Chapter 30

I wasn't supposed to end up in Absentia Asylum. But I think it's the best thing that ever happened to me. Despite the whole losing my freedom thing and getting sexually assaulted by creepy orderlies, it saved me.

If I hadn't been captured by Penny Blackwell, I would've woken up hungover in Hemlock Valley with enough self-loathing to fill an entire poison field. I was on a path of destruction, a category five downward spiral. I was letting my demons control me like a puppet. I didn't just break out of the asylum, I broke away from a life that was eating me alive.

Now I can start to rebuild the relationships I took for granted and finally cut ties with my father. He can't control me anymore. Not without my consent. And I refuse to give him any more of myself. Not having his money to fall back on feels pretty fucking good actually. I was more alone when I had it, anyway.

Fabien squeezes my hand, bringing me back to the present. "You sure about this, doll face?"

I swallow down the lump in my throat as we stand in front of the large iron gates. "At least we're going in the front door this time."

He rubs a tattooed hand over his shaved head, arching his brows. "Just you and me?'

Fabien isn't scared of anything that I'm aware of, except this place. Which is why we need to go back in.

"Mordecai and Raithe aren't attached to the ghosts like we are. They didn't connect with them. For some reason, we did. You're the one who figured out how to calm Kitty and you could get the Terror Twins to do just about anything for you. And Rowena… she helped me. It should just be us." I wipe my sweaty palms down the front of my jeans.

He chuckles. "I don't know which one of us is crazier—you for dragging me back to this shithole, or me for letting you."

I'm not afraid anymore. The monsters are gone, Penny Blackwell is dead, and if I somehow go missing again, this will be the first place everyone will look. I take the bolt cutters from Fabien and get to work on the chains that wrap through the gates. They're rusted and weathered so that should make it easier to slice through.

After a few minutes of huffing and puffing and fighting with the metal, Fabien laughs and takes over. "Come on now, beautiful. What's the point of dating a freakishly strong psycho if you can't use him to break into haunted asylums?"

I laugh and concede, stepping back so he can get to work. "Dating? I think we're past that now."

He shoots me a wink as the thick metal chains crack and fall away from the gates. "I do need to take you on a proper date come to think of it. Maybe we'll have a picnic in the courtyard. For old time's sake."

A tiny spasm flickers in my core as I remember that night they tied me to stakes in the ground and tortured me. It had the opposite effect they were intending. Because I'm a sick freak like them. That night brought all my darkest cravings to light. It was a baptism of sorts.

I push through the creaky gates and throw him a sly smirk. "Don't threaten me with a good time unless there's ropes involved."

He picks the chains back up off the ground. "Should I grab these for later then?"

I snort-laugh at the mischievous look in his eyes. "I seriously can't take you anywhere."

He laughs back but as soon as we reach the front doors of the asylum, his eyes darken and he purses his lips. He holds a large knife in one hand while shielding me back with the other. "Just in case we didn't get all of them."

I nod. A slight trickle of fear threatens to send me into a panic if I don't swallow it down quickly. He's right to be on guard, but deep down I know that the only things left in this place are ghosts.

And the dead can't hurt us. Not like the living can.

It takes Fabien less than a minute to break the lock on the front doors. They've been closed for so long, it takes both of our strength to pry them open. I grip my own knife as we creep inside.

I flinch as a half-hanging light fixture swings above us, casting that gross green tint on our skin. The wind outside is strong today, blowing it from side to side.

"Why are we doing this exactly? I know you're a glutton for punishment but this is another level,' Fabien whispers as if we didn't murder the entire staff here.

I stalk down the main hall, a part of the asylum I haven't seen before. "I made a promise to the dead. They need to know that it's truly over. Penny is gone and can't hurt them anymore."

As we make our way back to the wing we were kept in, my stomach knots. I breathe through my nose and count to ten, assuring myself that there's no need for flight or fight responses. We're safe. No one can hurt us here anymore.

Fabien white-knuckles the hilt of his knife. With his shoulders hunched, he flexes his forearms, mirroring my own tense muscles. "No offense, but I'm glad you got locked up in here. This place sucked a lot less once you arrived."

I can't help but chuckle. "I'm glad the three of you were here too. I don't think I'd survive by myself."

"Have you met you?" he teases. "We just distracted you from murdering everyone sooner. You would've been just fine, Libra Thorn."

A strange warmth fills me at his admission. It's an odd compliment but one I don't take lightly. But the atrocities we committed in here are nothing compared to the things we've done to each other.

I clasp his free hand in mine. "I would have found a way out of here on my own. But I'm happy I didn't have to. Fabien… I'm obsessed with you. Is that love?"

He slips his arm around my waist and pulls me to his chest. "It is for us. That's all that matters."

I press my lips to his and suck in a deep breath as our tongues collide. The sweetness of his mouth reminds me of lollipops. Moisture seeps out of my pussy, soaking my panties. I clench my thighs together as his kisses deepen.

