37. Last Chance

Chapter thirty-seven

Last Chance

Mila

T he palace buzzed with fear and anticipation. Borislav's army was on the move, heading toward the capital. Miroslav had ordered the nobles to remain at court, but every morning found another household gone, secreted out of the capital in the middle of the night, in fear of the approaching enemy.

They would arrive within two days. Han would arrive.

I still couldn't believe it. He was alive. I'd mourned him, healed, and moved on. And now he was alive, and he was coming back for me.

I didn't know if it was excitement or dread that had my stomach in knots.

What would Alexey think? The tsar had promised to get me out of the capital before they attacked. Would I have time to explain, to tell him goodbye?

I'd probably never see him again. I was going back to my husband and my old life. Back to being Mila. Alexey wouldn't want to see me again once he found out who I was.

I looked around my workroom, and my gaze landed on Lady Yelena's latest order. I'd planned to have my assistant deliver it tomorrow—provided the capital wasn't under siege by that time—but I needed something to do.

And maybe I'd see Alexey. Possibly for the last time.

I packed the dresses carefully and trekked across the grounds to the main palace. Alexey was nowhere in sight when I reached Lady Yelena's quarters, but the baroness received me in the drawing room, where she lounged on a low couch. Her face was ashen, but her smile was warm.

"Sofia Stepanova. You've finished them already?"

I smiled back. "I made them my top priority, my lady. How are you feeling?"

"Ill. Overwhelmed. Tired." She sighed. "I'm told the illness should stop any day now."

"I'm sure you'll feel better soon."

The baroness gestured for her maidservant to take the dresses. "I'll try them on." She stood but clapped her hand over her mouth. "Excuse me." She darted through the door, followed by her maidservant.

Left alone, I stepped toward the open door, my heart pounding in an odd rhythm. Was Alexey nearby? Most likely he was off preparing for the upcoming battle, but I couldn't help peering down the hall in hopes of seeing him.

The door across the hall was ajar as well. I saw a desk covered with papers, and a crystal decanter of medovukha sat atop the desk next to a half-filled glass.

Kazimir's study.

I looked up and down the hall. It was empty, silent as a tomb.

If I wanted revenge on Kazimir Vladimirovich, now was my chance. I slipped my hand into my pocket, wrapping my fingers around the tiny potion Borislav had given me. I carried it everywhere; he'd told me it was for emergencies only, but what possible use would I have for it after this week? I didn't have to use all of it, anyway. Just a few drops, enough to kill the bastard who had taken my child from me.

Heart pounding, I scanned the hall again and darted over to the study.

This might be my last opportunity to help Tsar Borislav win the war, as well. Kazimir could have left important papers on his desk, something revealing details about the palace security or the army's movements.

I rifled through the papers. Personal correspondence, financial statements…

There. My gaze landed on a stack of sheets bearing the seal of the palace guard. I picked them up.

They were reports by the captain of the palace guard going back at least a month. Perfect. I didn't have time to go through them, but the tsar might find something useful in them. I tucked them into my pocket and pulled out the poison I carried.

This was it. My only chance to kill the monster.

With shaking hands, I reached for the stopper.

"My sun?"

I whirled around, heart in my throat. Alexey stood in the doorway, frowning at me, brows knit together.

"Alexey." My voice came out breathless. "I—" What could I say?

"What are you doing in here?" His eyes flashed between me and the decanter.

I tucked the potion into my pocket and reached for his hand. "I…I'm sorry. The door was open, and I was admiring the glassware. Is it crystal?" A poor excuse, but I prayed he'd believe me.

He pulled his hand from mine and drew the bottle and letters from my pocket. I went cold.

He tucked the letters beneath his arm and opened the potion to sniff at the contents.

"Tell me you weren't trying to poison him," he whispered.

"I—" I began, but he held up a hand.

"No. Don't lie to me." He rubbed his temple. "Don't you think if that was an option, I would have done it already? He's a bastard, I know. I hate how he treats his wife. But he's not worth throwing your life away over." He brushed my cheek. "They will kill you for it. Don't ask me to let that happen."

"I'm not—" Tears threatened to choke me. "It's not just her he's hurt." I had to tell him what Kazimir had done to me. He needed to know who he was serving, why I was willing to risk everything for this. I took a deep breath.

Lord Kazimir strode into the study, and my words died in my throat.

"What is this, Grigorovich?"

"The seamstress got turned around on her way to attend your lady wife, my lord. I was ensuring she hadn't seen anything she shouldn't before I returned her to the baroness."

The baron jerked his chin at the papers Alexey held. "And those?" He grabbed them and glanced at them before turning to me, nostrils flaring. "Treacherous little bitch."

I couldn't breathe. I tried to step back, but the wall was behind me. Out. I had to get out.

Alexey stepped between me and the baron. "My lord, I hadn't had a chance to question her yet, but I can do that now."

Kazimir flicked a hand. "Leave us. I'll question her myself."

I turned wide eyes on Alexey. Don't leave me alone with him.

"My lord—"

"Now, Grigorovich."

Alexey stiffened, bowed, and left.

The baron walked to the door, his footsteps drowned out by the rushing of blood in my head. He closed it and turned back to me.

Alone with the monster.

I couldn't do this. Not again.

