Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Enough was enough.

Dorian had hit his final straw. He could not take it any more.

He grabbed hold of Dolores' elbow and relocated them to a private grove of trees. He would have to be careful of his volume, but he could not do this any longer. He had indulged her far too long as it was.

"What is the matter with you?" Dorian raged. "What could have possibly happened to have corrupted you so deeply in my absence? You conduct yourself as if you have no soul! No conscience!"

Dolores rolled her eyes and moved as if she were going to walk away from him again, as if she did not need to listen to this. But this time, he had truly had enough. No more changes. No more permitting her to live her life this way. It was affecting the lives of those around her so deeply.

It was one thing to be constantly meddlesome in his own life and toward his own actions. But doing it to Claire was something he could not abide. He would not allow it.

"You have become drunk on the power that you have granted yourself. You appear so desperate to cling onto whatever control you can have that it only makes you seem all that much more grasping and desperate. To think that you are so incredibly arrogant that you believe you can honestly and truly manipulate the fates of those around you as if you are some grand puppet master? How delusional can one woman be, Dolores?"

It was as if every private thought and feeling that he had been angrily stewing in for the last week was finally coming to a bubbling head and he could not stop it.

Dorian wished for an explanation. He wanted to know the truth of her intentions and the reason that had brought about all of this madness. Perhaps if he could attempt to wade through the chaos that her mind presented then he could at least see things from her perspective.

He could not fathom that she could have turned into something so cruel out of nowhere. Dolores had never been kind. She had always been an expert schemer, but at least before, she had had limits. At least, he had thought she had. Now, he was not so certain.

Dorian was attempting to leave the door of conversation open to her.

He was hoping she might hear him. That somehow, perhaps, she might see how deeply her actions were hurting him, and that she might care. He did not think that was asking too much.

For all of his own passing ideas about marrying her off or punishing her for the way she treated him or the things she had done, he had never once acted on them. He had not restricted her privileges or attempted to genuinely control her. She still claimed that his leash was too long, but in reality, it was the other way around. He had permitted too much of this as it was, and he had to put his foot down. He ought to have done so a good deal sooner.

Dolores, drunk on power and likely more than a few glasses of wine, found his words to be nothing more than a challenge as she stepped into her brother's personal space and squared herself off as if considering whether it was best to sort out this conflict with words or fists.

"You still underestimate me, brother." Dolores' sneer was so deeply engraved into her face that Dorian felt if she kept it up, it would become a permanent scowl. "You have no idea how powerful I have grown to be in your absence. I have been busy at work while you were off sowing your wild oats, brother. You have no idea what I am capable of. If you were aware, you would think twice before daring to raise your voice at me."

He almost wanted to laugh at her. What she was implying was so hilarious and impossible that his look of confusion could not be stopped. His lips quirked upward with the effort to keep from mocking her.

"Your lack of ambition has always made you spineless, brother. You never could do what was best; you only ever wished to follow your heart. Where is something so fickle as a heart ever going to get you? Penniless and living impoverished? Ruined? Worse? I am not going to let you drag me down with you!" Dolores snarled.

Dorian's brow furrowed.

"Again, this is all about you, is it not? It has always been about you. You do not care for my happiness or what I desire. You do not care what my life turns out to be, so long as you do not have to suffer as a result. You have never been interested in anything that does not directly benefit you. I know this might come to you as something of a shock, Dolores, but human beings are not just little pawns for you to move around like chess pieces, nor to be discarded at will!"

Dolores laughed bitterly. "Of course you are. I have been moving your piece around for years now."

"Just what is that supposed to mean?"

"Did you ever wonder who it was that suggested to Father that you spend more time in India establishing contracts and working for better trade deals? Who ensured you did not come home any time I knew your skills would be better utilized elsewhere?

It was my servant traveling with you, loyal to me always and feeding me your every move. I had you running around the globe doing my bidding under the guise of you running Father's empire. I have played you, Dorian, for the fool—and you were happy to do it."

He did not know what to say. It could not possibly be true. She was embellishing things: she had to be. There was simply no other explanation. He knew the men who had traveled with him. There was no way they were loyal to anyone other than him. For years , they had been his constant company. He had thought of them as his dearest friends and trusted them with everything. Everything.

