Chapter 22 Ren Monroe

Ren waited that night for Theo to knock on the door to her room.

Every time she shifted, the bed's coils groaned beneath her. She waited for several hours before sleep took her. In the morning, she bolted upright. Squares of golden light were sneaking between the gaps in the blinds. Ren sat there, rubbing a sore spot on her side, trying to figure out why Theo hadn't come. It was disconcerting. Was Dahl the reason for this change in him? Or had something been said during Thugar's visit? Ren could not help considering the possibility that Theo might actually abandon her. It was possible that her arrival was simply making him feel guilty over a decision he'd already made.

Breakfast was meager. Boiled eggs, stale bread, dried meat. Ren saw Dahl out front through one of the windows, loading the sleds up with various goods, but there was no sign of Theo. She worked her way through the tasteless meal, hoping they might talk while Dahl was indisposed—but Theo's arrival was perfectly timed with the girl's return.

"How did you sleep?" he asked.

"I slept fine," Ren answered. "You?"

"Better than I have in weeks. Come on. We should start up to the castle."

She noted the way he avoided eye contact. That strange disconnect loomed again. Ren almost demanded an audience with him right then, but Dahl was on the move and Theo followed on her heel. It would have to wait until they reached the castle.

Outside, the sun was bright but did little to actually warm them. She set her luggage on the sleds, only to have Dahl immediately rearrange them. Ren tightened her scarf, pulled up her hood, and followed Theo up the mountain.

He turned into a guide once more. Pointing out distant peaks. Talking through old historical battles. She loved that he'd studied all of this, but the history lesson was tainted by the strange gulf between them. The path itself was not particularly daunting. Still, Ren saw why her carriage rider had suggested waiting until the sun was out. It was not hard to imagine a misstep in one direction sending wayward travelers skidding over the side of any number of dangerous precipices. Dahl forged ahead, pulling the heavier of the two sleds, while Theo hung back with Ren. It was not quite enough privacy for her to broach the more serious subjects, though.

Halfway to the castle, Ren started to sweat. She wasn't even pulling anything, but the sunlight had intensified and the wind from the valley had died. It was quiet, too, with nothing but their breathing and the distant calls of wheeling hawks to break the silence of the mountain pass.

It was a relief when they reached the flattened tier of land fronting the castle. The building looked uglier in the morning light. She could see great gaps in the stones. All of the crumbled arches. It looked like a piece of armor that time had knifed through in certain places. Even the two soldiers looked like they'd suffered through one too many battles. As if they'd rather limp home than keep defending the castle beyond. And this, she realized, was Theo's home. Not just for the last few weeks. Likely, he'd begun imagining his life for the next few years happening here. Maybe this was the source of his frustration. A reality that Ren had not had to wrestle with.

"I'm sorry, Theo."

He frowned back at her. "For what?"

"You've been alone out here. I'm sure it's been difficult."

"Oh. Right. No, it isn't a very charming place. Dahl has been here. Sam and Mather rotate the kitchen work. I haven't been completely alone, but…" He trailed off as he looked at the daunting spires. "You're right. It's a lifeless place. I feel like I've been trying to draw a pulse back out of a corpse. The only thing there really is to do up here is read."

Ren smiled at him. "Not the worst activity."

He smiled back, but the expression was flicker and gone. They trudged around the larger snowdrifts. Dahl pressed ahead with her load. Ren saw the growing gap as her chance.

"Theo. We need to talk. Just the two of us."

His eyes flicked back to her. There was such pain on his face. She'd never seen him look so uncomfortable, and she felt that echoed across their bond. What was happening?

"Of course. I was hoping later today, but I suppose there's no point putting it off."

And with that ominous beginning, he led her into the waiting castle. Dahl set to the task of unloading. Theo guided Ren through abandoned halls, full of morning light. It might have been charming if it didn't show off all the gathered cobwebs and dusty corners. Theo gestured.

"Dahl cleans a different wing each morning," he said. "But it's impossible to keep the entire place in good repair with a staff this small. Can't afford to put enchantments on everything either, since there's not a magic-house to refill vessels in Nostra. I decided to focus on the rooms that we spend the most time in."

