Chapter 11
There's something a bit satisfying about having my skin marked by them. I'm not your perfect little girl anymore.
A tingle shoots through my core as I finger his name on my thigh. Raithe is a fucking man . He took what he wanted from me like it was owed to him. And I loved it. None of the guys at Tenebrose know what to do with me. They fuck like jackrabbits and slop all over my pussy like puppy dogs. My vibrator used to make me cum harder.
But ever since I got here … fucking hell. If I had known, I would've given them the time of day back then. Shit, I would've given them all the time in the world. It serves me right for being such a shallow bitch. It's pathetic that I finally find three men who can handle my pussy, and they fucking hate me. And we're all stuck here together in the devil's asshole.
When I find out who locked me up… when I get out of here, and I will get out , whoever did this better run like hell.
I don't see the guys this morning as I make my way to the cafeteria. In fact, I don't see anyone. The halls are eerily quiet, with a permanent green tint from the fluorescent lighting. But despite the empty corridors, it feels like someone is watching me, following me with every step. It sends goose pimples across my skin.
I'm no stranger to sinister things. Tenebrose Academy has its share of shadows and dark entities. But it was the devil I knew. The ravens, Nocturnus, the ghost of Jessamine—all things I'm used to. Absentia Asylum is different. The air is thick here, heavy. It threatens to suffocate me as if the actual walls are crying and aching for release.
I pick up my pace as dark thoughts and scenarios start to mess with my mind. It's easy to get lost in here. And even easier to go mad. I can't let myself succumb. I need to stay sharp so I can get the fuck out.
I pass the window, looking out to the courtyard, and pause for a second to see the two Terror Twins laughing on the swings. Those psycho little demon brats . But I can't help but wonder how they died. How they ended up here…
A cold draft flutters past me, chilling my bones. I spin around and gasp as a waif-like girl stretches her mouth open and screams in my face.
"Fuck!" I lurch back and press against the window.
Her mouth twists into a sadistic smile. "You hear me now, don't you?"
I nod, my mouth dry. "The whole fucking asylum heard you," I mutter.
The girl wears an old hospital gown, and her bare feet are bruised. "No." She charges toward me so fast I don't have time to dodge her.
I hold my breath and cover my ears as she unleashes another mind-numbing scream. Fuck.
"Who-who did this to you?" I pant.
Her smile fades. "I don't remember."
I nod. "Well, that's shit luck. I'm sorry. But if you scream like that again, you're going to give me a fucking heart attack."
She giggles as if the thought of me keeling over is the most delightful thing she's ever imagined. "Meow."
I don't even know how to respond to that. Please just go away so I can carry on with my shit day in peace.
"Usually, you have to scream back to get her to calm down."
"What?" I turn to see Mordecai leaning against the wall. When I turn back, the little ghost girl is gone.
"We call her Kitty for obvious reasons. No one knows her real name. Not even her. She's been in here a very long time."
He crosses the hall to me, and every inch of my body bristles with electricity, alive with need and craving for his proximity.
"Any other psycho spirits I should be aware of?" I huff. Fuck, his lips are so soft looking. I just want to suck and nibble on them.
"Like I'm going to tell you . Have you forgotten how much we hate you? Or are you so full of yourself that you can't fathom anyone not kissing the ground you walk on?" He inches closer, and my heart races.
My cheeks flush and burn as I notice the way his muscles flex and constrict with each step he takes toward me. The way his eyes glaze when they meet mine. He can hate me all he wants, but he can't deny the tension between us is laced with hunger.
I blow out a deep breath. "Fine. Fuck off then."
As I turn to storm off, he grabs me by the arm and nudges me back against the wall. "Don't walk away from me."
My chest heaves, and my nipples pebble as he glares down at me. "Or what? What are you going to do, Mordecai? Your empty threats are starting to bore me."
He snarls, revealing his metal grill. Somehow the more unhinged he looks, the hotter he becomes. He wraps a hand around my throat. "This."
I gasp as he squeezes harder, restricting the airflow to my lungs. I claw at his hand. The more I struggle, the darker his eyes get, and the wider his sadistic grin turns up the corners of his mouth.
"What was that? I can't hear you. Still bored?" he growls.
Stars blur my vision. Fuck, he's going to kill me. I drag my nails down his arms, scratching him as hard as I can with what little life I have left in me. He snickers as he lets go of my throat and pins my arms up above my head.
I pant for breath, my lungs burning as fresh oxygen fills them. I blink my eyes a few times to clear the dizziness.
Mordecai presses his body against mine. "Now you know that your life is in my hands. I can end it whenever the fuck I want to."
