9. Carter

9

CARTER

You played like shit.

I scowl at Corey’s text and a string of expletives flow past my lips. Leave it to my best friend to tell me how bad I sucked when I didn’t need the reminder.

I’d seen my coaches exchange loaded looks when I failed to sack the quarterback despite the fact I had a clear shot at him. The bastard had slipped right through my gloves before tossing the ball for a touchdown. And I’d heard my fellow teammates grumble when I unsuccessfully blocked a pass that gave our opponent a much-needed first down. But at least none of them openly criticized me for shitting the bed. Whether it was out of respect or fear, I don’t know.

Clearly, Corey doesn’t have the same reservations.

I don’t respond to my best friend’s message. Instead, I focus my tired eyes on the dark road in front of me. Rose Hill doesn’t have streetlights like bigger towns, and there’s a chance wildlife could decide to run out in front of my vehicle, attracted to the bright headlights.

Thankfully, I make it home without incident.

It’s late by the time I turn off the engine and walk into the dark house. It’s a school night. The kids would’ve gone to bed hours ago, but I expect Valerie to still be up.

I wonder where she is as I walk through the entry hallway and see a soft blue light glowing from the living room ahead. I approach and see the TV is on. The brand logo is slowly floating across the screen, bouncing against the edge, and then traveling across the screen in a different direction. I scan the coffee table for the remote to turn it off when my eyes catch on the bundled figure lying on the couch.

I freeze.

Valerie’s head rests on one of the decorative pillows my mom bought for me when I moved into my first place. Her long black hair is fanned out over the couch’s armrest. Long, dark lashes cast shadows on her cheeks and she breathes softly through slightly parted lips. She has no idea I’m here.

If she were one of the former nannies, I’d be angry to find her so deeply asleep. My mind would immediately jump to worst-case scenarios.

I’d worry about what would’ve happened if one of the twins had needed her but she didn’t hear them calling out to her.

I’d imagine what could’ve happened if there was a fire and she didn’t notice until it was too late to run upstairs to rescue the twins.

My irrational anxieties would make me so angry, I’d likely wake her with a poke and immediately tell her she was fired.

I don’t make a habit of watching the nanny cams I have set up throughout the house during the day. I’m usually not near my phone when I’m at practice or a game. But the few times I have checked on the kids when I’m away, I’ve seen how Valerie and the twins spend their days. They’re constantly running around, playing games, and doing activities. I’m not surprised the twenty-three-year-old has passed out on the couch.

And honestly, I trust that if one of my children were in need, she would wake up and help them.

I trust her.

It’s a strange realization for someone I barely know, but it’s the truth. In a short time, Valerie has proven herself someone I can rely on—someone the kids can rely on. And that is something they both desperately needed.

I swallow the emotional lump in my throat and murmur, “Valerie?”

She doesn’t stir.

I clear my throat and lightly tap the shoulder peeking out of the blanket she’s wrapped in. “Valerie?”

She bolts upright. “Andy? Abby?” Blinking away sleep, she looks around the room frantically. Seeing nothing amiss, she relaxes. Her eyes finally land on mine before looking away, running a hand over her hair.

“You’re home.” Her voice is rough from disuse. She coughs to clear her throat. “What time is it?”

“A little after midnight.”

“I’ll get going.” She pushes the blanket off her and then swings her feet to the floor.

“You don’t have to leave.”

She stills, but her wide eyes swing up and lock with mine.

Shit… I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.

“It’s late and the roads are dark leaving town,” I offer as an explanation. “You can stay in the guest room for the night and leave in the morning if you want.” Valerie usually works Mondays, but since tomorrow is a light day where I only go in to review film in the morning, I have my parents coming over to watch the twins so she can have the day off. I won’t have practice again until Wednesday, so she will get two days off in a row.

I ignore the disappointment I feel knowing I won’t see her for more than forty-eight hours.