He pulls back to gaze into my eyes. "I want to fuck you in the room I almost died in. To replace the memory of that fucked up night with a new one of you."

I nod. "Whatever you need."

We continue walking through the halls, relieved every time we turn a corner and no one is there to drag us back to our rooms. And the more we explore, the less my chest constricts with fear. The only unsavory element left is the smell of rotting corpses. But even without Dr. Hall or Gorman, this place still creeps me the fuck out. The walls here tell no lies. I feel every horrific thing that's taken place in my bones.

I will have to change all that.

After a few hours of roaming the different wings, my heart skips a beat when we enter the cafeteria and find Kitty, the Terror Twins, and Rowena sat at one of the tables.

Kitty doesn't scream when she sees us. She smiles. Thank fuck. Her voice is as shrill as a banshee's.

"What's going on creeps?" I tease as I approach their table. Fabien tosses the Terror Twins a bag full of lollipops.

They shriek with excitement and dive in without hesitating.

A bubble of laughter erupts from my throat. "It's a good thing ghosts can't get cavities."

Rowena beams back at me, sharing my elation. "You came back."

I nod. "I said I would… where's the doctor from hell?" I glance around, half-expecting her to lunge at me like a fucking deranged phantom.

Rowena motions toward the window. "In the courtyard. She doesn't come inside. A part of her still thinks she's getting out of here."

I snicker. "Hmm, I wonder what that feels like?" A taste of her own fucking medicine. I love full-circle moments.

Fabien tenses as he points his knife toward the buffet of slop. I follow his gaze to find a pale-faced Cook gawking back at us as if we were ghosts ourselves. He throws his hands up, his fingers trembling. "Pl-please. Don't kill me."

I sigh. "If we wanted you dead, we would've killed you that night. Relax. Although, this slop you are still serving makes me second guess my decision."

Fabien laughs and puts the knife down. "Seriously, bro. It's fucking disgusting."

He shrugs. "They didn't give me many ingredients to work with."

A new sense of purpose hits me like a ton of bricks as I hang off his last sentence. Holy fuck. Chills race up the back of my arms. I spin in a circle and look around the room with fresh eyes. I take note of the chipped paint, the rusty tables, and broken light fixtures.

"You okay, Lib?" Fabien asks, his brows pinched.

I can't stop the grin from taking over my face. "I'm going to buy Absentia Asylum."

His mouth drops open. "Um, what?"

The more I thought about my trust fund, money I didn't actually earn, the sicker it made me. I only accepted it because it made Aries happy. But now I know what I can do with it that will make an actual difference.

Rowena claps her hands together in delight. "What will it become?"

Goosebumps pebble my flesh. "A rehabilitation center for those who need to heal their minds and bodies. I'll renovate the whole place and hire real doctors. There will be a spa and a state of the art fitness center. Healthy food. No more restraints on the beds, no more drugs, and no more monsters."

Fabien grins back at me. " Saint Libra ," he teases. "This looks good on you."

I snort-laugh again. "Don't get carried away now."

We say our goodbyes again, this time with the promise of hope and rebirth.

Before we leave, Fabien leads me to the infirmary. The one he fought for his life in when they were first brought in here after the night of the Winter Solstice.

The bed sheets are still stained with blood despite the smell of bleach and chlorine that hangs in the air. His grip tightens on my arm.

I lead him over to a metal chair, the cleanest one I can find, and nudge him to sit. "You're safe now. You're in control."

He gazes up at me with haunted eyes. But his lust chases away the shadows. "Take off your pants."

My breath hitches as I take off my boots and jeans. A sheen of sweat beads across his forehead as he grips the arms of the chair.

"You're in control," I repeat.

He slides his hands over my hips, fingering the hem of my lace panties. "Off."

I nod and push my panties down. The heat in my core rises as I stand between his legs.

"Now take my cock out and sit down on it."

My fingers shake with anticipation as I unzip his pants and free his cock. My belly flutters when I see my name etched into his shaft. I run my fingers over it. "It healed nicely."

" Sit ," he orders, his voice gruff.

"Yes, sir." I straddle him and line up the tip of his cock to my entrance. Fuck, I'm already so wet.

He peels back the lips of my pussy as I inch down his shaft. We both gasp as he fills me. I stretch around him like a rubber band, clenching and releasing until I'm sitting all the way down and I can feel him in my stomach.

" Uhhh ,' I whimper. "Tell me what you want."

He digs his fingers into my thighs. "Fuck this place out of me, doll face. Fuck me hard and fast."

I grab the back of his chair for leverage and pull up, tingling as his veiny ridges rub against my swollen flesh. "You're in control," I whisper as I slam back down.

He lets out a deep moan. "Yeah, just like that."

