Chapter Nineteen

‘ A re you still happy to go for a walk along the beach? I won't be keeping you up too late?' Richie took her hand as they stepped back from the side of the road, watching the taxi disappear around the corner.

‘No, a walk sounds nice.' Debbie pivoted on the spot and began heading towards the ramp down to the beach. ‘I've been getting up early to help Elsie and Teresa with the morning's baking, but I think I'm in that much of a routine, I'll probably wake up at four, whether I've had eight hours or two.'

‘Four?' Richie whistled through his teeth.

‘Haha, yes, and that would have been my reaction too if anyone had suggested I get up at that time before I came here.' Debbie shrugged as her trainers hit the sand, sinking slightly. ‘I enjoy it. We have a good chat about stuff and bake at the same time. It's like a girlie catchup more than anything else.'

Richie widened his eyes. ‘Still, it's four in the morning.'

Debbie laughed. ‘So, tell me, what type of building work do you do?'

Looking down, Richie ran his fingers through his hair. ‘Ah, now that's a sore subject. I'm between jobs at the moment. The company I work for was cutting staff because of lack of work available and I took voluntary redundancy so I could come and help running the pub.'

‘Oh, really?' Debbie frowned.

‘Yes, it may have been a rash thing to do but...' He shrugged as they reached the water's edge and slowed their pace. ‘... I wanted to come here to the bay, to help my aunt and uncle out, as well as to get away from my hometown for a bit. Besides, I've been staying with my mum for the last few months due to my landlord selling up, so there wasn't much to stop me.'

Debbie nodded. ‘You needed a change of scenery?'

‘That, yes, but also because the woman I had been going to marry four years ago moved back and with her brought her now-husband and son.'

‘Right.' Debbie kicked at a lump of sand, missing and instead hitting a small puddle of water, which subsequently splashed up over her trainers. He was still in love with her. That much was obvious. He wanted to get away from his hometown for a while so he didn't have to see her day in, day out. She understood that, and she was sure she'd feel exactly the same if Ben hadn't moved away, but he also didn't want to stay in the bay. He'd said that, hadn't he? Shortly after they'd first met, he'd said he was only here to visit, to run the pub for a while. He'd made it clear moving to the bay was completely out of the question.

‘Exactly.'

She glanced across at him briefly and muttered, ‘You're still in love with her, then.' It was a statement, not a question.

‘In love with her?' Richie halted and turned to her, taking both her hands in his. ‘I'm not in love with her. We broke up four years ago.'

Keeping her eyes on the sand between them, she murmured, ‘That doesn't mean anything. Love doesn't have a set timeframe.'

‘No, it doesn't, but I can promise you I'm not.'

Debbie nodded, her eyes still focused on the sand. She knew how she sounded. She knew he'd probably think she was being paranoid. Or even worse, he was likely wondering why she was feeling this way because at the end of the day, what did it matter? How he felt about his ex? About her?

‘Where's this coming from?' Gently tucking his index finger beneath her chin, he raised it slightly, so she was looking at him. ‘Debbie, you can tell me anything. You know that.'

She sighed. ‘I know. I do, but I don't think you're going to want to hear it.'

‘Try me.'

Biting down on her bottom lip, she took a deep breath. ‘You're going back to your hometown soon, aren't you?'

‘When my aunt and uncle get back from their holiday, yes.'

‘And when exactly is that? With bated breath, she waited for him to answer. She hadn't asked before. She hadn't wanted to know the answer. Everyone treated him as though he were just another resident of the bay, so it had been a topic she had easily avoided.

‘Next week.' His voice cracked.

‘Next week?' She jerked her head higher, looking him directly in the eye. ‘Why didn't you say? I assumed you had weeks left.'Maybe she should just come clean, tell him how she was really feeling then. If he was going home soon anyway, then this might be her only chance.

‘Because it was easier to forget.' Taking his hand from hers, he ran the palm across his face. ‘I'm sorry, I should have told you.'

‘No, I should have asked.' Taking his hand again, she gripped them tightly. ‘You're going home next week.'

‘Yes, but I need you to believe I don't have feelings for my ex. Yes, when she first moved back it was strange, and it was easier to avoid her, but only because things were awkward.' He took a deep breath. ‘The man she married had been my best mate, the person I'd asked to be my best man at our wedding. I came to the bay because of him, not her.'