My nipples harden against his chest, aroused by the heat between us. "Then why haven't you?" I shouldn't taunt him again, but I'm addicted to seeing him unravel. Hate is a powerful emotion but so is lust. As much as he denies he doesn't want me, the more I can see that he does.
His grip on my wrists tightens. He nuzzles my neck, sniffing me out like a bloodhound. I try not to whimper when his lips brush my cheek as he makes his way to my ear. He whispers, "Because I love the thrill of the chase, princess. I live to terrorize you until you feel nothing but misery."
I shudder as his warm breath tickles my ear. "I don't believe you… I think you're obsessed with me."
His cock twitches against my thigh. "Be careful, Lib… You have no idea who I am. The sick perverse things I'm into. If you try to seduce a monster, you might just become one yourself."
Fucking hell. If he's trying to scare me off, it's having the opposite effect. I arch my hips into his. "Maybe we're not as different as you think."
He looks down between us, fixated on the way our hips fit together. His throat bobs as he licks his lips, his resolve fading. His hunger growing . "Don't tempt the devil unless you're ready to surrender your soul to him."
My breath quickens, and my clit tingles. I want to drown in this man's darkness. "Who says the devil is a he ? Maybe I'm the one collecting souls."
He takes my earlobe between his teeth. I wince as it's still tender from the last time he bit it. "One night with me, and you'll run screaming for your life. You'll beg me for mercy ."
I shudder as another spasm rolls through my pussy. Moisture leaks out onto my panties. There's something seriously wrong with me because I want him to keep biting me. To draw blood. I will let him do anything he wants to me. Even if it kills me in the end.
"I won't," I rasp. "I'll be a good girl."
He snickers. "But I don't want you. Remember? Worry less about my cock and more about my hands around your throat."
Liar.
"Can't I have both?" I tease. I have to break him. It's the only way I'm ever getting out of here.
He bites down on my cheek, firm enough to send a warning, but not hard enough to break the skin. "Mmm…"
I gasp as his tongue lashes out. He massages it against his teeth marks. Fuck. I let out a moan as he makes out with my cheek. Everything this man does is carnal and erotic but also dangerous as fuck.
I whimper when he stops.
His eyes darken again. "I don't want Nocturnus pussy. You disgust me. Literally, the sight of you makes me sick. So stop trying to fuck me. It's not going to happen."
A well of rage and shame billows up inside me, and I wrench free from his grip. He smirks, satisfied that he's bruised my ego. But he has no fucking idea. My lip trembles as I fight the tears back. I refuse to cry in this place. Not in front of him, especially.
"I was never Nocturnus. Just another pawn for them to play with… To use." I shrug, exhausted from trying to convince him I had nothing to do with their sigils getting stripped. "If you want to blame me for the acts of three power-hungry psychos, then that's your business. But I wasn't even there that night."
He folds his arms to his chest, pouting. "I saw the way you grew up, Libra. The way you treated everyone else. Don't try and downplay your importance to them. I'm not a fucking idiot."
Maybe you are.
I nod. "Fair enough. But let me ask you this… where are my sigils then? Hmm? Why was I forced to strip naked and take a lashing in front of a bunch of Nocturnus initiates? Why did he let them touch—" I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "I had my own battles with them. But I've made my peace with it. You should too. Because killing me isn't going to hurt them. They don't give one fucking rat's ass about me."
I can't tell if he's in shock or disbelief, but his gaze softens, and he uncrosses his arms. "Who fucking touched you?" With all the tension between us, I can't be sure, but I swear there's a hint of possessiveness in his voice. It's strange and unnatural and makes me sad because I don't want to trust it. No man I've ever been with has wanted to protect me or stand up for me. So I do it for myself. Always have.
I shake my head. "It doesn't matter. They're all dead now. All of them except for you, Raithe, and Fabien. Fuck. I just can't shake that fucking cult, can I?" My snicker turns to a chuckle as I fight the urge to let it bubble over into a fit of hysteria.
"You went to all their parties, laughed at their jokes, and ran all their errands. You expect me to believe that you hate them as much as I do?" He crosses his arms again, folding them to his chest like armor.
I'm so over this conversation. "I never said I hated them. Just that they didn't treat me with any more respect than you. Probably less, actually. You don't understand the families we come from. The pressure and expectation that we have to endure. I had a reputation to uphold. Deep down, I didn't want to go to those parties any more than you wanted to."
He shakes his head. "Poor little rich girl."
"Fuck off, Mordecai. For real this time. Believe me, don't believe me. I don't fucking care. I don't have to prove anything to you. But while you waste your time crying over the past, I'll be looking for a way out of his place."
I stomp off, in the opposite direction, still in search of the cafeteria, with him quick on my heels.
He grabs me again and drags me into a small room. It's dark, but I can tell it's a storage closet.