Ren was led through another hallway—the windows stained and putrid—and up into a library. This room, at least, was in pristine condition. Books ran in a circle around them, reaching from floor to ceiling, and Ren could see why Theo would choose this room to be his refuge. There was a rolling ladder for the upper shelves, chandeliers dangling above a desk and several reading chairs. Even the windows offered a sweeping view back toward Nostra.

Yes, this room would have been her choice as well. Theo closed the door behind them and gestured to the waiting armchairs. Ren took her seat, and the irony of this moment was not lost on her. She was sitting inside a literal piece of history. One of the buildings that had carved the Brood legacy into the history books. If this conversation went the way she hoped it would, she'd take one more step toward dismantling that legacy.

Theo sat down with a heavy sigh. He'd always looked pale, but there was a hollowness to his features. The slightest thinning in his cheeks. A discoloring beneath the eyes. A part of her instinctually wanted to pull him across the room into her lap, to hold him for a while and stroke his cheek and tell him it would all be okay. But she knew she'd come here to ask even more of him.

"I needed to tell—"

"I know why you're—"

The two of them cut off. It almost helped Ren's nervousness, this fumbling start.

"Why don't you go first?" she said.

Theo bit his lip. "I know why you're here. It's hard to explain, but I saw you. Speaking with my father. At the apartment in the Heights. It was like I was standing there with you."

He was clearly expecting her to be shocked. Ren nodded instead. "I know. I felt you there."

"You did?"

"Of course," she said. "You pulled me once, too, Theo. The day you arrived in Nostra. I witnessed your first glimpse of the castle. It was the same magic. Across our bond."

He leaned back in his chair. "Fascinating. I didn't realize it had happened before."

"It had. So, you saw that conversation.…"

Theo nodded. "I heard what he offered you. Not just a normal life. A position with one of the great houses. A position you've always wanted. And then you arrived here without any warning.…" He shook his head, struggling to maintain eye contact. "I know you've come here to break the news to me. I just… I thought I'd make it easier on you. You don't have to ask, Ren. I'll absolutely release you from our bond. If that's what will make you happy."

His words were a shock of cold water. They ran down through her skin, past her bones, straight to her heart. She hadn't realized how much she felt for Theo until this moment. She sank back into the cushions of her chair and could barely keep from laughing.

"You think I came here to break up with you?"

Theo frowned. "Yes?"

Now Ren did laugh. The rest of the conversation would not be humorous for either of them, but at least this part was funny. "You didn't witness the whole conversation, did you? I thought I felt something. Almost as if you… pulled away. You didn't see my response?"

He shook his head. "No, I retreated. I'm not sure how to explain it. Maybe you felt the same way. Being there was… too painful. It was like I was inside your feelings. The emotions were too raw. It hurt so much that if I didn't leave, I felt like I might die."

"Then you don't actually know what happened," Ren said. "I told your father no, Theo."

The sudden brightness on his face was unmistakable. All the pieces fit together. No wonder he'd been so eager to avoid a private moment. It made so much sense. Witnessing his father's offer but not seeing Ren's response. And then her sudden arrival. She would have leapt to the same conclusions. It nearly broke her heart to think about.

Quietly, Ren stood. She crossed the room, following her earlier instinct. She placed a single kiss on his forehead. When he looked up, she leaned down just far enough that their lips could brush together. Once, twice, three times. Theo shivered, and Ren knew he'd gone weeks without any kind of physical touch. Isolated in this place. She kissed him one more time for good measure and then took her seat again.

"I'm not here to break up with you, Theo."

Theo's expression faltered. "But Ren… my father's offer…"

"I know, Theo. He was awful. As awful to me as he was to you at that dinner party."

"I'm not talking about that," Theo replied unexpectedly. "I've known that side of him my entire life. I was talking about Seminar Shiverian. My father's offer was… good for you. Timmons said last year that your dream was to be a spellmaker. You could start an entirely new life. Away from my horrible family. I don't want to be the one thing that's binding you to House Brood. If you secretly want that life, I'll still agree to it. We can be severed—and at least one of us would be free."