‘Because you didn't want to keep running into him?'

‘That's right. If I'd still had feelings for my ex, or anyone else for that matter, I'd have never started what we have. Ever.' He rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. ‘I'm falling for you, Debbie Keene. And I know that sounds ridiculous, but I feel as though I've known you far longer than we have. Those sixteen years between seeing each other again, well, they may well have been yesterday.'

She smiled, tears forming in her eyes. ‘I feel the same way.'

‘You do?'

‘Yes.' She frowned. It didn't matter though, did it? It didn't matter how they felt about each other, they were still going to be parted next week and what would that mean for their relationship? ‘Next week though...'

Squeezing his eyes shut, Richie nodded before opening them again. ‘I know.'

‘This will always be it, won't it?' She voiced the fears which were bubbling inside her, the worries she couldn't qualm, the questions which couldn't be silenced.

‘It doesn't have to be.'

‘How?' What other way was there? A long-distance relationship, as Brooke had suggested? But with her history...

‘We can try the long-distance thing. I'll only be three hours away.'

‘Three hours is a long way.'

‘No, no, it's not. We could visit each other on the weekends. Any holiday we have from work.'

She dropped his hands, letting hers fall back to her sides. ‘Neither of us even have jobs. We don't know if we'll be working shifts, if we'll have the time or money to visit each other.'

Looking down, Richie rubbed the back of his neck again. ‘No, but it doesn't matter. We'll make it work because we want it to.'

Debbie laced her fingers together, gripping them in front of her. Anything so she didn't wrap her arms around him and pull him close. She needed to be sensible. When Ben had left for the States, he hadn't even wanted to give a long-distance relationship a chance at first. He'd dismissed her desperate pleas siting that their good intentions to visit, to call every day, would soon wear thin and he'd been right because when he'd given in and told her they would try, that's exactly what happened. He'd been right, a clean break would been the kinder option. And that's why she knew what she had to do now. ‘I can't.'

‘You can't? You can't what?' His eyes glistened in the dim light from the streetlamp above them on the promenade and the moon hanging low over the ocean. He knew the answer.

‘This. It won't work. I'm sorry I should never have let it get this far. Neither of us should have. Both of us knew the outcome. We both knew that we wouldn't stand a chance being together. It was a mistake to simply forget this was coming.' She was sobbing now. She felt as though her heart was breaking, but she knew he deserved more. This man, who had managed to capture her heart in the couple of weeks she'd been down in the bay, deserved more than she could offer him. More than they could offer each other.

‘Debbie, please. We can make this work. Let us try.'

‘I don't think I can.' Her voice came as a whisper,as she turned her back on him. With her head down and her eyes fixed on the sand in front of her, Debbie quickened her pace as she made her way back across the sand and up the ramp. She could hear him calling her name behind her, pleading with her, but she couldn't turn back. If she did, she didn't trust herself not to fall into his arms and agree to try the long-distance relationship, and she knew she couldn't put herself through that again. Ben had chosen his job over her, he'd moved hundreds, thousands of miles away, and Richie was doing the same, he was going back to his hometown to look for more work, another job and all she could think was, why didn't he look here?

If he wanted them to work, if he really did feel the way he said he did about her, then why wasn't he willing to give them a chance? Why wasn't he willing to tell her he'd carry on living at the pub for a while, give the relationship his all? A go?

What was a couple more weeks? A month, say? He'd been away from his hometown for this long. He'd told her he was currently living with his mum, he didn't have a mortgage, rent. So what was stopping him?

She was. That was what. She was the reason he didn't want to stay on in the bay. He told her he was falling for her; he spoke all the right words, but actions spoke louder than words, didn't they?

Hurrying across the cobbles, she let herself into the bakery, grateful the shop was dark, empty. Closing the door behind her, she sank to the floor.

Love was supposed to conquer all. That's what everyone learned, didn't they? From the fairy tales, from the romance books, Hallmark films. From everywhere. Well, whatever Richie felt for her wasn't love then. He'd jumped at the opportunity to leave his hometown to look after the pub, but he couldn't do the same for her. He couldn't give her a few weeks.

She lowered her head to her knees. Not that she could ever ask him, not that she could ever say that was the reason she'd had to end it, because she didn't think his feelings for her were strong enough. No, she'd just sound unreasonable. She'd sound pathetic, begging for his love, his time.