other as if they're one entity, flying toward me at full speed.

I dart out of their way and almost fall down as I trip over my own shoes. Fucking ghosts . I hate them. "Get out of my room, you little brats."

They growl as their eyes darken. "You're going to die here just like us." Their voices echo in the room as they charge toward me again.

I remember the knife Fabien gave me but then remind myself that its useless. You can't kill a ghost. And these two are so far gone that they aren't even solid matter anymore. Not like Jessamine back at Tenebrose. That snarky little bitch is now shacked up with Professor Erebus.

I try sidestepping around them again, but I'm not quick enough. They each take a slash at my arms with their nails. Solid or not, they can still inflict pain. Fuck.

I spin around, looking for them, but they hide in the dark. My pulse is beating so hard I can barely catch my breath. "What do you want from me?"

Another eruption of giggles breaks out. " Sweet treats for evil deeds ."

Huh?

I need to get the fuck out of this room before I actually lose my damn mind.

The twins emerge again, right in front of me, their faces contorted. I scream and run for the door. As I turn the knob and pull, I'm relieved that it's unlocked. Alarmed but relieved as hell. Someone forgot to lock me in tight tonight.

But it's not until I'm in the fluorescent-lit hall that I realize I'm barefoot and wearing only a thin tank top and panties. Where the fuck am I gonna go? If I tell the orderlies there are two demon ghosts in my room, they'll drug and restrain me again. Fuck.

All right. I can do this. They are just annoying and will probably go away when they get bored of terrorizing me.

I take a deep breath and grab the doorknob, dreading going back in. A cold chill sweeps up my spine.

Oh, no .

I jiggle the knob, but it doesn't budge. I fucking somehow locked myself out. Or those evil brats did.

I slam my hands against the door. "Let me back in!" A phrase I did not think I would ever utter in this place. But lingering in a creepy hallway half-naked was the worst possible scenario.

The giggling continues. I press my ear to the door and scream again, "Let me the fuck back in."

Footsteps barrel up behind me. Before I can turn around, a hand covers my mouth. "Keep your fucking voice down," Raithe growls into my ear.

I scream into his palm and writhe against him. I hate this man. I think I hate him the most out of all three of them.

He grunts and drags me down the hall. "I'm going to shut you up, little freak."

I bite on his fingers, but he doesn't let up. He holds me tight in his grip as I kick and flail to get out. It's no use. This man is six foot five of solid muscle. He's a fucking beast.

We reach the end of the third or fourth corridor he's dragged me down—I can't keep track of where I am at this point—and come to a stop. He pulls out a key and unlocks an unmarked door.

As soon as we enter, he throws me to the floor and locks us in.

"Fabien wants to mess around with childish pranks. But a woman like you doesn't scare easily, does she?"

I look around the room we're in, my teeth chattering as the cold linoleum floor presses against my ass cheeks through my thin panties. There's an operating table in the center and a tray full of scalpels and needles next to it. A fluorescent lamp hangs from the ceiling, flickering, dangling by one wire as if the slightest draft will knock it completely out.

Raithe stalks toward me. "A woman like you eats men like Fabien for breakfast. With your tight little cunt and your hard nipples, welcoming your predators in like a black widow spider."

I shake as he towers over me. This man is devoid of any empathy. As I stare into his one good eye, I see only darkness. His rage has festered into apathy and brought him to a state of no longer giving a fuck. This man will hurt me. Of this, I have no fucking doubt.

"Just do what you're going to do, Raithe. The drama is boring me," I bite back. Despite my fear, I will not fucking cower.

He lifts me off the floor by my shoulders as if I weigh nothing and slams me down on the operating table. "I'm going to have to do something about that vile fucking mouth of yours. You just don't know when to shut the fuck up."

I whimper as he slips my wrists and ankles into the restraints, strapping them in tight. "There's not many things that can keep me quiet, asshole."

"Oh, I bet I can think of a few." He picks up a scalpel and holds the sharp pointy end over my mouth. "Maybe I'll cut out your tongue and then sew your lips shut. Make you my little rag doll."

I have to slow my breath, or I'm going to fucking hyperventilate. "Now, who's the little freak?" I snarl.

"I'm anything but little, darlin'. Or don't you remember how your hand barely fit around my cock?"

The look in his eyes is feral. I shudder as the chill in the air sends goosebumps across my skin. "You're a sick fuck, you know that? A really top-notch fucking psycho."

He grins as he slides the scalpel down my panties. "You're about to find out just how fucking sick I am."

My legs tremble as he pulls up on the scalpel, ripping my panties apart in one swift jerk. He pulls them off before pressing them to his face and sucks in a deep breath, inhaling their scent.

"I can smell your arousal." He rubs them across his lips. "Mmm, so wet." He licks his lips as he stuffs my panties into his pocket.

My stomach flips. Fear mixed with lust has me in a fucking chokehold. My clit tingles, and my nipples are as hard as rocks. Fuck. "You wish," I breathe.

His eyes darken when he spots Fabien's name on my thigh. He pins my leg back. "What the fuck is this?"

I chuckle. "A little present from your psycho friend. He did a shit job, by the way."

Raithe's eyes flash to mine. "You're right. Let me show you how I can do better."

Oh, no. Fuck.

I lurch back, desperately trying to twist out of my restraints, even though I know it's pointless. "Don't you fucking dare."

He tickles the flesh of my opposite thigh with the tip of the scalpel, taunting me. "So pretty. Creamy. Unmarked ."

I will survive this. Just like I've survived everything else. He has no idea what I've been through. What I'm capable of.

I grit my teeth and suck in a sharp breath. "Stop being a little bitch and just do it. Or are those big balls wasted on you?"