The beautiful woman presses her lips together and shakes her head. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Worry for her safety floods my voice. “The bed is comfortable.”

Ugh . That was lame.

I feel like a boy who’s never talked to a pretty girl before. But even as a kid, I think I had more game than I do speaking to Valerie now. There’s just something about her piercing green eyes that makes me act like a fool around her.

It’s probably because you still have sex dreams about her most nights…

“I’m sure it is,” Valerie answers, unaware of the vulgar path my thoughts have taken. “But I have brunch plans downtown tomorrow. It’ll be easier to get there from my dad’s condo in the morning.”

“Brunch?” Jealousy jolts through me. “With who?”

“My mom.” I detect a note of disdain in her tone. She stands and folds the blanket before placing it over the back of the couch.

“Do you and your mother not get along?” The one time Valerie spoke about her mom was when she told me she didn’t have any siblings because her mom had declared one child was more than enough. Something tells me the mother-daughter pair might not have a good relationship.

Valerie confirms as much when she says, “We don’t always see eye to eye on things.”

“What kind of things?”

She huffs an unamused laugh. “Anything in my life, basically.”

I frown. “Not even being an accountant?” Didn’t she say she was only an accountant to please her mom?

She shakes her head. “Even when I do what my mom wants, she’s never satisfied. There’s always some way I can improve.”

I don’t know what that feels like.

My parents were nothing but supportive of whatever I wanted to do growing up. When I showed a preference for football over baseball, Dad didn’t hesitate to let me switch to the new sport even though he loved baseball. I know he’d dreamed of his son playing in the majors one day.

Good thing I befriended Corey as a kid. The star pitcher gave my dad a version of his dream when he made it to the pros. Though, something tells me my dad would’ve been just fine with a son playing in the NFL.

“That’s rough,” I reply gently, not knowing what else to say.

She shrugs, trying to look unaffected, but I see the twinge of pain in her gaze before she looks away. “It’s whatever. I recently decided I’m done doing what others want. I’m determined to focus on what I want instead.”

“Oh yeah?” I tilt my head to the side and smirk. “I wonder what motivated that decision? Or should I say who? ”

Valerie’s lips twitch, failing to hide her answering grin. “Don’t flatter yourself, Jones. You barely influenced my decision.”

“Liar.”

She rolls her eyes and then chuckles. “Fine. Maybe you had a little bit of influence in my decision.” She holds up her thumb and pointer finger with less than a centimeter of space between them.

“Happy I could help.”

She laughs again.

I stare at her lips, mesmerized by the soft sound that’s played in the background music of my home these past few weeks.

Noticing my stare, her smile falters.

Valerie lowers her hand and clears her throat. “Anyway, thanks again for the offer, but my mom will never let me hear the end of it if I’m late tomorrow. So, yeah… I’m gonna head out.” She motions towards the entry hallway but doesn’t take a step in that direction.

And for a reason I don’t want to think too much about, I don’t want her to leave just yet. “You know… it’s brave what you’re doing.”

She blinks at me, confused. “Being a nanny?”

I crack a smile. “Being willing to start over. Not forcing yourself to follow through on past decisions out of fear of failure.”

“Oh… thanks.” She looks away, clearly uncomfortable with praise.

Or maybe it’s just my praise…

“Your dad is happy you’re here.” Coach Palmer’s always been a good-natured guy, tough when required but not needlessly an asshole, but in the weeks since Valerie has been in town, I’ve barely seen him without a smile on his face. Even after my piss-poor performance today, he was in a good mood when telling me we’d discuss things tomorrow.

If I didn’t have a strong contract with a decent payout if the team decides to release me, I might be worried. But short of trading me, the team can’t get rid of me. And based on the fact there isn’t another linebacker on the roster with a record close to mine, I think I’m good. Just as long as I stop having shitty performances.

Valerie’s smile returns. It’s soft with affection. “I know. It’s been nice to spend so much time with him again.”