I take a swing and land a punch on his chest. "Let me go."
Unfazed, he pins me to the door, boxing me in with his hands on either side of me. "I told you not to walk away from me," he rasps.
I shove him back. "Well, then, what the hell do you want from me? Do something or leave me alone," I yell in his face.
The look in his eyes is unhinged. "Tell me who fucking touched you."
I'm more confused by this man than ever. He says he hates me and thinks I'm repulsive, but every time I try to get away from him, he pulls me back. What the fuck?
"I told you. They're dead. Just leave it alone."
He runs his thumb across my lip. "Give me their names."
I shudder as his breath tickles my cheek. "Why?"
"So I can drag them back from hell and kill them again." He rests his forehead against my temple.
I shove against him, but he holds me in place. "I don't understand you, Mordecai. Why do you care? You hate me."
He bites down on my ear, the same one that he punctured before. "Because you're my little freak. Mine to hate. To humiliate." He sucks my lobe and moans when he tastes my blood. "Mine to taunt and torture. Mine ."
I swallow hard, my heart racing. " Then touch me ," I beg.
He stills against me, his breath hitched. "I… No ."
If he doesn't kill me, I might just kill him. "Then let me go," I grit out.
He sucks in a deep breath and backs up. "Go. Before I hurt you."
I shake my head and snicker as I wrench open the closet door. "Right. Empty. Fucking. Threats."
Every cell in my body burns with rage and pent-up sexual frustration. The three of them will drive me mad if I don't get the fuck out. But how can I stay away from them when I'm addicted to their sick games?
I pass a few snickering orderlies before finally finding the cafeteria. They don't bother me, which is because of Raithe, Fabien, and Mordecai, but I hope they don't expect me to be grateful. I'm sure they'll turn me over to those creeps as soon as they grow bored of me. I know how it works. I'm a woman. It doesn't matter how rich or pretty I am; men always lose interest. I learned that early on from my father.
My stomach grumbles when I enter. I grab a tray and fight down the bile as I get a good look at what they're serving—watery mashed potatoes, hard bread rolls, and green beans that for sure came out of a can. Fuck, I'd give my right nipple to have a steak and martini from Swallow right now. Tenebrose Academy's campus restaurant had the best fucking burgers too. My mouth waters thinking about it.
I sigh and let Cook load me up with today's slop. "Enjoying your stay here, Miss Doe?"
Fucking Jane Doe bullshit again. "My stay? What is this, the Four Seasons? No, I'm not enjoying being forced here against my will."
He looks down. "Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."
"Well, you did," I huff out. It's not his fault, but he works here. For me, that makes him an enemy.
I look around the empty room and wonder where the rest of the patients are. "Where is everybody?"
Cook arches an eyebrow at me. "What do you mean?"
I sigh again. "The crazy people. Where are they?"
"We don't call people crazy in here, Miss Doe."
I snicker. "You know what I mean. Is no one else eating lunch today?"
He shakes his head. "I guess they're not hungry."
Nothing here makes sense. "Yeah, well, I don't blame them. No offense, but the menu isn't the most appetizing."
"I do what I can."
I wave him off and head to the farthest table away from his gross slop buffet. As I try to eat, I indulge in a little revenge fantasy where I force-feed this down the throat of the person who put me here. The faceless bastard .
My mind wanders back to Mordecai. I don't fucking get him. He says he hates me, but his actions don't match up. He was just as turned on as I was in that storage closet. And he seemed to care way too much about who touched me that day at Nocturnus. It was almost like he was jealous or something. Which is so fucked up for a million other reasons.
My stomach does a little somersault when I remember how he called me his . It was fucked up and depraved, but it sparked some kind of attachment in me. Something I've never felt before.
I remember seeing him around Tenebrose last year. He kept to himself and never made eye contact with me. And I have a faded memory of seeing him, Raithe, and Fabien back in the poison fields. I didn't go out there often. Only when my father wanted to parade me around in front of potential investors. I didn't pay attention to the workers. A twinge of shame creeps into my chest. I'm not the nicest person. I'm sure I treated them poorly. But it's not because I thought I was better than them. I just don't get close to people. It's easier that way. No disappointment.
As I sit here by myself in the eerie silence underneath these god-awful fluorescent lights, I'm feeling lonelier than ever. I can't distract myself with my usual tactics here. There are no drugs, no booze, and no endless array of vapid socialites to waste my time with idle small talk. It's just me and this room.
I choke back a sob as I put away my tray and sulk out. But with each step I take back to my room, my self-pity transforms. Anger pulses through my veins. A fury that threatens to consume me if I don't let it out. And I know just who I want to take it out on.
Mordecai.