He rips his eye patch off before grabbing my throat and lowering his face over mine. "I didn't scream when the raven took my eye. I wanted to, but I kept my fucking mouth shut. For Nocturnus. It was a sacrifice. A blessing , they told me. That was days before they turned their backs on us. Before they stripped us of our sigils. I've earned every inch of my big balls, darlin'."

I swallow hard as his grip tightens. "Prove it." Why the fuck am I daring him? It's like I have a sudden death wish or something. But I can't help myself. These men push me to the edge, and instead of holding on for dear life, I just want to fucking leap over it.

"You people make me sick," he hisses. "With your trust funds and god-complexes, you walk around like the world belongs to you. And the rest of us are supposed to bow at your feet. But you didn't earn a fucking thing. Everything you have was handed to you on a poison-laced silver platter."

He's not wrong, but he's not completely right either. "You don't know anything about me or where I come from. You never will."

He grunts in frustration. "You talk too fucking much. I'd rather hear you scream."

"Never," I bite back.

He grabs my thigh and pins it back, edging the scalpel into my flesh. "Let's test that theory, shall we?"

I ball my fists and brace myself. Fuck, this would be so much easier if I wasn't sober. I watch as he digs in, tearing through my flesh as he carves the R. I don't look away. Fuck him.

The pain is excruciating. I whimper as my blood spills onto the table. He chuckles as he continues to etch his name into my skin. Each cut is deeper, harder, hungrier .

The quieter I stay, the angrier he gets. The more feral. This makes me fucking euphoric. Despite the fact that I want to scream and claw his other eye out, I try to remain calm and silent. But the heat in my body begins to rise, and my pulse accelerates.

"Fuck," I breathe.

He finishes the last letter and slaps my thigh. "There. I branded you like the whore you are. My fucking whore now to do whatever the fuck I want with."

Fuck. I hate how hot he looks standing over me with the bloody scalpel. His brow glistens with sweat; his lips slick with carnal need. I want his hands all over me. My body betrays me in that instant.

His gaze flickers to my chest just as my nipples pebble. He drags his palm up my belly and pushes my tank top up to my shoulders. I gasp as the cold air hits my bare breasts.

"Is that for me?" he rasps.

"Fuck you." I can't hide the ache in my voice.

He pinches my nipple between his fingers and pulls up. I arch with him, letting out a soft moan. "Looks like someone wants to play with monsters."

"You repulse me," I spit the words.

Raithe chuckles as he slides his other hand down my middle until he reaches my swollen clit. He pinches it in between his fingers, and I buck like a fucking horse.

"Now I've fucking got you, little freak. Playing you like a marionette. Will you scream for this?"

A wave of spasms rolls through me as he alternates pinching my nipple and nub, pulling me back and forth like a seesaw. I arch and buck and bite my lip so fucking hard I draw blood. He's going to make me cum, and I hate him for it.

" Never ," I repeat, breathless. But my resolve is weakening. I'm on the verge of erupting like a volcano.

He chuckles as he grabs the stethoscope off the surgical tray and inserts the earpieces into his ears. "You can bite your tongue all you want, but you can't hide from me on the inside."

I gasp as he presses the cold metal bell of the stethoscope against my pussy. He closes his eyes. "Oh, yeah. Your pulse is beating so fast. So hard … Take a deep breath for me, darlin'."

Fuck. A deep spasm shoots through my core as he begins rubbing the end of the scope up and down my slit, pressing it in deeper each time. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Listening to your pussy scream. Let's get this in deeper."

I shake my head. The end of the stethoscope is at least two inches wide. "No. Stop. I don't want that in me."

As he rubs it in circles, I can hear the slopping of my juices.

"Your pretty little cunt is telling me otherwise. Now shut the fuck up so I can hear how hard your pulse throbs for me."

He spreads my pussy lips back and pushes the stethoscope farther in. "There we go. Sliding in so good. I knew it would be a perfect fit."

What the fuck is happening to me? I let out a deep moan, no longer caring about staying quiet. I jerk my hips as the cold metal tool stretches me open. I tremble around it, clenching as he twists it in circles.

It's the closest his ears will get to being inside me, and there's something so erotic about seeing the long cord connecting my cunt to him. The fact that he can actually hear my heartbeat…

A wild look flashes in his eyes. A look that most likely matches mine. He unstraps me from the table and lifts me up. We move backward at record speed until he plops down in a chair and pulls me on his lap. "I want you to listen to how feral I make you, little freak."

He puts the stethoscope in my ears before pulling my legs apart and continuing to fuck me with the other end. I arch and lean my back against his chest. I grind my ass against his lap, feeling the way his cock hardens and twitches at every thrust.

"Oh, fuck," I moan.

He pushes it all the way inside me. "Do you hear that? That's the sound of your pussy. She's saying yes, Daddy…" He wraps his other hand around my throat. "You're my whore, little freak. My rag doll." He thrusts the stethoscope in and out, rolling it in circles over my clit and then back inside my aching core. "You are nobody in here. Libra Thorn doesn't exist. Accept that."

Shame fills me as I rock against his hand, chasing my orgasm as hard as I try to run away from it. "I'm Libra Thorn," I grit out.

He squeezes tighter, blurring my vision with stars. "Libra Thorn is dead. Say that name one more time, and I'll fuck it right out of you."

Fuck. I can't breathe. He pumps the tool so hard and fast now that I'm so fucking close to exploding. And his degradation only fuels me deeper.

I take a shallow breath. "You're not good enough for me. Because I'm Libra Thorn ."

He growls in my ear and pushes me forward. "I warned you, little freak. Now this is going to hurt."