Chapter Thirty-One

C HAPTER T HIRTY-ONE

A gentle breeze sweeps through me, bringing on the scent of caramelised sugars – a nostalgic smell that takes me back to my childhood.

Strawberry pies that Idris would buy for me at the market whenever I behaved.

I have my eyes closed, the sun tickling my face as I run my hands through the long grass beside me. I turn on my side, carefully sitting up. I blink wide awake as if I have taken the longest nap in time and stretch my arms out, smiling wistfully as I spot my cottage up the hill.

Flowers bloom all around me, buttercups and white clover. I stand up, going onto my bare tiptoes, feel the soft white silk of my dress.

Inhaling the fresh air, I grin up at the sky and head back home, twirling along the way with the skirt of my dress billowing out below me like smoke.

As soon as I enter my cottage, I’m warmed by the cosy embrace of the crackling fireplace. Smoky notes mingle with the subtle hint of Illias’s paint pots and brushes – a scent that was strong enough to stick in anyone’s nostrils, but I always found them to be comforting.

A fumbling noise in the kitchen triggers my curiosity. I wonder if it is Idris already trying to cut a slice of pie for me, or if Iker is rummaging through the cupboards, scrounging for food that Idris has not touched or tried to cook himself.

My feet pad along the wooden floorboards, the antiquity of our home giving way under my weight as it creaks. I stand by the doorway of our small kitchen and frown, watching as long golden blond hair flows behind a tall and broad back. Calloused hands knead the pastry on the counter, and freshly washed strawberries gleam brightly from the sun at the other end near the unfixed cracked window.

As if he senses I am standing here, staring, the man turns.

My chest heaves with the shocked gasps of what I’m seeing. A gentle smile that I only remember now in memories and dreams appears in the flesh. Brown docile eyes meet mine – the same colour as Iker and Illias’s.

‘Father?’ I choke out.

He shakes his head. ‘Think again.’

I frown, my mind running circles from disbelief.

Images start to form. Blurry at first, but soon it’s all I can see.

The arena.

Aurum.

Darius and I before we . . .

I look up and whisper my realisation. ‘Solaris.’

He smiles, moving towards me, yet I can’t seem to unfreeze myself from this very spot.

I place a hand over my abdomen, feeling where Darius had stabbed me. ‘How—’

‘This is not my true form,’ Solaris says. ‘It is only what you wish to see. In this case, you chose your father.’

Short puffs of air release from my chest. I glance at the kitchen, then Solaris as my father. He looks exactly like the day I last saw him. He has let his beard grow – the kind that would scratch me when he kissed my cheeks and turn copper in the sun.

I press my lips together, forcing myself not to cry as I blink a few times. ‘And is he . . .’ I don’t dare try to finish the sentence, but Solaris reads me well.

Looking at me with that serene smile, he says, ‘He is well. Content among the stars, as is your mother.’

The thought relieves me more than I thought anything ever would.

Solaris jerks his head for me to follow him out of our cottage and into the fields of my once home. ‘I have waited centuries for this moment, Naralía,’ he says, turning to me. ‘The moment when you and I could finally speak.’

My eyes wander the lands, the unfurling grass and pathways that lead deep into the Screaming Forests. I wrap my arms around my body, breathing in the illusion of this place. ‘Is Darius—’

‘With Crello, yes,’ Solaris completes what I had thought would be the case. I glance at him. ‘But of course, you know that.’

I shrug, then remember I am not talking to my father. I am talking to a deity. ‘You and Crello sacrificed your lives to be together,’ I say softly. ‘So did I.’

‘And as did Darius.’

We stare at each other in silence, until he asks, ‘Did you think it was going to work?’

I cast my mind back to my last moments in the arena. Sacrificing our lives was never on the cards, until I remembered the Galgr. It was a shot in the darkness, and I believe even Solaris has to know that. ‘No,’ I answer truthfully, ‘but I believed in him.’

Solaris’s smile elicits a twinge in my heart. I clear my throat. ‘So, what now? Will I ever see my brothers again?’ Will I see Darius, Freya, Link and Rydan?

Solaris turns and starts walking again. ‘That is up to you.’ He stops to pick up a buttercup. ‘I’ve watched you all your life, Nara.’ He’s staring off into the distance, and it is such a strange sight to behold, knowing it isn’t really my father who is talking to me. ‘I have seen your highs and your lows, and I have understood you far better than most.’ When he turns to face me, he hands me the buttercup, his blue eyes digging fiercely into mine. ‘I am you.’

‘Then what am I to do?’ My words come out like a plea. I feel stuck, unsure of it all. ‘I do not want to let anyone down.’

‘And you won’t,’ he whispers, touching my shoulder. The touch is delicate, almost encouraging. ‘There is a reason why I picked you, Nara. You fight just as fiercely as you love.’

