Chapter 17

What is going on?

Sophie did not want to keep being worried about George and whatever was happening to him, but she could not switch her brain off, however hard she tried. She could not seem to push him from her mind, and it was endlessly frustrating. Nothing could distract her, and she had been trying all morning long. Doing anything to stop herself from thinking… but nothing did.

She could not even begin to start reading the book that George had given to her the last time he saw her because all it did was remind her that he did not have time to carry on their adventures together. If Gregory was to be believed, that was, and that he could never commit to anything real and romantic, then how could she really give him any more of her time?

She so desperately wanted to lose herself in the adventures of a character on the ocean, but she could not when all she could worry about was George and what was happening with him.

Not when she did not know where the hero from her own story was… or more importantly, if he was even the hero that she was searching for.

"You have been staring out that window for quite a while," her mother commented, reminding Sophie that she was not currently alone in the drawing room. "Perhaps you would like to actually go outside since the weather is so nice."

Sophie sighed heavily. She did not want to be among the ton today. She was not in the mood for polite conversation. "I do not feel like socializing."

"Then why not take a walk around the gardens? Your grandparents have a lot of land with many glorious flowers to be examined."

Sophie knew that this was a hint. Her restless attitude must have been bothering her mother, and that was the last thing that she wanted to do. So she nodded and rose from her seat, agreeing to a walk. "Yes, I think you are right. I should explore the estate more."

As Sophie headed out into the warmth of the sunshine, she tried to let her spirits lift a little, but that simply was not happening. Never had she ever spent so much time worrying about another person. What did that mean? Was she already falling head over heels for this man who might not be able to commit to her? Her family wished to stay right where they were, in London. They had no plans to return to Sweden any time soon, so if he was planning on leaving…

Well, that was a consequence that she certainly needed to consider. Even if it made her heart sink to think about losing him.

"Lady Dashwood, you are my only friend in London, aside from Sebastian."

She could not forget those words, nor how she felt as he spoke them. That was the closest that they had ever been, and the happiest she could recall feeling.

"Grandfather, I did not expect to see you here!"

Sophie was surprised to find him, standing by a rose bed, looking wistfully at nothing in particular. He was a very busy man who often liked to fill every moment of his time with activity, so to see him like this had her a little worried. Not that she wanted to show that.

"Ah, dear Sophie, how are you?" her grandfather replied with a small smile. "I am terribly sorry, I was just looking at the roses and recalling all the times that I used to give your grandmother roses, when I was trying to woo her."

Sophie grinned as she joined him. "I am sure she was immediately swept off her feet by you."

"Oh no! Not at all. Your grandmother had a lot of interest in her. She has always been a very beautiful woman, and I was not the only gentleman to notice just how striking she was. I had to put in a lot of effort to ensure that I was the one on her mind all the time. Knowing how much she adored roses, far more than other flowers, I used to only get those for her."

That reminded Sophie of George and the book that he had purchased for her. It was a meaningful gift, which just showed how much he paid attention to their conversations and connections. That was what made it so special to Sophie. The fact that he had heard her out, and actually seemed to care about what she had to say.

"Are you worried about her?" Sophie reached across and rested her hand on top of her grandfather's, hoping to offer him some comfort in the midst of all that was happening.

"About your grandmother? Oh no," he insisted, although Sophie was not entirely convinced. He most certainly sounded worried about her. "She is a very strong woman. She will recover. Especially having her family here… I can see how much that has helped her. She has always wanted to be nearer to you, it was very hard for her while you were in Sweden."

"I missed you too," Sophie replied honestly. "I might not have known how much I missed you, but I did. I much prefer being in London, near you all the time."

As she said those words, it made Sophie realize just how truthful that was. She knew once her family got on that boat, they would not be returning to Sweden, but she had treated it more as an adventure at the time. But now it was real life, and that made it so much better. She really did want to be here forever, she felt like she belonged here.

"Well, it seems like you will be here all the time," her grandfather chuckled. "If you decide to wed one of the many men who is trying to woo you."

Sophie's smile faltered a little. "Yes, I suppose you are right."

He cocked his head curiously to one side. "Why do you seem unsure? It seems to me like you have as many options as your grandmother."