Ren saw he was trying to sacrifice himself. It was noble. If her affection for him was their only link, it might even be the right choice. But he didn't know the rest of the story. And how could he? She'd never been brave enough to tell him.

"You do not know my dreams."

He stared back at her. "Tell me, then."

She settled deeper into her chair. A quick glance to the entry confirmed the door was still shut. They were alone. "Are you sure you want to know?"

He didn't hesitate. "Of course."

"My father's name is Roland Monroe. Does that sound familiar?"

Theo shook his head.

"It should. He is the man your father's hound is named for."

She could see the gears turning in his mind. The impossibility of her words. Likely, Theo was trying to recall some employee that his father had been fond of. Imagining some charitable reason for naming a dog after a human being.

"My father worked in the canals. I used to visit him. My mother would send me there to bring him lunch sometimes. I'd watch the workers. Each day they labored to build your father's dream. Their conditions were poor, though. My father…" Ren fought for the right words. "He was a leader. If others were afraid to speak, he'd be the first to raise his voice. He organized a union. It undermined your father's efforts, but it would have benefited all the workers involved. As I understand it, my father won. The union succeeded in halting the progress of the canal. Your father called a meeting to concede to their demands."

Ren's breathing slowed. Her heart barely felt like it was still in her chest. How many times had she relived these memories? And always alone.

"You saw what happened. During our encounter with Clyde. That was the day. My worst memory, and it was all arranged. Your father asked him and the other union leaders to make an appearance at the unfinished bridge. It was where they were going to officially shake hands—but when they posed for a picture, the bridge collapsed. Everyone said it was so unlucky that they were standing there when it happened. Except it was no accident, Theo."

She could see him trying to piece together everything.

"It was your father who arranged their death," she said. "He invited them all there. Some of his own personal inspectors were seen that day, ‘examining' the undergirding of the bridge. A hundred different people confirmed the rumor, even if there was never enough evidence to prove it. Not that it would have mattered. What judge would prosecute the head of one of the five great houses? You found that out last year, didn't you? After you almost killed the people in that teahouse.

"This is the unfortunate truth, Theo. Your father murdered mine. Roland Monroe got in his way—and he was killed for it. Not because he wronged your father. Not because he insulted your family name or committed some unspeakable crime. He was killed for asking that people like us be treated with decency."

Ren saw a hundred questions waiting to burst out of Theo. He was chewing on his lip, drinking it all in. She went on before he could speak.

"I was eight, Theo. Just eight years old when I attended my father's funeral. Your father came too. I always thought that was his final insult to my father's memory. One last chance to spit on his grave. The authorities who investigated the situation found your father innocent. Everyone called it a tragedy, but a few of us knew the truth. It was murder. But the worst part is what you told me last year, Theo. Attending the funeral wasn't his final insult, was it? What's your dog's name?"

His voice ghosted out. "Roland."

"Named after my father. I imagine he took a lot of pleasure from that. Watching a creature skulk around your estate, always underfoot, bearing the name of the man he'd just successfully buried. I might have never known that part of the story. Not without meeting you. But you wanted to know why I'm here. Aside from my affections for you, this is the answer. I am here to avenge my father. I'm here to seek justice for the man responsible for his death."

The room fell silent. There was only Theo's chest, rising and falling. Ren's hands shook slightly at having finally confessed all this to someone. They stared at each other with the weight of new truth sitting on their shoulders. Theo broke the silence.

"You're certain?"

"I am certain, Theo. As certain as I could be about anything."

He bit his lip again. "That's why you didn't like me."

Ren couldn't help snorting. "I avoided you for that reason, but come on, the party? I had plenty of reasons to dislike you, Theo."

He nodded at that memory. Ren could feel the slightest rumbling across their bond. She'd been waiting to see what emotion would come out of all of this. Pain? Embarrassment? Instead, she felt the beginnings of rage. White and hot and glowing from the very core of him.

"Tell me what you want me to do."

