22. Valerie

22

VALERIE

“Where are we going?” I’m not short by any measure, but Carter’s strides are twice the length of mine. I’m doing an awkward walk-run shuffle to keep up as he pulls me through the busy streets of downtown Dallas.

The tall linebacker looks at me over his shoulder. His freshly washed hair blows in the wind, and boyish excitement makes his brown eyes shine. “You’ll see.”

I press my lips together to hold in my breathy sigh.

The sundress I packed for brunch this morning billows around me when a strong breeze whips between the tall buildings. I’d planned on meeting up with Megan, Jennifer, and a couple of my friends who came into town for my birthday. But that was before I brought Carter back to my hotel and had the best sex of my life.

Not even our hot and heavy night together in the Caribbean could compare to the ecstasy I experienced last night. I’d assumed that now that we knew each other, things would be a little more stilted and awkward between us, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Carter Jones is a god in bed. No surprise there. But what was a surprise was how determined he’d been to ensure I enjoyed myself. His lips never stopped kissing me and his hands had never stopped caressing me. When I’d tried to go down on him after he coaxed the second orgasm from me, he’d refused with a roguish grin and went in for a third.

A man as hot as Carter doesn’t need to be so selfless in bed. Women would sleep with him just for the bragging rights. But there’s no denying it—he’s the most skilled lover I’ve ever had. And for the time being… he’s mine.

Except you insisted things between you would be casual, meaning he can date other women and you can’t say anything about it.

I do my best to ignore the mood-killing thought, but it’s difficult.

I don’t know why I insisted we keep things casual. Lord knows that’s not what I want. But I’m not certain I want a relationship either… not even with someone as kind, funny, and good-looking as Carter.

The pieces of my life are slowly being put back into place, but I’ve got a long way to go before I should entertain bringing a romantic partner into the puzzle.

And yet, you slept with your boss.

Ugh.

Fine. I’ll admit it. I might have created a mess. But as I stare at Carter’s strong hands firmly wrapped around mine as he tugs me after him, I find it impossible to care.

We walk two blocks and come to a one-story building wedged between two high-rise, luxury apartment buildings. The bright green and yellow exterior paint sticks out like a sore thumb. It looks like a cantina I saw when I went to Cabo with Megan, back when we were twenty.

Carter leads me to a navy blue door and holds it open. I drop his hand and walk inside. I inhale the fresh scent of jasmine soap as Carter moves past me and approaches the host’s stand.

A quick look around reveals a single, long U-shaped bar dominates the room. The back wall is covered with liquor bottles and bright-rimmed margarita glasses. A pair of worn gray double doors to my left lead to the kitchen, while a narrow hall to the right leads to the restrooms according to the “Los Banos” sign overhead.

I’m about to tell Carter it may be a little early for a margarita when I look through the open patio doors. “Seriously, Carter?”

The handsome man finishes asking for a table on the patio before turning to me with a mischievous grin. “What?”

I motion towards the pair of sand volleyball courts. “Volleyball? You can’t tell me it’s a coincidence we’re here.”

“It’s not.” His grin grows. “Come on.” He takes my hand again and we follow the dark-haired host to the patio. As long as Carter smiles at me like that, I think I might follow him anywhere.

Ceiling fans spin fast overhead, creating a strong breeze that counteracts the warm humidity that will only get worse as the day progresses. It won’t be long before it’ll be too uncomfortable to enjoy being outside, but right now, it’s perfect.

We sit at a tall table at the patio's edge, sheltered by a wooden pergola overhead. The host hands us brunch menus and tells us our server will be with us shortly before heading back inside. He’s perfectly polite, but I don’t miss the curious glance he gives Carter as he walks away. I’m pretty sure he recognizes the star linebacker.

Before we can speak, our server comes by and introduces herself, pours us water, and then leaves to give us time to look over our menu.

“Let me make one thing clear,” I say once we’re alone, “I’m not dressed to play volleyball.” I extend my sandaled foot and gesture to my pretty sundress.

He chuckles. “Neither am I.” He wears his dress shirt from last night, albeit with the buttons undone at the top and the sleeves rolled up to his elbow. His slacks were miraculously unwrinkled when he picked them up off the hotel room this morning. But even if they were wrinkled, I bet he’d still look put together.

“But I couldn’t resist an opportunity to remind you of the first time we met,” he finishes with a soft expression that makes my stomach flip.

“Like I could forget.”

“I’m pretty memorable, huh?” He winks.

“Please.” I roll my eyes and pick up the single-paged paper menu. “You know you are.”

His lips part in another smile. “Well, if we’re confessing things, I think you should know that I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.”