A million worries crash against my chest. I pick at the buttercup between my fingers until nothing is left but the stem and the sticky residue of honeydew. ‘What will happen if I choose to accept who I am?’

‘Then you will become the true immortal vessel you were meant to be.’

Immortal.

I’d no longer need to fear a future without Darius, but . . . my friends, my brothers. They will age, whereas I’ll remain unchanged. I’ll have to witness them grow old, perish and depart from this world, leaving me behind.

‘And if I don’t?’ I whisper.

‘You already know the answer to that.’

I meet Solaris’s gaze, finding a smile on his face, yet I can’t muster the strength to reciprocate. Instead, I redirect my attention to my cottage. Smoke gradually rises from the chimney, momentarily veiling the sky. Even so, the sun manages to pierce through it, casting a radiant glow upon my home.

‘I will let you decide,’ Solaris says after a moment, the sound of his boots crunching on the grass fading as he walks away from me.

I clench my eyes shut before whirling my head back around. ‘Wait!’ I wet my lips as Solaris pauses far away and turns. ‘I have one last request.’

Solaris tilts his head, a glimmer of understanding passing through his eyes as if he knows what that request is.

Without uttering a word, a soft glow emanates from his body, casting a golden light that dances around him. Slowly, it overtakes him until I can no longer see my father’s face as he gradually disappears, leaving behind a trail of stardust in the air.

‘Lía?’

My eyes widen.

Whirling around with my heart lodged in my throat, I’m met with the sight of my father standing by the front door of our cottage. He looks the same as Solaris did when the deity took his form, yet this time, it is different. Every instinct in me affirms that it’s truly him, and without a moment’s hesitation, I dash towards him.

My arms encircle the middle of his frame as I bury my face into his chest. The familiar scent of spices from our village’s market and the jasmine candles he would light yearly for my birthday envelop me, confirming that he is real – that my father is here with me right now.

He laughs, returning my embrace, reminding me of Iker’s laugh – short bursts of wheezing chuckles. ‘My Lía,’ he says.

I’m a mess as the flood of tears trails down my cheeks, and my father draws back, capturing my face with his large, calloused hands.

‘Look at you,’ he whispers, emotions betraying his usual deep voice. ‘You’re all grown up.’

I smile, feeling the sting of pain inside my chest as I cry. He looks the same, never changing. Built like Idris, long flowing curls like Iker and Illias and eyes like mine. He left, while we all had to grow up without him. ‘I’ve missed you so much.’

There’s a wistful sadness in the way he looks at me as he wipes a tear away from my cheek with his thumb. ‘I know,’ he says, confirming that he has been looking out for me all this time.

The idea of it has the ache in my chest intensify. ‘I suppose you never saw me falling for a dragon shifter.’ I chuckle, sniffling as I look up at my father.

He smiles. ‘I also never saw you falling for someone ordinary. Ever since you were a child, your mother and I would laugh whenever a boy from our village would come up and confess that they liked you. You’d usually scare them away some way or another.’

A sombre laugh escapes me as a distant rumble echoes around us. Glancing over my shoulder, my brows furrow before returning my gaze to my father.

His eyes carry a poignant sorrow, causing my stomach to plummet. ‘Time is running out.’ He takes a deep breath. ‘I think it is time we said goodbye.’

No.

I need more time. This isn’t enough.

I shake my head at him. ‘But I’m not ready.’

‘Yes, you are.’

‘No, I— I’m not. You know that I am indecisive. I can’t make the choice—’

‘Naralía.’

I had not noticed I wasn’t looking at my father as my head now lifts at the sound of him saying my full name. I see a different type of sadness in his gaze this time, almost as if it is bittersweet – perhaps he’s going over our memories together, the moments we will never get back.

I draw a desperate step towards him. ‘Stay.’

‘You know I cannot.’

The air turns cold, and from behind my father, I can no longer see my cottage.

In a last attempt to keep my father here, I latch on to him like a child, wrapping my hands around him and locking my fingers behind his back. ‘Don’t leave me.’ My voice breaks as the wind picks up, and I shut my eyes.

‘I never left you,’ he whispers. ‘I’ve always been there.’

I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t— ‘Then I’ll stay, I’ll stay here with you.’

‘But that isn’t what you truly want.’

A cry breaks from my chest as my shoulders shake in his embrace.

‘You already knew your decision from before, Lía,’ he says. ‘I am not part of it.’

I sob, holding on to him tightly. I don’t want to let go, and most of all, I don’t want to say goodbye again.

He kisses the top of my head. ‘I’m so proud of you.’

I shake my head, my mind wishing to stay here for at least five more minutes while my heart knows I can’t.

‘You can wake up now, Naralía,’ he whispers. ‘The world is waiting for you.’

A chill descends over my body, darkness wraps me in its embrace, and my eyes flutter open to the skies above as I gasp for air.