The moment had arrived. Ren had dreamed it might come decades from now. If her original plan had worked, she'd be serving time in House Shiverian or House Winters, quietly working her way up through the ranks, positioning herself to strike back at the people who'd taken her father's life. Instead, the moment was here. In this mountain pass, sitting across from a boy who could either unlock every door for her or slam the gates in her face.

"I want you to choose me."

"I have chosen you."

"Then choose me again. Choose me forever. Do you really think I could suffer to live out my years as Landwin Brood's daughter-in-law? Imagine what that existence is like for me, Theo. Sitting at the same dinner table. Having to exchange words with him at every party. I will not live the rest of my life in the shadow he's created for me."

"So what are you saying? What do you want me to do? Kill him?"

"That would be a fine fucking start."

Her words echoed off the walls. There was enough light that she could see dust motes floating in the air between them. Theo shoved to his feet. He didn't turn to leave, though. He started pacing. Back and forth. Ren knew she was walking a narrow path. A tightrope that would require all her focus to cross.

"You've never imagined it?"

Theo shook his head, not looking back at her. "Of course I've imagined it. I hate my father, Ren. But there's a large gap between hating someone and killing them. You're talking about—"

"Justice."

Theo turned back. "I was going to say murder."

"It would be both," she replied. "Who else could make him answer for what he did? What he's done to you and to me? All the hundreds of sins that no judge or god will ever punish?"

Theo's face looked wretched. "You're talking about my family, Ren."

"Yes. Your family. The people who grinned as your father sent you into exile. As you were forced to come to this godforsaken place—for the great crime of stooping to love me."

She saw how that wounded him. The truth always struck the deepest.

"You didn't hear the end of our conversation," Ren said. "On that balcony. After I rejected his offer, your father threatened me." She weighed how much she should stretch the truth. "He told me that I would be sent here to live with you. We would spend the rest of our days in Nostra. Exiled. And he told me that was the best possible scenario. That I would be lucky to make it out here in the first place. ‘Those mountain passes are tricky,' he said. ‘Accidents happen all the time.'?"

Ren felt how that stoked the flames within Theo. The way his rage continued building and burning across their bond. Theo was pacing again. He looked as ready as he'd ever be.

"But he would never actually…"

"Kill me? Listen to yourself, Theo. He killed my father. Why not me as well?"

Theo lashed out at one of the porcelain bookends on the nearest shelf. He sent it flying across the room. It struck the wall, shattering into pieces. She saw his hands were shaking.

"Even if I wanted to do this. Even if I agreed to kill my own father. How, exactly, do you propose to do that? He's the head of House Brood. Every asset we possess is at his disposal. He has defenses that only the great houses know about. Our estate…" He trailed off, gesturing wildly. "Gods, Ren. The estate is nearly impossible to breach. They took away my access before I left. Those walls are so deeply enchanted that they could hold off entire armies. It's not just that this would be difficult for me. What you're asking would be difficult for anyone. We could have Able Ockley with us, and he'd tell you the same thing. My father is one of the most protected men in all of Kathor. What, exactly, is your plan?"

Ren answered. "I have thought about this for the last decade. Every action I've taken. Every move I have made. All in service to this task. Do you think I would do all of this without a plan?"

Theo didn't smile. His eyes, though, were cold and calculating. She saw a confirmation of what she'd secretly been hoping for all this time. All she needed was for Theo to believe this was possible. That Landwin Brood was not a god. She knew it had started at the dinner in the Heights. In front of the city's elite, Landwin Brood had humiliated his own son. He'd exiled Theo to teach him a lesson, but now all it meant was that his son was far enough away—filled with enough rage—to actually imagine a future without him.

Ren waited for Theo to sit back down. "I am not the only one who has been wronged by House Brood. About ten years ago, there was a smaller house in Kathor that was destroyed. All of the members of that house were executed. It began with a minor offense to your brother. Do you remember that family's name?"

Theo's face went pale. This all would have happened when he was a child, but that did not mean he didn't know about it. His voice was quiet, distant.

"House Tin'Vori."

Ren quietly began explaining what would happen next.