Chapter 20

If my brother Aries could see me now, he'd be terrified. I'm a monster. A murderous, rage-filled beast. It's this place. It's everything. All the pain. The trauma. The fucked up memories I have to live with every day. The way I try to cover it up with designer clothes and makeup. The countless times I washed it all down with drugs and booze and poison. I'm a hot fucking mess. Being here brings every fucked up thing to the surface. But with each one I murder, the stronger I feel. The more alive I fucking feel.

It take us less than ten minutes to take out the two guards in front of Dr. Hall's office and for Raithe to break down the door. He pushes hard against it, clearing away all the debris she stacked up on the other side.

I walk in first, the bloody knife in my hand. Dr. Hall cowers behind her desk. "Take whatever you want and go," she pleads. "Please, just don't hurt me."

If she was innocent, I would let her go. But she's the guiltiest one. I thrust my knife into the top of her desk and lean forward, leaving bloody handprints on the wood. "Say my fucking name."

"Li-Libra Thorn." Her lips quiver.

I draw in a deep breath. "See, that wasn't so hard. How long have I been here?"

She starts to cry. "We were told to keep you in a coma for six months. I don't know why."

Fucking hell. "Six fucking months?" I yell. I wonder how many times Gorman and his creepy little crew touched me while I was unconscious. I shudder at the thought. Six months… no wonder I was so out of it when I woke up.

She flinches at my tone. "I just do what I'm told."

"Who the fuck told you to keep me here? Are you even a real doctor?" My blood is boiling. I'm ninety-nine percent sure I know who, but I want to hear it from her trembling lips.

Dr. Hall backs up against the wall as if, by some miracle, it will open up and let her out. "I used to be a doctor until I lost my license. Ms. Blackwell gave me another chance. All I have to do is keep the ones she wants here."

I slam my hands on the desk, making her jump. "And you let your orderlies do vile and disgusting things to us. How do you fucking sleep at night?"

She looks away. "I don't know anything about that."

"Bullshit!" I yell. "You keep us here against our will. People have died in here. Innocent people who didn't do anything except piss off the wrong people. You should be ashamed of yourself."

She whimpers. "I-I'm not proud of it. But it's all I know. I need… the poison. Please, understand."

I snicker. "So you're a junkie. Great. Not only are you not a licensed doctor, but you're a poison addict in charge of an entire asylum full of people. You help bad people do bad things. You will not get my pity."

Dr. Hall hangs her head. "You're going to kill me, aren't you?"

I snicker. "I'll let your ghosts decide your fate. Your orderlies are all dead. We're taking all of your supplies. The dead don't need them."

" Leave the lollipops ," the Terror Twins whisper in unison as they materialize into the room.

Dr. Hall's eyes widen. "Do not leave me here alone with—"

Kitty appears, cutting her off with a bloodcurdling scream just inches from her face, her mouth contorted like an evil mask.

The doctor shakes as she sobs. "No. I'm sorry. Please ."

My fury builds again as she begs for her pathetic life. "You don't deserve my mercy. You're worse than Gorman because you turned your head when you knew what he was doing to us."

"Just kill me then," she pleads.

I smile. "Of course, I'm going to kill you. With the one thing you love the most. Poison. Do you know that people who are poisoned don't cross over to the other side?"

She chokes on her sobs, shaking her head in protest.

I snicker. "Like I said, the ghosts will decide your fate. You'll be trapped in here forever with them."

On cue, Raithe and Fabien rush forward and grab her arms and legs. She screams and flails as they slam her down on the desk. Mordecai pries her mouth open.

I glare down at her. "Such strange and beautiful irony, isn't it? I'm in control now. And you are going to die a really painful fucking death."

Her eyes bulge when I pour the first vial of nightshade down her throat. Mordecai pinches her nose and clamps down her mouth until she swallows it. One will be enough to kill her, but two will make her heart explode first, and I'm out for fucking blood tonight.

Her face pales and contorts as I pour the second vial into her mouth. Her body jerks, and her irises turn white. Her mousey-brown hair turns a shade to match.

"Shhh, relax, little Doe," I whisper.

Her body convulses, white foam spraying from her mouth. I watch, mesmerized, as she dies and decays right in front of us.

Now there is no more pain. No more deviancy. No more monsters. No more Dr. Hall.

A light tingle flutters through my body. A release. Tears of joy stream out.

Mordecai, Fabien, and Raithe surround me. They let me cry in silence. They all do—the Terror Twins, Kitty, and Rowena, amongst others who I hadn't encountered before. All these women who perished here. Who had unspeakable things done to them.