I rotate my hips, twisting and turning on his engorged cock as I ride him. Pressure builds in my core with each thrust. "Look around the room, Fabien. This isn't your nightmare anymore."

He grunts and pulls me down hard again before I'm halfway up. But he does as I say and takes in the view around him—the bloody sheets, the chipped walls, the restraints that hang from each of the beds. He takes a deep breath and lets the stench of chemicals fill his chest.

"Who's in control?" I roll my hips, grinding my pussy against his abdomen.

"Fuck… I am," he whispers.

I clench my pussy tight around his cock, stilling myself. "Louder, Fabien. Who is in fucking control?"

His cock twitches inside of me as his pre cum trickles out. He wraps his hand around my throat and screams in my face, "I am!" His voice is demonic, his eyes glazing with lust and the promises of all the vile things he wants to do to me.

I unclench and ride him harder, faster, and without restraint. "Good boy," I grit out. Fuck . A deep spasm cuts off my breath, threatening to shatter me into a million pieces.

I whimper as I claw at his back, fisting his shirt in my hands.

He stands us up and charges toward the wall. The breath leaves my lungs as he slams me up against it. "My filthy fucking whore," he drawls as he thrusts into me. "Cum with me right fucking now."

I gasp for air as his cock pierces me so deep I almost pass out. It triggers me. "Fuck… Fabien." Wave after wave of spasms crash through me as my cream squirts onto his cock.

" Ahh, fuck ." His cum soaks me, filling me to the brim as we grind against each other. "I'm in control," he moans.

"Yes," I murmur into his ear right before I take his lobe in my mouth. I suck it hard as we ride out our orgasms in this room of fucking horrors.

Our brutality heals us. We mend the broken things like this. With vile and depraved acts of service to each other. I don't know how I've survived this long without them.

He sets me down and helps me dress before planting a soft kiss on my forehead. "Thank you."

I trace the edges of my name on his cock before putting it back inside his pants. "Your scars make you beautiful too. I'll kill anyone who tries to tell you different."

He grins wide. "My crazy little freak. You better stop or I'll fuck you in every room here. You know murder turns me on."

We laugh and swing our clasped hands as we walk down the hall to the front doors with no one to stop us this time.

Raithe pours me a second cup of coffee as I gaze down at the paperwork in front of me. Mordecai leans over my shoulder while Fabien sits across the table at our apartment in Raven's Gate. The one that Aries gifted me.

I stare at the words, Absentia Asylum transfer of sale to Libra Thorn. "I wonder how this place even came into existence," I murmur, not really asking a question that I think can be answered.

Mordecai rubs my back. "It's a place in the absentia mori."

I pinch the bridge of my nose, still exhausted from all that we endured "What does that mean, though?"

Fabien looks up from the plate of food he's devouring. It's been two months since we broke free, and they still eat like it's going to be their last meal. "It means to die in absence. No one comes to pay their respects. There are no flowers or eulogy. No ravens to guide you to the After. They just cease to exist. And then their souls are trapped there forever."

If that's the case, then at least it will be a place of rest and recovery now.

"What are you going to do with it?" Raithe asks.

Visions of warm lighting, five-star meals, and spa facilities fill me with excitement. "I'm going to make it better."

I think that my path was always destined to lead me here. For a purpose. And the thought of helping others feels good. I'm sick of only trying to help myself. My spoiled little princess days are over. Good fucking riddance .

"Still no word from your parents?" Mordecai asks.

I snicker. "I blocked their numbers. It's Aries's turn to deal with all that. I'm done." I can't hold on to that trauma forever. I won't let it define me. Their karma will catch up to them eventually.

"Good," Mordecai replies. "Now get your beautiful ass upstairs so we can play with our pet."

A spasm tingles through me, and my cheeks flush. Fucking hell, I can never get enough of them. I stand up and push down my yoga pants along with my panties. "You can play with me right here."

Raithe lifts me up and lays me on the dining room table just as Fabien swipes all the dishes out of the way to make room. As I lay back and let them devour me, my addiction to them grows.

We still don't know what the fuck we're doing or what the future holds, but we have each other. They finally let me buy them some clothes on the condition that they'll pay me back as soon as they find work. But for now, we are still processing what happened to us.

I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking Gorman is going to be leering over me. But my beautiful psychos are always there to comfort me. They make me feel safe even when we play our dangerous games.

We don't profess our undying love for each other every day. Words like that don't mean much to people like us. The promises we make to each other are with our bodies and our actions.

I'm not the girl I used to be in the slightest. I'm better. Stronger. Nicer . But I'm still trying to get to know the new me.

I think that I did die in absence. But then I was reborn. I rose from the ashes of ravens and gin and fucking cyanide. All I have to be now, all I want to be , is Raithe's whore, Mordecai's pet, and Fabien's little freak.

Everyone else can fuck off and go to hell for all I care.

I'm still Libra fucking Thorn, bitches.

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