It could not be possible, could it?

"Did you not think it even the slightest bit strange that none of your letters were ever returned to you? So very many letters did you write, always hoping for a response that never came. You poured your heart out and I am the only one who ever laughed at how pathetic your flowery words were. Well, myself and your men, of course." Dolores grinned. She almost seemed happy that she was finally getting the truth out. A burden was lifting from her chest.

It was like he was witnessing a carriage accident that he was helpless to stop. He could not tear himself away from her confessions. She had taken all of his letters? All of them? It was no wonder Claire had not known what he was speaking about in the slightest!

"In truth, I think my best stroke of genius was convincing the rest of the ton of her lewd reputation. It was only so simple after that to ensure everybody knew you left London to put as much distance between yourself and her as possible.

No one could deny your need to escape such an unwanted marriage. And yet, you still think I am powerless? I have been running your entire life, Dorian! I am the most powerful in this earldom. I alone kept the estate running.

I alone ensure that all around me are in their proper relationships. I introduce those who would benefit one another, and I separate those who would threaten my power. You look down upon me, brother, but you have no idea what this feels like."

She moved closer and jabbed a thin finger into his chest. She wanted to make him flinch and cower from her, or even be so enraged with her actions that he stormed off. She would feel further vindicated then. All she wanted from him was for him to admit that she had won, that he had been bested by her.

That was always her motivation for making such movements. He knew her well enough by now. It was the same tactic that she used when they were children and she wanted to have her way over his.

"For the last decade , Dorian, all of those whom I have influenced have thrived! Had you or Father truly been in charge, everything would have been a bungled mess. Unlike the two of you, I am not a slave to my emotions. I do not allow my base urges to dictate my life! I can make the hard choices, and all around me are better for it!"

Dorian, for the first time in his life, wondered if his sister possessed a heart at all. Of course love would seem silly and trivial to her when she was not capable of love. He could see that now.

All of this time, poor Claire had been under the impression that he had left her like a thief in the night. How clumsy a thief he had been, indeed. To leave the love of his life thinking he had taken something so intimate from her and dropped her in the days following.

All of his words of love and the promise of a life between the pair of them, the future that had awaited them—all for naught. All just ripped away from her; and not only had she been forced to pick up the pieces that he had unwittingly left her in, but she had had to do so while enduring the sour opinion of the ton as well.

Claire thought he had left her without saying goodbye. And yet, she had still invited him back into her arms.

He would never deserve her in a million years. In this lifetime and every one after that, for as long as their souls still existed in whatever stuff that the cosmos and fates made souls out of, he would make it up to her. He could never possibly deserve her, but he was going to dedicate the rest of his life to the endeavor of trying to earn her back.

Dorian's hands trembled at his sides. A spectacular rage and a deeply broken heart warred inside of him. He could not settle on a dominant emotion no matter how he tried. He would never be able to look his sister in the face again. Not without feeling this pain.

Even now, as he gazed upon her in stark disbelief, he could practically see his perception of her changing. Every memory that he looked upon fondly of times he had shared with his sister from their youth and childhood would be forever tainted beyond repair.

Seven years.

He and Claire could have had seven years by now if it were not for the monster in front of him.

"What has she done? What has Claire or I ever done to offend you so?" Dorian whispered. He did not trust himself to speak. It was hard to keep the tear from rolling down his face even still. "What have I done, Dolores? For you to be so cruel, to rob us of happiness. To be so callous in your dismissal of my future and my possible joy… sentenced by you to ten years of isolation and strife, for what?"

He could not do it.

Dorian turned away from his sister, if he could even call her that any longer. In blood, of course, but never again in his heart.

She said nothing in her defense, for there was nothing to be said.

Dorian left the garden party immediately. He had nothing to say to these people. He needed to see Claire, and right away. He needed to confront this issue before he had the time to think better of it. Furthermore, he needed to see her so that he could clear the air and tell her that he had written her hundreds of letters.

She might never believe him, and he would not be able to do anything about that, he knew. But he had to try.

He had to hope against hope that there was still a chance to fix this.