"Redemption," I murmur.

Mordecai nods. "And now… revenge ."

Fabien arches an eyebrow. "Penny Blackwell?"

I nod. "Yes. But I need to go to Tenebrose first. Maureen and I need to have a chat."

Raithe retrieves my knife out of the desk and cleans it off before handing it back to me. "Is this going to be a friendly chat or a deadly one?"

I shudder. "That depends on Riot, Atlas, and Valentin. But they need to know the truth. That the three of you did not betray them to Zeke."

We spend the rest of the night cleaning out the asylum and packing up all the poison and Blackwell gin we can find. We leave the lollipops .

Thinking of Tenebrose Academy, my palms sweat, and my stomach turns . Six fucking months in here. They all must think I'm dead by now. I know Maureen will be happy to see me, but Riot is another fucking story. He's so self-righteous. So stubborn. But I need to convince them of the truth. And I need to keep my guys and Maureen's from killing each other. She's the closest thing I've ever had to a best friend—her and Villette. It will break my heart if we don't get past this.

Rowena leads us to the service entrance. We say our goodbyes, and I vow to come back someday to check in on her.

I almost start crying again when we step outside, and the fresh air hits my lungs.

Freedom . A precious construct that I took for granted.

But was I ever really free before Absentia Asylum? Or was I trapped in a luxurious prison crafted by my own family? Where the barred windows of my cell replaced my bedroom back in Ever Graves. The orderlies took the place of my father's guards. And the sedatives were just medicinal-grade versions of whiskey and cocaine.

I will not claim the poor little rich girl narrative, even now. But I have to be honest with myself. I have to come to terms with the fact that all that money couldn't protect me from the terrors in the dark. In fact, my father's money and status made it easier for the monsters to get in. My legacy is poison. And it's left so much blood on my hands.

But Penny Blackwell will soon learn that she fucked up thinking she could make me disappear. I'm no one to fuck with.

I'm Libra fucking Thorn.

I can't help but chuckle.

The guys look at me, waiting to be let in on the joke. I glance around the parking lot full of hearses. "Looks like we're riding back to Tenebrose the way we came in."

Raithe and Fabien burst out laughing.

"With coffins full of poison and gin. How fitting," Mordecai adds with a smirk.

The streets of Raven's Gate are covered in leaves—brown, gold, and green. The air is crisp, and whispers of All Hallow's Eve carry in between the wisps of wind. I hang my head out the window of the hearse and drink it in with every breath. I've missed so much…

My cell phone sits dead in my lap. But I'm in no hurry to get it charged. The second it lights up, I have to let the whole world back in. And I'm not ready. I tuck it back into the garbage bag with the rest of my belongings. Fabien spotted it when they were loading up the poison and gin from the supply room. Luckily, the diamond bracelet Aries gave me was still in there. I put it back on as soon as I saw it. It's the only tether I still have left to my twin.

I miss his face, his laugh, and how looking into his eyes is like looking into a mirror. He's the boy version of me. My twisted other half. I can only imagine the destruction he's caused in my absence. I'm the only one who can ground him. If he thinks I'm dead, he'll have no reason to keep his demons in check. I twist the bracelet around my wrist, wondering if he can feel me from wherever he is.

"Do you hate us?" Mordecai grumbles as he drives. It's odd seeing him—all three of them—outside the asylum. They were my monsters. And yet, somehow, they saved me.

"No. I never did. You still hate me?" I still don't know where I stand with them. We fought side by side, but we were desperate to get out of there. Now that we're free, what reason do they have to stay with me?

Mordecai shakes his head. "No. I hate what they've made us."

The familiar path through the woods that leads from Absentia Asylum to the center of Raven's Gate has me on edge as much as it comforts me. We are from the same world but on two separate sides of it. Under the light of the moon, those differences and challenges become more apparent. They might not hate me anymore, but I can't imagine them wanting anything further to do with me. I'll always be that spoiled little rich girl in their eyes.

"Pull over at Angel's Trumpet. I need a drink." I look like hell, and for the first time in my life, I don't give a fuck.

"We're still covered in blood, baby girl," Fabien drawls.

I shrug. Angel's Trumpet is a dive bar—the town shithole. "They've seen worse there."

Raithe chuckles from the seat behind me. "Already feeling more like your old self, are you?"

If he's referring to the fact that I spent most of my life acting as if I was far superior to others, then he's severely mistaken if he thinks I'm slipping back into that.

I whip around in my seat so I can look at them both. "I'll never feel like who I used to be ever again. I just don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of me anymore. Blood or not."