Still not wanting the conversation to end, I ask, “When was the last time you visited?”

She sighs. “Honestly, I don’t know. After starting college, I filled my breaks and summers with whatever internship or volunteer experience my mom insisted would look great to a future employer. Looking back, I wish I would’ve taken more time to just enjoy college, you know?”

I do know.

I won’t say I didn’t take advantage of being a football star from time to time. It was cool to be treated like a celebrity on campus, and even a pseudo-national celebrity when the team had an undefeated season my senior year and Gary approached me about becoming my agent for the upcoming draft.

But as a player, I was held to a certain standard when it came to partying and indulging in typical college vices. Which was probably for the best. Many of my fellow players fell into habits that didn’t serve them, or their football careers, well.

“I should have visited him more,” Valerie adds with sadness that makes me want to wrap my arms around her.

“Well, you’re here now.” I crack another smile. “And it’s a good thing, too. I was this close to searching the employee directories at the Big Four firms in Houston to figure out your identity.” I hold my thumb and pointer finger less than a centimeter apart, just like she had.

She laughs and shakes her head in disbelief. “No, you weren’t.”

“Yes, I was. The mystery of your identity nagged at me.”

“It did?”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to admit that hardly a night has passed when I’m not reminded of her and our night together, and how close I came to investing energy I didn’t have into learning her identity when I first returned from my vacation.

Only the fact that I woke up the following day and was greeted by my children’s faces kept me from wasting my time searching for her.

“It was,” I admit.

“Why didn’t you?”

“Why didn’t I what?”

“Try to figure out who I was.”

My brows lift. “Well, considering how you snuck out of my hotel room, I assumed you didn’t want me to.” I regret the moment the words leave my lips.

Awkwardness descends, and I want to kick myself for ruining this moment.

“Oh.” Valerie shuffles her feet. “Yeah… that makes sense.”

Don’t ask. Don’t ask. Don’t ask.

“Why did you?”

Damnit, Carter.

Wide green eyes meet mine. “Why did I leave?”

I nod. “Yes.”

She bites her bottom lip. “I just had a lot going on… and I guess I felt embarrassed by throwing myself at you like that.”

“So it had nothing to do with me?” I sound insecure, but I don’t care.

I don’t have false modesty. I know I’m good-looking and I’d say I’m easy to get along with. But my ego took a hit when she pulled her disappearing act.

“Of course not. You were great.” Her cheeks heat.

Pride swells in my chest. “I was?”

“You know you were.” The color in her face deepens and she averts her gaze. “Should we even be talking about this? I thought we were supposed to keep things professional.”

“You’re right,” I agree reluctantly. I glance down at my smartwatch. “If you’re still set on driving home, you should leave before it gets even later and drunk drivers start getting on the road.” The thought makes me want to insist she stays the night, but she’s a grown woman. She can make her own decisions, even if my protective instincts don’t like it.

“Okay.” After a brief hesitation, she moves into the kitchen and retrieves her purse from the center island. She digs inside for her keys and I follow her as she walks to the front door.

She steps onto the porch.

I do the same. “Text me when you get home.”

She pauses. “Are you sure? It’ll be late.”

“I’m sure.” I won’t be able to sleep until I know she’s safe and sound in her bed.

“Okay. I will.” Her eyes search mine. For what? I don’t know. But whatever she sees makes her features soften. Quietly, she says, “Good night.”

“Night, Val.”

I watch her slide into her car and keep watching until her taillights disappear down the bend. The entire time, I have to remind myself that I need to keep things professional between us.

Despite my poor performance today, things have been better at practice. I have every hope that I’ll get back to the level I was before the stress of this custody battle took my focus off the game.

And with Laura contesting my custody, I can’t afford to let anything complicate things with the twins’ care. They need stability if I have any hope of winning my case.

So as much as I wish I could give in to my attraction for Valerie and pursue her, I won’t.

The twins are my priority, just as they should be.