I laugh to try and hide how his words make my heart race. “Yeah, right.”

“I mean it,” he says, trapping me in the clutches of his sincere expression. “I clocked you on the beach all the way from the pool. You’re the only reason I agreed when Dane suggested we go over and ask to join y’all’s game.”

I slowly lower the menu and raise a questioning brow. “Really?”

“Really. I don’t know if you know this Valerie Palmer, but you’re gorgeous.”

I wave away the compliment.

“I mean it. I couldn’t take my eyes off you then. And it’s no better now.” He reaches across the table and takes my hand.

The affectionate words coupled with his warm touch make my heart feel like it’s going to bust out of my chest. I need to temper these emotions. I can’t afford to do something as foolish as fall for Carter Jones.

I don’t say a word, but Carter must read my thoughts on my face.

“My bad.” He drops my hand and sits back, wearing a cheeky grin. “Forget I said anything. We’re supposed to be casual.” His eyes shine with amusement.

I release a pent-up breath.

I’m thankful Carter is choosing to find humor in this situation, but I’m more confused than ever.

It’s been less than two hours since I proposed we keep our budding relationship casual. Am I about to throw that idea away, just like every other agreement we’ve made to each other since we met?

Why, yes… yes, I am.

The server returns right before I’m about to say screw it and tell Carter I want us to be more than casual—that I was ridiculous for thinking that plan would ever work.

I order a Michelada and migas breakfast plate. Carter orders six breakfast tacos stuffed with potatoes, chorizo, and cheese. It’s on the tip of my tongue to question if he honestly plans to eat that many tacos, but I refrain. Not only do I remind myself he’s a professional athlete, but I also remind myself it’s not cool to comment on what another person eats. I was once a teenage girl. I know how bad that can make someone feel. Especially since my mom still likes to criticize my food choices, along with practically everything else in my life.

I wait until the server walks away and we’re alone again before I take a steadying breath, preparing to take a less impulsive approach to communicating my change of heart. Quietly, I ask, “What if I changed my mind?”

Carter lowers his glass of water, looking confused. “Changed your mind? About what?”

I press my lips together then swallow down the insecurity trying to crawl up my throat. “What if I changed my mind about us… being casual?”

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

I immediately regret my words.

I’m an idiot.

Of course, Carter doesn’t want things between us to be too serious.

He’s my boss, for goodness sake. It’s the reason I insisted on this arrangement in the first place. And he’s a dad. He’s in the middle of a custody battle with his ex. He doesn’t have time for a real relationship. And neither do I. I was dumb to suggest it.

Stupid, stupid, Valerie!

“Forget it—” I say.

“Absolutely—” Carter speaks at the same time.

I pinch my lips together as hope bubbles in my chest. I search his brown eyes. They swirl with happiness and… relief?

“Really?” I ask.

“Yes,” he states without hesitation. “I only agreed to be casual to make you feel comfortable, but I never had any intention of holding back how I feel about you. I’m not sure I could even if I tried.”

My heart is racing. “The way you feel about me?”

His gaze softens. “You’re a catch, Valerie. That’s not easy to ignore. Or to not pursue.”

“But…” I lick my dry lips. “My life is kind of a mess right now.”

“So is mine.”

“It’s not the same.” I shake my head. “I don’t want to do anything that will make things harder for either of us. I don’t know where my career is heading, and you’ve got two other people’s well-being to consider.”

I love the twins. They’re great kids. But I’m only twenty-four. I’m not looking to become a motherly figure to anyone. I’m far from qualified. And even if I wanted to, it’s not like I even have a good role model to emulate.

Some of the light dims in Carter’s eyes, but his voice is even when he replies, “I get it. But just because we decide things aren’t casual doesn’t mean we can’t take things slow. Right?”

“Right,” I latch on to the potential solution to the question of whether or not it’s a good idea to continue to pursue the gorgeous man in front of me.

His shoulders fall as if a huge weight has been lifted. “Good. Then we agree. This thing between us,” he waves a hand from his chest to mine, “is not casual, but we’ll take it one day at a time.”

“And we can’t tell the twins,” I blurt without meaning to, but the moment the words pass my lips, I acknowledge the stipulation is wise.

Not telling the twins about the romance between me and their dad will ensure we keep our behavior professional when I’m working as their nanny.

At least, I think it will.

I hope it will.

With the way Carter Jones smirks at me with that devil-may-care attitude, I fear hiding the way we feel about each other will be far easier said than done.

“Okay, we won’t tell the twins.” He leans forward and takes my hand, lifting it to his lips for a kiss that sends a shiver down my spine. “ For now .”