That shuts them up.

Fuck. I'm exhausted and starving for food that isn't mushy and flavorless. Bile rises in my throat just thinking about that slop they made us eat. I take a deep breath through my nose and try to calm my sour stomach.

Mordecai looks at me for the first time since we hit the road. "Nothing a little whiskey and a cheeseburger can't cure."

I nod. I'm craving a hot shower, too, but not before I've devoured my weight in French fries and alcohol. "Exactly," I mutter.

He parks the hearse on the side street next to the bar. It must be a weeknight because I don't spot the usual crowd of bikers mixed with college kids spilling out onto the sidewalk. I let out a sigh of relief. The quieter, the better.

But my stomach is in knots. And not just from hunger. We made promises and declarations back in the asylum. Admonitions made under stress and the need for survival. I can't help but wonder if they regret making them now that I have targets on my back.

"What's on your mind, little freak?" Mordecai kills the engine and leans against the driver's door.

I white-knuckle the garbage bag in my lap. "I-I don't want any of you to feel obligated to me. You don't owe my family anything. I'm grateful you helped me get out… but this isn't your fight. You're free. I'll understand if you want to walk away."

The three of them exchange long, lingering looks for what feels like forever. Finally, Raithe lets out a grunt as he squeezes my shoulder. "We're not going anywhere without you, doll face."

Fabien chuckles. "Yeah, you're fucked, Libra. You're stuck with us."

My belly flutters as tingles sweep through my core. I swallow hard as I look up at Mordecai. His dark brown eyes are haunting, sharp, piercing through me like fire to my ice.

He reaches for my hand, and I give it to him. "You're not alone anymore, Lib. You're ours. Mine . Whether you like it or not… there is no getting rid of us."

I choke back tears. When did I get so fucking soppy? Fuck. "I like it," I murmur.

Our entrance into the bar causes a stir of whispers and sideways glances for about sixty seconds. Then just as I expected, the riff-raff of Angel's Trumpet go back to minding their own fucking business.

The four of us slide into a corner booth away from curious gazes. I sink back into the cracked vinyl, grateful. Relieved. Safe . For now, anyway. We have a lot to unpack. A lot to work out. It wasn't that long ago that they wanted to punish me for the sins of my father and Nocturnus. Every time I look at their scars, I'm sickened that all of this happened because of me.

Raithe lost a fucking eye because of the choices I made.

My stomach growls as I glance over the menu. I order a double cheeseburger with fries and a double shot of whiskey.

The three of them stare at the menu, their gazes blank.

"Can't decide?" the server asks them. She taps her pen against her notepad.

I realize that the three of them were trapped in the asylum much longer than me. A fact I neglected to remember in the throes of my ravenous hunger.

"Give us a few more minutes," I order. I wince as soon as I hear my own tone. Regardless of the change in me, I've lived a life of privilege since the day I was born. It's going to take some time before I stop bossing people around.

Fabien licks his cracked lips. "I don't remember what I like to eat. Isn't that fucked up?"

My heart sinks. "Maybe try something you've never had then," I nudge.

Raithe leans back and sighs. "How are we paying for this?"

I hold up my new garbage bag purse. "My wallet is miraculously still in here with all the cash I had the night I was taken." I don't mention the rolled-up hundred-dollar bill that's in there, still dusted with cocaine.

Mordecai presses his shoulders back against the vinyl. "We'll pay you back."

I wave him off. "It's my father's money, not mine. Let him fucking pay for our first meal. It's the least he can do."

That seems to put them more at ease. The server comes back, and they each order the same thing as me.

Other than the whimpering sounds we make as we devour our burgers and fries, we eat mostly in silence. Every bite tastes like heaven. I feel my strength returning, my resolve to reenter society again. I feel less like a lab rat and more human with each second that ticks by.

After we scarf everything down, I ask for a piece of chocolate cake and the check. Sweet treats for violent deeds.

"We need showers and a good night's sleep before we deal with Nocturnus and your friend Maureen," Mordecai states, his voice raspy from the whiskey.

I nod as I shovel another massive bite of cake into my eager mouth. They watch me, waiting for me to swallow it down. In the asylum, the energy was chaotic. I didn't realize how attentive they are until now in this new environment.

"My brother, Aries, has an apartment here in town. He only stays in it when he comes to visit me… It will be empty. We can stay there tonight." Aries has no reason to come to Raven's Gate since he thinks I'm dead.

We all agree, and the guys head outside as I hang back to finish paying the check. I slip the rolled-up hundred-dollar bill into the server's hand. "Don't tell anyone I was here."