"Now," he said in a voice of deathly calm, "explain to me why my manservant had those papers. Because I know he didn't take them himself."

I took a step to the side, putting the desk between us. Out. I had to get out.

He darted around the desk and grabbed me by the neck. "Answer me."

A whimper escaped my lips, but I didn't speak. Couldn't speak.

He smacked me. "Answer me, bitch!"

Not again. It couldn't happen again. I curled into myself, arms around my stomach.

Quick, heavy footsteps sounded in the corridor, and two palace guards burst into the room, followed by Alexey. I took in a deep, gasping breath. Salvation.

"That's her." He pointed at me, his face void of emotion. "I caught her trying to poison the baron."

Not salvation. Just another punishment. I backed up, but the guards took me by the arms.

As they dragged me from the room, I heard Kazimir swear. "I didn't need your interference, Grigorovich."

I couldn't hear Alexey's response.

***

The clang of the closing door and the thud of the guard's retreating footsteps echoed in the cold chamber. I blinked as my eyes tried to adjust, but the darkness was absolute. A scuffling sound nearby made me flinch.

"Who's there?" My words came out in a whimper, still too loud in the silence.

A woman's voice, raspy from disuse, answered me. "Sofia?"

"Lady Heli?" I felt my way around the cell. It was small and empty with bars on one side. The baroness's voice came from a nearby cell.

"Why are you here?" she asked. "Were you discovered?"

My face was hot in the cold darkness. Kazimir had seen the papers I'd taken from his desk, but that wasn't what Alexey had told the guards about. Why?

Maybe he hadn't realized what the papers were. Or maybe he hadn't understood why I had them.

No, he was too smart for that. He had to have known. Was it possible he'd done it to protect me? I wrapped my arms around myself, wishing I could talk to him. What was he thinking right now? Did he think I'd betrayed him? That I'd been using him?

"Sofia?"

I had to stay calm, focused. Whatever Alexey thought of me, I was here now. I'd survived Kazimir again. I hadn't killed him, but he hadn't killed me, either. "I tried to poison the baron of Arick." My voice came out steady. Good.

"Why?"

What could I tell her? He hadn't suspected me of working with Borislav, hadn't been suspicious about my connections to Lord Ilya and Lady Heli. There was no reason I should have done it—no reason Sofia Stepanova should have done it.

The truth, then. "He attacked me last year, before I came to court. He killed my son."

Silence met my words, stretching on until it was nearly unbearable. Guilt burned through me, but I raised my chin. I refused to be ashamed about trying to avenge my son.

At last the baroness spoke. "You risked all our lives for revenge?"

My throat tightened. Calm. I had to stay calm. I hadn't risked our lives. Tsar Borislav would be here in a day or two. They would take the palace, find us, and free us.

As if she'd heard my thoughts, she scoffed. "You are a traitor and a fool. Miroslav's jailers torture as a matter of course. You won't be able to withstand it. You'll tell them everything, and then you will beg for them to kill you."

I wouldn't. I didn't have to survive it long, just long enough for Borislav's army to get here. A couple days at most.

Still, I shivered at the thought. "Have you—have they tortured you?" I fought to quell the mental image of the old baroness chained to a wall, her slender body marked with bruises, dried blood streaked down her cheek.

She made a choking sound that resembled a laugh. "No," she said. "No, my sweet cousin may be content to lock me in here and let me waste away, but he doesn't believe women are capable of masterminding conspiracies. He has some reservations about torturing those of the Blood, as well. You don't happen to be a distant relative of ours, do you?"

I didn't think she expected an answer, but I gave one anyway. "No."

"Pity. I suggest you find a way to kill yourself. The alternative is truly unbearable."

"But Borislav is coming!" I said. Of course, she wouldn't have heard. She'd been locked in here for weeks. "He'll rescue us."

"He's finally marching on the capital?" She laughed again. "Take what comfort you can from that, girl. You won't live to see it. Even if he arrives today, sieges take weeks, months. You and I will be long dead before they can get to us."

The chamber fell silent once more, the atmosphere growing thick and heavy. As Lady Heli's ragged breathing grew steady, I struggled to suck in air.

Why hadn't I realized? Just because Borislav was coming to the capital didn't mean he'd capture it in a single day. My chest tightened, and my stomach knotted as I pictured what would happen once Miroslav's men came to torture me. I wouldn't be able to withstand it, not if the stories were true. Water torture, the witch's chair, compression, and other devices too horrible to consider. Whatever they did to me would make Kazimir's attack look like child's play. Even if I could survive for a day or two, Lady Heli was right. By the time Borislav took the city, I'd be begging for death, having revealed everything I knew about Tsar Borislav and the rebellion.

The tsar had given me that potion for emergencies, for a moment like this, and I'd squandered it on a futile attempt at revenge.

The walls closed in around me. I couldn't breathe. The damp dungeon air was thicker than water, filling my lungs. I gasped, tearing at my clothes.

Out. I had to get out.

I'd betrayed them all. Han was alive, and I was going to get him killed. Han, and Izolda, and the tsar, and everyone else whose survival depended on my knowledge remaining secret.

Silent, gasping sobs wracked my body. I curled up in the corner of my cell, the stone floor frigid against my cheek, and let my despair consume me.