"But how can I be sure that I will pick someone as wonderful as you?"

Her grandfather chuckled. "Oh, Sophie, I do not doubt that you are capable of choosing the right man for you. You have a very smart head on your shoulders. I am sure if you dig deep, you already know who it is you are most drawn to."

Sophie felt her cheeks heat up as she bit down on her bottom lip. "I do not think I need to dig deep for that."

"And I am sure he is drawn to you as well. How could he not be? You are perfect."

Sophie giggled. "I do not know about that. I am not perfect, but I do hope that he likes me too."

"Is it the gentleman from the battleship?"

Since her parents already knew about this, she saw no reason to hide the truth. "Yes, it is. What do you think of him?"

"Oh, I already like him very much. I think he is a fine gentleman. But is his home not in Sweden?"

"Yes. He does live in Sweden, but he is still here, and he has been attending a lot of the society events. It has me wondering if he will ever return."

Although he did have his business there. He had only come for a visit, so maybe she was getting ahead of herself. Losing herself in the fantasy of him because it was what she so desperately wanted.

"It sounds to me, dear Sophie, that you need to have a talk with this gentleman, to find out where his heart lies too."

That was easier said than done, since she had no idea where he was…

She smiled gratefully at her grandfather, despite the worries currently coursing through her veins. "Thank you for your advice. It means a lot to me to hear you say that."

"When it comes to matters of the heart, you must trust yourself entirely."

With those words still ringing in her ears, Sophie headed back inside, hoping that she might be able to figure out what she should do next. She hoped that she could think more clearly now about everything. Knowing that her family liked George, and that they were not swayed by rumors most certainly made it easier for her to feel the same way. Her mother and father had always been god judges of characters, which is why she typically followed their lead.

"Lady Dashwood…" But the footman caught her attention before she got all the way inside. "There is a package for you."

Surprised, she took the parcel and retreated to her bed chambers to open it in peace. It was likely to be some flowers or another thoughtless gift from a gentleman who did not know her at all…

"Oh my!"

But much to her surprise, this was the parcel that could easily put all of her fears to rest. It was a letter, written in George's lovely handwriting, letting her know that he was still in the country.

To my friend from the sea, I saw this postcard and thought of you. I look forward to seeing you again soon, Lord George Harrington.

Perhaps it did not explain why he had not attended the ball, but it gave her some much needed relief anyway. She thought he might be saving that explanation for when they next saw one another in person. Maybe he really did have business to attend to, but Gregory was wrong when he assumed George would never have time for love.

For her.

At least now she knew that he was safe and sound, and still in the country. He had not left her without saying goodbye which meant her heart did not have to break. Not yet anyway, and the more that time went on, the more convinced Sophie became that her heart was not going to be broken by George. Not ever.

Examining the post card brought a delighted smile to Sophie's face. This gift was even more touching than the book. The image was just perfect. A man and woman aboard a ship with a little dog running around their feet. It reminded her of the moment it really was just the three of them, in the rainstorm. The first moment they really truly met.

Sophie's heart raced at the memory, especially now that she had all these feelings towards this man. She instantly recognized a spark of desire the moment he held her, and she thought he was incredibly handsome, but now he meant so much more to her.

She knew that she was falling for him.

She could not stop thinking about him.

He had become everything to her.

She lay back on her bed, staring at the letter and the post card too, allowing the intensity of her feelings to truly wash over her. The glow of happiness that she felt just by thinking of him.

It was not hard for her now to grab the book that he bought for her, and to start reading, losing herself in the pages of the adventure splashed across the pages. Sophie envisioned herself having similar adventures, traveling to all these strange and wonderful places around the world, but with George with her.

Eventually, her mind began to wander, and the adventures in her imagination took on a life of their own. She started to dream about what a life with George might look like, a life where they were free to give in to the incredible temptation that they presented one another with. This time, when he went to kiss her, he did not stop himself. He scooped her up in his arms and intoxicated her with his lips.

She loved it, the sense of freedom, the feeling of finally having George as her own.

It felt like they had belonged to one another ever since they first touched, and that his request for a friendship in London was merely a ruse to keep her around.

Sophie could not be sure what was going to happen next between them, but she could not wait to find out.