20. Henry

CHAPTER TWENTY

henry

Walking into the shelter with Felix, I feel a wave of panic come over me. A place like this was my home not that long ago. I spent so many nights in a shelter like this, holding Hazel to my chest and hoping for a little quiet.

Felix threads his fingers through mine and gives me a gentle squeeze, pulling me back to the present. I look at him gratefully as I hold Hazel to my side. “Sorry. Memories.”

“You’re a success story, Henry. It’s good for them to meet you.”

I want to laugh at that, except I know that won’t go over well with Felix, so I give a quick nod and let him lead me through the shelter, meeting all sorts of people. My heart aches when we meet a single mother with two young children.

I want more than anything to move out of Ben’s apartment and offer it to her or maybe share it with them. I don’t know, something. But Felix and I move to the back to help prepare food.

I’m still thinking about the young mother, and it doesn’t surprise me when Felix calls me on it. “She has a meeting today with her social worker. Hopefully, they can find them a more permanent place. There are a lot of programs out there to help.”

They run out though.

I try my best not to be cynical, and then Felix presses a sweet kiss to my lips, sending that hot tingly, safe feeling through me. He smiles at me and then makes a goofy face at Hazel, causing her to laugh.

“They’ll be okay.”

I nod my head but then hear an unsure voice from behind us. “Uh . . . Felix?”

Felix looks behind me, his smile growing even more as he starts toward the voice. “Evan. You’re here. I was hoping you would be.”

I turn around and see the scrawny kid he called Evan, just as Felix wraps his arms around him in a brief hug. The kid looks tense and nervous, his eyes shifting from Felix to me to Hazel, then back to Felix. “Is he your boyfriend?”

I stiffen at that because we haven’t discussed labels, and in that moment, I desperately want him to confirm that. Even to this kid I don’t know yet. Felix only smiles at me and then looks back at Evan. “This is Henry and his daughter, Hazel.”

Evan gives me a cockeyed grin, like he knows something I don’t, and maybe he does. The truth is I don’t feel disappointment at Felix not saying the word boyfriend because there was something special about the way he said my name and Hazel’s.

“Hi, Evan. It’s nice to meet you,” I say, and he gives me a cautious nod. I notice his clothes are worn, with holes in some places, like they’ve been washed many times. He’s small for his age, and there’s a bruise on his forearm which instantly worries the hell out of me.

A cold sweat forms over my body, knowing this kid is definitely in trouble, just from looking at him. Hell, I was this kid.

And Maggie.

“How have you been?” Felix asks. The kid just shrugs.

“I’m okay.”

The bruise says otherwise, but I keep my mouth shut.

“Have you thought about calling Andrew? He can help you.”

Evan takes a step back, like he’s preparing to run, and I tense up, feeling a desperate need to help him. But I was this kid, and I’d have run. Learned from a young age not to trust anyone.

“He’s really nice,” I blurt, and the kid’s eyes widen in my direction.

“I’m fine. I went home yesterday. Dad wasn’t there.” He’s talking to Felix, but I hate the way his words twist my stomach.

“Well, if he comes back, it could be bad. You have my number and Andrew’s. You can use it any time, okay?” My heart breaks for Felix because, as bad as I want to help this kid, I know it’s a hundred times more for Felix.

He feels everything deeply.

“I gotta go. I just wanted to say hi,” Evan says as he gives a hesitant little wave, and I tell him it was good to meet him before he makes his escape.

Looking defeated, Felix leans back against the kitchen wall. “I wish he’d let me help him.”

I walk closer to him with Hazel on my hip. “He will. You’re hard to say no to.”

He grins at my words and then leans forward, kissing me briefly before the nice woman who heads up volunteering comes into the kitchen, and I meet her too. We prepare lunch and serve it, sitting with some of the people and listening to their stories.

The day is a good one, but by the time we get back to his place to feed his cat, I’m tired and worn out. Hazel is absolutely obsessed with Felix’s cat’s white fluffy tail, but the cat is good with her and doesn’t slap at her or anything.

“Instant friends,” I say grinning, and Felix leaves some food and water out for his cat before joining Hazel and me in the living room.

I like his place. It feels warm and cozy, like Felix.

He shows me around. His bedroom feels and smells like him. His spare room has a futon and a desk. His kitchen is modern and clean like the rest of his home.

“If you want, I can make us some dinner here.” It’s our first time in his place, and he looks a little nervous when he asks. I place a hand on his waist and look into his eyes, wanting to tell him how I feel.

But feelings are dangerous.

I told Maggie I loved her I don’t know how many times, and she still left me. It was never enough. If I ever tell Felix, I need to be sure.

To be sure he won’t leave.

To be sure that’s the way I really feel.

Even if everything inside me is screaming that’s exactly how I feel.

“I’d love to stay here for dinner. Is there anything I can do to help?”

We move into the kitchen, and while he doesn’t let me help him, Hazel and I keep him company as he makes some pasta dish that smells delicious.

When we sit down at his kitchen table, Hazel on my lap, I bite into the food and discover it tastes just as good as it smells, letting out a low moan.

He looks at me with hunger from across the table, and I can’t help the smile that spreads on my face because this all feels so damn good. So right.

God, I want it to be true.